Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist…If I do, Edo would sooooooooo be mine!
Heart of Metal
Chapter 3
Where Will You Go?
Gentle rays of sunlight hit through the opened window, waking up the girl who was deep in a troubled sleep. Raising her head up from the table, she stretched slightly and leaned back in her chair. Groaning, she put a hand on the small of her back, trying to even out the aching radiating within her spine. In front of her, the pile of letters was still scattered, some torn opened to the light, some still sealed shut like a forbidden secret. Last night, she was only able to go through so much of them before she cried herself to sleep.
Suddenly, the phone rang. Usually, it wouldn't have startled her so bad. But the morning air was tranquil, calm, and on top of that, it still carried a fragment of the leftover heartache from last night. Almost falling off her chair, Winry stumbled over to the phone.
"Hello," she said, her voice hoarse and raspy, "Rockbell Automail."
"Winry?" a soft, gently voice spoke at the other line, "It's me."
"A-Al?" Winry asked, surprised without knowing why. Perhaps she had not expected him to call so soon, perhaps she had expected him to spend more time grieving over his brother's death.
"Yes, it's me," Al answered, "Winry, listen…"
"Al," she interrupted him, "Where will you go?"
"Huh?" he asked.
"I mean…" she began, "Now what will you do, you know? Where will you go?"
"That's what I'm trying to tell you, Winry," he said, "I'm going to continue the journey that me and Brother started. I'm going to pick up the fragments he left behind for me."
"N-No, Al," she almost shouted into the phone, "You can't. It's too dangerous. You know, you can come live with us. We've always loved you and we would accept you no matter what. You don't have to restore yourself."
She knew she was speaking quick and forceful, but with the state of pain and panic that she was in, it was least likely that she would have spoken in any different way.
"But, Winry…" he protested.
"No, Al," she said, "I can't bear losing you, too."
"I know that, Winry," he replied sadly, "I know."
"It'll be more dangerous by yourself, too," she reasoned, "When you both were together, I had faith that you will always look out for each other. But Al, now you're gonna have to do this by yourself, are you sure?"
"I've made up my mind, Winry," he said firmly, "I'm going to find the truth out there. I'm not going to let all that effort that me and Brother worked for go to waste. It'd all be for nothing if I give up now."
"Al," she began, "Why do I have the feeling that you…?"
"Have another ambition in mind?" he laughed dryly, "Can't hide anything from you, can't I?"
"Not when you two were little kids," she smiled slightly, "And not even now."
"Yes, I do," he admitted honestly, "I wanted to search for a way to…"
There was a long pause.
"…bring Brother back," he continued.
"What!" Winry nearly dropped the phone.
"Let's not discuss on this," Al said dismissively, "You won't be able to change my mind, Winry."
"I-I know," she said feebly.
"Sorry, Winry," he said, "For all that we've done. And thank you, too, for everything. Say goodbye to Granny Pinako for me."
"W-Why?" she asked, "Won't you return?"
"I'm not sure," he said quietly, "And I don't want to. I don't want to return until I'm reunited with Brother again."
"Ed…" she began, "Ed died protecting you and everyone, didn't he?"
"H-How did you know?"
There was a humorless chuckle.
"It just sounds like something he would do," Winry replied.
"Yeah," Al said quietly, "He was able to take out the Cobalt Alchemist and stopped the military invasion into Lior. He stumbled out, barely conscious, after the defeat of the Cobalt Alchemist, warning the military at the front lines to stop advancing further. He told them…"
A choked sob sounded at the other line, and Al stopped for a minute.
"He told them about Scar and his plan for the Philosopher's Stone," he continued again, "When nobody believed him and continued to move forward, he had no choice but to make a barrier, blocking the military unit from the city. Just then, Scar activated the stone and the city exploded with a bloodred color. Luckily, we were all safe because of the large barrier that Brother was putting his last ounce of energy into."
"Scar…" Winry whispered, wiping a trail of tear off her cheek. For some reason, the name sounded familiar yet so distant. Or was it because her brain was too numb with pain to think straight?
"Of course, when it was all over, Scar lost his right arm," Al went on, "Brother put down the barrier and the shocked military units advanced forward slowly into the piece of barren Earth that used to be Lior. Scar was lying there, with his right arm missing. His chance of survival looked really low. The Philosopher's Stone was nowhere to be found, though. The unconscious body of the Cobalt Alchemist was gone as well, and we all assumed he was used as part of the stone's ingredient. Still, investigations are being made by the Investigation Department. As for Brother…"
Winry swallowed heavily as Al took a longer pause.
"As for Brother," Al began, his voice suddenly echoed hollowly, as if he was trying hard to tell the story with the least emotions portrayed possible, "After he pulled down the barrier, his energy was all spent. He shouldn't have done so in the first place because his body was already abused with all the fighting, injuries, and exhaustion. But he didn't listen to me, of course. At that moment, he simply stared at me. It was scary, Winry. His expression almost portrayed happiness, but at the same time, it was almost…regretful. But then, I didn't have too much time to observe him because he was in dire need of medical care.
"He simply collapsed. I caught him and let him lie in my arms…"
At that, Winry's mind began to whirl out of focus as the image of the night of four years ago came back to her. The rain was pouring mercilessly and Al suddenly appeared at her doorstep like the demon that emerged out of the night. In his arms was the fragile body of the childhood friend that she grew to love. That night, she had thought nothing could scare her worse than this. And now, here she was, wrong.
"…ironically, for once, I was glad I couldn't feel,"
"Huh?" Winry asked, snapping back to reality and realizing Al was still talking to her.
"His blood, Winry," Al explained, thinking Winry didn't know what he was talking about, "His blood poured all over my armor and through my fingers. I don't want that feeling, Winry. It was terrible. Sitting in a sticky puddle of your only family's blood."
"I'm sorry…" she said, not knowing what else to say for a lump of fear was also forming at her throat.
"Brother had always been stubborn, hadn't he?" Al laughed hollowly, "He never listened. I screamed at him to hold on, and that he'll be at a hospital soon. But he wouldn't listen. The last thing out of his lips was an apology before he stopped breathing in my arms. But his eyes…Winry, his eyes refused to close, as if he regretted leaving this world and still wanted to look at it, even in death."
"Maybe…" Winry began, "Maybe it was you he was trying desperately to look at. Ed loves you, Al. And even in death, he never wanted to take his eyes off you."
"I shook him lightly at first, then harder…" Al continued, his voice breaking, "But then I realized it was time I let him go. And it was also time for him to let go. I told him I love him and we'll see each other again someday. Only then would he close his eyes after I ran my hand over his face."
"At least…" Winry suppressed a sob, "At least you had your chance to say those three words to him, Al."
"But I'm…" Al said, "But still, why couldn't I say it more straight out to him when he was alive?"
"He knew it all along, Al," Winry said softly, "There was no need. I mean, you were always looking out for him. But for me…"
"Brother loves you, Winry," Al blurted out suddenly, as if he felt that if he didn't say it now, there will be no other time.
"What?" she asked, surprised.
"He always talks…" he began, but suddenly stopped, "…always talked about you to me, Winry. I can just tell."
"I-I never knew," her hands began to shake and the phone was threatening to slip out of her sweaty palm.
"Brother never tore his heart to the world," Al said, "He never laid his feelings out for any stranger to see. No, not just strangers, even family."
"Oh, damn," Winry began sobbing harder, no longer able to control her tears, "He was…he had…"
Al waited patiently for Winry to calm down.
"That shrimp!" Winry shouted, her voice was mixed between anger and sadness, "That shrimp had so much in front of him! He had many people waiting and supporting him. How could he do this?"
Her hand tightened around the phone, afraid she might drop it. Slowly, her palm began to ache from the unbearable grip.
"Now the pipsqueak will never grow…" Winry said, her voice slowing down to a dull, aching whisper, "…He will always be a shrimp now, won't he?"
There was a long silence between them, as if both of them were waiting for Ed to rise from the dead and get upset over him being called short. When nothing happened, Winry let out another choked sob.
"Winry…" Al began, though he really did not know what to say.
"Al," Winry said softly, "Please, promise me something."
"Anything," Al said without hesitation.
"Please," she began, "Please, if you're going to travel, please take care of yourself. I-I can't stand losing you, too, Al."
"Winry," Al whispered, then replied quickly, "Of course. I won't die, Winry. Nothing will happen to me until I can find a way to help Brother."
"And please don't do anything unreasonable, either," Winry said firmly, "Like giving up your life to bring him. I-I know that as much I want him to be alive, he wouldn't want you to die for him and he'll just reverse the process again, Al."
"I know that, too, Winry," Al relied, "I will find another way for Brother, I promise."
"And…" she said quickly, before he could say the word of farewell, "…Remember to come back sometime."
There was a long pause.
"Of course, Winry," Al replied finally, his tone heavy as if uncertainty had taken a dwelling in his throat.
There was another pause.
"Winry," Al said slowly, "I-I also have a favor to ask of you."
"Yes, go ahead," she said.
"B-Brother's body," he stuttered, his voice quivered, "Brother's body will be sent back to Rizenbul."
"I see," she nodded, immediately understanding why.
"Please, Winry," he asked, "Can you take care of the funeral service for Brother? I know he would want to be buried next to Mom."
"I-I know," she nodded again, though he could not see.
"I'm sorry I won't be there," he said timidly.
"It's quite all right," she shook her head slowly, "It's quite all right. Me and Granny will mourn twice as hard to make up for you."
There was an uncomfortable pause. Perhaps Winry's comment was meant to be funny. However, they both knew nothing will make up for Al's absence, and therefore, nothing was funny.
"Good bye, Winry," Al said at last, his tone slightly rushed.
"A-Al," Winry said quickly.
"Yeah?"
"Good luck," she said gently, "And good bye."
"Thank you, Winry," he said, his tone had also turned soft and quiet.
They both gripped the phone tightly, neither wanted to hang up just yet. Then suddenly, Winry breathed in sharply to suppress more tears and slammed the phone down on the receiver. Turning towards the window, she bit her lower lip hard as the tears began to pour like river despite her effort. Outside her window, a couple of bluebirds were singing atop a tree branch. For them, the world was still a vast blue sky with happiness awaiting.
Collapsing onto her chair, Winry did nothing but to stare forward at the innocent bluebirds and let her tears flow.
