Chapter 12
Ed sat in silence. His clutched the letter in his shaking hand. Winry and Mustang? How could it be? And how could Winry not tell me anything about it? Ed was angry, upset and hurt. Mustang had done things that upset him in the past, such as calling him short, sending him to evil missions or using him as card to get promotion. But seducing Winry, he really crossed the line. This was unforgivable.
Al wanted to say something, but he did not know what to say. "Brother…"
"Drop it," Ed said coldly.
"Brother, I think…"
"I said drop it!" Ed yelled, holding back his sob. Was it out of guilt? He was not able to protect his best friend from his commanding officer's sexual lusts. Winry had a miscarriage. She was suffering from both physical and emotional pain. What should he tell Aunt Pinako? Aunt Pinako had not yet returned from Rush Valley. How would she react when she was told that her beloved, precious granddaughter was once pregnant by a man who was nearly double of her age? He did not dare to think…
"Maybe we should talk to Winry," Al suggested.
"Talk to her about what?" Ed said. His voice was filled with pain. "About her night with that bastard? About how she was having an affair with him behind my back? About…"
"Shhh! Brother, Winry can hear us."
That quieted Ed down. He slammed the letter from Fuhrer Bradly against the table. Then, he went upstairs to Winry's room. She was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. She had no yet said a word since the doctor left. Pregnant? She was pregnant? She could hardly believe that once there was a life living in her womb. That life was created by her and Roy Mustang. It contained her blood, and Roy's. She had heard Ed's angry voice from downstairs. So he knows…
The door opened, Ed walked in. He took a chair and sat besides her bed. He was about to say something, but the words just wouldn't come out. And finally, Winry spoke up.
"So, you know," she said weakly.
"You can say that," Ed replied.
"How much do you know?"
"How much do I need to know?" Ed asked her. "Tell me, tell me it isn't true. You did not…you would never…"
"I did."
"You slept with that bastard? You actually let him touch you?" Ed's words were like daggers stabbing Winry. "You know what kind of a person he is! You actually think he loves you? Dear God, how stupid can you be?"
"I was a fool, I know," Winry whispered. "I was lonely…and he was there…he looked at me in the eye, and told me that he loves me…I believed him."
"How could you not tell me?" Ed asked. It was a stupid question, actually. He was not there the whole time. Winry hardly knew where he was. How was Winry able to tell him?
"Like you always tell me everything."
"That's not the point."
"Then what is the point?" Winry said in monotone. Her eyes were blank. She looked like as if she lost her soul.
"What are you trying to tell me? Did you just do this to get back at me?" Ed asked angrily.
"No, why would I try to get back at you? I told you, I thought it was love. I had no one. I was lonely."
"You had no one? You have me, you have Al. I'm here. I'm here for you whenever you need me. I'm…"
"Ed, get out!" Winry suddenly sat up, shouted. "Get out of sight!"
Ed stood up, looking at her, unable to understand her. He quietly turned around and left. Winry heard the door shut behind him. She sobbed against her pillow.
Ed went straight down stairs. He looked at Al, then he walked toward the door.
"Al, I want you to stay here and take care of Winry," he told him, without looking back.
"Where are you going?" Al asked, worried.
"Central City."
"No, you can't…" knowing his brother's hot temper, Al feared for the worst. "You are not thinking about kill…"
"I'm not going to kill him, it would be too easy for him. I'm going to beat the shit of him, tell him about Winry, and drag him all the way here to make him take his responsibilities." Then he turned around, looking sternly at Al. "Make sure Winry is all right. When Aunt Pinako comes back, just tell her that Winry had an accident and she is ill."
---x---x---
Roy Mustang sat in his desk, staring at the star in his hand. The Fuhrer did keep his words. He got it. The extra star. He was now General Roy Mustang. He had waited for this day for too long. But he was not happy. For some reason, every time he looked at that star, he thought about Winry. Her eyes, her lips, her touch, her voice, her words, her sobs. The scene when he shoved her on the ground kept on replaying in his mind. He had to admit, he hated himself for what he did.
It was unforgivable. He couldn't explain why he hurt her the way he did. He actually hit her. Never in his life had he ever beat a woman before. More he thought about it, more torturing he became. He opened his drawer, then threw the star in, and shut the drawer, forever. Then there was a knock on the door.
"Enter," he said. It was Lt. Hawkeye.
"General, I have something—" before she could finish, Breda and Havoc rushed in.
"Col—I mean General, I can't believe it! You are a general now!" Havoc cried in joy. Roy only frowned. He did not feel like to celebrate. Before Breda opened his mouth, Roy told him, "That's enough. If you have nothing important to tell me, then leave!"
"Sir," Hawkeye said, giving Havoc and Breda glares. "For the upcoming assessment, Edward requested a mock battle."
"Yeah?" Roy sensed something. Inside, he was uneasy. But he remained calm from the outside.
"And he chose you as rival."
"He chose me?" Roy nearly dropped his pen on the floor. Fullmetal wants to battle with me. What is he up to? Could it be that he knows…
"Yes, sir," Hawkeye replied. She noticed that Roy was not feeling well. But Breda and Havoc didn't.
"He probably picked up another homeless animal on the street, wanting General to take care of it," Havoc joked.
"Knowing Edward, you never know what comes up in his mind," Breda said.
"Are you going to accept the request?" Hawkeye asked him.
"I don't think General should," Havoc said. "It's all his childish play. General got his serious works…"
"Tell the Fuhrer that I accept Fullmetal's challenge," Roy interrupted. All three of his subordinates' eyes widened in surprise. They thought he would turn it down.
"Are…you sure?" Hawkeye asked him.
"Of course. He wants to challenge me. Let's see what he got."
---x---x---
Ed and Roy. The Fullmetal Alchemist faced the Flame Alchemist. Other soldiers and state alchemists may think it's just another mock battle between two state alchemists. Little could've they the consequences.
Ed stared at Roy. His eyes filled with hate and anger. He wanted to kill him, but he wouldn't. He would defeat him, he would punch his face hard. Then he would tell him about Winry's miscarriage. He wanted Roy to live with shame and embarrassment. That would be much worse than death. Roy looked at Ed. Seeing the fury in his eyes, Roy could guess that Ed knows about everything between him and Winry. Things would not be pretty. He closed his eyes, he saw Winry's face. He may have left Winry, but Winry's image would always haunt him, probably for the rest of his life.
"Ready!" the announcer announced in the center of arena. "Begin!" With that, he ran out of the arena.
Ed transmuted his automail into a sharp blade. He ran to Roy and attempted to stab him. Roy just simply snapped his finger with his gloved hand. The fire exploded. Ed jumped away. When the smoke was cleared, Ed was nowhere seen. Where did he go? Roy looked around, but then, the image of Winry flashed in his mind again. He could almost feel her soft skin and her silky hair. Roy shook his head and cleared her image from his mind. Then he realized that Ed was stabbing him from the behind.
Roy turned around and snapped his finger again. Ed didn't dodge or even run. Instead, he launched toward him, which shocked the audience. The explosion blew against him, but he did not back down. He was hurt, but he didn't seemed to care. He stabbed his blade toward Roy. He stopped suddenly before the blade reached his flesh. However, to the shock of his own, Roy grabbed his automail blade and stabbed it into his chest. Everyone was stunned.
Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist, fell down. He lied on the ground with blood flowing from his chest.
"Get a doctor!" Havoc, watching among the audience, shouted.
"Arrest the Fullmetal Alchemist!" The Fuhrer ordered. Two soldiers ran to Ed. But before they grabbed him, Roy told them to back down.
"Leave him, I took the blade…and stabbed myself…it wasn't him…"
Ed looked at Roy with disbelief. "Why?" he asked him, not sure if he was referring to Winry or to Roy's action.
"Because…because I can't live without her." That was Roy's reply.
"Then why did you leave her?" Ed asked him.
"Come here," Roy told him. "I'll tell you everything…."
Ed bended down, leaned close to him.
"I never…never intended to love her…but love her I did…I once said life will be meaningless without her…now without her, my life is unworthy to live…" then, Roy reached into his military jacket and took out a stack of letters. "Read these carefully…they are from the Fuhrer…you'll know…that both of us are his pawns…his creatures…he was the one who told me…to…do this to her…and I suppose that he was the one who told you…about me and her…She made her sacrifices for me...but when it was my turn to pay my sacrifice for her...I didn't...now this is the price I shall pay."
Ed nodded. He was speechless.
"Don't just stand here, Fullmetal…go to her…tell her that you love her…I can see it in your eyes…you are her hope…she loves you…"
"How could you know?" Ed asked.
"Because she told me…" Roy looked away from him. "Don't be angry at her…I'm the predator…she is the victim…tell her that now I'm gone…she doesn't have to suffer anymore…I heard that she is ill…"
"She had a miscarriage," Ed told him. It was cruel. Ed himself wasn't even sure if he told him just to hurt him or that he deserves to know because he was the father. "It was yours, I assume."
Roy stared blankly to the above. The scene when he shoved Winry on the floor flashed before his eyes. "Yeah…it was mine…but I didn't know…" With that said, Roy closed his eyes and breathed his last.
The soldiers gathered around them. They saluted to the Flame Alchemist. Later when Roy was buried, he was promoted again, two ranks up. But he would never live to see it.
---x---x---
Winry lied in her bed with Al, Pinako and her neighbor friend Nelly around her. Al did not tell Pinako the truth. He told her that Winry fell from the roof when she was trying to save a cat from falling. He was not so sure that Pinako would buy it. Pinako did not say a word. Winry's condition was all that mattered to her.
Ed had not yet returned. Her mind was wandering through her past. She was once an innocent child, who just wanted to play. She had two childhood friends, Ed and Al. They were like her brothers. Then, her parents were killed in the Ishbal War. She lost two people whom loved her dearly. But that was not the worst. On one fateful day, Ed and Al tried to revive their dead mother through human transmutation. Not only they failed, but Ed lost his limbs and Al lost his body. That fateful day had taken Ed away from her. Yet, in another sense, it brought her and Ed closer than ever, because Ed's automail was made by her. Ed was part of her. And she was part of him.
She loved Ed, of course. Not as a brother, but as a grown-up boy. She wanted Ed to stay at Resembool and marry her. But Ed just kept himself away from her, physically and emotionally. She felt so alone. Then there was Roy, a man who claimed that he loves her. She did not believe him. She did not want to believe him. But how did she ended up fell in love with him and carried his child? Because she wanted to be loved. Because she wanted to be cared. She found attachment on Roy. At the same time, she was completely forgot that this man was not only a womanizer, but also a deceiver. She was used to fulfill his sexual pleasure.
And what about her child? How did she felt when she was told that she had a miscarriage? She never knew the answer to that. Pinako did once taught her the consequence of having sex. She was blinded by the passion that she forgot about the possible consequences. She did not know that she was pregnant. She did not had the chance to enjoy the pleasure of having a life growing inside her. Perhaps that was why she did not feel any sorrow of losing the child. Why did she lose her baby? In the words of those religious people of the East, God had taken the child away because it was conceived by a sinner (NOTE: this is fictional. I'm talking about the point of view of fictional characters. This is not about any religion in the real life.) In the words of scientists, Roy had shove her too hard and the force he imposed on her caused her to lose the child. Whatever the explanation was, it didn't matter to her.
So, how would she live her life? She couldn't face her grandmother. She couldn't face Ed, who now hated her. She couldn't face Al. She was ashamed, embarrassed, hurt. She thought about Roy. If his passionate words were just lies, then what were the truths? Could it be that there is not such thing as true love in this world? Every man is a liar? And she thought about herself. If her love for Ed was real, then why did she fell for Roy? In a way, she had deceived Ed as well. If life was all just a lie, then what was the point of living in it?
Since Ed went to Central to face Roy, Winry hadn't eat much. She had lost a lot of blood through miscarriage. Now that her will to live was gone. To summarize it all, she was wasting away. But she did not die, not yet, because she was waiting for someone. She had waited for him for nearly four years. Now, she was waiting for him for the last time. Ed, where are you? Ed I miss you, come back…
Ed was on his way back to Resembool. Because Roy admitted that he stabbed himself with the blade, Ed was not to blame. The military did not give him much trouble. The Fuhrer, or the Homonculus Pride, did not arrest him. The Flame Alchemist always knew too much. One of his threats was gone, just like his best friend, General Maes Hughes. As for Ed, he decided to let other Homonculi to take care him, sooner or later.
Ed was rushing back to Resembool. Roy's words had awaken him. He realized that all this time, he loved no one else but Winry. And Winry loved him. But he was blinded from the truth. Maybe he just wanted to protect her from danger. His life was too dangerous, and he did not want to involve her in it.
If this was in a romantic play, then Ed would make it back in time and Winry would hear his words of love. However, sadly, they were living in a world of science. Scientifically, the train could not travel as fast, and Winry did not have much time. She died right at the moment when Ed stepped into her room. Ed shouted the words "I love you" to her. Did she hear it? No one knew…
Months ago, when she was watching the musical play "Come What May" in Central City, she had wished that Ed would confess his feelings to her while she was dying. Now, her wish was granted. When she was buried, those who attended her funeral later reported that they heard singing from the above:
Where do we go from here?
This isn't where we intended to be
How do we keep all our passions alive,
As we used to do?
Deep in my heart I'm concealing
Things that I'm longing to say
Scared to confess what I'm feeling
Frightened you'll slip away
You must love me
You must love me
Why are you at my side?
How can I be any use to you now?
Give me a chance and I'll let you see how
Nothing has changed
You must love me
You must love me
Author's Note: This is not the final chapter. Wait for it.