Here's chapter 24… that is all.

Read and enjoy!

I do not own 'Adventure Time'.

But how cool would it be if I did?

Chapter 24

Night with the Living Dead

Finn blinked himself awake. He tried to sit up, but winched in pain. His whole body felt like it had been pressed with a two ton weight. Finn groaned from his aching body. 'Good glob, what the hell happened to me?'

Finn then realized he wasn't in his treehouse. And he was naked under the bed sheets.

And Marceline was lying next to him, sound asleep… also naked under the bed sheets.

Panic hit Finn like a freight train. '...Oh cram and jam, now I remember exactly what happened.'

Marceline's pale body was hidden under her bed covers. She looked almost dead when she slept, except for the content, slightly victorious smile on her lips. Her bed hair was a rat's nest. And so was Finn's, for that matter.

Finn broke into a cold sweat as he stared at the Vampire Queen's sleeping form. 'By the Founders, what have I done?' As slowly and quietly as he could, Finn endured his sore body and got out of bed. Despite it being Finn's first time, Marceline had shown no mercy with her enhanced, vampiric strength and stamina. Finn's body was covered in claw and fang marks. None of them were bleeding, but all of them still hurt.

As silent as the grave, Finn picked his clothes up off the ground and took the ladder downstairs. Once he was fully dressed, he tip-toed to the door and exited the house. He continued to tip-toe until he reached his motorcycle at the mouth of the cave. The morning light almost blinded Finn as he emerged from the vampire's den.

Shoko was leaning back against the bike. She grinned triumphantly at Finn, joy radiating in her green eyes. "I am so proud of you right now."

Finn growled angrily at his conscience and pulled out his phone. He dialed in a number and brought the phone up to his ear.

'Yo, waddup. Jake the Dog speaking."

"Jake, it's me. I really need to talk to you." Finn spoke desperately into the phone. "Meet me at the treehouse right now."

"What? Finn, what's going-"

"Just meet me at the treehouse!" Finn begged before he hung up and grabbed the bike's handlebars. He looked back into the cave, then decided to push the bike further away before starting it up, further decreasing the risk of waking up Marceline.

Finn pushed the bike for a straight mile before he was brave enough to start it up.

"And… gin." BMO displayed his cards on the wooden floor.

"Ah, dag nabbit!" Neptr cried.

"Yay! BMO wins again!" BMO cheered and did a little dance.

Neptr's cards fell out of his fork hand. "I think I would be better at these card games if I actually had two arms… and hands."

"No one likes a sore loser, Neptr." said BMO. The robot gathered the cards up and reshuffled them. "Now let's grab some of Finn's treasure so I can teach you how to play draw poker."

"Hooray! Illegally gambling using someone else's money!"

The sound of Finn's motorcycle stopped the bots in their tracks. The bike's engine was killed, then a moment later, the front door opened and closed. Finn emerged from the foyer looking rattled and agitated. Without a word, Finn walked over to the kitchen area and made himself a cup of tea, then sat at the table and began drinking his tea sip by sip.

Neptr and BMO watched the whole process silently. They glanced at each other before walking and wheeling over to Finn. "Hello, Finn. We missed you last night." said BMO.

"Is something the matter, Creator?" asked Neptr. "You look only sixty percent operational."

"Yes. It looks like a wild animal tried to tear you apart." BMO commented.

Finn shuddered. "I'm fine, guys. Don't worry." he replied a little too calmly. "Where's Susan?"

"The big lady is out back with the water ladies," said Neptr. "The water ladies keep the big lady calm and tranquil. Although, they kept asking where you were last night. They said something about returning a favor."

"I think I might be spent on favors." Finn muttered.

"Come again, Creator?"

"Nevermind. Why don't you guys go outside and play? Jake's gonna be here soon and I need to talk to him alone."

"Okay." BMO grabbed his deck of cards. "Come on, Neptr. I will introduce you to Football in the pond!"

"Hooray! Robotic Dissociative Identity Disorder!" Neptr cheered before following BMO outside.

Several minutes of guilt, self loathing, and Shoko's poor attempts at cheering Finn up later, the door opened and closed again. Jake stretched his way up to the kitchen area. "Hey man, I'm here. What's up?"

"Thanks for coming over, Jake." said Finn. "Sit down. I… seriously need to talk to you."

Jake walked over and took a seat across from Finn. The bulldog looked slightly on edge, though. He had one leg sticking out from his seat, ready to make a break for it.

Finn took a deep breath. "Alright, listen… It's about Marcelin-"

"I KNEW IT!" Jake jumped out of his seat away from Finn. "She got you, didn't she?! She turned you into her zombie, vampire servant or something!"

"What? Jake-"

"You don't look like you've been turned. Where'd she bite you?! Maybe we can amputate before the vampirism spreads!" Jake flung his arm like a fishing rod out a window and reeled in an iron axe.

"Woah! Chill, man!" Finn shouted. "Marceline didn't bite me...! Well… actually-"

"That does it!" Jake's hand morphed into a stake. "I gotta put you down, man, before you become one of them! Before I do this, I want you to know… sniff… you're my best bro, man."

"First off; awwwww. Second; I'M NOT TURNING INTO A VAMPIRE!"

Jake blinked at Finn. "...You're not?"

"No!" Finn exclaimed.

"Oh thank you oh merciful Glob." Jake's hand morphed back to normal and he let the axe drop to the floor. "That is such a relief, man. Wait… so what did you want to talk about?"

Finn took a deep breath as Jake sat back down. "Okay. After I fixed Marceline's amplifiers, she and I went to the Nightosphere."

"The Nightosphere?! Why the heck did she take you to the Nightosphere?! Was she trying to harvest your soul? Did she offer you up for the Lord of Evil?!"

"Calm down, man! We went to the Nightosphere to see Marcy's dad… who happens to be the Lord of Evil."

"WHAT?!" Jake shouted. "So not only is she a vampire, she's literally the offspring of the devil?!"

"Jake!" Finn reached across the table and grabbed the dog's face. "Please. Calm. Down. I need you to listen to me, then tell me what to do next, because I have no idea what to do and I'm a little scared and very nervous. Okay?"

Jake stared at Finn for a few seconds, then nodded.

"Okay." Finn released Jake and sat back down. "So, after we were done in the Nightosphere, we went back to her place and… we talked… and… uh…" Finn gulped. "We… uh…"

"You what?" Jake asked. "What do you and the that devilishly attractive girl do after she invited you over to her place and then brought you to meet her dad and then took you back to her place and according to BMO and Neptr you didn't come home last night-"

When Jake finally managed to connect the dots, his eyes inflated and his bottom jaw slowly stretched down to the table.

"...You didn't."

"Jake, I need you to-"

"Tier fifteen."

"Look, it just sorta happened, you know? I didn't-"

"Vampire."

"She came on to me! And before I could even-"

"Could've been a living ball of fire."

"Look, Jake, I really need-"

"Bacon sandwich."

"...what?"

"Apple butter… pork rinds… cheeeeese…" Jake's eyes rolled back in his head and he fell out of his seat and onto the floor.

"Jake?" Finn stood up from the table and poked Jake with his foot. "Jake, come on. Don't you think you're overreacting a little bi-"

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Jake jumped back and waved his arms around wildly. "I gotta get out of here!"

Finn grabbed a hold of Jake before he could run. "Jake, please! I really, really need your help." he begged.

Jake struggled for a minute before he finally calmed down. Very slowly, Finn released Jake. "Thank you. Now, please tell me what to do."

"I would advise going into hiding. Maybe change your appearance and your name-"

"Jake, I need you to forget about your fear of vampires and pretend this is just a really, really scary girl. We…" Finn blushed. "performed tier fifteen, like you guessed, and then I left while she was asleep."

Jake slapped his forehead. "You ghosted her?!" He cried. "You did the devil's dance with the devil's daughter, and you ghosted her?!"

"Is that bad?" Finn asked.

"Well, actually-Of course it's bad! Even if she wasn't a freakin' creature of the Nightosphere, you should never ghost a girl that dangerous!" Jake breathed in and let out a long sigh. "Look man," Jake spoke in a newfound calm. "If you really do like this girl, then-"

"That's the problem!" Finn exclaimed. "I don't… I don't know how I feel about her. I think she's really cool and stuff, but I never… I don't know how to approach this."

"Very carefully, that's how. Oh so very carefully." said Jake. "Finn, I've been down this road before, believe it or not. You're gonna have to talk it out with Marceline, whether you want to or not, and I'm willing to bet my bones on the 'not'. Maybe last night meant something, maybe it didn't. Stuff happens. But, you can't pretend like nothing happened. She will not appreciate that."

"So what do I do?"

"There's three options for you right now," said Jake. "there's the non-weenie way, the semi-weenie way, and the totally-weenie way."

"...Huh?"

"The non-weenie way is getting on your motorcycle, going back to her place to talk it over, and apologizing for leaving. The semi-weenie way is telling her how you feel by calling her or texting her. That's the most popular choice. The totally-weenie is just waiting for her to come to you, in hope that she doesn't come and you can just dodge the issue."

"Oh… uh, okay."

"Okay. I have given you lady advice, as requested. But since that lady is a blood sucking, vampire devil-spawn, I must bid you good day." Jake raced out of the house as soon as he was done talking. "Hope it all works out for you! Let me know if she doesn't kill you!" he called out before leaving.

Finn hummed nervously to himself.

Shoko appeared at the table. "So… what'll it be, champ?"

Finn ended up choosing the totally-weenie way.

Night had fallen. Neptr and BMO were in sleep mode and Susan was sleeping in the garage on a pile of blankets. Finn sat in his purple chair and watched as the fire burned in the wood stove. Both guilt and fear kept Finn from going to sleep. He brought out his phone and stared at it anxiously.

"Ya know, the old hit n' run routine is kind of a dick move." said Shoko, leaning against the chair. "We both know you should call her."

Finn sighed. "Yeah."

"But you're not going to, are you?"

Finn put his phone back in his pocket.

"Hmm." Shoko responded. "You understand you can't avoid her forever, right?"

"I just need time to think, okay?" said Finn. "I get that at least, right?"

"What's there to think about?" Shoko asked. "Do you want to date this girl, yes or no? You're making this whole thing more complicated than it needs to be by being a wuss about it."

Finn knew Shoko was right, but he didn't even have the courage to do the semi-weenie way. So he just decided to wait a while until seeing Marceline again.

A scary-looking bat suddenly flew into the room.

"Ah! A bat!" Finn shouted. "How'd it get in here? Is one of the windows open? Shoo ya filthy, flying rodent!"

"Screw you." said the bat. It flew to the floor right in front of Finn and morphed into, yeah, you guessed it, Marceline, wearing a grey tank top and blue sweatpants. She grinned at the startled Human. "But then again, I already did that, didn't I?"

"Marceline!" Finn squeaked.

Marceline crossed her arms. "No call, no text, not even a quickly written note on the kitchen table." Finn shrank back into the chair as Marceline flew up and planted a hand down on either side of the flustered Human, their faces only a few inches apart. "I'm starting to think you're embarrassed by me."

"I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-" Finn gulped. "Look, Marcy, I'm sorry. I just… Well…"

"Dude, it's okay. I get it." Marceline flew up and floated down on Finn's lap like a falling leaf, earning a blush on the bashful boy's face. "I'll admit, it was a little sudden. I got caught up in the moment and then, bing, bang, boom, you and I went 'bing', 'bang', 'boom'."

Finn looked like he was about a heart attack, and Marcy looked like she was enjoying Finn's torture. "So… in that case… what happens next?"

"Next?" Marcy asked.

"Well, I mean… I think it's kinda obvious how I feel about this."

"Quite obvious. You're sweatin' bullets and I'm pretty sure that's not your phone I'm sitting on."

Finn looked ready to die. "M-My question is… how do you feel about this?"

Marceline tilted her head in amusement. "I've had a few boyfriends over the years. Few girlfriends too. My last boyfriend was a psychotic, asshole warlock who tried to brainwash me with a spell when I broke up with him. You, my adorable little human, are what I would call a step up."

Finn blinked. "You mean… you mean we're dating now?"

Marceline shrugged. "We could be. If you want, that is."

Finn swallowed down his anxiety. "I… I'm not sure what I want. This feels… good. But, before Ooo, I never really dated. In fact, I didn't even have much of a say in who I would end up being with. My mom used every trick in the book to hook me up with my friend Sarah."

"Nothing about your island sounds at all appealing, you know that?" Marceline remarked. "But, hey. You lost your innocence to a half-demon vampire queen who jams to death metal. That's a pretty good 'F-you' to your island, right?"

"...I...I wasn't really looking to give my island an 'F-you'." said Finn.

"My point is you're not on your island anymore, and you're allowed to date whoever you wanna date." Marceline explained. "You wanna go on a date with Marceline the Vampire Queen? Then let's go." Marceline floated off of Finn's lap and flew over to the nearest window.

Finn stood up from his chair and stared at Marceline in confusion. "A date? Like, right now?"

"As cliche as it may sound, the night is still young." said Marceline. "Come on, let's go on a date, you and me, just to see how things play out." Marceline opened the window and reached her hand out for Finn to take. "We both know you want to, so why don't you? Maybe we'll see fireworks, or maybe it'll all go up in smoke. That's what dating is, Finn; swinging until you hit a home run. You've already gotten to all four bases and even the pitchers mound on me. Might as well keep the ball rolling, right?"

The 'bases' thing made Finn's face turn so red, Marcy could've fed off of it. Finn couldn't help his temptation, though. He really liked Marceline, he wasn't about to lie. She was cool, she was kind, musically talented both vocally and instrumentally, Finn valued his friendship with the vampire. But Finn wasn't sure he was ready for a relationship, even with someone he had already grown close to.

And yet, Finn found himself walking up to Marceline. The Vampire Queen smiled as he took her hand, and then whisked Finn through the window into the starlit night.

Finn held on to Marcy's hand as she flew through the air. It was a remarkably beautiful night. For a goof, Marceline tossed Finn into the air. Finn shouted in alarm as he was thrown into the air. He landed in the entertained Marceline's arms bridal style. "Don't worry, Marcy's got ya."

"Is that supposed to comfort me?"

"How 'bout I just drop ya?"

"I take it back!"

"Yeah, I thought so." Marceline grinned. "Ever been to the Cloud Kingdom?"

"No."

"In that case, let's party!" Without warning, Marceline shot straight upwards, scaring the daylight out of Finn. They ascended until they burst through the clouds, where the sound of techno music could be heard. Above the clouds, things were getting lit. A huge party of sentient, humanoid cloud people were dancing and jamming to the DJ's music, playing off on the massive speakers. Not all of them were Cloud Nymphs, some of the party people were Water Nymphs like the three that lived in Finn's front yard. Also in the crowd was that giant, floating wolf head he had seen at Bubblegum's party and the Fire Festival. The wolf head wore a green and black baseball cap turned sideways on his head, with his left ear obscured and his right ear sticking out the back.

Marceline set Finn down on the soft but stable cloud and raised her hands into the air. "What's up, Cloud Kingdom?!"

The partygoers all turned and cheered at Marcy. Evidently, the Vampire Queen didn't just have fans on the ground. "Who's the new guy?!" someone shouted.

Marceline grabbed Finn's arm and raised it up. "This here's Finn the Human! The new Hero of Ooo!"

There was even more excited cheering. The crowd began swarming around Finn.

"No way!"

"You rock, Finn the Human!"

"I love you, Finn the Human!"

"Take your hat off!"

Finn blushed and raised a hand awkwardly. Marceline flew up into the air. "Now pump up the music, Cloud Kingdom!"

The Cloud People cheered once more and the DJ did as Marcy asked. The Vampire Queen flew back down and grabbed ahold of Finn's wrist. "Come on, you! Let's loosen you up with a dance!"

Before Finn could protest, Marceline dragged him to the middle of the dance floor. "Alright, Finn. Let's see your moves!"

"I don't have any moves!" Finn complained.

"Sure you do!" Marceline floated up and took Finn's hands on his own. She looked into his eyes and smiled. "Just follow my lead, okay?"

Finn reluctantly nodded. He wasn't sure if it was vampire hypnosis, or if it was just Finn being a guy and Marcy being an attractive female, but he found himself incapable of turning down Marceline's request.

Marceline took a step (or a float) back and started dancing to the music. Finn found himself staring, the Vampire Queen danced with inhuman grace. Marcy stopped dancing for a second to motion for Finn to start dancing, then went right back to it. Finn began his dance slowly and quite awkwardly, but he gradually felt his tension release. It was as if the music was prying away his nerves with a crowbar. Soon enough, both Finn and Marceline were dancing their rear ends off. Finn felt he had been hot wired; dancing in a kingdom in the sky with the one his island called the Angel Marceline. Finn did a quick check to make sure he wasn't dead, as the description made it sound like he was, in fact, deceased.

Marceline took Finn's hands and spun him like a top with enough force to send him spinning like a twister through the crowd of clouds. Marceline laughed as Finn went round and round, but she immediately stopped laughing when Finn spun into the giant wolf head.

"Uh-oh." Marcy commented.

"HEY!" The wolf head turned his wolf head and glowered at Finn. "Who dares interrupt the Party God's partying?!"

Finn stumbled around dizzily from the vertigo. When he finally did recover, the sight of a giant, snarling wolf head caused Finn to summon an ice sword out of instinct.

Anger burned in Party God's eyes at the sight of the icy weapon. "How dare you threaten me with a weapon of ice! You wanna go, bro! I'm ready to throw down! You and me! Right here, right now! A fight between mortal and immortal! Let's go, bro!"

Marceline quickly flew in between Finn and the Party God. "Hey! Back off, White Fang! He's with me! Just because Ice King stole your girlfriend, doesn't mean you have to be a bitch about it!"

Finn blinked in confusion. "Did… did you say Ice King stole his girlfriend?"

"I know, right?!" the Party God complained. "See, I used to date this island girl, who was an actual island! She didn't get a lot of exercise, but had a hot bod! Great tide, clean, sandy beaches, she was the whole package, bro! But then the freakin' Ice King convinced her to dump me! They didn't even start dating after that! They just became PEN PALS!" the Party God glared at Finn. "I bet it was the Ice King who taught you that sword trick, wasn't it?!"

Finn hid the sword behind his back. "No."

"Yeah it was!" The Party God cried. He floated up in the air menacingly and the skies darkened. "Any friend of the Ice King shall suffer the wrath of-"

"What's that!" Marceline pointed behind the Party God.

The PG spun around. "What, the clouds? Yeah, you see lot of those up here-"

Marceline morphed into her giant bat creature form and karate chopped the Party God's cap. The unconscious wolf dropped down through the clouds and fell to the earth. Once he was gone, Marceline morphed back to normal next to the shocked Finn. "I think we should ditch this party, how 'bout you?"

"Should we worry about that guy coming after us?" Finn asked nervously.

"Relax. As far as vengeful gods go, the Party God's not exactly temple and virgin sacrifice worthy. But still, we should probably get out of here." Marceline grabbed Finn's arm. "Have a good night, my cloud peeps!" she shouted before flying Finn through the night sky.

"Where we going now?" Finn asked.

"To show you something cool."

"Woooooah."

"Yeah, I thought you'd like it."

Marceline had brought Finn to the Ice Kingdom. They were seated on top of a small mountain overlooking the ocean. The full moon that hung above the sea illuminated the icy banks of the kingdom. The whole scene looked like a million dollar painting.

The wind howled. Marceline was unaffected by the cold but Finn shivered in his light jacket. Marcy reached into her pocket and pulled out Finn's ruby necklace. "Here. I nabbed this from your place before we left. I also took a silver goblet I thought looked pretty cool because I can."

Finn took the necklace and put it on. "Ahhhhhhh." Finn said in relief. "Thank you. That feels so much better."

"I would've offered myself to warm you up, but I'm not very warm, on account of being an undead diva."

Finn blushed. "Th… thanks, anyway."

Marceline brought her hands up to the back of her head and leaned back in an invisible recliner. "Let me ask you something… how come you haven't tried hitting on me?"

Finn's blush intensified. "I...I…" Finn coughed into his fist. "Do you… want me to?"

"Truth be told, I think it might be kinda painful just to hear you try to flirt with me. But I still would've appreciated the attempt." Marceline floated closer to Finn and placed a hand on his back. "So, what's wrong? It can't be that I'm just not doing it for you. You showed plenty of enthusiasm during our first 'dance'."

Finn waited for his heartbeat to settle back down before responding. "I… I guess I feel a little guilty."

"Guilty?" Marceline asked. "For what?"

Finn sighed. "The girl I told you about? Sarah? I never had feelings for her, but she made it clear she had feelings for me. She was the daughter of the Master Librarian, I was the son of the great Minerva Campbell, and everybody expected us to get married someday. And now, I'm on a date in a kingdom of ice with a vampire queen, who just knocked out a wolf god for me." Out of habit, Finn pulled out the golden coin Sarah had given him, still safe in his jacket pocket. "If Sarah could see me now… I wonder if she would be heartbroken… and a little freaked out."

Marceline stared at the golden coin in Finn's hand. "...Finn," She began tenderly. "I understand where you're coming from, I really do. You never imagined your life turning out the way it did, and you never imagined yourself going on a date with someone like her-I mean-like me." Finn raised an eyebrow at her slip, but held his tongue. "But you're in Ooo now, and you've more than earned your place here. Sarah and the rest of your crappy island-no offense-are hundreds and hundreds of miles away. So if you want to date a vampiric, cambion, musical genius," Marceline moved her hand from Finn's back and placed it on Finn's leg. "then why not just go for it?"

Finn blushed and gulped. "Uh… uh…uh…"

"I guess you need one more little push." Marceline leaned in and kissed Finn. It was a teasing kiss, Marcy was holding back to try to get Finn to meet her half way and return the kiss. And after his brain reactivated, he closed his eyes and indeed returned the kiss. Marceline grabbed Finn's shoulders and intensified the kiss, which Finn returned in full. He eventually had to come up for air, so he pulled away from the aggressive Marceline and gasped for breath.

Marceline grinned. "I just thought of a great way you can pay your rent."

Finn blushed, but only lightly this time, like he was developing an immunity. "That kinda sounds like blackmail."

"Hey, I'm the hot, goth chick with daddy issues. If anything, you're taking advantage of me."

Finn took a deep breath and pocketed his coin. "My first kiss, first score, and first girlfriend is a rockstar, vampire queen."

"Lucky bastard." Marceline scooted up to Finn and rested her head on his shoulder. "By the way, you were pretty good for your first time. I forgot to mention that. Surprised the hell out of me."

Finn blushed even more. Before he could respond though, his phone rang.

"Can't you just ignore it?" Marceline asked. "Who calls somebody this late anyway?"

"It might be important." Finn said before answering the phone. "Finnegan Campbell, a.k.a, Finn the Human speaking."

"Finn, good, you're still awake. It's me, PB."

"Bubblegum? Whatcha need at this hour?" Finn asked. He failed to notice Marceline's irritated glare.

"Well, I still really need to talk to you about that incredibly important thing. Remember when I called you about that? Or did you completely forget after hanging out with Marceline? What did the two of you even end up doing anyway?"

"...Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… I died, and Marceline had to bring me back to life with like, a magic demon spell. Yeah, that's definitely what happened."

"Finn, I wouldn't have believed that even without the incredibly long 'uhhhhhhhhh' at the beginning of your sentence."

Marceline snatched the phone out of Finn's hand and brought it up to her ear. "Lay off, Bonnibel. Neither of us pry into your personal life."

"Wait… Marceline?! Why are you-"

"Can't talk, about to nail Finn into the ground. Tootles!" Marceline quickly hung up before she could get a response from Bubblegum. "Heh, heh. If only I could see the look on her face."

Finn stared at the Vampire Queen. "Marcy, I gotta ask: What's the deal with you and Bubblegum? How do you guys know each other?"

Marcy in return raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "For real, dude? I thought it would've been obvious by now."

Finn tilted his head in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"What do you think is the deal between me and Bubblegum?"

Finn shrugged. "You guys used to be really good friends and then you got in a fight that ended your friendship. Seems like pretty standard stuff."

"Finn… me and Princess Bubblegum used to date."

Finn's eyes widened at a comically slow pace. "Wha…you…and her…but...but you guys snap at each other like two angry wolves! I got the impression you guys hated each other!"

"You really haven't ever been in a relationship before." Marceline remarked. "But yeah… me and Bonnibel… we used to be an item." Marceline looked like she was trying to look angry, but she still managed to look sad. She glanced at the phone in her hand with what might have been regret. "We met… oh glob, it was so long ago. Over five hundred years ago, in fact. We met at one of my first concerts. This was back when I was just starting to become popular in Ooo and Bonnie was still building up her kingdom. She found time off from her work and came to my concert. I saw her in the audience and thought she was kinda cute, so I tossed her the band shirt I was wearing at the end of my finale. After the concert was over, wouldn't ya know it, she came up to me while I was packing it in for the road. She was all bashful and stuff, I thought it was downright adorable." Marceline smiled in reminiscence. "We started talking, I started teasing, she started stuttering, one thing led to another, and we started seeing each other."

"Awwwwww." Finn commented. "So then, what happened?"

"Ho boy, that's a story. I'll do the quick version for you. See, me and Bonnie had a pretty good thing going for a long time. I guess it was one of those 'opposites attract' dealios, ya know? But like all couples, we started to argue. The Candy Kingdom was really starting to take off and so was my music career. That started what you could call an 'inconvenient complication in career choice'. We argued about a lot stupid stuff. It was always 'I need you to do this' or 'why can't we do this' or 'would it kill you to pay attention' or 'the world doesn't revolve around you' and a very, very long list of more nonsense. Eventually, the fights became more frequent than the dates, and they were starting to get ugly. And then… then I wrote the mother of all breakup songs so intense it scared away a dragon, and I played it in front of Bonnie and a whole kingdom of glass people."

"Oh my glob." Finn remarked. He never would've guessed the situation between PB and Marcy was that bad. "So I guess after your song, you guys stopped talking to each other?"

"Yup. I poured every ounce of anger I had into that song, then dumped it all on Bonnie." Marcy closed her eyes in frustration, like she hated herself for remembering that day.

Finn placed a hand on Marcy's back. "I'm so sorry." he said.

Marcy offered him a small smile. "It's fine, Finn. That was hundreds of years ago, anyway."

"Yeah. So… don't you think you and Bonnie should finally-"

"If you're about to suggest I go over and apologize for the arguments or for the song, then shut up." Marcy said a little too harshly. "You've seen what we're like, we can't even be in the same room with each other for more than ten minutes."

"Neither of you necessarily have to apologize for anything, but don't you think it's time the two of you buried the hatchet, instead of trying to kill each other with it?"

Marcy sighed. "Finn… I think you're the sweetest guy I've ever met," Marcy offered Finn his phone back. "but please drop it."

Finn took the phone and acquiesced Marcy's request. He put the phone back in his pocket. "Do you think PB's gonna be a little… you know… mad at me?"

"She'll be jealous, I'm sure of it. But jealous of who, I can't say for sure." Marceline answered.

That didn't really ease Finn's worry. Not only did Bubblegum make it clear she had feelings for him, he was now dating her ex-girlfriend. Finn never felt like such a jerk before. 'I need to have another talk with Jake.'

Marceline gave Finn a playful but still painful slug in the arm. "Hey, chin up, man. I think you and I are going to have a lot of fun as a pair."

Finn chuckled. "I think this'll be fun too. It's just that... the last thing I want to do is hurt any of my friends."

"The dating game can get messy, Finn, but what's life without a little risk?" Marceline snaked her arms around Finn's waist and pulled him closer to her. "How about you let me ease your worry with a little rental payment?" she purred into his ear. "Say, back at my place?"

Finn blushed and gulped, knowing full well he wasn't capable of saying 'no' to Marceline. "You… you think maybe you could take it easy on me this time?"

"I make no promises." Marcy replied before scooping Finn up and flying away.

(the very next morning)

"Alright, this is it, LSP." Lumpy Space Princess said to herself as she floated across the Grasslands. "You are like, totally finally ready to ask out Finn." LSP straightened out her grocery bag dress and readjusted the worn out handbag hanging on her shoulder. "If he won't come to you, then you've gotta come to him. You've rehearsed this moment for like, two whole hours, and you are lumping ready. He wants to play hard to get? Then I am like, so game."

LSP smiled at the sight of Finn's treehouse. "Okay, Finn. Get ready to lose a serious battle of will and lov-wait, hold on. I can totally do better than that… Watch out, Finn. I am like, ready to melt your mind with my lumps… No, still not good enough… Look out, Finn. Here comes the future Mrs. Campbell… Perfect." LSP reached into her handbag and pulled out a ketchup packet, which she used as makeshift lipstick. "It's lumpin' show time."

As LSP neared the treehouse, she saw a group of people in Finn's front yard by the pond. Curious, LSP floated over to see Jake standing in front of BMO, that musclebound Susan and/or Kara chick, a microwave on wheels, and the three Water Nymphs that lived in the pond. It looked like Jake was rallying the group.

"Alright everyone, listen up!" Jake shouted. "Finn is in trouble, and we need to band together to save him!"

"Finn in trouble?!" Susan cried.

"Yeah! He's been taken by the Vampire Queen! He disappeared last night, and I know it was the Vampire Queen because… of information that was told to me in confidence." Susan, BMO, and the microwave just looked confused, while the Water Nymphs began to look angry.

The microwave raised it's fork hand. "Why would the Vampire Queen kidnap Creator?"

"Yes. I thought Finn was friends with Marceline?" BMO added.

"Well… they are… but the thing is… uh…" Jake glanced at the Water Nymphs, who still looked pretty ticked. "Finn went to visit Marceline two days ago, and didn't come back until morning. And I just know the Vampire Queen came back last night to finish the job!"

"But why would talking shadow hurt Finn?" Susan asked.

Jake rubbed the back of his head. "Uhhhh… they… the two them-"

"Oh, just say it!" the short-haired Water Nymph shouted. "Finn and Marceline shot up to tier fifteen and now they're dating! You don't need to spy on Finn through the windows to figure that much out…! Not that we do that."

"WHAT?!"

The group turned around to see an enraged LSP glowering at them, literally shaking from rage. "FINN AND MARCELINE ARE DATING!"

"Oh glob, not her." Jake muttered to himself. "Well, I mean… I don't know whether or not it's official." he told the furious princess. "But… well… it was a one night fling… which may or may not currently be flowering into a relationship-I'm making it worse, aren't I?"

"That backstabbing vamp tranch!" LSP shouted angrily. "I told her I called DIBS! AND EVERYONE KNOWS THAT DIBS MUST BE LUMPING RESPECTED!"

"I did not know that dibs must be lumping respected." the microwave commented.

"Stuff a sock in it, new BMO!" LSP yelled. "So, Marceline wants to play dirty, huh? Well then, time to bring on the lumping mud! I'm going to use the most powerful weapon at my royal disposal!" LSP pulled out her phone. "Social media!"

"Oh, cram. I donka-da-donked up this one." said Jake.

LSP began typing away frantically on her phone. "Time to spread the lumping word! I am like, sending the news to every princess, duchess, countess, and hot babe in Ooo! Starting with the one babe as terrifying as Marceline!"

LSP hit send.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh… These molten stone messages are the only thing keeping me going." Flame Princess said as her personal masseuse carefully placed the molten rocks on FP's bare back. "Colette, you are my saving grace, have I told you that?"

"Wee, ma princesse. Almost at every von of your appointments." the tall flame woman answered with a smile. "Ond it is my utmost pleazour to be of service. Shall I play ze Ice Cube for you? Or vould you prefer ze Beastie Boys?"

"Mmmmmmmmm…" Phoebe hummed with content. "Play the Beastie Boys this time. I just got a new album from the Rag-and-Bone Kingdom. Bless Raggedy Princess's foam rubber heart. It's sitting on the table next to my phone."

"Yes, your majesté." Colette placed the last stone in position and walked over to the table with the album and phone sitting on it. She picked up the album and stared at the cover. "I vill never understand your taste in muzic, your grâce. But, who am I to judge vat you kids listen to?"

"We can't all like opera music, Colette." Phoebe commented.

Colette sighed. "An unfortunate truth. Oh, vere have the times gone?"

FP's phone buzzed.

"Oh, Princesse! I believe you have received a text message!"

"I don't care if it's Glob himself. Unless someone's dying, I'll deal with it later." FP replied sleepily.

"Well, vee should still see if someone is dying." Colette picked up the phone and read the text message. "It is from ze Lumpy Space Princesse. She writes… que Dieu nous aide."

"Is that what she wrote?" Phoebe asked.

Colette's eyes widened in panic. "Oh! Uhhhh, w-wee, ma princesse! Zat is exactly vat she wrote!"

Phoebe sighed. "Colette. Whatever it is, just tell me. How bad could a text from LSP be?"

Colette gulped. "Vell… za good news is… it does not concern the vell-being of ze kingdom."

"Mmmm… that's nice."

"It does, however, concern your friend, Monsieur Finnegan Campbell."

"Oh? Is it a threat to stay away from Finn, or else suffer the wrath of her obnoxious voice? Because honestly, I'm almost tempted to oblige if that's the case."

"I'm afraid not, your grâce. Are you familiar vith la Reine des Vampires?"

"You mean Marceline? What about her?"

"...Vell… according to le LSP… Mademoiselle Marceline and Monsieur Campbell… are now dating."

"Oh, well that's n… WHAT?!"

The blast could be felt throughout the entire kingdom. Fortunately, no Flamepeople were hurt... except for one, of course.

I have an announcement to make. After I put in a few chapters into my story 'Ace of Spades', I am beginning a new fanfic! No spoilers just yet, though.

Remember to favorite and follow to stay tuned!