For the purposes of this story, season 4 of Angel has happened already, and Cordy is in a coma.
Chapter 2: Buffy's View
*****Sunnydale, Night of Dawn's kidnapping*****
I pushed down the giant ball of terror that was threatening to leap out at any moment.
Dawn could not die. Dawn would not die.
I wouldn't let her.
When Glory turned back to Ben, I knew that I needed to make sure he never allowed her out again. But when he spoke, I didn't see her. I just saw him, and he was so scared—so damaged. I didn't have it in me, so I turned away from him as Dawn yelled.
Then I saw her on the ground with some woman I didn't recognize, so I pulled her away and into my arms.
Dawn was safe—that's all that mattered.
The next day, though, I wasn't so sure. A beautiful stranger showing up in the nick of time to save Dawn—to save us all. Miracles didn't happen, and I long since stopped believing that anyone upstairs cared about what happened to me or the ones I loved. It was just too convenient to have Natasha here, and she moved liked a predator.
When I heard her story, I didn't know what to think. Then she showed me what she could do, and I was more confused than ever. I knew she was human—not even a tingle on my slaydar. Yet she put me on my ass so many times I lost count.
Finally, I got up and wiped the blood from my mouth. "You can't be human," I told her.
"I'm human—mostly," she said. "I was born Natasha Romanoff, a Russian asset. They used a version of a super serum on me. I don't have the strength of Captain America or you for that matter. But I don't tire easily and I'm tough. Not to mention, I've got about two decades of fighting experience that you don't have."
She made her statement without bravado—I got the sense that she wasn't bragging, and it made me pause. Even if she was fighting frequently, I fought real monsters. She shouldn't be able to beat me.
I was so tired. Tired of fighting, tired of losing, tired of watching people die. I was tired of shouldering the burden of my calling. My friends couldn't just be my friends—they were soldiers in my war. That was never what I wanted, but it was the choice they made. I valued their lives, but I valued Dawn's more. Even though I knew she was magically created, I was willing to let my friends die, to let the world burn rather than allow her to be harmed.
What kind of slayer was I?
It wasn't that I regretted my choice or my thinking, but I knew that if I kept being faced with these kinds of choices something in me would be break.
I was losing myself.
Now, here was a woman, who could easily do what I do. Maybe she didn't have all my gifts, but she was deadly and poised. She was the woman I always wanted to be when I grew up.
I'm grown up now, but I don't think I will ever be her.
However, I knew not to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I didn't fight Giles or her. I spent time with her, watching her. Everyone was charmed by her. Giles wasn't the only one besotted. Even Dawn adored her, and I worked hard not be jealous. But it'd been months since Dawn had anything to be happy about. What kind of sister would I be if I chased off a person who made her happy, who made her feel safe?
Did it burn a bit that I couldn't be everything she needed? Sure.
However, I loved Dawn more than anything on this planet that I fought so hard to save, so I wouldn't try to interfere. Instead, I would watch this new woman and make sure she was all that she appeared to be. I even invited her to live with us—it made sense. Not only would it get her off Giles' couch, but it was a great way to get to know her. A way to keep eyes on her and to get help with Dawn—I was proud of myself for suggesting it.
After a while, though, I realized she wasn't all that she appeared—she was so much more. Eventually, I, too, became a fan of hers, especially after our summer vacation.
Several weeks after her arrival, we went to the land of Giles with her. Not only did the woman seem to speak more languages than Giles, she seemed to have a superpower she didn't tell us about.
She could get people to do things they weren't inclined to do.
Dad suddenly calling was a nice surprise, especially for Dawn. However, at dinner, he revealed that our aunt had gotten in touch with him. After dinner, I asked Nat what she said to him.
She gave that shrugged I was beginning to believe really was Russian. "I just helped him see that he wanted to be a good man and father," she said.
I didn't push the issue, but then when I had the Council request a meeting while I was there, I began to be suspicious. Things in Buffyland were never this easy or good. I couldn't help but wait for the other shoe to drop, and I expected the meeting with the Council to be the other shoe.
I was so wrong.
Giles and I left Dawn with Natasha and pulled up the castle that served as their headquarters.
"So I'm the weapon that keeps the world spinning, and they have offices this extravagant," I observed. "How come we don't get any of this wealth?"
"Because they're a bunch of greedy skinflints," he said as we walked into Travers office.
The woman at the desk was cordial and didn't make us wait. I could tell that Giles was surprised, but we were greeted warmly by Travers.
"Rupert, it's good to see you," he said, holding out his hand for Giles. Then he smiled at me—he was like an evil Mr. Rogers. It totally gave me the willies.
"Miss Summers, I want to commend you for defeating Glorificus. You once again have proven how exceptional you are." He held out his hand to me.
"Thanks," I said, reluctantly taking his hand. Why did I leave my favorite knife at home? Surely, he was possessed or something.
"Please, have a seat," he said, gesturing to his two chairs.
We sat down and listened to him explain some new changes. "The Council has recently voted on some changes that we want to implement immediately," he said.
"First, Rupert, as the watcher of the current slayer, it is clear that you are not being compensated as you should be, so we're doubling your pay," Travers announced.
"Excuse me?" Giles said, looking as shocked as I felt.
I grinned. "He's giving you more money, Giles. We better not tell Anya," I said with a snicker.
"Well, being the chosen watcher for the slayer is worth more than just verbal accolades," Travers said.
"Not that I'm not happy for your new policy," Giles said. "But why is the Council suddenly concerned with my pay?"
"It's been pointed out that not all watchers are equal, and the pay should reflect that," he said. Then he looked at me. "As for the slayer, I am now convinced we have wrongly undervalued your service."
"Seriously?" I said, not sure what he was getting at. "Are you trying to say that you're going to give me money?"
"From now on, the slayer will receive pay on par with her watcher," he said.
"Really?" I asked, my eyes wide in shock. "Exactly how much is that?" When he told me, I thought it was a joke. "You're joking, right?" I looked at Giles. "I'm being punked."
"No, Miss Summers, I am quite serious," Travers said. "I also would like to say that your tuition will also be paid now by the Council."
"That's wonderful news," Giles said with a smile.
"Your friends will also get compensation for their work stopping the various apocalypses," he said.
"Now that's surprising and much welcomed," Giles said.
"Yes," I said, suspicious. "Why this about-face?"
"Well, times are changing," he said. "And the Council must learn to change with the times."
"What about Faith?" I asked. "Is she going to get any pay? Angel told me he's the only one who puts money on her books for stuff."
"Faith is not an active slayer," he said.
"Yes, but we all bear some responsibility for how things turned out with her," I said. I'd had too many dreams with her in it. Although I didn't talk about it any, I felt guilty for what I did even though I was still angry at her for stealing my body. "Angel said she turned herself in and is taking her punishment."
"Surely, the Council can afford a few hundred dollars a month sent to her," Giles said.
I gave him an approving smile—my watcher was the best.
"I'm sure we can," Travers said.
"Well, this has been a most surprising meeting," Giles said, getting up.
"I hope a nice surprise," Travers said, shaking his hand again.
It was, and I couldn't wait to tell Dawn that we were now flush with cash.
On the way to the exit, I grinned up at Giles. "I can afford a car!" I exclaimed.
Giles winced but said, "I suppose so."
"You'll totally have to teach me to drive," I informed him.
"I think that sounds like a job for our friend Natasha, don't you?" he said with a very mischievous smirk.
I laughed and totally agreed, picturing her face and then the car I would buy with my newfound wealth. Although I was distracted thinking about the car I wanted, a thought occurred to me. "Why do you think they are suddenly seeing things so differently?" I asked.
"I'm not sure," Giles said. "I'll have to make some calls."
I was silent for a long time as I considered the past few days. "You know Dad told me that Natasha was impressive," I shared. "I think she scared him shitless somehow. Do you think she did that with the Council?"
"I couldn't say—how would she know who they were?" he said.
"Didn't she used to be a spy? Aren't they, like, good at finding out things and making people do stuff?" I asked.
"Possibly," he said.
I grinned. "Well, I'm glad she's on our side," I said.
I decided not to confront my new fairy godmother, but I wasn't sure what to think. Her depths were clearly massive—she was a complex woman. Then I realized that she lost her entire world—we were all she had now. For some reason, though, that made me incredibly happy. If she needed us, she wouldn't leave.
She was an incredible teacher, and I was in the best fighting form of my life thanks to her. Xander was, too.
Then I started back to class, and for the first time, I felt lighter. Natasha was home when Dawn and I came home from school, and she often cooked dinner. It wasn't the same as Mom, but she knew a lot of exotic dishes. Dawn loved it, and my stomach never complained. Eventually, we felt like a real family, and the hole our mother's death left inside of us got smaller. It wasn't that she replaced Mom—she didn't try. It was just she made our lives so much better.
The trio of nerds tried to mess with me, but Natasha quickly put an end to that. It seems surveillance was her spidey-sense, and she spotted their lame attempt at spying right away. As they weren't supernatural, I left them to her to deal with.
When Christmas approached, I could tell that she was feeling down. We'd been busy with helping Xander and Anya plan their wedding, so I didn't notice it until a few days before Christmas. She didn't want to go with us to the airport to say goodbye to Giles. At first, I wondered if it was him leaving that had her down, but then Dawn clued me in.
"Natasha is sad," she said.
"Because Giles left?" I asked. I'd definitely been sensing some major vibage between the two of them.
"No, because it's the holidays and her friends aren't here," Dawn said. "She mentioned Clint and his kids—they were like her family. She died so he could live—at least that was what she thought happened. Then she fell through into our dimension. He must've been really great for her to miss him so much."
"Yea," I said. "I wondered if there was a way that she could contact him or get back home?"
Dawn looked upset. "You want her to leave? She can't leave! We need her here!"
"I'm not suggesting she leave, but if she could get a message or something to Clint to let him know she was okay. Or even go there or something," I said. "It would make her feel so much better, I bet."
"But she might stay there," Dawn said, a note of hysteria in her voice.
"Dawnie, we want Nat to be happy, and if she's not happy here, then we should help her get home," I said. "But maybe she just wants to let him know she's okay. Maybe it's just the holiday bringing her down."
"We have to get her a good gift for Christmas and cheer her up," she said.
"I am going to get that picture we took at Thanksgiving framed," I said.
"Oh, she'll like that," she said.
When Christmas morning arrived, I gave her the gift, and she seemed genuinely touched.
I opened her gift and grinned down at the throwing stars. "These are awesome!" I gushed. I picked them up and started to throw one. This was how she was like a cool aunt—my mother would never think of such a gift.
"Don't you dare!" Natasha said. "Save it for the training room or the basement or backyard."
I hugged her and proceeded to do just that.
By the time Willow and Tara got back to town, Natasha seemed her old self again, but I still thought we should try to help her.
I spoke to Willow and Tara, telling them what I was wondering.
"So you want to find a way to get Natasha back to her own dimension?" Willow asked.
"Not necessarily," I said. "I don't want her to leave. I think she's amazing and the best thing to happen to me and Dawn in a long time."
"She is great," Tara agreed.
"I guess," Willow said. I knew Willow was jealous of another redhead, who was so capable in so many ways. She even was gifted with computers and a budding witch. Would the thought of helping her leave help motivate Willow? It was shameless of me to take advantage of her jealousy, but this was too important.
"I just want her to be happy, and if she can at least contact her friends back home, it might give her some peace," I said.
"I'll start researching," Willow said.
"Do you think we should try to contact the Powers?" Tara said. "There are a few conduits on Earth that might help or at least give answers."
"You mean like the guy with the hat? Whistler?" I asked.
Tara nodded. "Yes," she said.
"Thanks!" I said, giving her a hug. "Now, I can focus on talking Natasha into taking me car shopping. I want to start the new year off as a driving girl!"
Willow's eyes lit up. "What kind of car are you thinking of getting?" she asked.
"Well, we all got that back pay from the Council, so I can afford something nice," I said. "Nat says that my slayer reflexes will require me to get a car that handles more like a motorcycle—a light touch."
"That sounds expensive," Tara said.
"Yep!" I said with a happy grin.
Then we were busy with the wedding, and I am happy to say that their wedding went off without a hitch. They went to Aruba for their honeymoon, and I was working some of Anya's shifts at the store until the new semester of classes started.
Natasha came into the store—she usually helped out whenever Giles was busy.
"Hey," I said. "So are you ready to go down to Los Angeles and find me my dream car?"
"Are you ready to finally pass your test?" she asked with a smirk.
"As soon as I find a car that handles well enough," I said, sticking my tongue out at her.
She grinned. "I will take you shopping if you will help me with a project," she said.
"Sure," I said. She had never asked me for help.
"We need to be in a position of power in this city. It makes me nuts that we have no say in anything that goes on in this jacked up town," she said. "Nor have any of you cultivated relationships with people that do."
"What are you thinking? Do you want to run for mayor or something?" I asked.
"Actually, I saw that they posted an ad for a new chief of police," she said.
My eyes widened. "Are you thinking of applying?" I asked. "That'd be so awesome!"
"It would be convenient," she said. "I also think you need to give serious consideration to a career in law enforcement."
I burst out laughing. "Yeah, right," I said.
She didn't smile, and I realized that she was completely serious. "Hey, just because one aptitude test said I should be in law enforcement, it doesn't mean I have to. I could decide to go the way of shrubs!" I informed.
"That makes no sense, but you being in law enforcement does," she said. "You already fight bad guys every night."
"That's my calling, not my job!" I insisted.
She arched her eyebrow and said nothing.
"So it's my job, but it's not my career!" I protested.
"Buffy, you know you're being ridiculous," she said. "I have never met a single person in my life that is better suited for a career in law enforcement than you are—not even me. You are a natural, and I would know."
Her words gave me pause. I respected her too much to dismiss her words completely.
"I just don't see myself as a cop—being all in charge and stuff," I said.
She grinned. "Buffy, do you not see yourself how everyone else does? You are always in charge—especially in difficult and dangerous situations. You command every room you enter," she said.
"Really?" I asked in surprise. Was that how she saw me? A warm glow filled me at her words.
"Yes, really," she said. "If I was chief of police, I could hire you as a part-time officer. You could work the streets, start building human contacts and get a real handle on the pulse of this place. It'll also be a way to legitimize you if people see you in action."
"Well, I've been slaying in this city for nearly six years, and it's not been an issue," I said.
"It's not? You weren't arrested once for murder and then accused another time for it?" she said, arching that eyebrow of hers.
"Dawn has a big mouth," I grumbled.
She grinned. "Just think about it, okay? You'll find the academy a breeze," she said.
"What about you? Here, you don't have any credentials," I pointed out.
"Oh, I'll have them," she said confidently.
Somehow, I didn't doubt her.
****Two Weeks Later*****
Xander and Anya returned from the honeymoon a week ago, and I was now back in school. Natasha managed to get her job as the new chief of police—much to Giles' surprise. I guess, she only spoke to me about it.
I agreed to go the academy in the summer if she would teach me to drive my new black Ferrari. It was a dream car that Giles about killed me for buying. He lectured both me and Natasha when we brought it back from Los Angeles.
Natasha didn't find his lectures boring—I think they amused her because she always got this little smile on her face whenever he started with the lecturing.
Once, I asked her why she didn't find his pontification tiresome.
"Because he cares—sometimes too much," she said. "He worries. Do you know how lucky you are to have him? I had my own version of him, my boss, Nick Fury. He had a much hotter temper than Rupert and didn't have that sexy accent."
"You think Giles' accent is sexy?" I couldn't help but ask, giving her a teasing grin.
She played it cool like she always did—nothing ruffled her. Would I ever be so cool?
"But I was Fury's employee, and I'm not sure he'd go the lengths for me that Rupert has for you," she said.
"I bet he misses you," I said.
"He's dead—along with half my planet," she said. "Unless my team found a way to reverse it—they got all the stones and brought everyone back."
"I'm sure they did," I said. We were silent a moment. Finally, I asked, "If you had a way to get back there, would you want to?"
"I'm not sure," she said. "I'd like to know how everyone is and that everything worked out. I'd like to let Clint know I'm alive—he's probably racked with guilt."
"You wouldn't want to stay?" I asked.
"I loved my guys, being an Avenger," she said. "But there, there's a lot of superheroes, and I'm not really needed."
"We need you," I told her. "I hope you know that. You've not been here long, but you've made a real difference. I'm not sure why you're here, but I know it wasn't an accident. You belong here now—I hope you feel that."
She smiled. "I do," she said.
I was relieved she felt that way because no matter what Willow managed to do, I didn't want Nat to leave us. She wasn't a mother replacement—there wasn't anything maternal about her.
However, she made me feel safe. Like I had someone watching out for me that I could trust completely. I knew, too, that she would keep Dawn safe. If something happened to me, she would protect Dawn with her last breath.
"You know the life of a slayer isn't ever long," I said. "If something happens to me, you'll watch over, Dawn, right?"
"Of course, I would," she said. "But I'm going to make sure you live long enough to get your first gray hair."
I grinned. "My hair wouldn't dare go gray!" I pronounced. That's what Nice-N-Easy was for, after all.
That night I had a dream about my mother. I often dreamt about her, so that wasn't unusual. However, this time it seemed different.
We were in our house on the living room couch watching some movie.
"Do you like Nat?" I asked Mom.
"Of course, I do, honey. She's exactly what I hoped she would be," Mom said.
"Why do you think she is here? Was it just an accident?" I asked.
"There's no such thing—not in a life like yours. There are too many powers at work to either destroy or aid you," she said.
"Do you think she was sent here to help us?" I asked.
She nodded. "Yes," she said. "If she hadn't come when she did, you would've died that night. Willow would have done something very foolish and dangerous to bring you back, which would have had long term consequences for you and your friends."
"Seriously?" I asked. Then it occurred to me. "Is this a slayer dream?"
My mother smiled warmly at me. "Not exactly," she said. "But you aren't without friends, sweetheart. Sometimes, I can come to you and Dawn in your dreams to help you."
My eyes widened. "Are you really here? This isn't just a dream?" I asked, reaching for her hand.
"I'm here," she said. Then she hugged me.
"I can't believe it! I miss you so much!" I told her.
"I am so proud of you," she said. "Tell Dawn that I love her. Tell Xander that I said congratulations, and I wish I could've been there for him and Anya."
"Did you send Nat to us, Mom?" I asked.
"Not exactly. Cordelia is trapped in between the living and dead, and she is really pissed," Mom said.
"Angel told me that she is in a coma," I said.
"She isn't exactly human anymore and knows how to find the power players up here. Cordelia was used very badly by some higher powers, and she's looking for payback," Mom said. "She isn't allowed to directly help those in her own life like Angel, but she was able to make some bargain to help you. Angel's about to run into some serious trouble, and he will need help."
"Do you want me to go to Los Angeles?" I asked.
"Not unless he asks for help," she said. "I've made my own little bargain. Spike is going to help him."
"Spike? No one has seen Spike in weeks," I said. "Dawn was pissed that he missed Christmas."
Mom smiled. "He has a very good reason," she said. She looked distracted for a moment. "I have to go, honey. I love you, and I think you should trust my new sister's instincts."
"Sister? Do you mean Nat?" I asked. Then she was gone, and I woke up.
What the hell?
I heard a phone ring. "Buffy, someone is on the phone for you," Natasha said at my door.
I went to Nat's room where the closest houseline was and picked up the phone. "Hello?" I asked.
"Buffy? It's me," Angel said unnecessarily—I'd always know his voice.
"Is everything okay?" I asked.
"No," he said. "Cordelia's dead. I should've called hours ago, but I didn't want to believe it. She was here with me, so how could she have died in a hospital bed?"
I was confused, and he sounded drunk.
"Have you been drinking?" I asked.
"She helped me one last time—she's been my anchor the past few years," he said. "I don't have you, and now I don't have here. What am I going to do? I lost Connor—I gave him up to save him and to save Cordy, but she's dead anyway."
"I'm so sorry, Angel," I said. Who was Connor? "I will come see you. Try to get some rest."
"Thanks," he said. Then he hung up.
"What's wrong?" Natasha asked.
"An old friend of ours is dead," I told her. "She was in a coma." My dream came rushing to me. Cordelia's death was awfully timely.
"I'm sorry. Do you want me to call your friends?" she asked.
"It can wait a few hours," I said. "No need to disturb their sleep as nothing can change what's happened." I hoped Cordelia would give those higher powers hell. I smiled thinking of that.
I couldn't help but wonder about my dream and Angel's call. Was it a coincidence? Did Cordy's death have anything to do with the bargain she made?
Did it really matter?
Natasha was here, and my mother was dead. What happened to Cordelia had nothing to do with any of us in Sunnydale, but if she did help bring Natasha here, I was grateful.
"Nat, I think I know why you're here," I told her. "I had a dream. . ."
I began to share. If Natasha was brought here for a reason, maybe we could find help to let her connect back with her world. If Cordelia could make things happen when she wasn't even exactly alive, surely, Willow could do something.
Natasha deserved that.
*****Six Months Later*****
Clint went out to his barn. Today would've been Nat's birthday, and he was really missing her.
Suddenly, she was there in front of him. He must be hallucinating.
"Clint, it's me," she said.
"What?" he said. "How?" He moved to touch her, but he went through her.
"I'm not here physically," she said.
"Then how do I know it's really you," he said suspiciously.
She gave Clint that look he'd been missing. "I know you better than anyone—even Laura. I was in Bangladesh when you called me, telling me that you'd met someone," she said. "I knew then that Laura was special."
"Are you a ghost?" he asked.
Natasha grinned. "No. I'm in another dimension," she revealed.
"Really?" he asked, his eyes joyful. "You're not dead?"
"No, I'm not. I'm on another Earth, helping a group of kids keep their world from being overrun with vampires and demons," she said. "I guess it's my world now."
"No shit?" he asked.
"It's true," she said with a grin. "I'm very much okay—in fact, I'm great. But I miss you and the kids so much. I wanted to let you know that I'm not dead. That I was transported into another dimension to save a young girl and prevent another from dying in her place. Now, these girls have become my family."
"I can't believe this, Nat. I'm so glad," he said, grinning at her with tears in his eyes.
"Did it work? Did you stop Thanos?" she asked.
Clint nodded. "We did. We got everyone back," he said. "The kids and Laura are here with me. Can I go get them? They'd love to see you again."
She turned like she was seeing someone else say something to her. "I don't have time," she said, her smile regretful. "But I'm so happy to hear that. It was making me nuts thinking that you guys were suffering."
"How are you here?" he asked.
"I have met a very powerful witch," she said. "Magic is real in this dimension. Not like Dr. Strange magic. Mother Earth stuff—I've learned some myself." She looked again at someone Clint couldn't see. "I have to go. It took a lot of power to project my astral form here, and if I stay longer, I could die. I love you, and I'm safe and happy. Tell the guys I miss them all. Kiss the kids and Laura for me."
Then she was gone.
Clint stood there a moment, wondering if he had dreamed the entire thing. But he was wide awake, and it was too real.
Nat was okay.
He smiled as a weight lifted from him.
"Happy birthday, Nat," he said. "Happy birthday."
*****Chapter End*****
I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are awesome! Thanks!