Chapter Four- Regret

I woke to Severus crying. It had only been two week since we had gotten together, secretly. I knew that he missed his mother. His father, though, if alive I would rip him to bits. It was the middle of the night. I turned over to Severus. We had been in the same bed since that night. I put my arm around him and rolled him around to face me.

"Are you okay, my love?" The small boy cried into my chest I just held him there. The poor boy didn't feel that loved. I would change that. "Severus I joined the dark lord." He looked at me threw puffy eyes. "I would like you join too?"

"Will…I ha…ve…to kill?"

"No." I lied. I wanted him with me but I would do the killing.

I stood next my rank off to one side. I knew what one of the initiations was. All the high deatheaters would take turns raping the newbies. I wanted to be the high deatheater but I was only rank 7 in 9 ranks. Only rank 1 and 2 get the privilege. There are only five of them but I didn't want Severus to get hurt. Severus looked scared. I had told him what would happen. I had expected him to say no but he wanted to do it for me. I look on as the high deatheaters put the newbies in place. They were hoisted above the ground a bit, striped of their clothes so that they were naked. There 10 newbies, each one got five cocks shoved up their ass. I closed my eyes and they advanced. I heard screams and laugher. I opened my eyes to see Severus had his eyes closed and he was not screaming.

After they done with all the new deatheaters Voldemort went to all of them and looked them up and down. When he came to Severus he stood right in front of him.

"I believe that you are the only one never to scream. Even Lucius Malfoy whimpered." I remember my time. It had hurt but I moan with pain, never screamed. Severus looked at me then away. I know he was mad. Voldemort soon let us go. I flew out the door to get to Severus. He was far ahead but I soon caught him.

"Severus I am sorry." He looked away. I wanted to hug him but not here not now. We walked top the portkey in silence. When we were back in our room he made for the bathroom I knew he wanted to take a shower. I would wait awhile then go in am make up with him. As much as I wanted to take him I would not, I would let him heal. I heard the shower go on. I removed my clothes and went in to the bathroom.

"I know you are there, Lucius. I can smell you." I got in to the shower. The water rolled of his slick back hair, the water was warm. I put my hand to his cheek.

"I am sorry Severus, but I told you want would happed." He move toward me.

"If you want to take you can. I maybe hurt but I don't want you hurt like me." I pushed him back to the wall, my mouth on his. I wanted to take him but I would not. I went down to his cock it was not at attention so I would have to make it. I licked the tip, Severus hips move.

"I want you but I want this." I took his cock into my mouth, his moans filled my ears. His hand went through my wet hair, tangling it. It tasted his pre-cum. I was getting close. I went up and down on his cock, wanted it hear him call my name. He started after I thought that. I a whisper but got louder and I felt him cum. He exploded into my mouth. I swallow his cum with grate love. When it ceased I wanted more. I pulled up myself and looked Severus in the eyes. They were filled with love and passion. "I said that I wanted you in my bed, but if you wanted to." I got out and dried off and went to my bed.

Severus soon ended his shower. I laid in bed and he came out with a towel wrapped around his middle. "Like I had never seen naked." He smiled. "See I got you to smile."

"So you have." He went to his bed and climbed in. I laid over my bed.

"Are you sad Severus?"

"No I just regret some things."

"Like me?"

"No." He faced me. "No. I regret this." He showed me is darkmark. I showed him mine.

"We are the same." I beckoned him too me. He came to my, our bed. We slipped under the cover. His body heat was what I want. "Severus I will always love you. But I am not a man that can be toyed with, only you can toy with me." I kissed his full lips, beginning for entrance, that he granted. I sighed softly. "My love."