What I Hear When You Don't Say A Thing, a lost fanfic

Ok, a few of you probably knew this was coming. I watched the episode on the internet this morning, and all I can say is that Michael is now officially my least favourite person! He completely ruined the moment. They probably would have slammed each other against a tree and had their wicked ways with each other if it wasn't for Michael turning up. They didn't even get to kiss! Anyway, enough with my ranting - this is the Jate version, as always, set as if Michael never showed up. I don't own the show, and I don't own the song or Notting Hill either.

"I'm sorry I kissed you."

The words rang out in the air around them, and although once humid, it seemed to chill considerably; or maybe it was just the shivers of regret that ran up and down Jack's spine. For the first time since they had escaped out of that net, Jack raised his eyes and looked at the beauty of a woman beside him. She was looking at the small fire they had before them, not at him, and he could see from how the firelight reflected in them that her eyes were filled with pain to have to say those words. He felt a swell of emotion course through him at that moment, more so than ever, more, even, than when she had kissed him and ran.

Perhaps it was jealousy, because she had run to Sawyer, and now the two of them were always together, even though Sawyer had betrayed her. He remembered wanting to hurt Sawyer so badly after that.

Perhaps it was regret, because their close friendship had been condensed to nothing but ashes of the flame they once had. He loved having her as his friend, his best friend, because he had never really been friends with girls. They had always tried to beg for his attention amongst themselves, but Kate was different.

Perhaps it was anger, because she had waited for nearly two weeks to bring this topic up, even after she had gotten kidnapped trying to prove herself to him.

Perhaps it was greed, because he wanted her to admit more. He wanted her to get it all out in the open; no more secrets, no more lies. He wanted to know what was her reason for running, her reason for kissing him in the first place. He wanted more than just 'I'm sorry' for once. He needed a 'because'.

Although he could toy with these ideas all night, he knew that none of them meant anything to him other than what he wanted to feel. The only one he could honestly say that he felt was jealousy. Before they crashed here, he had never been jealous of someone like Sawyer. However, now that they were here, and Kate was here as well, he did feel jealousy. He knew that whenever he took a walk down to the beach, he would hear her laughing, and he wouldn't have to turn his head to see that Sawyer was responsible for the girlish laugh that once only he had been able to make her do. He was jealous that Sawyer had kissed her before he had, and that he had blackmailed her for it. He was glad that she had hit him afterwards though. He hadn't been able to bring himself to be around them when she kissed him, so he had hidden behind the trees, knowing what was happening because of the temporary silence that struck him so suddenly. But the other emotions meant little else to him in the way of Kate. He didn't feel anger towards her. As much as he had tried over the past two weeks, he just couldn't stay angry at her; maybe at the situation, or at himself, but not at her.

But did he feel regret? Did he hate the fact that as he had comforted her, that her hand had traced up his neck, settling on his cheek? Did he hate how he knew what was happening, and stood, frozen to the spot, as her lips crushed against his? Was he really upset about the fact that he found himself kissing back, just as caught in the moment as she was?

Of course he wasn't.

So he did the only thing there was to do. He kept his eyes locked with hers, the chocolate orbs saying more than their mouths ever could. Taking in a breath, after what was only a few seconds after she had spoken, he spoke.

"I'm not."

He heard her release a breath that she had been holding, probably preparing herself for the onslaught of an arguement that would probably lay before them. It sounded like relief, happiness, but disguised so cleverly that he wouldn't have heard it if he hadn't seen her lips move ever so slightly. They contined to stare at each other, and eventually, he saw her eyes glaze over with unshed tears. She closed her eyes, looking back towards the fire, as one of them spilled over her flawless cheek. Jack frowned when he saw the tear.

"Kate?" He asked quietly. She didn't say anything, she just shook her head as more tears fell. "Oh no, Kate, don't cry." He said desperately. He didn't want to be the cause of her tears for the third time in two months.

Her hands came up to her face, burying them away from his gaze as she tried so hard not to cry, but she couldn't stop the tears. She sniffed them back and felt Jack's arms envelop her in a large hug, much like before. Only this time, there was no awkwardness. He hadn't stumbled upon her in the jungle, she hadn't just yelled at him, she couldn't run away. It was the middle of the night, and they were out there somewhere. The Others. They had put a bag over her head, a gun to her throat, a gag in her mouth, and held her out before Jack, Sawyer, and Locke, a mere mess of her usual self. No, she couldn't run anywhere.

"I'm sorry," She repeated, finding her head resting against Jack's chest once again, and she didn't fight against it. She relished the feeling, the strength it was giving her. "I'm sorry, I just-"

"Are you?" He asked.

"I'm sorry." She said surely.

Jack raised her back up by the shoulders, his hands lingering there and making sure that she met his eyes completely. He looked into her watery eyes, and shook his head. "Don't lie to me, Kate." He whispered, but it wasn't an order, it was a plea. "Please, don't lie to me, not over this."

Over what exactly? The relationship that they didn't even have?

"Jack," She croaked, trying to contain the sob that had lodged itself in her throat. "Look at us, I've ruined everything." She pointed out. "If it wasn't for what I did, we would have actually talked about normal things today. We used to talk more in three minutes than we did on this whole day." She said to him, tears still coursing down her cheeks.

"Maybe we don't need words." He suggested. "Kate, this is silly, we both know what this is really about."

"Oh yeah? What?" She asked.

"I don't care what you say, Kate." He said firmly. "I'm not sorry. The only thing I regret about that day is not coming after you. I'm not sorry. And neither are you."

She almost stopped breathing for a moment. How could he read her like an open book, when she fought so hard to stop him from seeing the truth? It was almost like everything she felt was laid out on a platter for him to look at. She looked away.

"Are you?" Jack prompted.

Kate closed her eyes again, and shook her head ever so slightly.

"Kate, just say it." He told her softly.

"I can't." She whispered.

"Why not?"

She swallowed. "Because everyone I care about gets hurt. I loved my step-dad, and he left. I loved my Mom, and Wayne used to beat her. I loved Tom, and he left me, and then he got killed, because of me." She said, refusing to meet his eyes.

He cupped her face with his hands. "Kate, is that why you can't say it? You think that I'll leave you?" He asked, incredulously. She nodded. He let out a smile. "Kate, I'd never leave you." He said. "If you can just tell me how you feel, I'd never leave you." He assured her.

"You promise?" She asked him in a tiny voice that sounded almost child-like.

He nodded. "Yeah, I promise."

She was silent for a few minutes, and then she shook her head, opening her eyes to look at him. "No, I'm not sorry." She said, seeing him smile when she said it. "I'm sorry that I ran, but not that I kissed you. I just didn't want you to get hurt. I didn't want to be the cause of your pain." She explained. "No one has never felt good being around me." She trailed off. "That's why they leave."

He caressed her cheek with his thumb, shaking his head. "Kate, I've been around you for two months now, and I'm always happy when I'm around you. The truth is, I've never been more scared either. People are dying now. Boone, Scott, Shannon, Arzt. I'm terrified that the next body I have on my hands is going to be yours. And the other day, it nearly was." She closed her eyes. "It just scares me how much I'm in love with you, Kate." He said quietly.

Her eyes opened again and looked at him. Immediately, he started to move closer to her, and she was frozen for a moment, but then she was the one that moved and closed the gap between their lips. As their lips clashed again and again, she put her arms around his neck, and as she moved closer to him, she slipped, and they both ended up on the ground, Kate lying on her back and Jack looming above her. Neither adknowledged their position until their kiss faded, and they lay on the ground, breathing heavily for a moment. Jack laughed.

"This is a very compromising position." He nodded, looking at the miniscule gap between their bodies, and loving every second of it.

"I take it from the fact that you're not moving that you're comfortable as well." Kate agreed, arching an eyebrow at him.

He smiled, and kissed her again. "I think I could be comfortable here for a long time." He said, watching the smile that coarsed her lips with a new energy. "However, I think we should probably get some sleep." He suggested. "We don't know when we need to be up again." He reminded.

Kate nodded, and Jack rolled off her, and together, they got up, crawling over to their blankets. Kate was just about to settle down on hers when Jack gave it a sharp pull towards him, so that the blanket she had set up a few feet away was now overlapping his a little on one side.

"What are you doing?" She laughed, seeing as she was sitting on the blanket and moved along with it.

Jack lay back on his blanket, scooping his arms around Kate's waist and bringing her down beside him. "If you think that I'm spending tonight without you in my arms, you've got another thing coming." He told her with a gentle laugh, they both got comfortable, with Kate's back against his chest tightly, both assuring each other of their presense. "I've waited too long for this." He muttered softly, and Kate smiled.

After a few seconds, she let out a tiny giggle that broke the silence they had between them. "What's so funny?" Jack asked.

"I was just thinking," Kate explained. "About what you said earlier, with us not needing words."

"Remember that song?" Jack asked her. "You say it best when you say nothing at all?"

She let out a little laugh at his, so did he. She said, "I used to love it so much, it's the last CD I can remember buying."

"It was in Notting Hill." He added. "My Mom used to watch it over and over again, until all I used to have stuck in my head was that song." He said, almost ashamed by it.

Kate looked ahead of her sadly, trying to go over the lines in her head, but it wouldn't work. She let out a heavy sigh.

"What?" Jack asked.

"I can't remember the words." She admitted quietly. "How bad is that? One of my favourite songs and I forget the words."

They sat for a few minutes, feeling the movement of each others breathing until it became completely synchronised. Then she heard the whispering sounds of Jack's voice just above her ears.

"It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart.
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark.
Try as I may, I can never explain,
What I hear when you don't say a thing.

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me, wherever I fall
You say it best, when you say nothing at all."

Kate smiled. "Jack Shephard, are you serenading me?" She asked in a cheeky, yet appreciative voice.

"Yes." He said simply. "Now, shut up and listen before I lose the nerve." He added through a laugh.

"All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd
Try as they may, they can never define
What's been said between your heart and mine

The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Lets me know that you need me.

You say it best when you say nothing at all."

He spoke the last bit into her ear, and she smiled. His soothing voice had sent her into a state of mind that readied her for sleep, as well as being in his arms. She gave a content sigh, snuggling closer to him for warmth.

"Jack?" She started after a few moments, remembering what he had said earlier, and what she hadn't.

"Yeah?" He asked, his hand coming to rest on her stomach, tracing circles there softly.

"Didn't tell you earlier - I love you too." She said, unable to see the smile that plastered itself on his face. He kissed the skin beside her ear, and together the two of them fell into a sleep that was undisturbed until the morning. Exactly the way it should be.

A/N: Incredibly cheesy I know.

BTW, This is just an idea, but I wanted to get people's views on it before I go ahead with it...what do you think about a series of one-shots put together in a full fic based on the season 1 episodes, like these ones. If you think this is a good idea, could you give me a few suggestions about which episodes need to be done? Thanks!