Lily had gone to France for 2 months, after going to the clinic, to clear her head.
It was now her first day back at work, and of course she was organising a spot check on the Aurors and of course James was on her list.
'Okay come on Lily, you can do this, just walk in get him to sign the divorce papers, tell him the time of his spot check and leave' thought Lily, she had locked herself in her office for the past hour, preparing herself to see James.
'You can do it, don't let him or that bitch see how weak you are' Lily put her hand on the tiny bump that was growing on her stomach. 'I have to be strong, not just for me but for our baby, no wait MY baby, only mine' Lily was mad at herself for even thinking the way she had done when she first found out she was pregnant. Then a little voice creeped into her head. It's still his baby, doesn't matter how much I fight it, it will always be James' baby and it doesn't matter how much I deny it I still love him, just as much as I did on our wedding day, even if I don't want to'
"Lily, Lily, open the door" a male voice shouted through the door as they pounded on it.
Lily sighed and got up; she should have known she couldn't be alone for long. She got up and opened the door.
"Why didn't you tell me you were back? In fact why didn't you tell me you were going?"
"Sorry Siri, I just… had to get away. I didn't tell anyone… I didn't even know where I was going," said Lily closing the door behind Sirius.
"It's okay…sorry I uh we were worried about you. We didn't know if you were going to …"
"Do something stupid" finished Lily.
"Yeah"
"You don't need to worry about me. I'm alright really."
"No you're not Lily. But you are looking better."
"Thanks I do feel better."
"And how's the baby?" asked Sirius eying her stomach
"Giving me a hell of a lot morning sickness"
"Good, so is that normal … I mean there isn't anything wrong?"
"No, we're both perfectly healthy"
"Good, look Lils I want you to know that … I mean I know James is my best friend but what he did … I want you to know that I think of you as…" rambled Sirius.
"Siri, stop I think I know what you're saying and you've become a great friend of mine and you still are no matter what is going on with me and James and I hope you'll still want to be a godfather"
"You still want me to be godfather?"
"Yeah of course I do"
"I'd love to," said Sirius hugging Lily, "I'll be here for you and the baby I promise"
"I know you will and thanks," said Lily pulling away.
"Have you seen…"
"I'm just about to"
"Good luck. He won't sign those papers without a fight. He loves you"
"No he doesn't, if he did he wouldn't have been with Louise" said Lily.
Sirius couldn't think of a reply, all he could do was watch as Lily picked up the papers and left the room.
Lily walked along the corridors and soon found herself standing outside James' office.
"Mr Potter is doing paperwork at the moment and doesn't want to be disturbed" said Louise from behind Lily.
"I won't be long," said Lily turning round to face her.
At first Louise seemed shocked to see Lily but she quickly recovered.
"I'm sorry he really did insist that he not be disturbed" smiled Louise
"I don't give a flying fuck what he wants," said Lily with a dangerous glint in her eye. Then she turned and opened the door to James' office.
James was sitting at his desk attempting to fill out paperwork, but his mind was so preoccupied with Lily that he kept making mistakes. He looked terrible as if he hadn't slept in weeks, (which he hadn't), he'd lost a lot of weight, he'd lost his appetite when Lily left. His clothes even looked scruffier, his eyes had lost their sparkle. He was a shadow of himself without Lily.
"I'm sorry Jamie, but she barged past me baby" said Louise.
James looked up repulsed by her words.
"Don't" he started angrily then his whole face lit up when he saw Lily, "Louise get out"
"But" she said
"NOW" roared James
Louise left the room and flounced to her desk.
"Lily, sweetheart you're back, come in sit down" he said gently
"No thanks" said Lily coldly "this isn't a social call" she threw the papers onto James' desk.
James looked at them and saw what they were but said nothing.
"Sign the paper" said Lily emotionlessly.
"No"
"What?" growled Lily "sign the fucking papers"
"No"
"Oh come on James don't be a selfish bastard all you life, sign the papers so I can get on with my life"
"No"
"WHY THE HELL NOT"
"I love you, you're carrying our child, I love you, I want you back and I love our baby," said James emotionally
"You don't love me and I'm having MY baby, you're having nothing to do with either of us"
"I do love you Lily, please believe me. I love you so much it hurts. I'm nothing without you, I'm lost" said James feeling as if he was about to cry.
"I've heard it all before and this time I know that it is all bullshit. Now SIGN THE FUCKING PAPERS," screamed Lily then all of a sudden she felt a little dizzy.
James seeing her go pale and sway slightly jumped up and was instantly by her side.
"Sweetheart, don't get worked up, it's not good for you or the baby, come on sit down." He said easing her into a chair.
"Don't touch me," she said angrily yanking her arm away from him.
"I'm just trying to help. It can't be good for the baby, you getting upset"
"And who's fault is that?"
"mine I know but please hear me out"
"No"
"Lily, calm down, don't get yourself worked up"
"Then you sign the papers and I'll be fine"
"I can't" sighed James "I would do anything for you, just not that I can't"
"YOU SELFISH BASTARD"
"Sit down and calm down"
"Don't tell me what to do. You can't do one thing for me. If you ever felt anything for me you would sign the papers"
"I can't, I can't then it would be over"
"It's already over, it was over as soon as you dropped your trousers"
"Lily, I never slept with her"
"Well I didn't think you did get much sleep"
"It was just a kiss, just one little kiss"
"Like I'm supposed to believe a single word that comes out of your mouth"
"It's the truth I swear"
"FORSAKING ALL OTHERS that's what we promised, not forsaking all others except for kissing whores"
Just then Sirius and Remus burst into the office after hearing Lily shout.
"Is everything alright? Lily, are you okay?" asked Sirius
"No this piece of shit won't fucking sign the fucking papers, he seems determined to prolong my misery" said Lily
"Come on, Lily calm down," said Remus putting his arm around Lily and leading her out, "We'll go and get some hot chocolate"
"WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? SHE'S PREGNANT AND YOU GET HER INTO THAT STATE." Yelled Sirius once Remus and Lily were gone.
"I didn't mean to," said James quietly as he stared at the spot where Lily had been, "she hates me"
"Yeah. Did you tell her what actually happened?"
James shook his head
"Why the hell not?"
"She wouldn't believe …doesn't matter anyway. I still … there's no excuse"
What did you all think plz Review