Back from holidays:) Sorry, but this chapter is rather dull... the next one will have more action in it!

Thanks to all my reviewers! if you don't review, I don't write - so please review!

merry christmas!

The next night I was almost afraid to go to sleep. What if Tristan blamed me for showing him the truth about Wenda?

I was probably worrying needlessly, but the other life I led at night was starting to become more important to me than my normal one. Tristan was quickly becoming the thing my thoughts focused on when I was bored – I couldn't help but think about him.

Tristan stood at the window in his room with me on his arm. He was stroking the feathers on my back as he stared out the window, his face strangely empty. His eyes were so obviously hurt that I wished I could comfort him with words. He turned to me and sighed.

'Thank you,' he whispered. I knew how much those words cost him. 'You showed me what she truly was.'

I chirped softly as he turned back to the window. Wenda's betrayal had hurt him very deeply, and he was quiet even for him.

'I was stupid enough to send you away,' he whispered, his hand still running down the sleek feathers on my back. 'I'll never do that again. You're free to fly as you will – but come back to me, baby. I don't think I could stand it if you left as well.'

His voice cracked slightly as he said the last. I had never expected Tristan to talk like this. He sounded desperately unhappy and alone. I reached out and touched his cheek with my beak. He smiled sadly at me.

'You're all I have now, girl,' he murmured. 'Don't leave me.'

He set his face as he looked out at the pale tinge in the sky that announced the arrival of dawn. I looked at his eyes. I could see the hardness there. He had always been distant from the others – he didn't feel as deeply as the other knights about some things and kept to himself more. But now there was something else.

Tristan didn't care any more. He didn't love anybody, didn't want to. He didn't want love or care from another person – he wanted to vent his anger and hurt on the world. And he would – he would kill and kill until his own life was taken. Then he turned to me, and I saw that I was mistaken. I was the only thing, besides perhaps his horse, that I truly cared about.

'I'm glad you're with me, girl,' he said softly.

It was then that I swore to myself that I would never leave him. Never.

A couple of nights later, and once again time had skipped forwards. I was on Tristan's arm in the tavern when Gawain mentioned their remaining length of service to Rome.

'Only two years now,' he said with a grin, taking a mouthful of ale.

So a year had passed since Tristan had taken me from the forest. He had recovered somewhat from the madness that had descended on him when Wenda had betrayed him.

I had seen what Tristan had done to Wenda – and it wasn't pretty. The Roman he had simply cut down with his sword – admittedly in a rather painful manner. But not Wenda.

He cut her hair off, so that she was as bald as an egg. Then he bound her hands together behind her back before mounting his horse. He had made her walk to the side, tied to his saddle. He knew her weaknesses, knew that shaming her would hurt her more than a quick death.

He took her to the middle of a forest thickly inhabited by Woads. They didn't show their faces when Tristan was around, but both of us knew they were close by watching us.

Tristan used his sword to cut Wenda's dress off her – removing her shoes in the process. He cut the rope that secured her to his saddle and turned his horse around.

'Wait!' she had screamed after him. 'You can't leave me here! I'll freeze!'

'Worse than that,' Tristan had muttered to me.

He didn't turn around as he nudged his horse into a canter. I took off into the air, hovering over the clearing. Wenda had flopped down on the grass having a royal tantrum – but there was no one to care for her now. She saw me through tear-clouded eyes and picked up a stone.

'Stupid bird!' she shrieked, hurling the stone at me. 'It's all your fault!'

The stone hadn't come anywhere near me. It was then that the Woad warriors made their appearance. Wenda, still in her crying fit, hadn't noticed them until they had their arrows aimed firmly at her bare chest where her heart was.

I stayed just long enough to see that she wasn't going to be able to talk her way out of this predicament before turning and searching for Tristan. He whistled and I swooped down to land on his arm. By now I had the hang of flying, and it was easy to land and take off.

'She's dead, huh?' he asked, giving me a piece of meat.

I clicked my beak and flapped my wings once. He took it as an affirmative. There was a gleam of savage victory in his eyes – something that was more beast than human. Then it was gone and his face was in its usual mask.

I chirped happily as he continued on at a canter. Finally, the business with Wenda was over.

But what I didn't know was that Tristan would never quite recover from her betrayal.

It became apparent over time that Tristan had changed. He was even more withdrawn and indifferent, hardly seeming to care if his fellow knights lived or died.

Even when Kay, one of the oldest knights died, Tristan hardly said a word. He simply watched as he was buried, his face sombre but his eyes calm. The other knights gathered in the tavern to drink and try to forget their sorrows, but Tristan didn't join them.

I remained perched on his shoulder as Tristan wandered the dark alleys of the fort. He didn't make a sound as he moved through the darkness. I glanced at his face, and couldn't help but think that he was good-looking – in a sort of dark, unwashed way.

Almost immediately I shook my head, ruffling my feathers. I didn't want to think about Tristan that way. He was more than a friend – he was someone who I couldn't help but follow.

Never before had I felt such loyalty towards anything. Even Ebony, who I was fiercely protective of, didn't stir such devotion. I would follow Tristan to hell and back – and when I say that, I mean it.

Tristan glanced at me and I saw by the slight lightening of his eyes that he was glad I was with him. He raised his arm I willingly transferred from his shoulder to his gloved hand. He paused in the shadows, leaning his back against the wall.

'I have to scout again,' he said softly, giving me a piece of salted meat. 'You coming?'

I clicked my beak and stretched my wings. He looked at me, his face blank but his eyes intense. He ran a hand down my back between my wings, and lifted his arm.

I took off into the cool dark air. I could hear the other knights talking loudly in the tavern, but Tristan was standing in the shadows watching me. His black eyes gleamed in the moonlight as I soared into the shadows of the night.

Rachel asked me a few awkward questions the next day.

'Who is this Tristan guy you talk about all the time?' she asked, her eyes alight with interest.

Have I mentioned that Rachel is one of the prettiest girls in my year level? She has hair so dark that it seems black, although in sunlight you can see that it's brown. Her eyes are a light brown flecked with green, and she has long black eyelashes.

Being her best friend is hard – I'm really plain in comparison to her, and all the guys rave about how "hot" she is behind her back. Besides which, she has an insatiably curious nature.

'He's just a man I know,' I said, hastily bending over my English work.

I had said completely the wrong thing.

'"Man"?' Rachel asked, grinning. 'Are you sure he's not too old for you?'

I shook my head in impatience. 'It's not like that,' I said irritably. 'He's…'

How do you describe me and Tristan? I couldn't very well say that I'm his half-tamed bird. For one, Rachel wouldn't believe me. She also might think that I'm completely insane. Then again, I might be. Dreaming that I'm a bird every night can't be normal.

'Will I get to meet him?' Rachel asked, not put off at all.

I shrugged. 'He's not a very social person.'

That at least was completely true. Rachel started to say something else, but just then Mr. Robertson slammed a book down on the table beside us, making her jump.

'Girls!' he barked, his flabby face rather red. 'How many times must I tell you to stop talking?'

The first time that I had ever been grateful for a teacher's reprimand. Rachel glanced at me and rolled her eyes. I grinned and went back to my essay.

Time played another of its weird tricks that night. It seemed that I had skipped forwards about half a year from when I was last with Tristan. He looked no different, but I noticed that Vanora had a new baby. How she managed to look after all ten of her children, I don't know.

'Hunt for me, girl,' Tristan said softly, raising his arm.

I took off into the air. A light rain had begun to fall, the beads of water clinging to my feathers. I glanced down at Tristan, standing in the shadows at the edge of the tavern. Bors was avoiding Vanora and Arthur was deep in conversation with Lancelot.

I soared away into the evening. The sun was setting, sending a pale glow over the land. Now was the time when rabbits would come out to feed – now and early dawn.

I hovered high over the green fields. My excellent eyesight helped me to pick out several small brown shapes far below. As one hopped away, I saw the flash of white from its tail. My human mind wondered indifferently why rabbits had white tails. It made them easy to spot as soon as they moved.

I picked a target as I drifted lower in the sky. The air beneath my wings rocked me slightly, and I dived. I kept my wings close to my body as I hurtled down. It was better than any rollercoaster ride.

I extended my talons as I neared the ground. Too late, the rabbits looked up and scattered. I flapped my wings once, altering my course slightly. Then my talons were biting deep into the flesh of the rabbit as I pinned it to the ground.

It struggled for a moment and I tore cruelly at it with my beak – then it went limp and I rose up into the sky.

Getting up is always harder than landing, but with the extra weight of the rabbit it was even worse. For a moment I thought I wasn't going to be able to get into the air – then the air lifted me up and soon I was high in the sky.

As I soared back to Tristan, I wondered at the fact that I felt no revulsion for what I had just done. Somehow, killing had become part of me –part of the bird that I am.

I shook those disturbing thoughts out of my head and slowly flew down to Tristan's waiting arm. His murmured words of praise meant more to me than anything else in the world. I clicked my beak and let him take the bloody remains of the rabbit.

'Good girl,' Tristan said in a low voice, running a gentle finger over my feathered head.

As Vanora started singing and the firelight flickered over Tristan's face, I couldn't help but wish that I could stay with Tristan forever and not have to return to my real life.