A/N – Okay, I'm only updating because I'm off school sick. –shifteh eyes- No, really, I am sick. Anyways, I'm gunna do something I've never done before!

…I'm going to tell you I own Harry Potter!

…not really. I'm gunna do a review response corner!

Lemo: Yeah, nobody likes salmon, it's okay. But in this story, Andy does. SHE DOES, DAMMIT! DON'T QUESTION MY AUTHORITY! –twitch- Oh, and I dunno why that lady was crying. Maybe she had problems or something… -shrug-

Redflower Fox: I'm sorry it was too short! I was running out of time, y'see, and yeah. Well, that's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it. And YOU DIE LAUGHING! Noooo! If you DIE LAUGHING then you can't read my story! Oh, and the little thingies on my profile thingy were emailed to me by Lemo, so if you ask nicely, she might tell you where she got them from.

Andy: I know you're going to review soon, because you love me. And I love you. Awwww.

To all the other people who read, but didn't review: I LOVE YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU DIDN'T REVIEW!

Disclaimer – I don't own blah, blah, blah, blah, etc. etc. I also don't own the others. I do Cheesy, and this plot. Steal this plot, I will kill you!

…I'm not actually one hundred percent of what this plot is, though…

The Misadventures of Poopie McGee

CHAPTER 8 – A Message From Dumbles

"Y'know, Poopie, I just realized something…" Lemo said. Cheesy and Andy gasped, and Poopie raised an eyebrow.

"Is that a… bad thing?" he asked.

"Yes! Lemo never uses her brain!" Cheesy said.

"She never realizes anything!" Andy added. Lemo tried to look sad, but failed miserably, as the cards had just exploded.

"Thanks guys, that's sweet. Really", Lemo said dryly. "Anyways, no, I've just noticed that you hang out with a group of girls, and you live with Harry. And Harry seems like the possessive type. The type to get jealous when a friend makes new friends."

"Yeah, I noticed that, too", Andy commented thoughtfully.

"Did you see him throw a spasm when Ron was making friends with Neville?" Cheesy asked, trying not to laugh. "That was awesome!"

"Well, Harry is the possessive type. Before we came here, he hadn't gotten his admittance letter, but I had, and he practically told me to be a loner…" Poopie said. Lemo and Andy exchanged looks as Cheesy threw their cards in a second years face.

"FIFTY-TWO PICKUP!" she shouted, before running away.

An hour or so later, Cheesy met up with them in the Great Hall, a piece of paper in her hands. "It's a message from Dumbles!" she said excitedly.

"He's about to speak, Cheesy, so I have a feeling it's the same message…" Andy said. Cheesy looked sadly at her piece of paper,

"Oh…"

"Good evening students of Hogwarts!" Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling.

"Do you think those eyes are real?" Poopie asked.

"Dunno… they seem to twinkle a lot, don't they?" Andy said.

"When he's asleep…" Lemo said, looking maniacal, "We'll steal them!"

And so, the four friends burst into evil laughter, only stopping when Dumbledore started talking again. "Now, as some of you may have noticed, I have put messages up over the school. I see Miss Kently has one in her hands right now", Dumbledore said. The students turned to look at Cheesy, who had stood up, and was waving her piece of paper around like a flag. "I expect you're all wondering what that piece of paper says", Dumbledore continued. "Well, it merely states that flying lessons for first years will begin in a week from now. Before you –"

Dumbledore was interrupted by Lemo, Andy and Cheesy who had all jumped up, and were dancing… well actually, they were just hopping around on one leg. "WE'RE GUNNA BE FLYING!" the three girls shouted happily. "FLYYYYYYYYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNG!"

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "If I may continue, girls?"

"Oh.. um…"

"Err…"

"Go right ahead, Dumbles!" Lemo said cheerfully. "Oh, and did you get that box of Lemon Drops I sent you this morning?"

"Why yes I did, Leah. Thank you very much! I must say, I was quite surprised when I received mail from a student. Usually I just receive crap from the Ministry. It's always Fudge asking for help and crap like that."

The students were staring at Dumbledore in shock. Dumbledore cleared his throat nervously. "Err… ahem… just forget I said that…" Dumbledore said. It was clear, however, that the students wouldn't forget what he had said. So, Dumbledore did something drastic. He stripped down to his boxers.

…just kidding. Honestly, I wouldn't put that horribly mental image in people's minds! Oh wait… I already did. Anyways…

Dumbledore pulled out his wand, and muttered a spell which made everyone forget what he had said about the Ministry and Fudge. "Anyway, as I was saying, before the first years start their flying lessons, they must know a few things. No first year is to fly without a teacher present. No student is to break into the broom closet with a friend or enemy, lock the door, and get involved in some steamy sex scenes." His eyes rested on Harry and Draco when he said the last part. Both boys looked at each other, and blushed, before both looking at the table. Lemo had watched this through narrowed eyes, something snapping in the back of her mind.

XxXxXxXxXxX

"Aaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnddddddddyyyyy! Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesy!" Lemo whispered softly that night.

"What the fuck, Lemo?" Cheesy said groggily, opening her eyes. "It's fucking late at night and I want to fucking sleep. What the fuck do you want?"

"Stop swearing, Cheesy. It's bad for your health…" Andy said as she, too, sat up.

"Pfft… bad for my health my ass…" Cheesy muttered.

"Both of you shut up before you wake up the Know-it-all bitch!" Lemo said. No offence to any Hermione-lovers out there…

"Yeah whatever", Cheesy muttered. "What's up?"

"I think I have something figured out", Lemo said.

"You woke me up for that!" Cheesy said angrily, but Andy shushed her.

"What have you figured out?" she asked. Lemo shifted her eyes.

"Not here. We have some stalking to do…"

This cheered Cheesy up, as she loved stalking people almost as much as Andy loved swimming with salmon. "Let's go!" Cheesy said happily. And so, the three friends ran out of their room, out of the Common Room, and into the halls, where they saw Harry and Draco slipping into a broom closet.

Cheesy and Andy gasped, but Lemo shushed them as they moved closer to the closet door. "Draco, I can't sneak around like this anymore", came Harry's voice from within the closet.

"So what? You want to tell everyone?" Draco asked.

"I don't want to, but don't you think our friends deserve to know?"

"Quite frankly, Harry, no I don't think they deserve to know. This is what we enjoy doing! So we get to keep it to ourselves!"

"What if they find out? They'll be really pissed off!"

"Harry! Don't you ever say that again! I don't care if they're pissed off! As long as you and I are happy, that's all that matters!"

"Oh no, Draco! It spilt!"

"What? Ack! No! Quickly Harry, clean it up!"

"I can't find the cloth!"

"Then lick it up!"

"We don't know what's been on that floor!"

"Hurry up and get rid of it! It's about to go under the door!"

"Crap!"

There was the sound of shuffling, and then a gentle thud on the door. Lemo, Andy and Cheesy exchanged looks of horror. Draco and Harry let out simultaneous sighs of relief. "It's safe", Harry said.

Cheesy had started backing away from the door, and pretty soon, Lemo and Andy were following her. Before they could get to the portrait hole, the closet door opened, and two very sweaty boys stepped out. Harry waved goodbye to Draco, and started towards the portrait hole, stopping when he saw Lemo, Cheesy and Andy, all with identical looks of horror on their faces. "Wait – it's not what you think!" Harry said. Before he could say anymore, Lemo, Cheesy and Andy had entered the Common Room at lightning speed.

XxXxXxXxX

The next morning found Cheesy, Lemo and Andy in the Great Hall telling Poopie what they had heard the night before. "It was so gross!" Lemo finished, as Andy and Cheesy both took shaky drinks of their pumpkin juice. A disgusted look came across Poopie's face.

"I knew Harry had problems, but I didn't know he was gay!"

"I'm not gay!" Harry said as he and Ron walked over. Cheesy and Andy dropped their glasses of pumpkin juice, and Lemo, who felt left out, picked up her own glass, and dropped it.

"Then if your not gay, what were you doing last night!" Poopie asked. Harry cast a nervous look at the Slytherin table, before looking back at Poopie and co.

"…I can't tell you that…" he said. Poopie raised his eyebrows.

"Then I'll just go on thinking your gay."

"So will we!" Lemo, Cheesy and Andy chorused. Harry looked like he wanted to say something, but Ron pushed him further down the table, saying,

"Let it go, mate…"

The four friends ate breakfast happily, and were even happier when the post arrived. "Wheeeeeeeeee! Look Lemo! Look Andy! Look Poopie! EMU sent me some sparkles for Sparkles!" Cheesy said happily. "Oooh! And she sent me some fudge!"

"Lucky!" Andy said. "All I got was this giant box of candy…"

Suddenly, Lemo let out a loud gasp, causing Poopie, Andy and Cheesy to look at her. "What? What's wrong?" Poopie asked urgently, whilst Andy and Cheesy fanned their friend.

"I… got… POCKY!" Lemo screamed happily, holding the pocky up for everyone to see. "I LOVE YOU BOB AND MUMBOB! Don't love Piggy, though. He annoys me."

"…Piggy?" Poopie repeated.

"Lemo's brother. He's an annoying little pig!" Cheesy said.

"But he brought us ice blocks!" Andy protested.

"Piggy's are good for one thing – bringing ice blocks" Lemo said.

A/N – FINISHED THE CHAPTER! YAAAAAAAAY! I hope this was long enough for you, Redflower Fox. Honestly, my imagination just DIED! It was all like "I'm gunna die now, kay?" and I was all like "NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I dropped to my knees and everyone!

Aaaand I'm over it… hope you enjoyed reading it.

Love ya, lovelies!

CtC