Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the rings. J.R.R. Tolkien does!

Chapter 21: That haunting feeling.

Piecing light greeted her as Aranel opened her eyes and she quickly shut them again, watching the coloured spots chase themselves across the dark background of her eyelids. She heard someone shift slightly next to her and eventually curiosity got the better of her and she opened her eyes again, blinking quickly as her eyes began to water from the light and looked beside her. Legolas was asleep in a chair next to her bed, his hand gently resting in hers. Aranel wondered how long he must have been there to fall into such a deep sleep. She watched him for a while, shifting slightly into a more comfortable position. Something glinted on her bedside table beside her and she reach over to pick up a silver ring, realising that it was her betrothal ring. Aranel stared at it, lost in thought of everything that had happened. She suddenly felt so ashamed of herself she wondered why she still lived, surely she didn't deserve to. She had betrayed her father, no matter what anyone said she knew there was a time she had been willing to do Orenar's bidding. And on top of that, despite how much she had pushed Evandar away from herself he had still been there in the end to bring her back. Tears flowed down her cheeks at everything she had done and everyone she had hurt. When Legolas awoke, whispering her name in relief and coming to sit on the edge of her bed, wrapping her into his embrace, she had only wept all the harder, the ring pressing painfully into her palm she held it so tightly.

"What have I done Legolas?" She whispered into his neck as her tears slowed, "I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Legolas murmured gently. "Nothing at all."

"But Evandar…" Aranel trailed off, pushing back from Legolas and staring at the ring in her hand, it's shape imprinted into her palm like a brand.

She held it between them and both just stared at it for a long moment, Legolas cradling her hand, gently stroking her knuckles. Aranel tried to stifled a sob, Legolas leaning in to comfort her, Aranel leaning her forehead against his, the tears flowing down her cheeks and falling onto her palm.

"How can you be like this when I've caused you nothing but pain?" Aranel asked quietly. "It can only get worse from here."

Legolas looked up at her words, gently lifting her chin so he could look into her blue eyes. He watched her for a moment, remembering the horror of seeing her under Orenar's influence, the way her dead eyes had watched him and relief ran through him as he looked at her now.

"I'm in love with you Aranel. No matter what happens I want you to always know it." Legolas replied finally.

"I love you to." Aranel said as a new bout of sorrow washed over her and she curled up in Legolas's embrace once more, wondering how much longer she would be able to do so.

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The nurse came and went, leaving Aranel with a hot cup of broth and some extremely comfortable pillows on which she had been propped up on. All in all, Aranel was emotionally drained, but her physical injuries only really consisted of loss of energy from lack of food and the cut on her hand, which had been bandaged up. She now sat with Evandar and Illindor, still feeling horribly ashamed of herself, playing with her betrothal ring instead of looking anyone in the eye.

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell anyone. I was so naïve, he just seemed to know exactly what I was going through and…" Aranel trailed off, Evandar put his arm around her shoulder and she lent heavily into him. It had been a long time since she had felt this comfortable around him, it seemed her foolishness had had some benefit; it had brought herself and Evandar closer.

"Do not berate yourself for it Aranel, it was not your fault. You were right, I should have been there for you, I can't imagine what this must have been like for you." Illindor tried to console his daughter coming to sit on her other side and taking her hand.

"But I should have trusted you, both of you, instead of a complete stranger." Aranel replied miserably.

"Aranel, Orenar has spent a millennia and more manipulating people, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Some of our greatest Fay have been blinded by Orenar's lies. You had no defence against him. If anyone should feel ashamed it is me, you were under my charge and I failed you when you needed someone the most." Evandar said quietly, rubbing her arm gently.

"We both should have realised what was happening." Illindor concluded, "It is not you who needs forgiveness but us."

Aranel only nodded in reply, at the moment she could not see the truth behind their words so she sat in a solemn silence, still staring at her ring. Evandar eventually placing his hand over it, leaning in to say to her quietly, "After everything you have been through I would not expect you to go through with this." With his words he slid the ring out of her hand and slipped it into his pocket.

Illindor noticed the action, standing and heading to the door. "You have much to discuss." Was all he said as he left quietly.

Aranel sat looking at her now empty hand, finally looking up at Evandar.

"You do not want me after all I have done." She wasn't sure if it was a question or if she were merely voicing her thoughts. "I have disgraced you." She whispered.

"What? Aranel don't be ridiculous. I'm sure by now you have figured out how I feel about you. I anything what happened has showed your strength, especially of your heart."

Evandar stood and stared out of the window, he did not want her to see the sorrow in his eyes. "I know I can not make you truly happy, as you deserve, and I would not keep you from the one who can." He continued.

"After everything I have done, no matter how much I have hurt you, you still stood by me in the end Evandar. I think that says a lot about the strength of your heart. I would be a fool to turn my back on that now."

"But Legolas-"

"What Legolas and I have was doomed from the start. We both knew it, we were just to stubborn to accept it." Aranel got up then, walking a little shakily to Evandar, Evandar reaching out to support her as she stood before him.

"When it came to you I saw only what I wanted to see. I didn't see how much cared for me or helped me, I didn't want to see how much I needed your support and despite all that your still here, still doing what you thinks best for me. I should feel lucky to have someone like you who cares so much about me." Aranel said the last sentence quietly, hanging her head slightly, unable to look him in the face.

"What are you saying Aranel?" Evandar murmured, tilting his head to catch her eye.

"Sorry I think." Aranel replied just as quietly.

Evandar wrapped his arms around her, letting her rest on his shoulder. "It's ok Aranel."

They remained like that for a moment, Aranel finally pulling back. When she did Evandar was holding the betrothal ring in his hand.

"And this?" He asked quietly.

Aranel offered her hand up to him, smiling crookedly as he slid the ring back on her finger. "I'd be honoured." She murmured quietly as Evandar embraced her again. It seemed the emptiness that had haunted her since the beginning of her betrothal had not left her, and she couldn't bring herself to feel anything, even for Legolas.

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Ok, I know it's been a while, and I said I'd update soon as well. I feel so guilty! And the chapters fairly short as well! Soooo sorry guys! I'll try and get back into the swing of things. Until then read and review as always! Thanks!