"I'm still surprised Peg let you keep that cheesy mustache, Beej." Hawkeye
said, popping popcorn into his mouth. The group had gone to Angelo's, one
of the best restaurants in town. The women had gone to take Erin to the
bathroom, so the ex-Swamprats were alone.
"Hey, don't make fun of my mustache, pal, it's got a lot of memories attached" BJ said with mock anger in his voice.
Hawkeye grinned slyly, "Oh yeah. Which ones, The time we kept pulling tricks on Winchester, you denied helping and I got blamed so Charles and I got together and put a sleeping you in the nurses' tent naked or the time you were forced to listen to Charles' 'Dead Children's Glee Club record because you couldn't leave the SWAMP and your trick to get Margaret and Charles mad at each other so Margaret wouldn't loan Charles her record player backfired?"
BJ grinned back "Nope, it's a memory of the time I made you sing 'You're the Tops' without your bottoms."
The two men sat there, smirking at each other, and that's how Peg, Erin and Margaret found them when they returned from the bathroom. Erin pulled on her mother's sleeve, "Why are Daddy and Hawkeye staring at each other like that?"
"I.uh.don't know, do you Margaret?" Peg stuttered. There were few times she saw her husband look like all of them were when Hawkeye was with him, but she was still surprised when she saw that look. It was always strange to think Hawkeye knew a different BJ then she did.
Margaret laughed "Nothing to worry about, Peg. Knowing these two, they were trading sarcastic comments, but since they haven't said a word since we arrived, which for both of them is very odd, they're all done now"
"Right in one, darling." smirked Hawkeye, never looking away from BJ. Both men weren't blinking. Suddenly the two men burst into peals of uncontrollable laughter, causing looks from all the restaurant-goers around them.
"What were we laughing at, Hawk?" asked BJ, wiping tears of laughter away from his eyes.
"I don't even have the vaguest idea. And I don't even want to know!!" shrieked Hawkeye, his laughter starting up again, starting BJ's again. Margaret and Peg looked at each other, rolled their eyes, and sighed.
BJ's laughter stopped. "Hawk.did you just call Margaret, 'darling'.?"
"What, you got a problem with that, buddy? That what I want to call a close friend of mind, OK? Do you want me to still keep calling you 'BJ' or do you want me to start calling you by your given name 'Benito Jehosifat'. That is your real name, isn't it? No, can't be, you're not Spanish. You wouldn't tell me in Korea, but now I beg of you. I need to know. WHAT DOES 'BJ' STAND FOR!!!" screamed Hawkeye, causing more stares.
BJ smirked wickedly at his old friend "Anything you want."
"BJ dear, what do your initials stand for? I don't think you ever told me." Peg remembered
"You never even told your wife, BJ?" Hawkeye said, traces of mock surprised looks on his face "And I thought you were the most devoted family man in the world. You have to tell your wife, BJ. I'm surprised and shocked you didn't. Or at least tell me. I thought I was your best friend, Beej. You tell me everything. Well maybe not everything. Just tell me this one thing. Pretend I'm on my deathbed or something. Just tell me. WHAT DO YOUR DAMMED INITIALS STAND FOR!!!" Hawkeye ranted. BJ's grin grew more devishly
"You're not dying you don't even have a cold!" teased BJ
"AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!" screamed Hawkeye "JUST TELL ME, DAMMIT!!!"
"Ignore my crazy, ranting and raving friend over here." BJ grinned to the staring people in the restaurant.
"My ranting gets raves" sneered Hawkeye sarcastically.
"To change the subject." started Margaret, not wanting to cause more of a scene then they already had.
"Good idea, Margaret" said BJ, still chuckling. He stopped "Why are we here?"
"To celebrate our arrival, of course." laughed Hawkeye "To celebrate the fact Hawkeye Pierce and Margaret Houlihan are in Mill Valley, California, with good friends, having good times, and remembering old good ones."
"Aah, of course." nodded BJ knowingly ".why are we really here?"
"What you don't like my story?" asked Hawkeye innocently
"That's just it, it's a story"
"Well the reason we're here.cannot be divulged until another date, place, and time, or until I feel like telling it, whichever comes first. Anyway, to change the subject, yet again, I want to ask the beautiful Miss Erin Hunnicut if she would like to accompany me on a walk around the plaza. Whaddya say, Erin?"
"OK" Erin answered and jumped off her chair. The two walked off. BJ turned to Margaret "What do you know about his." He motioned toward the door Hawkeye and Erin had just disappeared out through ".more erratic than usual behavior?"
"Absolutely nothing. Hawkeye's acting crazier than usual. I have no remote clue what he's talking about. He's acting crazier than usual." Margaret protested.
"As long as I have known you, you have never repeated yourself and you just did" pointed out BJ "Spill it, Houlihan, what do you know?"
"Nothing" Margaret protested "The only thing I know is.I have to use the restroom, excuse me." And she started to walk off
"You just went!" Peg said. Either Margaret was out of earshot, or she chose to ignore BJ and Peg, no one ever knew, and she continued walking towards the bathroom. BJ and Peg gave each other blank stares as Margaret walked off. Margaret, Hawkeye, and Erin didn't re-appear until the meal was served. All during the meal Peg, BJ, and Erin kept trying to ask Hawkeye and Margaret what was going on, but every time they turned to one, the one had food in his or her mouth. Then they would turn to the other one and the same thing would happen. Everyone finished their meals at the same time. BJ and Peg were about to ask them again when both Hawkeye and Margaret pushed their chairs back and got up at exactly the same time, Margaret muttering something about taking a walk and Hawkeye about the bathroom.
BJ and Peg looked at each other before looking at Erin "What do you know about this?" they both asked the little girl at the same time
"Nothing. I swear. Hawkeye wouldn't tell me either!"
Just like dinner, when their desserts appeared, so did Hawkeye and Margaret. Also as they did at dinner, Hawkeye and Margaret took bites at alternating times with BJ and Peg looking from one to the other. After dessert, BJ and Peg prepared to wrestle Hawkeye and Margaret to the ground if they tried to leave again, but surprisingly, both stayed right where they were.
"What the heck is going on with you two?" asked BJ, who was rather annoyed, and would have probably said something stronger, had Erin not been there.
"Well." said Hawkeye, while the busboy was clearing their dessert plates. He looked at Margaret. She looked at him. The time had come.
"We're getting married!" both Hawkeye and Margaret blurted out at the same time.
"Hey, don't make fun of my mustache, pal, it's got a lot of memories attached" BJ said with mock anger in his voice.
Hawkeye grinned slyly, "Oh yeah. Which ones, The time we kept pulling tricks on Winchester, you denied helping and I got blamed so Charles and I got together and put a sleeping you in the nurses' tent naked or the time you were forced to listen to Charles' 'Dead Children's Glee Club record because you couldn't leave the SWAMP and your trick to get Margaret and Charles mad at each other so Margaret wouldn't loan Charles her record player backfired?"
BJ grinned back "Nope, it's a memory of the time I made you sing 'You're the Tops' without your bottoms."
The two men sat there, smirking at each other, and that's how Peg, Erin and Margaret found them when they returned from the bathroom. Erin pulled on her mother's sleeve, "Why are Daddy and Hawkeye staring at each other like that?"
"I.uh.don't know, do you Margaret?" Peg stuttered. There were few times she saw her husband look like all of them were when Hawkeye was with him, but she was still surprised when she saw that look. It was always strange to think Hawkeye knew a different BJ then she did.
Margaret laughed "Nothing to worry about, Peg. Knowing these two, they were trading sarcastic comments, but since they haven't said a word since we arrived, which for both of them is very odd, they're all done now"
"Right in one, darling." smirked Hawkeye, never looking away from BJ. Both men weren't blinking. Suddenly the two men burst into peals of uncontrollable laughter, causing looks from all the restaurant-goers around them.
"What were we laughing at, Hawk?" asked BJ, wiping tears of laughter away from his eyes.
"I don't even have the vaguest idea. And I don't even want to know!!" shrieked Hawkeye, his laughter starting up again, starting BJ's again. Margaret and Peg looked at each other, rolled their eyes, and sighed.
BJ's laughter stopped. "Hawk.did you just call Margaret, 'darling'.?"
"What, you got a problem with that, buddy? That what I want to call a close friend of mind, OK? Do you want me to still keep calling you 'BJ' or do you want me to start calling you by your given name 'Benito Jehosifat'. That is your real name, isn't it? No, can't be, you're not Spanish. You wouldn't tell me in Korea, but now I beg of you. I need to know. WHAT DOES 'BJ' STAND FOR!!!" screamed Hawkeye, causing more stares.
BJ smirked wickedly at his old friend "Anything you want."
"BJ dear, what do your initials stand for? I don't think you ever told me." Peg remembered
"You never even told your wife, BJ?" Hawkeye said, traces of mock surprised looks on his face "And I thought you were the most devoted family man in the world. You have to tell your wife, BJ. I'm surprised and shocked you didn't. Or at least tell me. I thought I was your best friend, Beej. You tell me everything. Well maybe not everything. Just tell me this one thing. Pretend I'm on my deathbed or something. Just tell me. WHAT DO YOUR DAMMED INITIALS STAND FOR!!!" Hawkeye ranted. BJ's grin grew more devishly
"You're not dying you don't even have a cold!" teased BJ
"AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!" screamed Hawkeye "JUST TELL ME, DAMMIT!!!"
"Ignore my crazy, ranting and raving friend over here." BJ grinned to the staring people in the restaurant.
"My ranting gets raves" sneered Hawkeye sarcastically.
"To change the subject." started Margaret, not wanting to cause more of a scene then they already had.
"Good idea, Margaret" said BJ, still chuckling. He stopped "Why are we here?"
"To celebrate our arrival, of course." laughed Hawkeye "To celebrate the fact Hawkeye Pierce and Margaret Houlihan are in Mill Valley, California, with good friends, having good times, and remembering old good ones."
"Aah, of course." nodded BJ knowingly ".why are we really here?"
"What you don't like my story?" asked Hawkeye innocently
"That's just it, it's a story"
"Well the reason we're here.cannot be divulged until another date, place, and time, or until I feel like telling it, whichever comes first. Anyway, to change the subject, yet again, I want to ask the beautiful Miss Erin Hunnicut if she would like to accompany me on a walk around the plaza. Whaddya say, Erin?"
"OK" Erin answered and jumped off her chair. The two walked off. BJ turned to Margaret "What do you know about his." He motioned toward the door Hawkeye and Erin had just disappeared out through ".more erratic than usual behavior?"
"Absolutely nothing. Hawkeye's acting crazier than usual. I have no remote clue what he's talking about. He's acting crazier than usual." Margaret protested.
"As long as I have known you, you have never repeated yourself and you just did" pointed out BJ "Spill it, Houlihan, what do you know?"
"Nothing" Margaret protested "The only thing I know is.I have to use the restroom, excuse me." And she started to walk off
"You just went!" Peg said. Either Margaret was out of earshot, or she chose to ignore BJ and Peg, no one ever knew, and she continued walking towards the bathroom. BJ and Peg gave each other blank stares as Margaret walked off. Margaret, Hawkeye, and Erin didn't re-appear until the meal was served. All during the meal Peg, BJ, and Erin kept trying to ask Hawkeye and Margaret what was going on, but every time they turned to one, the one had food in his or her mouth. Then they would turn to the other one and the same thing would happen. Everyone finished their meals at the same time. BJ and Peg were about to ask them again when both Hawkeye and Margaret pushed their chairs back and got up at exactly the same time, Margaret muttering something about taking a walk and Hawkeye about the bathroom.
BJ and Peg looked at each other before looking at Erin "What do you know about this?" they both asked the little girl at the same time
"Nothing. I swear. Hawkeye wouldn't tell me either!"
Just like dinner, when their desserts appeared, so did Hawkeye and Margaret. Also as they did at dinner, Hawkeye and Margaret took bites at alternating times with BJ and Peg looking from one to the other. After dessert, BJ and Peg prepared to wrestle Hawkeye and Margaret to the ground if they tried to leave again, but surprisingly, both stayed right where they were.
"What the heck is going on with you two?" asked BJ, who was rather annoyed, and would have probably said something stronger, had Erin not been there.
"Well." said Hawkeye, while the busboy was clearing their dessert plates. He looked at Margaret. She looked at him. The time had come.
"We're getting married!" both Hawkeye and Margaret blurted out at the same time.