sorry for the long wait for this one. This chapter is just more rambling before the action starts. I know the bit about the tree falling is unlikely, but it was better than some ideas I had. Happy New Year, and please review!

It was annoying when time yet again skipped forward a week or so later. It seemed that now Tristan and the others only had one more mission before their freedom was granted.

I was happy for them, but at the same time worried. I looked forward every night to going to sleep because I knew I would become the hawk. I'm not sure I could bear it if it stopped – or if Tristan died. I was starting to live in fear of that.

All of the knights were still alive, although Bors had a new scar on the top of his head. Tristan too looked a little worse for wear – I saw the large gaping red cut that needed to be sewn up by Vanora. It curved over his shoulder and down his chest, an ominous reminder of the dangerous life he led.

I realised that over time, I was becoming more and more attached to Tristan. I couldn't stop thinking of him, and it makes my face hot to admit that yes, I had a crush on him.

I couldn't help it, really. He was beautiful – his face underneath the hair that obscured it had some quality that I couldn't name, but it drew me to him. I couldn't help but wish that I was human, and that he loved me – but I knew that would never happen.

For some reason, I was in a really strange mood. I just couldn't stay still – I was restless and irritable. I even snapped at Tristan – Tristan, who I held above all others. He just shrugged and went back to sharpening his sword.

I shifted impatiently, already feeling guilty. I took off out the window, feeling Tristan's dark eyes burning into my back.

I flew fast towards the sea, following the currents of air. It was a clear, cool day, and it wasn't long before the blue expanse of water was visible. But there was something wrong.

Many, many ships were beached on the pale sand – and hundreds of armoured men were assembling on the cliffs above the beach. I swooped lower, already knowing that this was nothing good.

This was one of the most remote beaches in Britain. It was likely that this army would be discovered only by Woads until they started fighting – then Arthur would send scouts out.

I went as low as I could without drawing attention to myself. The man obviously in charge was the most frightening person I had ever seen. There was no mercy or compassion in his eyes – his voice was low and hoarse, and I could easily imagine it voicing orders for torture and death.

These people weren't Woads. Dressed in leather or animal furs, they reeked and didn't blend in with the land like the natives of Britain. Saxon. It had to be.

How was I going to tell the knights? They might already know of this, but I wanted to tell them that they were close – on our doorstep.

I flew down to the beach, hovering over the waves as I were an osprey, or sea eagle. I noticed a camp had been set up in front of some of the ships – obviously a small force was staying behind to guard their longboats.

Fools, I thought. Don't they know the tide will wash them away? The water on this beach came right up to the cliffs at high tide. The ships, anchored properly, weren't in danger – but the tents and people in them would be washed away if they remained sitting on the sand.

It was then that I knew how to tell Arthur about the Saxon. It would mean getting close to the Saxon – way too close. But I had to do it. I swooped, and in one claw picked up a dagger that the man had put on the ground. The men stood in surprise, and one shouted after me as I flew into the air.

There was the twang of bows and fear shot through me – fear that I might die. I dropped low in the air, feeling the arrows miss me, but not by much. I flew quickly out of range.

I went further down the beach, then dived again. In one talon I held the hilt of the dagger – in the other I picked up a sea shell. Then I turned, and used all my speed to get back to the fort.

Tristan looked up as I flew in. He stared as I dropped my burdens on his bed, then flew to my perch and landed. It had been a long flight, and I was unusually tired. I panted heavily as he examined the dagger.

'Saxon,' he breathed, tracing the runes etched on the blade. 'Where?' He picked up the sea shell .'At the shore?'

I croaked tiredly, and Tristan looked up. Concern was written on his usually emotionless face, and he hurriedly poured water into a bowl for me. I drank gratefully, and he stroked my back.

'Do you mean they are here, girl?' he asked, his voice low. 'Are you warning us?'

I chirped and clicked my beak. Tristan held out his arm and I stepped on. He took the dagger and sea shell and left the room with me on his wrist.

'Saxon?' Arthur's voice was strained. 'Already?'

Tristan nodded and put the dagger on the table. Lancelot leant over to look at it, and scratched his chin thoughtfully.

'How do we know they're here?' he asked suspiciously. 'I know the bird brought it in, but they could be anywhere.'

Tristan put the sea shell down beside the blade. Arthur smiled slightly, and Lancelot looked at me with renewed interest.

'I swear Tristan, that bird sometimes seems more human than not.'

I fluttered my wings tiredly. All I wanted really was to go to sleep, but I didn't feel safe enough to do so with so many people around.

'I had news that a massive Saxon invasion was coming,' Arthur said wearily, sitting down. 'But they've arrived. It's too soon. I don't think we can stop them.'

I shifted slightly on the chair beside Tristan. He seemed to sense what was bothering me, and held out his arm. I stepped on, and he held me close against his chest.

'Go to sleep, girl,' he whispered. 'I'll guard you.'

I buried my head under my wing, falling into sleep with the comforting scent of Tristan close around me.

Ebony tossed her head, speeding up into a trot. I reined her in firmly, back to a walk. She snorted and her ears flickered impatiently.

We were out on the trails, and the trees around us were tossing in the high wind. It crossed my mind for a moment that today might not be the best day to ride in the forest. The wind was so strong that the trees were bending sideways, and I heard a snap as a branch broke off somewhere to my left.

Then I asked Ebony for a canter, and forgot my worries in the exhilarating rush of power and speed. I was so absorbed in riding that I didn't hear or see the tree start to fall.

Suddenly Ebony shied to the side, and I looked up. I had the awful view of a massive tree trunk falling towards me. Believe me, until you have been under a huge eucalyptus tree that's falling, you don't realise just how big they are.

Then I was hit on the head, and I was knocked off Ebony. I saw her disappear back the way we had come, and couldn't help but feel glad that she wasn't about to pay the price for my foolishness.

Then the tree fell on me, and I had never felt so much pain. For a moment of intense pain I felt bones break, I felt myself being crushed. It was not a pleasant feeling, and if my jaw hadn't been struck by a massive branch I would have been screaming. I clenched my hands, wanting the pain to stop.

My vision swam and I heard a roaring noise in my ears. Then I was gone, falling through nothing into the dark.

I tried to scream, but all that came out was a screech. I heard someone nearby leap up, but I was beside myself with fear.

I screeched again and tried desperately to move. Then I felt hands holding me, and I fought even harder, slashing with beak and claws. Someone cursed, but I didn't realise who it was.

All I could think of was the tree, crushing and so heavy. Ebony, alone in the forest. I screeched again and tried to move my arms, but I had only wings.

I had to get out. Being inside was too much like being trapped under the tree. I launched myself out the window, falling a few feet before getting my wings to work.

I flew wildly for most of the night, and when dawn finally came I had no idea where I was. I perched on a branch, exhausted both physically and mentally. What had happened?

I remembered the tree well enough. A wave of guilt and shame shot through me as I realised that I must have attacked Tristan in the night. I hadn't been able to hear his voice, and I hadn't recognised him.

I wanted to go back, to apologise, but I was lost and tired. I fell asleep.

It was midday when I woke. I was still a hawk, when I had expected to become human again. Something wasn't making sense, but I stretched out my wings and took off.

My muscles were stiff after flying all night, but it wore off after a while. With the sun to guide me, I made my way back to Hadrian's Wall. Tristan and the other knights weren't there, so I went back to his room.

He had left the window open, with food and water ready for me. I took that as a sign that he wasn't angry. I felt deeply ashamed that I had attacked him.

I ate and drank a little, then flew back out the window. My heart leapt when I saw a familiar string of horsemen, heading back towards the fort with a caravan behind them. The caravan was blatantly Roman – who else would wear bright red cloaks, such easy targets for archers?

Tristan whistled, and I flew down to perch on his arm. He gave me a piece of meat, which I ate.

'Where you been, eh?' he ran a finger down my neck. 'Where you been?'

I chirped and ran my beak through his hair, trying to tell him I was sorry. He smiled – yes, he actually smiled – and gave me another piece of meat. I listened to the other men.

'What will you do Arthur, when you return to Rome?' Lancelot asked.

'Give thanks to God that I survived to see it.' Arthur met Lancelot's eyes.

'You and your God. You disturb me,' Lancelot said. I got the impression that he was only half joking.

'You should visit me,' Arthur said. Lancelot shrugged and looked away. 'It's a magnificent place, Rome. Ordered, civilised, advanced.'

'A breeding ground for arrogant fools,' Lancelot answered, still half smiling.

'The greatest minds in all the lands have come together in one sacred place, to help make mankind free.'

'And the women?' Lancelot asked, leaning forward with his evil smirk.

Arthur laughed and Tristan rested his hand on my back. I could still feel the warmth from his touch long after he had removed it.

It was later that afternoon, when I was half asleep, that it hit me. Why I hadn't become human again.

I opened my beak to screech, but shut it again. Arthur and the knights had just raised their cups and were drinking to the lives of those who had died. Once again they were sitting at their table, the round table which Arthur insisted made them equals.

I could think of only one reason why I was the hawk, and had not become human again. It was a crazy idea, but…

Was it possible that I had died under that tree?