Chapter VII

Drowning in sorrow

Thanks to Audax' mighty guard, the shield had less effect on us. We both got blown backwards, me still screaming my lungs out, tightly gripping Audax' hand. We fell down and I saw, fear cluthing my breath, Audax banging hard with is head against a rock. His eyes fell shut. I fell onto him and laid there for a while. In a distance, seeming so far, being so close. I could hear a connon firing, Sin roaring. Another explosion and the ground trembled. I forced myself to get up, looked at my hands and screamed. They were covered with blood, but not mine. Warm soft blood, dripping off my hands and soaking through Audax' shirt. I shook my head. "No..." I raised my hands. "CURA!"

A bright light covered him, but he didn't respond. "No! In the name of Yevon, work! CURA!" The same effect. "CURA CURA CURA!" I cried. "CURAAAA!" I laid down my head on his chest, sobbing loudly. I cried, then screamed. I screamed his name, screamed for him to come back, to hold me, to comfort me. I screamed as if it were the only thing I could do. It mostly was the only thing I could do.

Strong arms grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back, but I would not let go of him. Desperate I clunged to his shirt, still crying. But the hands pulled mine open and pulled me up. "No – no, my guardian!" I cried. I turned around and clasped the man's collar. "You must help him!" It was a young man, and by the looks of it, a Crusader. He had a patch of black hair on top of his head and his face was bleeding on several places. He pointed at two other man. "You two!" They saluted. "Sir!" "Take him to Djose temple, do whatever you can to save him!" "Yes, sir!" They lifted Audax carefully off the ground and carried him away.

My sight was blurred with tears. "I thank you, sir! How can I ever..." "Are you a summoner?" I clammed up. A Summoner... Without Audax at my side I would have to give up on my pilgrimage. He was the only guardian at my side, except for Pyrefly, but Pyrefly. A couple of feet away from me I saw my staf, jammed between a couple of rocks. "Yes, I – I am." "Lady Summoner, please, many of us have died. Knowing that they will become fiends would only increase our grief and..." "Yes, I'll send them," I said quietly before he could end his sentence. I pulled my staf from the piles and followed him.

As we walked further and further down Djose Highroad, I slowly started feeling a burning pain down my leg and found it difficult to stand on. Not willing to complain I kept on limping, as he led me to the beach, where already another summoner was waiting, staf clutched tightly in her hands. "Lady Yuna," I said surprised. She hadn't changed a bit since I last saw her at Kilika Port, only now, her face was overrun by even more sorrow. As our eyes met, the only thing we were able to do was nod quietly, then turn our eyes away. We both had too many things on our mind to talk. While we both took our place, I scanned the beach and was struck with horror. Hundreds of bodies were lying on the sand and the water was coloured red of the fresh blood. I held my staf tightly looked down and saw my hands too were covered with blood. I closed my eyes and started dancing.

Turning around and sweeping my staf, all I could think of was Audax. What were they doing to him right now? Would he be okay? When I opened my eyes once I could see the pyreflies twirling and rising towards the clouded sky. On the verge of tears I continued dancing, carefully putting on foot next the other turning and sweeping from side to side. In the corner of my eye I could see Yuna doing the same thing. Warm tears ran dow my cheeksand I sobbed quietly. My very first sending. Already I was hoping it would be my last.

The sending took all night. After everyone on the beach had finally left off for the Farplane, we still needed to send those who had been struck down by the Sinspawn. Exhausted, Lady Yuna and I went to the Djose temple. I didn't want to go. Every step I took brought me closer to the truth. Was Audax dead, or did he make it out alive? God, please be fine. Halfway the bridge I fell onto my knees. A little rock had cause me to trip and fysically and emotionally drained I found no strength to stand up. I just sat there, until footsteps approached me and someone crouched at my side.

"Come, you need rest," Lady Yuna's soft voice whispered. I weeped and brought my hand to my face. "I can't... I can't go to Djose temple..." I whispered. "My guardian... He was close to death when I last saw him... They brought him there... What if... if..." I broke down again, sobbing extremely loud now. She held my shoulders and slowly helped me up. "Sometimes you must face your fears. You can't run from it. Many people lost ones precious to them today." Her words somehow comforted me.

I nodded and together we approached the temple. It was an incredible sight. The temple was huge itself, but aside that, giant rocks were floating near it's peak, lighting slashing between them. The amazing sight stopped my tears. Lady Yuna let go strode towards the temple. "Lady Yuna!" She stopped and turned. I swallowed. "I must ask, who was the brain behind ths masacre?" She was silent for a moment. Then she sadly shook her head. "The only blame is to Sin." Then she went inside. I just stood there thinking. Sin... I would beat him, I would.

Two Crusaders passed me, carrying another wounded with them. I watched the temple, then settled myself down behind a rock. I could not, not yet. "Sir!" "And, did you count them?" "Y-Yes, sir." I listened. "Well, how many?" "W-We are still looking for further survivors sir. But, right now, we're missing 1056 people, s-sir." I stopped breathing. 1056... that were more people than we had on Kilika Port... Only now I saw my leg was bleeding heavily. I turned to the temple. I had to go in there sometime. I slowly limped inside.

The temple was lighted the same way like back in Kilika and Besaid. Four tourches in the main hall, and a stair leading to the Cloister of Trials. I saw several field beds installed around the main hall, and priesters and other women taking care of the people lying in them. Screams filled the room. "I'm dying, I'm dying!" "Aah-ah..." "GEMM SA!" What was I doing in there? I could quite simply cast a cure spell, right? I raised my hand. "Cure..." Nothing happened. I had wasted to much magic on trying to cure Audax.

I dropped my staf. A women rose from another patient. "Lady Summoner!" She pushed me down onto an empty bed. "Let me see that leg." "No, I-I'm fine, look after the other people..." "No m'lady Summoner, we have done everything we could to help them." "M-My guardian... what about my guardian? Audax! AUDAX!" I heard no answer, there was too many noise. "You need rest," she whispered and casted a sleep spell on me. I flaked out before I could protest.

When I woke up, the fire of the torches had dimmed and I could barely see. I could hear a soft whisper a couple of feet away from me. "Drec fyc y sycylna, y bina sycylna..." "E ghuf. Tysh Kinoc..." I groaned and sat up straight. My leg was still stiff but the wound was heeled. I saw two Al Bhed who had been talking. They went silent as soon as they saw she was awake. "Ec cra y summoner?" "E raynt cra cahd dra baubma fa mucd dukadran fedr myto Yuna. Cu cra sicd pa, pid cu ouihk..." I sighed irritated. "E cbayg Al Bhed, kuuvc!" I snapped and they made a small jump into the air.

I bet much more people thought I was too damn young to be a summoner, but they didn't have to talk like that in my presence. I could speak Al Bhed for years. My grandmother was Al Bhed, she thought me how to speak Al Bhed when I was a little girl. I slid of the field bed. The room turned for a moment but then I stood firmly. "E fecr du caa so guardian, Audax." "Guardian?" "Yes, guardian. Stop pretending like you don't get what the fuck I'm saying, I wanna know what happened to my guardian!" I screamed. To my surprise, no one woke up. Later on I found out I was the only one still alive in there.

I didn't know whether they understood plain English, but they did understand my outburst and on turned to another: "Ku ycg fryd rybbahat du y kiynteyh po dra hysa uv Audax." "Nekrd yfyo." He left the room and I sat down again. Please be alive, please... "Cu, ruf umt yna oui?" He really couldn't get off the topic how young I was. "Vevdaah," I muttered. "E mavd Kilika yvdan Sin yddylgat." "E raynt ypuid ed. Cunno." I shrugged and waited. Two minutes later the man enterred again. "E ycgat." I jumped up. "Yht?" He smiled. "Drao cyet ra'c nacdehk ib eh dra dnyjam ykahlo uidceta dra dasbma."

I screamed of joy and jumped into the man's arms. "Dryhg oui! Dryhg oui cu silr!" I said and kissed him on the cheek. Then I ran outside, barely noticing I was on my bare feet. Storming inside a few sleeping Crusaders woke up, looking alarmed, noticed it was me and fell asleep again. "I'm looking for a man named Audax, they said they brought him here," I asked the lady behind the reception desk. After blinking a few times she pulled out a key and led the way to Audax' room. My hands were trembling when she opened the door with a click.I shuffled inside, then she closed the door again. I couldn't let a smile spreading on my face.

He was lying in a bed, breathing peacefully. He had hardly any scratches at all. I sat down next to him and caressed his hand. He didn't wake and I let him sleep. I was so happy. He was alive and well. I laid down next to him and placed his warm soft hand on my cheek. Yet, a tear rolled from the corner of my eye. Now I could complete my pilgrimage.