Chapter 30: Worse than Death
Obi-Wan scrutinized every move the droid made.
He stayed diligently by Satine's side as the medical droids performed treatments on the Duchess's injuries. Her pale, waxen face still contorted in lines of discomfort. A hissing of breath was her only retaliation from whatever the medical droids were doing. Obi-Wan would jumped to her aid, demanding the droids to stop, but they instructed it was necessary to keep her vitals normal.
Obi-Wan crossed his arms, rocking on his feet as Satine uneasily underwent an induced coma. A necessary step to continue treatment without her enduring any further pain. She looked so cold, almost frozen by the way she laid so still. Obi-Wan touched her hand. Not cold, but neither warm. He held her nimble fingers and brushed a kiss on top.
"I'm so sorry," he murmured as the medical droid moved around to finalize everything.
"My Lord," the droid addressed Obi-Wan, who flinched at his newest title. Dooku didn't waste any time in alerting the palace. The droid pulled away from the bed. "She'll need proper rest for the night."
Obi-Wan understood. She was not to be disturbed. Obi-Wan had no plans to awaken the Duchess. He let her rest and regain strength from her ordeal. She deserved the peace.
He didn't leave her alone though. He stayed by the bed, hand holding onto hers. He stayed awake, watching her chest rise and fall in steady motions. All signs of improving health.
He lost track of time when the doors to his room opened again. At first, Obi-Wan expected a medical droid zoom in and complete a follow-up. Instead, he was resigned to a much crueler fate.
Qui-Gon Jinn entered the room. Eyes fallen onto Satine's still form. Melancholy flickered in those tainted blue irises as he surveyed her prone body on the bed. He didn't move any closer from where he stood. A respectable distance in Qui-Gon's mind.
Obi-Wan chose to ignore Qui-Gon. For how long they were to remain silent was entirely up to the Sith Lord.
Not very long he supposed as Qui-Gon ended their bout of silence with a question. "How is she?"
"Why do you care?" Obi-Wan's voice barely cracked above a whisper. "You got what you wanted. You no longer have to pretend."
There was a long and drawn out sigh. A soft squeak of the carpet informing Obi-Wan that someone was moving closer. "I'm not pretending," Qui-Gon restituted. "I am genuinely concerned for the Duchess's well-being."
It took all of Obi-Wan's strength not to turn around and cuff Qui-Gon in the face. He kept his hand on Satine's and held on for dear life. "Your actions and previous statements say otherwise," Obi-Wan tersely stated. "You have no regard for her."
"Don't mistake me as Dooku, young one."
"And don't mistake me as some naïve boy!" Obi-Wan shouted in return, now glaring up at Qui-Gon. "You think I don't know what this is? She's a bargaining tool to keep me in line." He turned away from the Sith Lord, no longer interested. Satine needed his attention. But, Obi-Wan couldn't help but utter a parting of words. "Just like I am."
A soft swish followed by tap alerted Obi-Wan that Qui-Gon drew closer. A shadow fell over him and Satine, and Obi-Wan felt Qui-Gon's presence beside him and tensed. He instinctively moved to the edge of his seat, balancing on the balls of his feet in preparation to shield Satine from harm.
"You are not a tool," Qui-Gon attested in quiet passion, "and neither is the Duchess. I was not aware of Dooku's plan. He did not tell me and if he had, I would not have allowed it."
Fingers curled underneath Obi-Wan's chin and his gaze was diverted from Satine's ill form to Qui-Gon, who pulled up a chair and sat beside him. Qui-Gon's visage took on something akin to sorrow and sympathy. His eyes looked troubled and his lips thinned and sloped down in line with one who empathized. "I am sorry, Obi-Wan," he insisted and nudged his head to Satine. "I do not wish this upon you."
Obi-Wan fleered. "Another lie," he muttered and lifted his chin out of Qui-Gon's hold. "If you do not wish this for me, then you would let us go."
Qui-Gon sighed. "We already went through this—"
"Exactly!" Obi-Wan snapped. "You have no need to lie to me. I know what I am and I know why I am here."
Qui-Gon huffed at the outburst. "Enlighten me then," he said, dryly. "Why are you here?"
"Anakin." Obi-Wan deadpanned. "You need me to control Anakin."
A mirthful smile twitched behind that beard. "Do we?"
Obi-Wan swiveled in his seat so that he looked directly at Qui-Gon. A low growl rumbled from his lips. "I may have sacrificed my soul, but I will not sacrifice Anakin's," he bitingly returned. "I will not help you turn him into a weapon. I would rather we both die than become monsters."
"You don't mean that," Qui-Gon quickly brushed Obi-Wan declaration as if to refuse or even acknowledge the threat as nothing than a tantrum.
Obi-Wan furrowed his brows, a deep groove coming forming. "Death is far more preferable than what you plan to do to us."
He watched the monumental shift in Qui-Gon's posture. Muscles in the Sith Lord's face tightened. His gaze dangerously narrowed and all sense of sympathy vanished. Cold silence followed and Obi-Wan couldn't stop his muscles from tensing as darkness stirred. The Force grew static, an electric storm brewing as swells of the Force's currents pulled at him. Obi-Wan braced and shielded himself from the Dark Side as it lapped up the sides of his bubbled shield.
Qui-Gon pursed his lips. "I see," he finally said. He rose from his chair and Obi-Wan hoped Qui-Gon was taking his leave. It was unfortunate that Qui-Gon didn't storm off in the direction in the door. Instead, he shot a mix of a glance and a glare at Obi-Wan before he dropped a hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder. "Come with me."
Obi-Wan's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "You cannot be serious?" he asked, incredulity. He shrugged Qui-Gon's hand off. "I will not leave Satine alone in this state."
His rejection was dismissed. Qui-Gon snatched his arm and yanked Obi-Wan up off his seat. Obi-Wan kicked out, aiming for Qui-Gon's shins. He missed and swung his body so violently to one side he would have smack his face on the floor if it wasn't for Qui-Gon holding him up.
"Am I mistaken?" Qui-Gon questioned, sounding peeved, "or did you not swear obedience?"
That single reminder abruptly ended Obi-Wan's resistance. He slackened as he remembered kneeling in front of Dooku and surrendering his honor and duty before him. A sacrifice he willing made to save Satine. Obi-Wan looked over his shoulder to where his love laid comatose on the bed.
Qui-Gon must have read his thoughts for his fingers eased from Obi-Wan's arm. "You can do nothing for her now, Obi-Wan," he said in much softer and compassionate tone. "I'll have one of the guards stand watch. No harm shall come to her. You have my word."
It did not relieve any of the tension. Nothing would quell Obi-Wan's anxiety that coursed through his heart unless it was he who stood guard. Yet, he had no freedom to allow it. No power to command it. He was bound to listen and follow. Like he must do now.
He returned to his feet, shoulders drooped as he stopped fighting against Qui-Gon's directions. He gave a short, curt bow of his head that was passable as respectful. "Thank you," he managed to say to Qui-Gon in a civil voice. "I… I appreciate it."
It sounded false on his tongue, but as long as it sounded convincing, that was all he needed. Civility was all he could afford to shield himself from unnecessary punishment. He remembered Dooku's lessons on civilized behaviors well.
Qui-Gon steered Obi-Wan back to the door. "I'll have them contact me if anything goes wrong," he reassured Obi-Wan as Qui-Gon led him out of his prison. "Now—let's go."
Night descended on the Temple and every young Jedi went promptly to their small cots to sleep. Anakin did too. He took his bed in the corner like he did every night since arriving. Master Krav turned the lights off and Anakin threw the blankets over him. He stayed in that position for a very long time despite the difficulty of breathing. Once he was certain no one would see him, he acted.
Carefully, he removed himself from the blanket, replacing his body with a pillow. He slid down to the floor and reached underneath the bed. He found Obi-Wan's lightsaber. Exactly where he hid it so Master Krav wouldn't take it from him. He latched it onto his belt and on his belly, sliding across the floor and underneath other sleeping cots.
No one noticed. All have fallen asleep and even a few were muttering nonsense as Anakin passed. But no one woke up to him moving. He was quiet as he stealthy made his way to the door. He checked his exit points. No sight of any Jedi lurkers. On the tip of his toes, Anakin slipped through the door and out onto the empty, silent corridor. Sticking to the shadows, he recalled the path he needed to take to return to the hanger. From there, he could wire up a ship and go after Obi-Wan.
At that time of night, there were barely any Jedi patrolling the corridors and Anakin had no problems making his way to the hanger. It too was empty of mechanics and Jedi. Only filled with speeders, bikes and ships ready to fly out. Anakin surveyed the hanger first to reaffirm he didn't miss anything or anyone. Positive the hanger was empty, Anakin bolted to the starfighter.
He reached the ladder, ready to climb when he heard gentle thumps of a stick hitting the marble floorings. Anakin jumped at the noise, twisting around to discover he was not alone as he suspected. The diminutive Jedi Master Yoda stood but mere yards away from him. There was no sign of shock or anger emitting from the Jedi. He clutched his gimer stick, leaning into it as he observed Anakin.
"Going somewhere, hmm?" hummed Master Yoda.
Anakin could lie. Feed him a story about how he couldn't sleep. But, Anakin saw in the Jedi's eye that lying would be wasteful and insulting on their intelligence.
"I'm going to save Obi-Wan," Anakin stated as he grabbed hold of the ladder.
Master Yoda hummed again, but his tone was flat. "How plan you on saving him, hmm?" he questioned, ears perking up. He raised one of his clawed fingers to Anakin's belt. "With a lightsaber, hmm? Give you that, we did not."
Anakin reached down for Obi-Wan's lightsaber. "It's mine."
"Know how to use it do you, hmm?"
Of course he knew how to use it. Obi-Wan taught him. "I can fight."
Master Yoda's ears rose high, his eyes widened in intrigue. "He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight," he stepped closer, but not in a threatening manner which required Anakin to ready resistance. "If you leave now, lose, you will. Fail Obi-Wan, you will."
"I already failed him," Anakin said, a deep frown on his face and his eyebrows pinched in anger as he thought of the days he wasted at the Temple rather than rescuing Obi-Wan. "I won't let him suffer anymore. I'm going to save him! And no one will stop me."
The Force soughed between them. Deep disappointment and sympathy suffused the gap and Anakin got the feeling that Master Yoda approved and condemned his feelings and effort. His age showed. The hunched shoulders, the creases deepening into his leathery skin and the stringy grey hair all pointed to a being that seen and experienced far too much. And his deep, controlled breaths were the only thing supporting him.
The only thing that flared with life was the Jedi Master's eyes. Vivid and spectacular. Wise and knowing. Confident and content. There was something tricky in Master Yoda. Anakin sensed it all in a single glance.
Master Yoda humphed at Anakin's proclamation. "If beat you, no one can," he said, "then you, no trouble fighting me, should have."
Master Yoda shrugged off his robe and dropped the gimer stick to the side. "If beat me in a duel, you can, then you fly off I shall let," he gambled as he reverently drew out his lightsaber. "If you cannot, stay, you must."
Anakin took one look from the Master Yoda's lightsaber to his face. The Grand Master of the Jedi Order was nearing nine hundred years old. He used a walking stick, moving slowly across the hanger. Did Master Yoda have a death wish? Or maybe dementia?
Either way, Anakin turned away from the ladder and pulled out Obi-Wan's lightsaber. It's going to be an easy win.
Anakin turned on the lightsaber, drawn to the lowest power. Master Yoda mimicked him. The green blade sprouted out from the cylinder.
The lightsabers hummed in union.
Anakin charged. His blade thrusted near the old Jedi's throat. But, Anakin never got close. Like watching in slow motion, Master Yoda stepped aside and brushed Anakin's blade away. Anakin tried again, but Master Yoda easily slapped the blade away from his face.
Anakin jumped and flipped over Master Yoda, striking blows with Obi-Wan's blade. He remembered his training, copying the katas Obi-Wan instructed as he tried to get a hit on Master Yoda. But the diminutive Jedi barely moved during the duel. He stayed in his exact position, parrying and blocking every single thrush Anakin made against him.
Nothing Anakin did worked. Master Yoda effortlessly dodged his strikes like it was child's play. Anakin withdrew, rethinking of another plan of attack. But that was when Master Yoda became animated. He launched himself up in the air, spinning in the air right at Anakin.
Anakin dove to the side, narrowly missing the green blade by his arm. Anakin brought up the lightsaber to counter-strike Master Yoda's slashes, but the Jedi Master leapt again, somersaulting over Anakin. He landed in perfect balance behind Anakin. Reversing his grip, Anakin swung his blade back and stopped Master Yoda's hard thrust. He spun the blade around, stepping off to refocus.
But Master Yoda refused that time. He charged onward, closing the gap Anakin desperately tried to widen. He kept skipping backwards as he parried off Master Yoda's cunning strikes as he spun from one part of the room to the next. He never let up. Never surrendered.
Anakin's vitality dwindled into sloppy parries against Master Yoda's attacks. He went low to hit the Master Jedi, but Master Yoda never stayed grounded. He kept spinning and flipping and somersaulting around him that Anakin thought his vision was failing him. Anakin was puzzled by Master Yoda's sudden change in vivacity. One moment, the diminutive Jedi inched across the hanger and now, he was a flexible gymnast that flew easily through the air. It shocked Anakin that the Master Jedi masked his fighting spirit. He may be nine hundred years old, but he fought with the energy of a young being.
Master Yoda came down hard against Anakin's blade. His lightsaber cackled and hissed upon impact and Anakin twisted his wrist to spin the green Jedi away. But Master Yoda predicted the move and countered it by ducking, leaving an opening for him on Anakin's wrist. Master Yoda's green blade tapped Anakin's wrist, an uncomfortable burn scorching his skin.
Anakin yelped. Obi-Wan's blade slipped from his grip and clattered to the floor as he recoiled his hand. Defenseless, Master Yoda crouched low and kicked out, swiping Anakin off his feet. Anakin crashed to the floor, wincing as a shock ran up his bones. Sore, Anakin winced as he pushed himself up to continue the fight. He couldn't lose! Not with so much at stake.
Blurred vision, Anakin sought for Obi-Wan's blade. It was a few feet away. Anakin stretched his hand out to call the lightsaber to him. The lightsaber shook and then it flipped up into the air, spiraling madly through the air. Only, it didn't go straight to Anakin's outstretched hand.
It went to Master Yoda's hand.
With a lightsaber in each claw, Master Yoda brought the blue and green blades down upon Anakin's face. Anakin scooted away, eyes alight with blue and green hues. He flickered from the blades to Master Yoda. It was over.
Chest swelling as he panted for air, Anakin regrettably surrendered.
Master Yoda accepted the surrender in silence. He powered off both lightsabers and hooked them to his belt as trophies of his winning.
Anakin trembled as he stared at Obi-Wan's confiscated lightsaber on Master Yoda's utility belt. He lost it. His only hope of rescuing Obi-Wan from the Sith Lords' captivity was taken from him in such an embarrassing and undignifying manner. Reeling from the loss, Anakin pulled himself up into a sitting position, eyes straining to rein in the frenzy of emotions that wrecked him.
Master Yoda looked on in pity. And Anakin hated him for it. "Sorry," Master Yoda offered as condolence. "I am sorry, young one."
Tears brimmed his eyes. "No you're not!" cried Anakin. "You… you don't care at all! You condemned him to death!"
"Death is always the worst thing to happen in life not."
Of course he believed that. But in Anakin's experience, it was. Death was unforgiving and left nothing. It took everything. "Then you've never lived," accused Anakin. "You… none of you understand! You live in this fortress and preach principles that have nothing to do with real life!"
Master Yoda's shoulders dropped as he shook his head. "Lived a very long life, I have. Met many people. And far too many heroics and tragedies, witnessed," he said as he toddled over to his discarded robe and gimer stick. "Sadness, I know. Pain, I know. I know."
He pulled on his robe. "Powerful, I also know that the Sith are. If you could defeat me not, then defeat them you would not," he warned to Anakin. "Fail, you will, if go."
"I've beaten them before!"
"Ha!" Master Yoda jeered. "To doom, your arrogance already brought you."
Anakin frowned, a familiar groove driving between his eyebrows. "So what? You want me to forget about Obi-Wan? Let him suffer and die?" Anakin shook his head. "I can't do that. I won't do that to him!"
Master Yoda scrutinized Anakin. "Honor your deal, you must."
"I have to save Obi-Wan!"
"If you go," Master Yoda gravely warned. "Then betray him, you will. For you Obi-Wan sacrificed his existence. Throw his parting gift away, do not."
That gave Anakin pause. Sitting on the floor, breathless, Anakin remembered all the times Obi-Wan spared him the sight of danger. How often Obi-Wan told him to run or find a place to hide. Even now, this past week, Obi-Wan sacrificed his freedom for Anakin's own safety. Could he possibly forfeit the very thing Obi-Wan desperately strove to do? His guilty heart hung. No, he supposed he could not sacrifice the very thing Obi-Wan lived his life for.
At that dawning and damning revelation, Anakin stifled his cries and controlled his spasming muscles. Not exactly looking at Master Yoda, he nodded his comprehension of what Master Yoda drilled into his thick skull. "No, I… I do not want to throw it all the way," he said dropping his head. "But I do not want him to suffer for me."
"Suffer more if you were caught, he would," Master Yoda brought up his gimer stick and returned next to Anakin. "As I said, things much worse than death, there are."
"But Obi-Wan—"
"Strong, he is," Master Yoda affirmed. "Stronger than you know. For three years he lived under the Sith. Survive and persevere again, he can."
Anakin was well aware of how long Obi-Wan survived under the Sith's hardships. Didn't mean he wanted him to do it all over again. He tilted his head back, lost as to what to do. "What do I do now?"
"Return to your room, you will. Sleep, you need," Master Yoda advised. "To the Force, honor Obi-Wan's sacrifice by training and listening. Have patience. Soon, the path to stop the Sith, revealed, will be."
Master Yoda gestured Anakin to rise to his feet. Stiffly, Anakin weakly returned to his feet. His legs and arms were heavy from exhaustion, but he gathered his bearings and walked to the exit with Master Yoda beside him. They said nothing more. Anakin moved slowly, but Master Yoda did not speak of his dragging. Anakin ruminated on the last image he saw of Obi-Wan. The feelings of great sorrow and pain pricked his mind, but it passed as it came.
They reached the crèche Anakin fled from earlier. They stood outside the door and Anakin reached for the scanner to grant entrance. His hand was stopped by Master Yoda.
"To you I believe this belongs."
The Jedi Master unclipped Obi-Wan's lightsaber and pressed it into Anakin's palm. Anakin was surprised. He flipped his perplexed gaze from the lightsaber to Master Yoda. He didn't understand. He believed Master Yoda was to hold the lightsaber hostage.
Master Yoda saw his confusion. "Want you to keep it safe for him, Obi-Wan would," he clarified. "Hold onto it and lose not it for this weapon is your life."
Obi-Wan said the same thing to him. And Anakin nearly cost them both their lives through his own arrogance and ignorance. He curled his fingers around the hilt of the lightsaber, squeezing it in reassurance. The pulse he sensed in the Force almost tricked Anakin into believing he was actually holding Obi-Wan's life in his hands.
It made him sadder. "Thank you, Master Yoda," he murmured as he clipped the lightsaber to his belt.
Master Yoda gave a single nod. "May the Force be with you, young Skywalker."
Anakin slipped into the crèche. Everyone was still asleep. Master Krav was the only one awake. When Anakin entered, she immediately confronted him, scolding him for his sneaking out. She sentenced him to three laps around the Jedi Temple's perimeter as punishment, but for now he was to return to his cot and sleep.
Anakin did. He fell back onto his cot and closed his eyes. He didn't fall asleep right away. Not when both his head and heart were utterly destroyed in the fact he could do nothing to save his only family. And how utterly close he was to destroying them both.