A/N: Another chapter for you courtesy of the fact I've got my dorm room to myself tonight and thanks to this genius inspiration spurt that had me going till 3AM on 7 hours sleep and despite the fact that in less than 12 hours, I'm going to have to deal with my two 2-year old cousins. It's because I love you all! (restrains urge to write more) Ooh but this is so much fun, pleeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase? Yeeheehee! Okay, definitely time to go to sleep now. Goodnight! Enjoy!

Two weeks later: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I would have said this when I wrote this two weeks ago, but as you could plainly see, I was hyped up on excitement from finishing this chapter and lack of sleep. Sorry I didn't mention all my lovely reviews then, I just didn't have enough brain cells at that moment to think...I seriously love reviews...They make my day like you wouldn't believe. Please sir, can I have some more?

-AEM

Wedding Bells and Bomb Shells

Chapter 25 – The Morning After Part Two

"McIntyre, this is the most useless activity I've ever participated in" Charles complained.

"You're free to leave, Winchester" pointed out Trapper, not looking away from the direction in which he was facing.

Charles considered this for a brief second. "Well, maybe not that pointless"

The two Boston surgeons were currently crouched behind a corner of wall, watching the excavators sift through the rubble from the explosion. Trapper had gotten restless of sitting around and waiting practically almost soon as he had begun and had decided that he was going to figure out who had set the bomb. How wasn't clear, but Trapper didn't care.

Charles had joined him, more to keep him out of jail than anything, so he said, but secretly, he had been slightly anxious himself. A few years ago, back in Korea, he had prided himself on not caring about anyone, but even then, Margaret had been the first one he cared about. They had always gotten on extremely well together and sometimes, especially in the last few years, Charles had found himself wishing she were his sister, as opposed to Honoria. As for Hunnicut, Charles remembered telling him once, the time right before the war ended where BJ had thought himself to be discharged only for his orders to be resended a week later, that people who share a tent can get somewhat close as time goes on and though at the time, Charles had followed that sentence with one stating that this hadn't happened in their case, he had lied. Even then, he secretly had never minded Hunnicut, they had worked well together, be it in surgery, or in practical joking. Even though he had always teased him andtreated him likean irritating housefly that wouldn't go away,Hunnicut was a good guy, and the fact that this man who had come to be his ally at times and the fact that this woman who he had come to feel a great deal for might be dead had gnawed at Charles until he had offered to help Trapper in his search for clues of who the bomber was. Charles hated this man; this man who had ruined so many lives, ruined Pierce's and Margaret's memories of their wedding (if Margaret was even capable of having memories anymore, that is, this thought making Charles sick to his stomach) forever. Charles Emerson Winchester III (for now at least) would be dammed to the firey gates of hell before he would let this person who had endangered his friends' lives go free.

Despite all this, he still wasn't sure what watching the excavators would achieve.

"McIntyre," he addressed his fellow spy once again "What praytell does watching the excavators achieve? I highly doubt that watching them will tell us who blew up the ballroom, so what are we doing here?"

Trapper turned to Charles "Right now, I'm just trying to see if they're any closer to finding BJ or Margaret. Peg just left and I thought it'd be nice to be able to tell her that they're close to finding her husband, even if they've only found his hand" he explained "If it's boring you, go talk to Hawkeye."

Charles stood up and glared at the curly-haired surgeon "For the record, McIntyre, it is not boredom that's causing me to leave, it's…"

"…sitting here watching isn't helping take your mind off anything" finished up Trapper

"Exactly" Charles said quietly and walked away.

"Any news?" asked a voice, startling Charles from his thoughts

Charles looked up into the piercing blue eyes of Hawkeye. Mirrored in his eyes was this hope that Charles hadn't seen in his friend's eyes since before the explosion.

"Nothing" Charles said and watched as the light that had come on with hope that his wife and his best friend would very soon be all right die. "I'm sorry" For some reason, it seemed appropriate to say this, Charles would never know why.

Hawkeye smiled faintly and sat back down at the table and put his head in his hands.

"Do you want to…er…talk about it?" Charles pitied him, but it still felt odd to be expressing compassion to this man whom he had always masked any sort of feelings for.

Hawkeye grinned sarcastically at him "Feeling all right there, Charles?"

"Oh do be quiet, Pierce, I'm trying to help you" snapped Charles irritably

Hawkeye sobered "I know. I'm sorry, I appreciate it, but there's nothing to say really, other than I wanted to be married to Margaret for more than six hours and that I was looking forward to having kids with her and having them grow up to be friends with BJ's kids and my kids being the only kids in Crabapple Cove, Maine to have friends in Mill Valley, California. Kinda stupid, I guess, but then again, it's always been the little things that amuse me, as you said to me once"

"On the contrary, Pierce, it's not stupid that you wanted a life with the woman you love and that you want that life to last, in fact it's admirable. You're a lucky man to have that; a woman that you met during abysmal circumstances and fell in love with you anyway (though why is unimaginable), a friend like Hunnicut, who you can depend on to be there in anything, a father who worries for you and would do quite possibly anything for you…"

"Whoa, wait a minute, Charles, how'd my father get into this?" Hawkeye interrupted

"I was merely reassuring you that Margaret and Hunnicut would get out of this." Charles explained, angrily

"No, I don't think so…"

"Oh do you?" Charles glared at him

"Yeah I do cause this is the second time in two days you've gotten annoyed when the mention of your own parents came up." Hawkeye pointed out "I think something's going on between you and your parents…"

"I don't have to tell you anything!" Charles outraged, pushing back his chair, angrily

"I never said anything happened, I said I thought something happened, you just admitted to it, my friend" Hawkeye reasoned, rubbing his hands together gleefully.

Charles sneered at the dark-haired surgeon "I despise you, Pierce"

"No you don't"

"Oh, but I do…"

"How come you invited me to talk about what I was feeling about my wife and best friend quite possibly being dead, but when it comes down to you telling something, you get snooty?"

"Snooty, now there's a college word…"

"Don't change the subject! How come I'm forced to admit something personal to you, but when it comes down to you telling something to me…"

"Because…!" roared Charles, then stopped and looked off into the distance, avoiding Hawkeye's eyes

"Because…" prompted Hawkeye "Care to finish, Charles?"

Charles' eyes snapped back to glower at Hawkeye "No!" he sneered, but his look then softened "Yes…" he said quieter "Or I would, if I had a real reason"

"Besides the fact that it would go against this 'Don't let anybody into your personal life' policy that you've had since the moment I met you" added Hawkeye, a slight bitter edge to his voice "This façade of remaining aloof and like you think you're better than us and God's gift to surgery and the medical profession and that you're perfect and your whole life is perfect that you wear. Or rather, that you wanted us to think you were perfect and that your whole life is perfect, but I'm here to tell you, Charles, that nobody's perfect, not even you and I've known you for too long to believe you when you say everything's all right, when clearly it's not. So, come on, Charles, I might not be the happiest guy on the planet right now, but I'm a good listener and I'd like to think I'm your friend and it'll make you feel better to get it off of your chest."

Charles had been avoiding Hawkeye's eyes again, but at this last sentence, Hawkeye finally caught Charles' eyes and fixed him with a piercing stare, that, to Charles, seemed to be penetrating through more than his just eyes, but rather, his soul.

"All right, Pierce" Charles gave in, finally "You're right (and by the way, that will be the only time you ever hear that phrase coming out of my mouth). You were right to think something is going on between me and my parents." Charles grinned a bit ruefully "I know all isn't perfect in my life, in fact, nothing is perfect with my life, really, my life is far far from perfect"

"But you always made it appear to us that it was" pointed out Hawkeye "Why, Charles?"

"You said it yourself, Pierce. It went against my façade of believing myself to be perfect, but for my entire life up to the first year I joined you in that abysmal hell of ours, that's what I thought myself to be. I was raised to be this proper, well-behaved…"

"…rich, arrogant, snob" supplied Hawkeye

Charles couldn't help but laugh "Yes, Pierce, exactly. I was brought up to think that if I was not perfect, I had no business being a Winchester, so I had to try my damndest to be as perfect as I could, to try to please my father, but no matter what I did it was never enough. I played the piano, Honoria did it better. I made superior grades in school, was school valedictorian, and became the fourth generation of Winchesters to get into Harvard, my father asks me four years later why I couldn't have won a full scholarship like Honoria just had. He never even congratulated me for getting into Harvard. He was away on business the week I found out, and when he came back, he didn't even hear me when I told him, for Honoria was telling him how she had made first chair in her viola orchestra. I graduated medical school, for God's sake, and both my parents went to Honoria's piano recital instead…."

"No offense, Charles, but it sounds like a bit of jealousy to me"

"No, it was more than that" Charles said, tight-lipped "Honoria and I got along famously as children, up till when I returned from Korea.It's just now that my eyes have been opened and I realize that I've missed something all along. I always had an excuse, for every event of mine they missed, for every time I presented something to my father that I expected to be praised for, but instead received only ridicule. I always told myself that I wasn't good enough, I wasn't perfect enough for my father and I needed to try harder, harder than I already was and it's taken me till now to realize that I never will be perfect enough for him. And it's taken me till about ten minutes from that realization to realize that I don't care. As a child, my father never once praised me, or told me he loved me or even acknowledged my existence unless it was to tell me I hadn't done well enough for him. I was 24 before he looked away from Honoria long enough to realize that I was an adult and began to talk to me as an equal and was able to hold a conversation that had nothing to do with my, to him, imperfection, though, still that was an all too frequent conversation. I was taught from a young age to accept nothing less than perfection. To be a Winchester was to be perfect, and though, my father always said nothing else about me was perfect, the fact I had been born into the family made me that much closer to perfection, and because I was looking for a nod of acceptance from my father, I hung onto that little bit of encouragement, the only I had ever received from him, tooth and nail. I was taught that money was the only thing that mattered in the world and I took all these misinformations with me to Korea, along with a rather large chip on my shoulder. For my entire life, I had trusted my family, gone to them for encouragement and fears and…love and every single time, I had been turned away. That begins to hurt after a while, so after a while, I just stopped trusting anyone just to stop the pain and used the arrogance I had been taught to my advantage…" Charles trailed off and stared into the distance, while Hawkeye stared at him, speechless

"…Wow, Charles, I had no idea…" he said finally

"That was the idea. I didn't trust anybody to care, most certainly not this group of people I barely knew when a group of people I had known for my entire life refused to care. I refused to let anyone in, for fear of getting hurt again."

"We just thought it was because you thought yourself to be better than us, that you thought us not worthy to breathe the same air that you did, never mind live in the same area"

"That's what you were supposed to think" smiled Charles, ruefully "And that's what I believed at first. You all were poor and I was taught that money led to perfection, which was what I was trying to achieve, therefore, because I was closer to perfection, I was better then all of you. But, somehow, you did break into the little protective bubble I built, you took me down a few notches and none of you will ever havea full idea of exactly how much I appreciate the fact that you did. I have no idea how you did it, but I'm glad you did."

"Charles, as interesting as that story was, what does that have to do with this problem you're having with your parents?" Hawkeye asked

"Just getting to that, Pierce, my god, you're like a small child with attention problems, sometimes" Charles grinned to let his former roommate that he was joking "Even though I was quite a number of years out of school and though I thought myself to know all that I needed to know, I received an education, in the year and a half I was in Korea; one that I desperately needed. The war taught me there was more important things in life than the next, best social event of the season, more to life than money and that all the medical know-how, I had learned in order to gain my much-coveted perfection, all the medical knowledge in the world was not enough to save everyone. That I couldn't save everybody. I thought myself 'God's gift to surgery and the medical career', as you said, and it took me a long while to realize that I was not as skilled as I thought myself to be. You all had a part in teaching me that, as well. You also taught me that it was quite possible to be accepted for the man I was, imperfections and all and that there were people out there that could look past all that, see me for who I am, who would be thereand who would not let me down the way my parents had. I took this knowledge with me back to Boston after the war ended, this new outlook on life that I hadn't wanted, but somehow ended up with anyway. I had been happy with the way my life had been, well maybe not happy, but it was all I knew. Then, I went back to Boston and my first reaction was how shallow it all was. How shallow they all were, my family, that is. I stopped looking for my father's approval (the kicker was that he didn't even seem to notice) and I started looking for things and doing things that would please me, not my parents. My parents and Honoria went around their business, I went around mine, I barely talked to them because I rarely had anything to say to them and they didn't talk to me either since we have absolutely nothing in common anymore. They never asked me anything about the war, or anything like that. Korea, the 4077th, anything like that was never brought up in the house, not because someone made a rule about it, but simply because I didn't want to talk about it, and they never had any interest in me to ask me, until the day I received the invitation to your and Margaret's wedding, when I accidentally let my amusement and amazement out in front of them. In an act of interest I never would have thought possible from them, they asked me what was in my letter, and in an act of vagueness I never would have thought possible from myself, I told them. They told me that they would actually be interested in coming because this meant something to me. To me. Words I never would have thought I would ever hear from them, words I hadn't cared whether I heard from them for a few years now, but there they were…until Honoria got a letter from the Governor's Palace in England, inviting us to the Governor's Ball for this selfsame weekend, and wouldn't you know it, my parents actually had the gall to ask me if I would give up coming here because the entire family was invited and wouldn't settle for less and Honoria's been waiting for an invitation to the Governor's Ball since she was a child. My father and I began arguing, and I let out all the feelings I had been holding in all these years…some feelings I didn't even realize were there. Pieces I didn't put fully together till that moment about how I felt I could never live up to Honoria, despite the fact that she is four years younger than me, how I felt that they had never been there for me because they were always there for her and only her. My mother called me immature and spoiled, my sister just sat there and smirked at me because she knew that if I stayed, she would get her way, as always, and I wanted her not to get her way for the first time ever in our lives, so I told them all I was leaving, but not before my father threatened me with disinheriting and disowning if I left. I left anyway"

Hawkeye again was speechless. "Charles…"

"I've been thinking of the name 'Smith', what do you think, Pierce?" Charles interrupted, with a grim smirk on his face"Too ordinary? Because I think so and I think that's exactly what I'm looking for..."

"Whoa, Charles, slow down a minute. You've been disowned and disinherited?"

"Yes, I have. Paperwork will probably be going through any day now. In fact, it's probably sitting on my desk at my office as that's the only other address the family lawyers know me to be reached at, other than the mansion, where I'd rather perform an autopsy on myself before showing my face there ever again" snorted Charles

"You've been disowned and disinherited because you wanted to come to my wedding?"

"Yes, Pierce, which part of that didn't you understand? I mean, I know you can be slow at times…"

"Charles, shut up!" Hawkeye still looked very overwhelmed and shocked at this information "You were threatened with disowning and disinheriting if you came to my wedding and you came anyway" This was more a statement than a question.

"Yes" responded Charles, then looked straight into Hawkeye's eyes "The way I saw it, Pierce, was I would rather be associated with the people that saw beyond my insecure arrogance, my bragging and my attempts at perfection rather than the people who encouraged it in the first place"

The two colleagues…the two men…the two friends looked long at each other, these looks saying much more than any words that either of them could find that they would be comfortable with could say.

"Winchester!" called a voice, snapping the two men from their thoughts, but not before each man emerged with more respect then either ever thought they would ever feel for the other, or that they ever would have thought possible for the other to feel for them.

Trapper ran up to Charles, breathless "Winchester! You'll never believe…Oh hi, Hawkeye" Trapper addressed his friend, whom he hadn't seen when he first ran up to Charles

"Hi Trapper" Hawkeye said, amused at how Trapper had greeted him like he was fully surprised to see him there "What will Charles never believe?"

"Oh, that…um…" Trapper looked visibly uncomfortable, something that Hawkeye never would have expected one of his oldest friend to feel about him "You know, never mind, it's not important. Hey, Hawk, let's play gin…of course we won't have our special gin, but we'll have to make do"

"I think it is important or else you wouldn't have run (an activity you never participate in, may I remind you?) to find Charles. What is it, Trap, we never used to have secrets…"

Trapper looked at Hawkeye sadly "Hawk, I really wanna tell you, you gotta believe me, but this shouldn't be the way you hear about it..."

"This isn't about Margaret or BJ, is it?" Hawkeye asked, straining to keep his voice neutral, despite his rapidly growing panic

"Oh, no nothing like that" Trapper quickly assured "I mean, it sort-of has to do with them, but…no, no, it's not that" Trapper glanced at Charles and shot him a look which his fellow Boston surgeon easily understood. Charles nodded his head tersely once, and Trapper looked back at Hawkeye, who had been following the looks between Trapper and Charles and whose face was displaying a look somewhere in between all out panic and flat out annoyance at the fact that they were hiding secrets from him "It's…it's…god, Hawk…" Trapper ran a hand through his curly blonde hair, and glanced again at Charles before looking back at Hawkeye and continuing. "I think…no, scratch that…I know who the bomber is…"

A/N: Ooh one more thing! And review! Please? I love reviews! I've gotten such good reviews so far and I love knowing what you think! I love hearing from you! It seriously makes my day! I'll make it worth your while…Remember…sequel and prequel (tempts) Does that work? Seriously, though, anyone interested in reading a sequel and/or a prequel? Let me know in your review! Thanks!

-AEM