Well, we're getting close to the end now - only a few more chapters to go. thanks, as always, to my WONDERFUL reviewers - chocolate to all of you!

also, i noticed a while ago (but forgot to mention it) that i've used two of my reviewer's names in the story - Jenny and Rachel. you guys don't mind do you? if you do, tell me, and i'll change it. but anyway, hope you all like this one.

Although it was only lunchtime when Tristan kissed me, it seemed that by dinner everyone in the fort knew about us. I suspected the eldest of Vanora's daughters had told her parents, who of course had told everyone – a girl of about thirteen who blushed when I looked at her.

When I went down to dinner, Lancelot wolf whistled and Galahad clapped me on the back. I blushed furiously as Tristan pulled me onto the seat next to him. Gawain watched me out of twinkling blue eyes, smiling in a satisfied way as Galahad grudgingly handed him two gold coins.

I ate listening to the knights joke and talk. I was very aware of Tristan next to me, constantly turning his head to look at me. Once I met his gaze – I blushed as he smiled slightly and went back to eating.

It was odd really – I wasn't sure how to behave with him now. Before it had been easy once we had sorted out that first argument, but now it was different. I wasn't just his hawk any more.

Was I a bird, truly? I couldn't get the idea out of my head. If I truly were a hawk, then my time on this world was short. Birds don't live that long – but in a strange way I was comforted by the thought of my death close ahead of me. I didn't want to be left without Tristan in this world.

Time passed, and Tristan and I grew closer. His kisses were like a fire in a dark night – the bright spots of my life.

But the land wasn't peaceful yet – there remained small factions of rebels throughout Arthur's kingdom, and there were always bandits that needed hunting.

Every time that Tristan left, I worried that he wouldn't come back. He didn't want me coming with them, even as a hawk – he thought it was way too risky, even in bird shape.

When he ordered me to stay behind, I felt little guilt at transforming and flying after him. But when he had asked me, as a favour to him to stay behind, I found it impossible to refuse.

And so it was then that I learnt archery – I was so bored and worried that I asked Jols for a bow and arrows. He found an old bow for me that was small enough for me to bend with only a little trouble.

At first I practiced alone, just shooting arrows again and again until my aim began to improve – at least my arrows no longer missed the target regularly, although the occasional one did go astray.

It wasn't something I learned over night; it took weeks of practice before I could even be classed as a mediocre archer. When Tristan learnt what I had been doing, he started to teach me. Even with his excellent guidance – he was patient, firm and encouraging – it was two months before I managed to get three arrows, one after the other, clustered in the middle of the target.

That was how time passed – me worrying and shooting, Tristan riding and killing. Until one day I could stand it no longer.

I shape shifted, feeling my dress fall away and with it all my problems. I was free… free to fly, free to hunt, free to find Tristan.

I was a little clumsy getting into the air, after all it had been quite a while since I had last shifted. But flying through the cool air of dawn was exhilarating, and oddly calming.

It was midday before I felt the effects of my shape change. I hunted, eating bloody raw rabbit as happily as I ate cooked meat. It was early afternoon when I found the knights and Arthur making their way back towards the fort, slightly bruised and bloody but otherwise unhurt.

I circled in the air above them, planning to swoop down and surprise Tristan – but he glanced up as I dropped lower. He gave a slight smile as he shook his head, but he held out his arm for me to land, which I did.

'I suppose you'll never willingly stay behind, will you?' he said softly, teasing me.

I nipped his finger gently as he stroked the soft feathers of my head. He smiled again as Gawain laughed.

'Aderyn's more hawk than human, Tristan,' he said, drawing even with Tristan. 'She'll never be tamed.'

Tristan shot him a glance that said clearly that the blonde knight didn't know what the hell he was talking about. Gawain laughed again and trotted forwards to catch up with Galahad and Bors.

'I wouldn't want to tame you,' Tristan whispered, caressing my head with a gentle finger.

I chirped, then settled more comfortably on his gloved hand. I was tired after shape shifting and flying. Tristan realised I was sleepy, and held his arm so that I was close to his chest.

'Go to sleep, little one,' he whispered. 'I'll keep you safe.'

I tucked my head under my wing, secure in the knowledge he would protect me from anything. I fell asleep close to his chest, as I had done so once before – long ago, before he knew that I was human.

I lost track of the time that I spent at the fort, but it was at least half a year before an even of some significance occurred.

I loved my hawk shape, and would never give it up – but it had its price, and using it was expensive. I accompanied the knights on a long mission, staying in my hawk shape for more than two weeks. This was no strain in itself; with Tristan nearby, I was content. But when I changed back in my room, and glanced in the mirror, I had to shut my mouth firmly to hold back a scream.

Once again, it seemed, the gods were enjoying playing with me. I had aged – again.

Truly, it is one of the most shocking things that can occur, and it left me shaking and white. I was now about twenty-eight, give or take a year. I was glad Tristan was away on another scouting mission – I didn't want him to see me pale and shivering.

I cried, although I'm ashamed to admit it. In fact, I spent the night sobbing silently into my pillow. It's one thing to age properly, but to have years taken away in the course of two weeks was hard. They were years I had never lived, years I had lost off my life.

Only one thought gave me a little comfort – I was close to Tristan's age now, I wouldn't die long after him. I honestly don't think I could survive his death.

Vanora coped with my sudden aging without drama – instead she comforted me, putting an arm around my shoulders and giving me a cup of tea.

'You know what, love?' she said gently to me. 'You should see Merlin. If anyone knows what to do now, it's him.'

I nodded, and at midday I rode out. Arthur had told me he was nearby, in a forest. The Woad soldiers would take me to him once they found me.

Which they did very quickly.

They took me to their camp, keeping their weapons close by. Under Arthur's rule the two peoples had reached a truce, but trust would take time to build up.

Merlin didn't seem surprised to see me, and once again I felt the aura of his power as I was ushered into his hut. He ordered the guards to leave – I was no threat to him.

'Well, Aderyn,' he said in his slow, knowing voice. 'I have been waiting for you. I knew you would come.'

I nodded. 'Yes, sir.'

He waved a hand. 'Call me by my name. I will not stand on Roman formality. Tell me your troubles.'

I nodded again. 'Yes, Merlin. I took hawk shape for two weeks, and when I changed back I had aged again. Why does this happen? Is it because birds have shorter lives than humans?'

Merlin nodded calmly. Did he ever make a movement that wasn't slow?

'Your guess is correct, Aderyn. You are part bird, no matter what shape you take. And you will age faster than other people – as fast as a bird ages. Yet you are not saddened by this as much as may be expected.'

I met his eyes. He could read people as easily as I could read a book. I answered truthfully – if I lied, he would know.

'I don't want to be left in this world without Tristan, Merlin. If he dies… well, I don't want to imagine life without him.'

He nodded, dark eyes unreadable. 'If it is any comfort, your time on this world without Tristan will not be long.'

It was somewhat chilling, to hear Merlin talk of my death – and Tristan's – with such composure and so little compassion. I nodded.

'It is – in a kind of cold way.'

Merlin nodded once. 'The only way to prevent this sudden aging is by staying as a human. If you don't take hawk shape, you won't age like one.'

I sighed, weary beyond measure. I just wanted life to be simple – what had happened to the days when all I had to worry about were school and Ebony?

I had thrown them away when I decided to stay with Tristan. And I would stay with Tristan – even if it meant not taking bird shape. I could do that for him.

'Thank you, Merlin,' I said, meaning every word. 'If there is anything I can pay you with-'

He shook his head once. 'You have been given a hard path by the gods, young hawk. I will do all I can to help, but your life won't be easy. I wish you good fortune.'

I knew a dismissal when I heard one. I bowed my head, stood and left – but I'm sure I heard him say something as I went out.

'Your life has been hard, but the end is near – and perhaps that is the greatest fortune of all.'

What did he mean? Was my death near? And why would my death be fortunate?