Chapter 4
My dearest heart,
You left me at the station. Why? Why do you have to be this cruel? I watched until you completely disappeared from the sight. I stayed there a long time after you were gone. Your face, your voice, your scent—they continue to haunt me! My love for you is true! But you refuse to believe me. Why? Give me a good reason. I admit, I am a womanizer. But I am also human. Humans do have true feelings. You are the first girl who captured my heart.
After you left, I stayed at home for nearly a week. Without you at Central, I have no life, no soul. Sometimes I wandered all over the city, hope to catch the sight of you. But you are nowhere seem! At home, I cannot eat, cannot sleep. You are everywhere to me. Every time I close my eyes I see you. It's raining outside, each raindrop is like sharp dagger stabbing into my heart. Come back to Central. Come back to me! Come back to me!
Love you more than anything,
Roy
---x---x---
Winry, my dearest love,
You did not reply my letter, why is that? Did it not reach to you? You are afraid to read it? Or are you not touched by it? Don't be afraid, I meant you no harm. All I want is to love you. I love you, and that's all what I want to show you. Love is gentle, it's smooth, it's harmless. It tends to bring you happiness. Your happiness is my everything.
I'm writing this while watching the shining moon in the sky. It's beautiful. It reminds me of you. What are you doing right now, under the moonlight? Are you sleeping, my angel? Are you walking under it? Or, as much as I hoped, are you thinking about me?
I dreamed of you last night. You were wearing white, like you always are. You looked more beautiful than anything. We waltzed together. I could smell your scent. I actually held you in my arms! Then, you began to fade. And you disappeared! Disappeared from my sight! I woke up, and you weren't there! Why, why is life being so harsh?
Please help me! Respond my letter! I'm not the arrogant man you think I am. I'm just a pitiful man who wants your affection. Please, send me a word or two.
The man who's desperately in love with you,
Roy
---x---x---
Winry, darling,
Still no reply from you. Are you ill? Or are you too busy? I hope you are sitting in your desk with you delicate hand writing a response to me. I know your response might not be the response I'm waiting for. But anything from you, anything from you is good enough for me. Please, respond!
I'm lying in bed, I have lost all my courage. Am I a loser? I can win the admirations from the soldiers. I can win combats on the battlefield. Yet, I cannot win your heart! Why is that? What is it about me that makes you resent me? Tell me please! Give me a reason!
Please be kind, don't be this cruel. Give a chance. I beg you.
A man whose heart is breaking,
Roy
---x---x---
Winry, my angel,
I received a small envelope today, but it is empty. Is it from you? If it is, then why is it empty? What does it all mean? You have no heart for me? Or you are just afraid to say what you really want to say deep down in your heart?
The other day, when you left Central City, I took your hand. I can still feel the warmth from it. It was so warm. And I looked at you in the eye. I saw your true feelings. You do have a heart for me, you just don't want to admit it. Can you really look at me in the eye and tell me that my love for you is false and you have no feelings for me? If you are really able to do that, then I have no choice but to give up. But if you haven't done that, I still have hope.
Please give me a definite respond. Stop playing me with my heart. You are confusing me.
Roy
---x---x---
Winry,
Nothing, nothing, nothing! I stared at an empty mailbox all day long. Everyone in the military thinks I'm mad. Yes, I am mad. I'm madly in love with you! Why can't you feel the same way? Is your heart belonged to another man? If so, who is it? Why him? Why not me?
Please give me a reply or I'll go insane.
Roy
---x---x---
Winry,
I was attacked the other day. It was the same guy who attacked Fullmetal. I could defend myself, but I didn't. It was so strange, even to myself. Am I really devaluing my own life now? Perhaps, because without you, my life has no value. I hurt my right hand, so I'm writing with my left. The writing is sloppy, I know. I'm just not good with my left hand.
I was hospitalized. My subordinates and my superiors surrounded me, asking me how I feel. I did not respond. I couldn't describe how I feel. Every time, every moment, every second when I close my eyes I see you! I see you everywhere! You were so close to me, yet I am unable to touch you. Your image forever locked in my mind, my heart! I cannot concentrate on anything else.
I am now released from the hospital. The doctors can heal the wounds on my hand, but nothing, nothing, can heal the wound in my heart. I am truly heartbroken. Why can't you be kind to me, even just a little?
Please give me a reply, show me that you care! Show me that it bothers you!
A man with a wounded heart,
Roy
---x---x---
Winry,
Still no replyfrom you. So you truly are careless about me? If it is so, then, I have no choice but to die. I do love you, Winry, I truly do. Your happiness means more than anything to me. I cannot interfere with your life. I have no right to tell you to love me back. It's all your choice. It's all up to you. If you chose not to love me at all, then I have to accept it.
As I mentioned before, life without you, it means nothing to me. Without you, I don't see any future. If you still don't reply after this letter, then death it is.
My fate is in your hands,
Roy