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Heart of Metal

Chapter 2

The Letters Stained with Tears

Winry sat down at her desk as the moon began to rise. Yawning tiredly, she began to gather all the envelopes all together and within her reach. Once again, she fought the urge to cry as her fingers traced over the letters that spelled out her name on each of the envelopes. With shaking hands, she began to open one, the one that seemed to be dated the farthest.

Hey, Winry,

I have just passed the State Alchemist exam. I really wish I could see you right now to brag to you about it. How do you like that now? See, I told you I can do it. A lot of people said that it would be really hard. But for me, it was too easy. The exam judges were surprised to see what a great alchemist I am. Well I could easily guess the outcome, so it wasn't surprising for me, since you know that too, don't you? Well, it's night now and a little girl, Nina, is bothering me so I guess I should stop now and go talk to her. Good night, Winry. Don't worry, I won't break your automail on purpose.

Edward Elric

A State Alchemist now, how do you like me now?

Winry could not help but a forced a dry chuckle. This must be his first letter ever to her. And he did mention the girl Nina. Vaguely, she remembered something that Al told her long ago, about his brother's guilt for not being able to save a little girl. Sadly, Winry wiped her cheek and picked up another envelope and tore it open gently.

Hey, Winry,

Wow, my third letter to you already…I can't believe I'm having enough time to do as you asked. But what's the point…since I haven't sent my first one yet. But still, it makes me feel better somewhat, to be able to think like I can talk to you. I mean, I can talk to Al but…I don't feel right pouring my burdens on him since he already suffered so much because of me already. This world is full of confusion that maybe I can never understand because in everyone's eyes, I'm still a child. Just recently, I've met a woman who called herself Phantom Thief. I guess I kind of understand why she must do evil. I guess us humans will always be the same. We would always commit all these wrongdoings and sometimes would comfort ourselves by the thought that it was right, it was necessary. I wonder if that justifies my sin three years ago…Oh, well, I must go now. I'm sorry for worrying you, but I'm OK. I'm kinda happy, in fact, because I've received words on the Philosopher's Stone in a town called Xenotime. Me and Al are on our way right now (excuse the sloppy writing on the train). As soon as I get my hands on the stone, I will restore Al first thing first. I can always count on you to wait for us, right?

Edward Elric

"Silly Ed," Winry whispered, "Your brother's important, but don't you think about yourself, too?"

Winry sighed, putting down the letter and smiling bitterly. Silently, she wondered if that was his third letter, then what could he have written in his second one? Slowly, she picked up another one.

Hey, Winry,

The Philosopher's Stone turned out to be a fake. I guess that was all for nothing. But I won't give up, not with Al by my side. I hope you haven't given up on us, either, Winry. Oh, well, I've just heard words a doctor that might be able to help me, a doctor named Marcoh. I've tried to pump that bastard Roy for some information but he won't tell, so I had to go one on one with him in a match. If I win, he'd have to provide me some information on Marcoh, and keep a cat. Yeah, a cat, I guess Al haven't changed his soft heart. It turned out, actually, that neither of us won. But still, Mustang gave me some info on Marcoh anyways. I'm going to consult this doctor and find a way to restore Al, I promise. Please wait for us still, we won't be long.

Edward Elric

"Doctor Marcoh," Winry said softly. The name triggered her memory, but she could not find anything relevant in the mass of pain in her mind.

Gently, she set the letter down and picked up another one.

Hey, Winry,

My second letter to you already. I guess I'm only writing this 'cuz I'm scared to death, out here by myself on this cold porch. I know I sound like a child now but…I was about to die in there, Winry. I was about to die at Barry the Chopper's hands. All I could think about were you and Al, and how you would all get so mad and disappointed at me. I still hadn't repaid for my sin to Al and hadn't fulfilled the promise of coming back to you. I had to reassure myself that this wasn't the end, but still…when Al came to save me, I was so scared I struck him at the chest plate. You saw me, right? It scared me to think what would happen if Al wasn't the armor…But Winry, I know I sound enthusiastic about being a dog of the military before, but now, I'm not so sure. Did I…make the right choice? The people shunned and hated me and kicked me out to the porch. And now…all I could do is sit here and…Wait, I'm sorry, I don't mean to worry you with my problem. But I guess…if anything can lead to the hope of saving Al, I can be assured that it is the right choice. Even if I'm a dog of the military, you'll still wait for me, right, Winry?

Edward Elric

"I'll wait forever no matter what, you silly Alchemist," Winry said through tears.

Setting down the letter, she ran a hand across her cheeks again, feeling the wetness sting across her palm. Lowering her head, she began to wonder if she should read on. On the inside, she had always known the brothers' journey was going to rough and difficult, but she had never imagined it in details like this. And she never knew anyways, since Ed never called her or told her about anything that he had to endure that suffer through. But now…reading these letters, it felt like she was reading off the depth of his tortured mind.

Fingers trembling, she picked up another envelope and tore it open more forcefully.

Hey, Winry,

Winry, I'm sorry, but we're coming back to you. Wait, it's not what you think. I did meet with Dr. Marcoh, I did have a lead, but nothing had been solved. So that's not the reason I've decided to come back. The truth is…me and Al have busted ourselves real bad and are in need of your and Granny Pinako's handywork right now. I'm sorry to disappoint you. But our journey is just gonna be a little longer, please be patient.

Winry…I do have something to tell you. Dr. Marcoh told me something about the Ishbal Rebellion. During the massacre, there was a pair of…Never mind, forget I said that. Just be waiting for us, OK? I'll be there real soon to wait for a wrench on my head.

Edward Elric

"So he failed," Winry said, folding the letter again, "I wonder what he wanted to tell me about the pair of…?"

Winry sighed, and suppressed the thought since her heart already had a vague idea of what it was. Brushing it aside, she randomly chose another letter.

Hey, Winry,

I wanted to call you, but I guess I'll write first to get my thoughts down so I will know what to say better. So you won't yell at me for my clumsy words over the phone, I guess. I hate making you mad, Winry. I know you put your heart and soul into automail and I hate it when you have to see me break it so carelessly every time. But believe me, I always try my best. So yeah, me and Al have gotten ourselves into some trouble again. Not to worry, please, it's not too serious. But it's just…my automail just stopped functioning and…I'm kinda bedridden right now. I'm really disappointed. I was one baby step away from the truth to bring Al back the happiness he deserved…but I couldn't…I wasn't able to do it.

Anyways, could you come to Central, please? Just don't lecture me too hard.

Edward Elric

"Bedridden, eh?" Winry smiled humorlessly, "Oh, it's that time when he got hurt because of my careless mistake…"

Crying silently again, she dearly wished she could turn back time so she could have done a better job on his maintenance. If she had, he would not have to get hurt so bad. Shaking her head, she chose another letter.

Hey, Winry,

You've left us for about two days now and we're still here, working hard to obtain the secret of Ishbal. I guess I'm glad that you've left because things are going really crazy these days. The military is here, armed to the teeth, and I'm afraid another Ishbal Massacre will occur. Al made an interesting friend named Marta. She's a chimera, an advanced one. But to me, it doesn't matter. She's still human like the rest of us. I heard Scar is planning something in Lior, and I'm going to find out what. As if we don't have enough to cope with, there's also a new Alchemist among our midst, the Cobal Alchemistt. He's an idiot who seemed to be in alliance with the Ishbalians, by the way, saying that he will protect them from the military. I don't understand, though, because Alchemy is the Ishbalians' hated taboo. Why would someone with Alchemy want to protect the Ishbalians? Or maybe this person has a good reason or he just has a good heart? Humans are so hard to understand, Winry.

Edward Elric

"The Cobalt Alchemist?" Winry whispered, her eyes written with fear, "Could he have something to do with Ed's death?"

Putting the letter down, she began to slowly realize with numbness in her heart that she never really know the cause of Ed's death. When Al broke the news, both of them were in an equal state of shock to be able to sit down and talk about it, so therefore, she did not have her chance to ask Al to tell her the whole story. But then again, Al might not want to talk about it yet as the death was still a new flesh wound in his soul.

Silently, she chose another letter. However, her hand was shaking real bad this time because the writing on the envelope looked too red and crusted to be real ink. With quivering fingers, she opened it up. Just as she suspected, the letter inside was written with the same dark, red substance. And unlike the other letters, this one was written so sloppily that she almost couldn't read it.

Hey, Winry,

First thing first, I'm sorry if this letter scares you…yeah, like I'd ever send it. But anyways, I don't wanna worry you but since you know what this ink I'm writing with is already, might as well let you know before you put two and two together. Yeah, I'm kinda hurt, and where we are right now, there's not enough bandages to spare for me. I've used my own clothes to try to stop the bleeding but it's not enough, still. This place does not have any pen or paper, either. Paper I can transmute from some wooden pillars around but to make a pen out of nothing…I don't know about that. Where am I, you wonder? You probably already know 'cuz of my previous letter. Yeah, in the city Lior. I'm here to investigate on what Scar is planning, and also, I'm hoping to stop the military advances in Lior. I have a pretty good idea of what Scar is planning and I'm not going to let anybody be the ingredients to some greedy plan. Good thing, though, the Ishbalians, including Rose, already escaped through the secret route. Oh, did I mention Rose? Sorry, I guess I don't talk about her much. Honestly, there's not much to say, not be rude to her or anybody, but it's been so long since we last saw each other, I'm not sure we're both the same people anymore. I guess she did mean a lot to me, but now I was willing to let her go. I told her that I wouldn't play the part of a hero so she shouldn't depend on me to protect her. At this point, I guess I was willing to let anything go. I've become blind with anger and frustration at my helplessness.

You probably are wondering why I'm hurt right now. Well, I was helping the Ishbalians escape and just as my rotten luck would have it, Cobalt boy saw me and knew I was one of the dogs. And of course, without listening to reasons, he charged and we fought. I didn't wanna do anything rash 'cuz there were people nearby, I don't wanna hurt anybody by accident. Cobalt boy was all out, and he didn't care what he hit. It was Rose that had to jump in and save me. It's funny how Cobalt boy listened to her. He left me, with a cut on my left side that almost pierced to the other side. Oh, sorry, didn't mean to be so detailed. But I'll be OK, don't worry. He said if I still lingered here then by next day, I'd be dead. I don't care, I have to stay here and make sure the military don't advance further.

I want to be honest with you, Winry (and let's hope it's not the last). Your parents were killed in the Ishbal Massacre, and because of that, I refuse to let another massacre take place, not if I can help it. I'm taking shelter at a nearby house right now. I heard the military will advance into the city later tonight so I'm getting myself ready now. Al is coming along with them to see me, I just know it. I told him to stay still back at base but I guess his concern will force him to march over here and lecture me like he was older. Anyways, I better go. I'm hearing orders and commands shouting at each other outside.

Wish me luck, Winry, and let's hope I can write another letter to you. If I don't…tell Al…What am I saying? Forget it, I'll be back to write another one, OK? In the meantime, treasure this, it's my blood, you know.

Don't worry, I'll always return, 'cuz you'll always be waiting, right?

Edward Elric

"Oh…Ed…" the letter slipped from Winry's trembling fingers as she broke down completely. Burying her face in the stack of letters, she cried until her tears stained the ink and dampened the papers.

The moon in the sky shone through the window, and night rolled by as if the world was oblivious to everything.

"Ed…" she whispered into her trembling arms, "Ed…rest in peace…maybe you've really…found peace at last…"