A/N – It has recently come to my attention that there is cheesecake in my fridge. WHY there is cheesecake in there is… my mum made it, so yeah. And now, I shall do this "Disclaimer" thingy my monkey lawyers are telling me to do.

Disclaimer – I do not own Harry Potter and co. as they all belong to the totally awesome J.K Rowling who has blessed us with a good book to read when we're bored. I make no profit from this story, which sucks cause I need the money for my New Zealand Savings Fund. YES, I am going to New Zealand to see my good friendlies, Lemo, Andy, and Jub, who I don't talk to. Wow, that had nothing to do with a disclaimer. Also, I do not own Andy, Lemo, Mince Sauce, Winston or Poopie McGee as they are all mindless slaves of some guy named Bob.

…not really…

The Misadventures of Poopie McGee

CHAPTER 6 – Draco, The Poof, Challenges Harry To A Midnight Duel

"Well, that lesson wasn't so bad, was it?" Cheesy asked happily as she, Andy, Lemo, Harry, Ron and Poopie left the dungeons. Harry glared at her.

"Not that bad?" he said, "Snape was picking on me! For no reason!"

"Harry, I'm sure he had a reason to be such a poof", Lemo said.

"You're only saying that because Cheesy gave you answers!" Harry said.

"Dude, calm down!" Andy said. "Cheesy wrote 'I squeeze monkey butts for fun' on her paper, and me and Lemo copied it!"

"But Snape didn't pick on you!" Harry said.

"Because he hates you and not us!" Ron said.

"But why!"

"Because you're famous!"

"I don't want to be famous!"

"It's not our fault you survived You-Know-Who!"

"VOLDEMORT!"

Lemo, Cheesy and Andy shrieked, all dropping their bags and books and stuff. A soft smash could be heard, and Cheesy, Lemo and Andy rounded on Harry. "YOU MADE US DROP OUR INK!" Lemo shouted.

"WE NEEDED THAT INK!" Andy added.

"IT'S NOT SOMETHING THAT GROWS ON CHEESE!" Cheesy added. Harry put his hands up in defense whilst Ron cowered behind him. Poopie was standing slightly to the side, looking at his fingernails. "Poopie! Help meee!" Harry said. Poopie ignored him, still looking at his fingernails. And, just to be a bitch, Poopie let out a fake gasp, holding his nails out for everyone to see.

"I've got a hangnail!"

Andy, Lemo and Cheesy gasped, all going to examine Poopie's nails. "That's a bad hangnail", Andy said.

"The worst I've ever seen", Cheesy added.

"Mine are worse", Lemo said boredly. Harry took this chance to duck into the Great Hall before the three crazed girls noticed he was gone. He thought he was safe, until…

"GET HIM!"

In a flash, Harry had been tackled to the ground, and was being poked at. "Quit it!"

"Buy us new ink!" Lemo said.

"Ink that changes colour!" Andy added.

"And…" Cheesy thought for a moment. "It had better be expensive!"

Only when Harry agreed to get them new ink did the three girls let him go. As a group, they all went to sit down and eat. Food. What else would they eat? Well, Poopie didn't eat. He just sat there, staring dreamily at all the students, imagining what a good meal they'd make. Soon, the mail had arrived. "Oh look! I got something from mum!" Ron said as a gross looking owl landed in front of him. Cheesy, Lemo and Andy looked at the owl in disgust.

"That's the ugliest owl I've ever seen!" Lemo said, as three identical eagle owls landed in front of herself, Andy and Cheesy, each carrying boxes of candy and chocolate, as well as a lemon pie for Lemo, a cheesecake for Cheesy, and a pickle jar full of pickles for Andy. Neville Longbottom, some random guy who was put into the story, was looking at a ball that had been sent to him. "Nice Remembrall, Neville", Andy commented.

"What's a Remembrall?" Harry asked.

"It's a ball. Duh", Lemo said.

"It tells you when you've forgotten something", Hermione, who had just sat down, said. Ron screamed like a girl, as he hadn't noticed Hermione. Harry rolled his eyes at Ron, before looking at Hermione. "How can it tell you that?" he asked.

"When it turns red, it means you've forgotten something", Hermione said matter-of-factly. "And Neville, you've forgotten something."

Neville blinked, looking at his Remembrall. "Aw man, I can't remember what I've – HEY! GIVE THAT BACK, MALFOY!" Neville shouted. Harry and Ron jumped up, expecting Poopie to jump up with them. Poopie, however, sat where he was, watching Malfoy with an amused look in his eyes. Malfoy looked at Harry and Ron, his eyebrows raising. "Well, well, well… Potty and the Weasel. Are you going to help Fatbottom, here?" he asked.

"His name is Longbottom, Malfoy!" Harry said.

"Yes, but I also insulted you…" Malfoy said.

"And nobody insults Neville!" Ron added, drawing his wand.

"Hey! You can't go fighting people in the Great Hall!" Lemo hissed.

"Do it somewhere where nobody will see you!" Andy added.

"Have a duel tonight at midnight!" Cheesy said.

Malfoy looked at Harry and Ron. "I'm game if you are!"

Before Harry could speak, Ron spoke up. "Of course Harry's game! I'm his second! Who's yours?"

Malfoy looked at Crabbe, and then Goyle, as though trying to see who look less stupid. After about five minutes, he finally spoke up. "Crabbe is my second!"

"Fine! We'll see you and Crabbe tonight at twelve, in the empty Charms classroom", Ron said.

Malfoy and his goons left, and Harry and Ron sat down again. "So… what's a duel?" Harry asked. Lemo, Andy and Cheesy dropped their glasses of pumpkin juice.

"You don't know what a duel is!" Lemo asked.

"How stupid are you!" Andy asked. Cheesy was sobbing silently into Lemo's robes, whilst Lemo patted her back soothingly. And so, Ron proceeded to tell Harry what a duel was.

A/N – Next chapter – THE DUEL! WHOOOOOOO! Will Draco turn up? Or will he be a complete poof and not show up? I bet he'll be a complete poof. Tune in next time for The Misadventures of Poopie McGee!

CtC