Chap. 24
Right Here
(Lyrics by Staind)
It took Neuron three minutes to run to the hospital. It took less then that for the doctors to load Beast Boy onto a gurney and take him away. It took fifteen minutes for the B.R.A.T-Mobile to reach the hospital. But the end of the entire incident would take almost four hours, and the results would last for a lifetime……
"Heads up!" yelled one of the attendants as the wind swirled around her. Above the lot, the transistors whirled and hummed, lowering the B.R.A.T-Mobile to the ground. As it touched down, the doors popped open, and the car's teenaged crew spilled onto the sidewalk. The car's auto-computer switched on and it took off for the roof, barring anyone from tampering with it. But right now, no one was concerned with that. As the personal watched the Titans and B.R.A.TS run through the doors, they wondered what could have happened that would bring such heroes to the hospital. As the heroes ran through the door, they wondered only about the friend that lay inside. "Excuse me," Robin asked the woman at the registry desk. "Do you know where Beast Boy is?" "I'm sorry, who?" the woman replied, somewhat confused by the colorful name. Robin shook his head, and said, "Garfield Logan, I mean." "Oh well that sounds better. Let me check." She said, as she ran through the online hospital records. The computer hummed and clicked as the group waited in suspense. Finally, the woman said, "He's undergoing surgery in the E.R. right now, ." "What are they saying about him?" Cyborg asked.
"Nothing you'll want to hear." said a voice behind them. Everyone turned to see Neuron standing behind them. The speedster's face was pale behind his green mask, and his costume was splattered with blood. "Apparently it's worse then we thought." He continued as he started to shakily walk towards them. "His ribs splintered, and well, the chips got into his bloodstream. He's bleeding from about four different spots in his body, and,.. and…, they don't know…." But that was all he could get out, as he broke down and collapsed into sobs. He started to fall, but Sara caught him and drew him close. As the speedster wept, Sara looked back at her friends, who were all looking at each other with the same expression of fear and disbelief.
After Neuron calmed down a bit, one of the E.R staff, Dr. Xavier came out and spoke to the heroes. He confirmed what Neuron had told them, but he also said that the hospital's best surgeons were working on Beast Boy. "We're doing everything we can." He assured them. "Is there anything at all we…?" Brett asked, but Xavier, who'd heard the question several times before, gently cut him off. "At this point, all I can tell you is to pray." Xavier said. "I'll call you if there are any changes." "Thank you." Robin said absently. Xavier nodded and turned back in the direction of the E.R. The heroes moved to the waiting area, and tried to pass the time. Of course, they did not wait in a bubble, and there were people who recognized their outfits and tried to speak with them. But for the most part, those people saw their faces, realized where they were, and turned back in silence. It was a small grace, but one the group was thankful for as they sat in near silence. Occasionally, one of them tried to make conversation, but it never lasted long. All they could do was wait and pray, and that was all that they knew how to do at that moment.
An hour passed. Then two. Polar came in from delivering the HIVE Five to jail. But still nothing was heard. After three hours, Robin got up and muttered something about calling the Doom Patrol. The others nodded absently. As he walked out, Cyborg wiped his eyes in sadness and frustration. But as he felt his cold metal hand wipe across his face, he then felt a warm one catch his own. Looking over, he saw Jinx looking up at him, a wan smile on her face. He gave a small smile back, and took her hand.
"At least something good came out of this." Bartman said, as he looked over at the two of them. "I guess so." Brett said, as he stared off. "He'll get out of this Brett." Bartman said, turning to face his friend. "He's a fighter, he always has been." "I know. But he's not all I'm worried about." Brett said, as he looked over to the side. Raven sat in a chair, her hood up and her face staring down at her hands. She'd been like that ever since they entered the room, not moving, not speaking. "I need to say something to her." Brett whispered. "But I don't know what." "Maybe you don't need to." Bartman said. "What do you mean?" "I think Sara's got it covered." He said, as he motioned to the fox moving over to the empath. Brett started to get up, but after a second, he sat back down. He was not the one to talk to Raven this time, he realized. Raven was struggling with loving a person that she had never expected to love, and possibly watching that person die. Sara had been through all that and more with him. She was the right person to talk to her now. The only question now was what she would say.
I know I've been mistaken
But just give me a break and see the changes that I've made
I've got some imperfections
But how can you collect them all and throw them in my face
"How you doing?" Sara asked, as she came over to Raven. The empath didn't respond; she just kept staring at her hands. Sighing, Sara said, "I know it hurts Raven. We all do." "No, you don't." came a voice from underneath the hood. "He did it for me." "Because he loved you." Sara said. "Yes. And now he might be dying. And I never…." "Never what?" Sara asked softly. "I-I never said I was sorry. All those times I yelled at him, called him stupid, everything. I thought he was worthless at first you know. That he was just some immature kid who didn't know what he was doing and didn't see the big picture. I always thought that maybe someday he'd get himself into something like this. But he didn't. I did." Raven finished, as her broke on the last word. "Raven," Sara began. "Beast Boy chose this himself. You didn't make him… "Yes I did!" Raven cried, as her head snapped up. "I always do. I make the people who love me get hurt. You, Dad, the Titans, Azarath, everyone? Why does this always happen Mom? Why does everyone else suffer and die for my mistakes?"
But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting
Someone else would have been unable to answer to answer that question. But Sara was much more then someone else. Taking her daughter's face in her hand, she gently raised her head up. Looking straight into her hooded eyes, the fox answered, "Because you make them love you. Because they think you're worth getting hurt for. And they're right. This isn't your fault Raven; none of it has been. You didn't choose to be Trigon's daughter, and you only sacrificed yourself because you wanted to save us. You didn't let Rorek out to conquer the world; you did it because you wanted someone to love. And every time, we've chosen to save you, not because you were responsible for those things, but because you were our friend, our family. And you always will be."
"What about Beast Boy? Am I still his friend?" Raven asked. "Of course. He wouldn't have done all this if you weren't." "Maybe, but it isn't what he wants me to be." She said, looking down at her hands. "If that's true, then it's a decision you have to make." Sara said. "I know, but I just don't know. I feel like I should after today, but is that enough? Do I change everything because of one day?" "He loves you Raven. And if it's real, he'll accept whatever you decide. But you have to decide Rae. He earned that much from you today."
"Excuse me, Titans?" said a voice from the doorway. Eleven heads turned to see the figure of Dr. Xavier. Almost instantly rising up, they were by his side in almost a second. "What happened, Dr.?" Cyborg asked. "The operation is over." Xavier said. "And?" Sara asked, as her hand clutched Raven's, who clutched back. "It was a success." The doctor replied. Eleven sighs of relief were heard. "Thank God." Neuron said. "How is he?" "Well, we had to open him up pretty wide to seal his lungs and other cuts. He needed about three transfusions to stabilize, but thankfully everything went smoothly. He's resting right now, but he's still very weak." "Could we see him?" Jinx asked. "I don't know. He's still a bit medicated and we want him to get him as much rest as possible. But I suppose I could let one of you see him, if only for a moment." "Cy you should go. He's your best friend." Heatstrike said. "Maybe, but I don't think I'm the one yet." Cyborg said. "Raven, he went through all this to save you. He'd want to make sure you were all right." Raven nodded, and followed Xavier to BB's hospital room. As she left, Cyborg whispered, "Don't mess this up Rae."
She followed him through what seemed like endless corridors, the sterile hospital lights bearing down on her the whole way. As she walked, her mind raced with thoughts. What would she see when she got in there? Would he be wrapped in plaster, unable to move? Images began to run unfiltered; him with tubes in his noises, breathing through a pump. Him with his beaten face, wrapped in bandages. A thousand more came and went, too fast to really recognize. But before she could focus on any of them, she heard a voice say, "We're here. I'll stay outside." She murmured thanks, then walked in…..
"Oh God, Beast Boy." She moaned gently as she finally saw him. He was lying asleep in bed, the top of his head covered in bandages. His face was still bruised and beaten, and Raven could see a long scar running up the side of his neck. She knew instantly that it ran down through his chest. An IV bag, filled with blood, ran a tube down into his arm. Slowly, she moved in closer, until she was right next to him. Gently, she ran her hand across his face. What did he think of me to make him do this? She thought. What is it that he saw in me? After everything I said and did to him, what did he see?
I hope you're not intending
To be so condescending it's as much as I can take
and you're so independent
you just refuse to bend so I keep bending till I break
As she looked into his face, she wished she could hear those answers. But she knew that wasn't possible. But maybe she could say something to him. As she continued to stroke his head, Raven began to gently sing, the words to a song she'd heard from Beast Boy's room many times, and almost as many from her own. "You always find a way to keep me right here waiting. You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting." She sang gently, the words flowing off her tongue like a quiet brook. Then she stopped, as her eyes began to water. "Thank you Beast Boy. But I just don't know." She said, as she started to pull her hood up and turned to leave. But before she took a step, a rusty voice behind her finished the song, "And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting. Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting." Beast Boy finished, as he looked up at her.
I've made a commitment
I'm willing to bleed for you
I needed fulfillment
I found what I need in you
"Am I in heaven?" he asked softly, his voice cracking on a few words. Then seeing the IV in his arm, he said, "Guess not." "You're awake." Raven breathed as she rushed over to him, her hood falling back. "And you're ok." He said. "That's more important." At that, Raven looked down at the floor. "Where's Rorek?" Beast Boy asked. "He was torn apart when you threw the book into the fire." Raven answered. "Then everything was worth it." He said. "Beast Boy, you didn't need to do all this for me." "Yes I did. If I hadn't, I would have died too and not from Rorek's magic." He paused for a moment, drawing his breath, then said, "Raven, there's something I need to tell you, something I should have said to you before. I love you Raven. I love you more then anyone I've ever met before. I know it sounds crazy, but it's true. I know you think we're different, but we aren't. I'm as scared as you are Raven. I'm always scared that I'm going to fail, going to let someone down. I've felt that way ever since my parents died, and I couldn't save them. No one would ever know, 'cause I've learned how to hide it. And I think you have too. I think we're just the same people hiding under two different masks. And I think it's time we stopped."
Gingerly, Beast Boy took in air and looked at Raven. Her face was a mask of surprise and confusion. It was strange to see her face like that, but Beast Boy just waited for her answer. He didn't know what was going to be said next, but whatever it was, he was prepared for it. Or at least he thought he was. "I knew." She said. "What?" he asked in surprise, his face the mask now. "Starfire figured it out. She told me just before I was captured." "What did you think?" Beast Boy asked. "I was surprised. I didn't think that we could love each other. I didn't think I could love you." "I see." Beast Boy said, as his face became downcast. So that was her answer. Well, there was nothing he could do now but accept it like a man. But that was not to be. He suddenly felt a hand under his chin, pulling his face back up. He found himself looking into a pair of purple eyes. "But I think I can love you now." She said, as she gently pressed her lips into his. For a second, his eyes widened, then they shut as he reached over and wrapped his arms around her.
But you always find a way
To keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if I chose to walk away would you be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep me right here waiting