New chapter is finally up. I hope you all enjoy it. Its from Peyton's POV and my first try at a flashback in this fic. There will be lots of flashbacks as I need them to get yout o fully understand the story. I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think.

Thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter, Monica, Laur, lysser8312, Sis, Nats, Nonna, Forky and Mon.

I walk into my room and close the door softly. I look around the room and spot my old art book on the edge of my bed. I raise one eyebrow and then pick the book up and lay down on my bed to flip through the book that meant so much to me in high school.

I open the book to the first page and see the page that I put there after I met Lucas, there is another one near the middle and then another one close to the end. My art book is divided into three sections and not surprisingly those three sections revolve around Lucas. The first section is pre-Lucas; this is the section where my drawings revolve around my mother and the way I dealt with her death and the loneliness I felt while I was with Nathan. The second section is during Lucas; this is the section that contains everything from the first moment I met him up until the best and worst summer of my life, this is where I drew all my frustration with his relationship with Brooke, with the cheating incident and everything that revolved around that part of my life. And the third section is post-Lucas; everything that happened after that, the reason why I can't look at him anymore, the reason why I cant trust him anymore.

I flip straight to the back wanting to remind myself of why I can't trust him. I can't look at the front or the middle because things were still good then and it breaks my heart to remember how happy I was with him. The book opens on the page that caused me the most pain, seeing Brooke with Lucas didn't even cause me as much pain as this did.

It was after the summer and everyone was back, we were all together again except we were different. Haley was by herself, Brooke was with Nathan except they were just friends and Lucas was with me except we were just friends although I had really strong feelings for him. Nathan wasn't talking to Lucas like at the beginning and Brooke was helping Nathan through his pain. Lucas had gone off and Brooke turned to me and told me that I had to tell Lucas about my feelings; I went to go and find him and found him in bed . . . . with Bevin. Oh yeah I remember that night clearly.

Flashback

Lucas and I walked into the party together laughing and joking about one of the many events that had happened over the summer. We spotted Brooke and Nathan over in the corner talking to Haley and Tim. They were all smiling and having a good time. I punched Lucas in the arm and told him to come with me and say hi.

We got over there and Brooke grinned and jumped into my arms giving me a massive hug, I grinned and hugged her back just as tight. We pulled back and she gave a stiff hello to Lucas. She had taken Nathan's side on the whole debate and was sticking by him 100 percent.

Lucas moved over to Haley and gave her a hug which she returned with a smile. Lucas then looked towards Nathan but all he got in return was a glare. I saw the pain flash through his eyes but it was only there for a second.

The night went fairly quickly everyone was drinking and flirting and generally having a good time. I sat down with Haley for a while so we could talk things out. We hadn't really talked about our situations like we usually do and I think it was time that we did. I talked to her about Lucas as she encouraged me to pursue my feelings for him and she told me how she really felt about Nathan and seeing Nathan with Brooke.

A little while later Nathan and Brooke joined us and we had a good time laughing and catching up properly. It was amazing how well Nathan and Haley are actually dealing with this situation, they are a lot more comfortable around each other than I would have expected. About an hour later, we were well into the night and Lucas came and joined us, he sat next to me and smiled at us all. The air got tense after that, Nathan stiffened up at the sight of his older brother as Brooke tried to calm him down with soft subtle touches that seemed to relax him to a degree. But with those touches came the hurt looks that flashed across Haley's face. So in simple terms Lucas ruined the happy atmosphere. I think he could tell too because he started to shift uncomfortably, I moved closer to him to try and calm him down a bit and also just so I could smell his familiar scent that I had grown so accustomed to. He looked around again and then stood up quickly.

"I'm just gonna . . . . go." He said softly and started to walk off when he heard Nathan mutter good, his shoulders stiffened but then relaxed quickly and continued walking. I sighed and then turned to say something to Brooke and noticed that she watched him leave until he was out of sight; she then whipped her head around to narrow her eyes in my direction.

"Peyton." She growls out and I jumped slightly, "What do you think you are doing?" I sight thinking she doesn't approve of me hanging out with Lucas.

"Brooke . . ." I start but she cuts me off.

"Why haven't you told Lucas you have feelings for him? That you want to be with him. That you want to have his babies." I pick up my empty cup and ditch it at her when I hear her last comment. Everyone laughs.

"I have to agree with Brooke." Haley starts and I mutter traitor, "You have these feelings for him Peyton and you can't keep them all bottled up inside. Not only do you deserve a chance at happiness but he has a right to know." She finishes wisely and I nod my head but make no move to go after him.

"Well what are you waiting for? Go after him!" Brooke demands and I shake my head stubbornly, refusing to do it.

"Peyton I may not be happy with Lucas right now but I know that the guy is in love with you, he never stopped. I don't think Lucas deserves you and I don't think he ever will but if he makes you happy then you need to go after him and you need to go right now or you might lose him like you did last time." I look up when I hear Nathan's words and I can see in his eyes that he is being deadly serious. I nod my head and then get up and walk off in the direction that Lucas went. As I walk I hear Brooke and Nathan's conversation behind me.

"You're amazing! What would u do without you?" Brooke states happily and I shake my head.

"You wouldn't be able to stare at my godly body and be in my wonderful presence." Nathan says cockily and I roll my eyes.

"Get over yourself Scott." Haley and Brooke say at the same time and then they all burst out in laughter.

Their laughter drifts away as I get further and further away from them. I search throughout the whole main room for Lucas but don't find him so then I search through the bedrooms. I get to the last door and push it open, I peaked in and I felt my heart rip in two at what I saw. Lucas was on top of Bevin and they were both naked, very naked.

I want to run but I couldn't, I was paralyzed and I stood there watching as the person I had fallen in love with over the summer was having sex with someone else. I watched as Lucas dipped his head and placed lustful kisses down Bevin's neck and sucked on her pulse point. Bevin cried out in pleasure and that's all it took for me, I ran out of the room forgetting about the door, tears blinded my vision and I bumped into lots of people and they yelled at me but I didn't care, I just kept running.

I ran past Nathan, Brooke and Haley and they screamed after me but I ignored them, I couldn't face them now, I couldn't let them know that while I had deep feelings for Lucas he never returned them for me. Nathan was wrong and that hurt because I wanted him to right, God I wanted him to be right so badly.

I get to the front door and push it open roughly running outside towards the direction in which I hope my car is at. I trip over something and fall to the ground but I don't care. I curl up in a ball on the ground and cry so hard that my body is shaking.

"Peyton?" I hear a voice in front of me or behind me I can't tell right now. I can't tell where the voice is coming from and I can't tell who it belongs to but I don't care I just want to be alone right now.

I hear the person sigh and then feel them sit down next to me. The person picks me up with strong arms and places me in their lap holding me close and rocking me back and forth as I bury my face in their chest and soak their shirt with my tears.

After about fifteen minutes I pull back slightly and wipe my tears away so that my vision is no longer blurred. I look up towards the person and my mouth drops open in shock.

"Felix?"

End Flashback

I feel tears run down my cheeks and I brush them away angrily, I don't want to cry over this situation anymore, I don't want to think about it, I don't want to admit that what he did still hurts me to a certain degree.

I turn the page and laugh at the picture that I see. It's a picture that I drew after Lucas did that and it is of Nathan punching Lucas. Brooke told me that after I ran out Haley went to try and find me and her and Nathan went to go find Lucas. They saw him with Bevin and Nathan punched him, called him an asshole and told him to stay the hell away from me.

I flick through the next few pages and find a drawing of me and Felix curled up on the couch at Brooke' place. The main focus is one us but Brooke and Nathan are in the background. I run my fingers over Felix's face and trace the outline. No one understood that relationship not even Brooke or Haley.

I didn't think it was that hard to understand. Felix was everything that Lucas wasn't and that was what I needed. He loved me, he cared for me, he worshipped me, and he never hurt me.

No one hurt me like Lucas.

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