A/N: Yay, transducers programmed! And thus I reward myself with some wonderful angsty fic!

Maggie called in reinforcements that night, in the form of their older sister Laurie.

Laurie was hardly in the door of Alex's apartment before Maggie yanked the letter out of Alex's hands and handed it to her. "Here. Read this."

Laurie accepted the sheet of paper before she even realized what it was she was taking. "A letter?" she asked a second later, studying it. "Who still opens their letters with 'My Dear' anymore, anyway?"

"Her ex's mom, apparently," Maggie replied with a shrug, pointing to Alex.

"His mom?" Laurie echoed disbelievingly. "Why is his mom writing to you?"

"Guilt trip," Alex muttered from her seat on the couch, not looking up from her hands.

"An attempt at garnering the sympathy vote," Maggie corrected, giving Alex a quelling look. "Read it, Laur. You'll see what I mean."

Laurie eyed the letter for a few more seconds, then shrugged, cleared her throat, and began to read aloud:

" 'My Dear Alex,

I know we've met before, but only briefly, so I apologize for this sudden communication. I wouldn't have been so forward in most circumstances, but I feel that something needs to be done about the situation you and my son are in. Bobby refuses to admit it, but I can tell that he's very unhappy, and I suspect that that's because he no longer has you in his life. He seems to believe that you hate him, and I hope he's wrong, because no matter what you feel for him, he still loves you.

'He won't share with me exactly what happened between you, but he has told me that he believes he mistreated you. I tend to think he's simply being too hard on himself, because I've never in my life seen him mistreat a woman - but then, I'm his mother, so I may be just a bit biased.

'From my perspective, both as his mother and as someone who is an uninformed observer to the relationship between him and you, it seems as though he considers the act of having hurt you an unforgivable offense - one that he has punished with a self-imposed exile for the past year. His reasoning for this, or at least what part of it I've been able to get out of him, is that you no longer wish to speak to him (and, presumably, to work with him) because of his behavior; however, as I'm sure you know, my son has a tendency to take the weight of the world on his shoulders, whether it's actually his responsibility or not.

'Having said all that, let me now tell you a little about his life out here in California:

'He lives in a small apartment in the city. Although I'm unable to visit it, I suspect it's substantially less homey than my room here at the hospital, which he has decorated with everything from real sheets on the bed to family photographs on the nightstand.

'He stops in to visit with me on the way to work in the morning, then again on his lunch break, and yet again on his way home from work. More than once, he's stayed long past visiting hours at night, with a special dispensation from the charge nurses, who all say they wish he were their son. I've asked him whether he ever does anything else in his free time, but his answer is always the same: he's not interested in trying to meet people or have fun. I believe his exact words once were, "We're here so you can get treatment, Mom, not so I can make friends."

'I'm sure you're aware of how much of a loner Bobby is under the best of circumstances, so I ask you to imagine now a Bobby even more withdrawn than that.

'Worrisome, isn't it?

'Well, whether it's worrisome or not, I'm sure you're wondering why I felt that I needed to go so far as to contact you about it. The answer to that question is this: Bobby won't now, and will never, allow himself to tell you these things. He won't tell you how much he misses you or how much abuse he's been heaping upon himself for handling his departure so badly. He won't tell you that he's staying here, on the other side of the country, even though I don't need him to be here, because he believes that he would only make your life worse by returning to New York.

'He certainly won't tell you that he still loves you, but Alex . . . he's told me that he does.

'I'm not asking that you try to renew whatever special relationship you and he had in the past - I wouldn't presume, given how little I know about it - but I would like, very much, if you might at least speak to him and try to convince him to live his life, whether it includes you or not.

'Thank you for taking the time to read this letter, Alex. I hope you and yours are all well, and that you remain that way.

'Regards,

'Frances Goren'"

Laurie's voice trailed off as she finished reading the letter, and she handed it back to Alex. "Wow. Is she . . . is this stuff true?"

Alex grunted and slumped back against the couch. "I guess. Maybe. Who the hell knows?"

Her sisters exchanged a look. "Um, Alex?" Laurie finally said tentatively. "If the stuff in this letter is right, shouldn't you be, oh, I don't know . . . happy?"

"Yeah," Maggie agreed with a slow nod. "You've been telling me for a year how you feel pathetic because you still love him. So here you go - you can both be pathetic together, and live happily ever after in your own little kingdom of patheticness. We'll all wear black to the wedding and -"

"Maggie," Laurie broke in loudly. "Your sense of humor is not helping."

"Well, excuse me for trying to do something to make the poor girl actually smile once in a while!"

"Don't call me a 'poor girl,'" Alex spoke up from her seat. "Even if I don't talk, I'm hearing every word you two are saying."

Laurie sighed and dropped onto the couch next to her sister. "Alex, what's the problem here? If Maggie's right that you still love him, and now we've found out that he apparently still loves you . . ."

"Because!" Alex exploded, throwing her hands up in exasperation and jumping to her feet. "Because I loved him last time, too, and that didn't save anything. I'm sure he loved me, at least for a while, last time, too, and that didn't save anything. What the hell do you expect me to do, just forget about everything that he did to me and hope it won't happen again?"

Maggie and Laurie watched her in silence for a few more seconds, waiting to see if she had anything else to add to her rant. When Alex just fell silent and, running an annoyed hand through her hair, began to pace, Maggie ventured cautiously, "But if she's right that he hates himself for it . . . don't you think it's possible he's learned his lesson?" She paused there, but when Alex opened her mouth to speak, she rushed on. "Hold on. Listen to me, ok? You and I have been dissecting this for a year, Alex, and you know I'd like nothing better than to see him take a long walk off a short pier . . . into a tank full of piranhas that haven't been fed for a month . . . but if this thing from his mother is right . . . maybe you should think about it. It doesn't read like a mother who's just saying whatever she has to to make people think her kid is perfect."

Alex didn't reply immediately, instead shaking her head and turning to walk away. "You don't understand the way he is," she finally called to them as she disappeared into the kitchen. "I'm sure he does hate himself right now, and I'm sure he would never consciously do it again, but you're missing the huge part of the story where he didn't do it consciously the first time, either!"

"So . . . what are you going to do, then?" asked Laurie. "Are you at least going to do what his mom asked you to, and tell him to stop hating himself?"

"He knows what I think," she said with a sigh. "I already called him today, when I opened the letter, to bitch him out because I thought he put her up to sending it."

"And he didn't?" Laurie said, cautiously following Alex's path to the kitchen. "What did he say?" she asked gently, putting an arm around Alex's shoulders and attempting to lead her back to the living room. "Come on, sit down again and talk to us."

Alex sighed and allowed herself to be steered back to the couch. "He said that he'd told her to stay out of it and he didn't have any idea she'd sent me anything. I could tell he was embarrassed."

"What else?" Maggie prompted, putting her arm around Alex from the other direction as Laurie pulled her down onto the couch between the two of them. Leaning her head against her sister's, she clarified, "You said he already knows what you think. So . . . what did you tell him?"

"That I don't hate him," she said with her best attempt at a careless shrug. "We . . . talked for a couple minutes. Just about, you know, stuff. Then I had to go because me and Webster had an appointment to get to."

Laurie leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees, and studied Alex's face. "Did he sound comforted when you hung up?"

"I, uh . . ." She nervously gathered her hair back into a ponytail, then released it when she realized that she didn't have an elastic. "I don't know. I kind of hung up a little fast."

"You hung up on him?" Maggie translated. "Again?"

"Geez, Mags, it's only happened twice! You're making it sound like it's a habit of mine."

Maggie raised her eyebrows. "I'd say twice in a row is getting pretty close to being a habit."

"Bite me."

"Okay!" Laurie interrupted, deliberately overdoing the cheer in her voice. "Let's stop sniping and get back on topic, shall we?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Whatever."

She gave her two younger sisters a wry look and said in a completely unexcited monotone, "Stop, your enthusiasm is killing me."

"Guys . . ." Alex sighed. "Maybe I don't really need to do anything. I mean, it's over. It's been over for a year. He's the one who broke it off, and -"

Maggie cleared her throat pointedly. "As I recall, technically you're the one who didn't accept his apology and stopped answering his calls. You know, just so we can be exact about things, here."

Alex directed an annoyed glare at her. "Shut up. My point is, he's there and I'm here and it's not like we're going to be running into each other any time soon, so . . . why do I need to do anything about this other than call him up, say he should forgive himself, and hang up again?"

"Alex," Laurie said with a sigh, leaning closer to her, "you're in love with the guy. I'd say that's a pretty big reason 'why.' If he wants to make up, you're just cutting off your nose to spite your face if you ignore the overture."

"Ok, first of all," Alex said tightly, "no one, including his mom, has said anything about making up. That's not the issue here. And second of all, even if it were the issue, did you not hear me five minutes ago when I said that making up would be pointless, because he'd probably just do it again anyway?"

"You, my dear," Maggie announced, giving her a not-so-gentle slap on the back, "need to pull your head out of your ass. You're so totally still mad at him, but instead of admitting it, you're trying to cover it with all this false logic. You're forty years old, Alex. Stop acting like a teenager."

"Oh, I'm acting like a teenager, huh?" Alex shot back. "And how do think I should be handling this? Sighing dramatically and falling back into his arms? Calling him up and declaring my undying love? How is either of those any more mature than keeping my distance?"

Maggie heaved a sigh and pulled back to look at Laurie. "Do you want to try to talk some sense into her?"

Laurie thought about that for a second. "I don't think it'd do much good at the moment." Gentling her voice, she leaned over toward Alex again. "You've had a crazy day, hon. Give yourself some time to unwind and process all this, and then start worrying about what you think and what everyone else thinks."

Alex snorted and jerked her head toward Maggie. "Tell that to her. I'm not the one calling people names."

"No," Laurie agreed, "but you are the one who sounds like you're about three steps from a temper tantrum. And as much as we love you, Maggie and I don't particularly want to be here for that. So just . . . let it go for the night, ok? At least, as much as you can. Try to get some sleep."

"You're such a mother," Maggie told Laurie teasingly. "But she does have a point," she added, returning her eyes to Alex. "There's nothing you can do tonight except dwell on it, and that's pointless. Go to bed, take a long, hot shower, distract yourself. Relax. Tomorrow morning, I promise you, you'll have a lot more energy to deal with this kind of shit than you do now."

With a sigh, Alex let her head fall onto Maggie's shoulder. "This sucks."

"I know it does," she agreed, giving her a hug. "Men are pigs and all that, I agree, but there's nothing you can do to change that between now and when you wake up tomorrow morning."

"I guess." She managed a weak smile for her sisters. "I guess I should thank you guys for coming over."

Maggie just rolled her eyes, but Laurie waved a hand dismissively and said, "Hey, it was either this or watch basketball with Joe and his friends. Trust me, you're the lesser of the two evils. We're your sisters, Al! It's our job to do this. They'd revoke our 'big happy family' membership if we avoided it."

That got a slight smile out of Alex, and Laurie smiled back, giving her a pat on the hand. "It'll work out. Have a glass of wine, then go to bed, how's that sound?"

Shrugging, Alex dredged up another weak smile. "Sounds better than trying to figure out what the hell I'm feeling right now."

"Good girl." Extricating herself from the jumble of arms their group hug had become, Laurie stood up. "I'm really sorry, but I have to go so I can put the kids to bed. Call me if you need me, ok?"

"Ditto," Maggie said, copying the movement. "Except minus the 'kids' part."

"Your husband is a kid," Alex said with a roll of her eyes.

Maggie grinned and leaned down to give her another hug. "Yeah, well, chasing him around keeps me in shape. I'll call you tomorrow, ok?"

Alex nodded, lowering her head quickly when Laurie hugged her and she felt tears prick at the back of her eyes. Of course her sisters had to leave, she reminded herself as the door shut behind Maggie and Laurie; they both had homes and people to go take care of. She knew that. She had no right to expect them to stay the night.

It was just that she was afraid that being alone, as she was now, would mean that she wouldn't be able to get rid of her thoughts of the man who refused to leave her in peace.