This chapter takes place sometime after Ch64 of SFTD.

Mordenna would freely admit that he loved hanging with his siblings—even if it ended up leading to some slightly more morbid avenues of conversation.

The three of them were chilling in Eliza's room again, which had come to be a favored hangout spot while Eliza was "on ice," as it were. The three of them would mill about on the couches, occasionally watch movies that Jax and Fal-Mai picked out since Mordenna was largely banned from doing so, and just... talked. Had some feelings jams, discussing things they could only talk about with each other. Wasn't that they didn't trust anyone else—it was just that the three Chosen were the ones who really understood the things they had gone through.

Like the conversation that was about to happen. They had lapsed into some comfortable silence—or, Mordenna took it to be comfortable, until he looked up and noticed that Jax looked bothered. Mordenna let the Rubik's Cube he'd made out of his nanos dissolve, focusing on his brother. "Hey, Jaxman. You're looking like there's something that you really ought to be discussing with us."

Jax sighed, leaning forward. Lucifer was napping as of the moment, leaving the Warlock alone. "... there is. But... I don't wish to bring down the lighter tone we have been working with."

Fal-Mai set down her own embroidery hoop among her supplies at the table. "Jax. If there is something on your mind, we would like to hear it. Please don't fear bringing down the mood."

Jax rubbed at his mouth, clearly still debating if he wanted to speak about it. Eventually, he spoke up again. "I... I was thinking about what Argus said, about the Elders. About how they cannot feel love."

Mordenna sat up from his recline. Jax at least wasn't joking, he'd give him that. "... it's a weird, but freeing thing to come to terms with, honestly. Nothing they did was out of some sick, twisted love."

Jax tucked some hair behind his ear, looking away. "About that... when I was doing my thinking, I came to an impasse that disturbed me. Yes, the Elders cannot feel love, and it was never love that drove their actions towards us. But, this leaves me to wonder... what reality would be worse? The current one, where nothing they did to and for us was for love... or some mirror universe, where they were fully capable of loving us and yet still brought themselves to..."

Jax trailed off, then looked up. Distressingly, Mordenna found himself giving it some thought, voicing it as he did. "Well... I mean, it's easier, initially, to know they never were capable of loving us. At least, to me. Makes me less leery on the overall concept of love to know that was never behind them. Even if I apparently have some personal experience with parents doing shit and still being capable of loving me. But..." The more he thought about it? All that work he did in that year's time at the start, trying to make Odin proud of him... and all that time after, hoping at the bottom of his heart that Odin would love him again? "... more I think about it, I think the current scenario is worse. At least with the hypothetical alternative, we could have theoretically won them over. Even if we had to break our own backs in half to do it and if it wasn't in our own best interests. Because... knowing now that they never would've loved us, no matter how hard we tried?" Mordenna was silent for a second. "That's worse. That's infinitely worse to me, and if I would have learned that while we were all still with ADVENT? I think the two of you would've had one less brother to worry about."

Naturally, anytime he said something remotely suicidal, his siblings rallied around him. Fal-Mai got up and sat next to him, hugging him. For want of doing that, Jax leaned over and put a hand on his knee. "Even if hypothetically," he murmured, "please don't say things like that, brother."

"Just a hypothetical," he replied softly, but he knew the power of hypotheticals. He'd been trying to stay away from the suicide jokes. "But, yeah. There's my vote cast in the situation."

"... in my opinion?" Fal-Mai backed off from the hug once it was clear that Mordenna was going to be ok. "I... I think it would be worse, for them to be capable of love and then harm us so. I know love as this powerful, but gentle force. Something that makes me want to dearly care about whoever I have it for, and I would feel distraught if I ever harmed them. If the Elders could love us, and if they did... and still punished us as they did? I don't know if I would trust myself in loving someone. Because... because if they loved us and were capable of such violence, then what about me? Would I just harm the people I love? Would I do what I think is best for them and just hurt them...?" Rosetta popped out from Fal-Mai's arm, nuzzling her chin. She sighed, taking Rosetta into her arms, hugging her. "Thus, why I am glad that we live in this version of reality, all things considered. I do not want to fear for my own love."

Mordenna nodded thoughtfully, and looked to Jax. "Want to weigh in, or still undecided?"

Jax twiddled his thumbs, giving it a thought. "... truly, I cannot decide. I see both of your points. On one hand, everything we all did to make them happy was for nothing. On the other, I do not want to know a version of love that could be so cruel." He gave a weak, weary chuckle. "I cannot even find my own answer to my own hypothetical situation. Truthfully... my mind just keeps coming back to Argus."

Right. The one "good" Ethereal—or at least, the one not emotionally restricted. Mordenna could tell Jax had latched onto them—and at first, he feared he was going to use them as an example that not all of the Elders were bad. But the more he thought about it... the sadder it was. Jax was likely looking for some parental figure to latch onto. Mordenna never wanted a repeat of Odin and Fal-Mai didn't seem like she needed someone else like a parent in her life, but Jax? He could see it. "What about 'em?"

"... that their 'love,' or even some want of mercy for me... is the only reason I am standing today. The only reason why I get to exist as a brother to the two of you. I know everyone else on this ship is suspicious of them, but..." Jax looked at the floor. "Is it so much to want someone who saved me to be good? It is so much to want for others to see in them that which I see? I know both of your opinions on them, but I..." He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't think to change your opinions."

Mordenna, admittedly, still wanted to keep Argus at arm's length. You just didn't be an Ethereal and not be culpable for some of the crimes you did in the past. He saw where Jax came from—all of those happened separated from them, and they were easy to forget and push aside in favor of latching onto Argus. But, in Mordenna's opinion? That didn't save them from answering for them. A million was a statistic, but it was a large one.

But the Chosen were offered the chance at redemption. Why not them?

He sighed, rubbing his face. "... Jax. If you want to be attached to them, please don't let us or anyone else stop you. Argus has done some genuinely good things, especially for you. I'm just... still trying to hold Argus accountable to all of the other things they were party to. They were responsible for a lot of death and subjugation before Earth, even if it wasn't entirely what they wanted to do. They should still be responsible... but you're right. We should at least give them the chance to be better. God knows they have the rest of their eternal life to repent. Just don't go sweeping their actions under the rug, ok Jax? A part of love is actually thinking of what's best for the person you love, and in Argus's case that would be culpability."

Jax nodded. "I had no intentions of such. We may have blood on our hands, but they... they may as well be drenched in it. Even if unwillingly. I just—thank you. It eases me to know that."

Fal-Mai ran her hand over Rosetta's head. "I suppose I, too, want to know Argus more. Less as an absent Elder and more... more as someone who I could genuinely connect with. I do want to see the good in them, but I also don't wasn't to totally forgive them. Not yet." She sniffed. "Also, I wish to make sure they are not going to take advantage of you, Jax. Not on my watch."

Jax chuckled. "Your protectiveness is showing, sister."

"And what of it," she huffed.

Mordenna smiled, patting Fal-Mai's back. "Hey, I like that out of you. Jax is just being a giant meaniehead and wants to tease his sister over nothing."

Scoffing, Jax leaned on his knee. "Oh, forgive me for indulging in some slight teasing, considering the very man of which I am speaking to!"

"You're just mad I get away with it."

"Perhaps I am!"

Fal-Mai laughed, and the two brothers smiled. Even if they went to places like that, even if they considered serious topics... they would always still come out the other side together. Still loving each other.