Hey, everyone! I'm back!

So, yeah, it's been a while since I last updated this story. Sorry about that. I've been busy with my 'My Name is Caleb' story, now completed. If you're into the Owl House and haven't read it, please give it a read.

Anyway, now that I'm back on Something More, I'm starting off with another Fiona chapter. Don't like it? Don't care. Yeah, yeah.

I do not own 'Adventure Time'.

Chapter 32

Fiona the Lost Human of Aaa (part 3)

In the endless darkness, all Finn could hear was that eerie laughter. The evil laugh sounded amused and entertained, as well as gloating. Finn could practically hear the smug smile in the laughter.

"And you call yourself a hero." the Lich King mocked. "You abandon and betray your own. You fornicate with an undead monster. And then, you murder a woman who saw you as a nephew. How deliciously cold."

"I…I did what I had to do." Finn said. "I just wanted to protect my friends."

"And so you betray your people and kill a family friend?" the Lich asked. "You started this journey of yours as a lost child. Then you became a pretender, seeking glory and fame. And now…heh, heh, heh…now, you are a murderer."

"Shut up!" Finn yelled into the darkness.

"I do not mean to be judgmental, child." said the Lich. "In fact…I am quite proud of you. Isn't death such a grand solution to one's problems?"

The dark void filled with the Lich's hysterical laughter.

"Look, he's waking up!"

Finn moaned and made an attempt to open his eyes. He finally managed to blink them open. "Ugh…my head."

"Easy, Finn. Don't try to get up."

"Bubblegum?" Finn looked up at the pink princess. She was wearing a doctor's scrubs and white coat and looked down at Finn with care and concern.

PB smiled. "Hey, Finn. How are you feeling?"

"Where am I?" Finn asked.

"You're in the Candy Kingdom infirmary!" Jake exclaimed, hurrying up to the side of Finn's bed. "After you passed out from the blood loss, we brought you here!"

"What?" Finn looked down at the white hospital gown he was wearing. All of his friends were there, gathered by his patient bed. "How long was I out?"

"Two days," said Bubblegum. "Longer than expected. I think there might have been some…emotional trauma at play."

Finn stared up at PB. "...Dr. Gross?"

"She's dead, Finn." Huntress Wizard replied, choosing to be frank. "Her body is in the morgue. I suggested that only you should decide what should be done with her remains."

Finn let his eyes close and slumped back into the bed.

"I really did it," Finn muttered. "...I killed her."

"Finn, she was gonna kill everyone," Marceline said softly. Despite it being two days, the Vampire Queen hadn't even changed out of her sunproof outfit, aside from ditching her helmet. By the looks of it, she hadn't even left the infirmary for a while. Her hair was messy and even for a vampire, she looked tired and unlively. "I'm sorry, but…I don't think she was ever going to stop."

"...She wasn't, I know," Finn said. "I just…I killed someone who was family. And now…I'm gonna have to live with that."

"You kill with honor," said HW. "Gross did not."

"Yeah, take it from someone who lived through an apocalypse, another one would not have been pretty." Marcy floated over and kissed Finn's cheek. "Despite what's happened. We're all just glad you're okay. I mean…most of you is okay, anyway."

"What do you mean 'most' of me?" Finn said, placing his hands on his chest.

He then noticed that his right arm was robotic.

"WHAAAH?!" Finn raised his metal hand up to his bewildered face. "My arm!"

"Yeah, Gross hacked it off, so I built you a new one." Bubblegum said. "Pretty cool, right?"

"I wanted to grow you one myself and give you some kind of plant limb," Huntress said. "It would have been way better than that metal arm."

"Hey, my robotic arm is cool," PB replied defensively.

"Does it do anything, at least?" Finn asked. "Like, an entire list of things both basic and silly as well as heavy duty and cool?"

"Uh…well…no. It's…just an arm." PB admitted. "Give me a break, I had two days to build it."

"My plant arm would have been regenerative," said HW.

"Oh, bite me. It's a freaking robot arm." Bubblegum grumbled.

"Wait, hold on. Are Flame Princess and Ice King okay?" Finn asked. "They really gave the Guardian their all."

"Flame Princess is regaining her energy back at the Fire Kingdom. She sends her best wishes in your recovery." Jake said. "Ice King went back home with Gunter."

Ice King suddenly burst through the hospital window and flew down next to Finn. "And Ice King is back and feeling better than ever! For you see,"

The hairy wizard pulled a notebook out of his white beard. "I have written the third installment of 'Fiona the Lost Human of Aaa!'"

"Oh, come on!" Jake explained. "After all that waiting, you really think everyone wants another Fiona chapter?!"

Ice King pulled a tennis ball out of his beard and tossed it across the room and out the door.

"Oh, that's not fair," Jake growled before chasing after the tennis ball.

"Now, where were we?" Ice King flipped to the first page of his notebook. "Chixdigme800 presents to you, chapter three of Fiona the Lost Human of Aaa."

"Can someone sedate him…or me?" Finn asked. "Use a baseball bat if you have to."

"I'm leaving," said Huntress. "Get well soon, Finn." With that said, HW morphed into a hawk and flew out the same window Ice King crashed through.

"Kinda glad she left. I introduce Hunter Wizard in this one, and she warned me of the consequences," said Ice King. "Ah, cram! Spoilers! Let's hurry up and start this."

Cake hummed along to the festive music as she cooked, shaking her hips and bouncing on her heels.

"Turn it up, BMO!" Cake cheered.

BMO, happy to comply, turned up his music. Cake lifted the pan and used her spatula to scoop the big pancake onto the plate.

"And now, for the pièce de résistance." The calico cat stretched her arms to the fridge and opened it up, taking out the syrup, peanut butter, marshmallows, and a pair of strawberries. She decorated the cat head-shaped pancake. Once she was done, the pancake resembled Cake herself.

Cake did a chef kiss. "Perfect. Absolutely–get ready for this–purr-fect." She picked up the plate. "Hopefully, this will get her out of her funk."

Cake made her way upstairs to the bedroom. Fiona was lying face down on her bed, still in her pajamas. Her large, blonde hair looked like a large bird's next. It even had leaves and twigs in it.

"Hey, Fiona baby." Cake said. "I made you breakfast. Even though it's three in the afternoon."

"Uuuuuuuuuuuugh." replied Fiona.

"I made you a big pancake shaped like me! Your favorite feline!" Cake said.

Fiona rolled onto her back and spit a strand of blonde hair out of her mouth. "...Does it have strawberries for eyes or blueberries?"

"Strawberries."

"Alright, hand it over."

Cake placed the plate on Fiona's chest and stuck a fork in her hand. Fiona raised the fork and stabbed at the pancake, taking bite after bite and chewing slowly before swallowing. "This is really good. Thanks, Cake."

"Come on, Fiona. You gotta get out of bed." Cake begged. "Baby, I know it's been a rough couple of weeks, but for the love of Glob, take a shower."

"I'm depressed. This is what you do when you're depressed." Fiona tossed her fork aside and licked her plate clean.

"Come on. Things aren't so bad." Cake said.

"I reduced the guy I consider a brother to the mindset of a five-year-old, and he's a living tank," said Fiona. "I. Am. Exhausted."

Fiona and Cake heard a series of loud bangs that sounded like cannons going off. Fiona got out of bed and went over to open the window. Outside in the backyard, Shawn was pounding his fist down on the ground, trying to smash his own shadow.

"Kevin! I mean, Shawn! Stop it!" Fiona yelled.

The yellow bearded, hulk of a man wearing a torn, purple uniform and a dog hat looked up and blinked at Fiona.

"Shadow scare Shawn!" Shawn cried.

"Shadow will not hurt you!" Fiona assured him. "Shadow is safe."

"Shadow is safe?" Shawn asked.

"Yes." Fiona nodded. "Shadow is safe."

Shawn looked down at his shadow and flinched with fear. "You promise?"

"I promise," said Fiona. "Now, go back to your coloring books."

Shawn lumbered over and sat down to continue with his coloring books. He picked up his red crayon and scribbled away. "Firetrucks are red. But little bell on top is yellow."

Fiona slammed the window shut and went back into bed. "Ugh…that's been my whole week."

"Okay, yeah." Cake admitted. "Adding that to the breakup, I can see why you'd be a little down in the dumps."

Fiona just blew a raspberry.

"Look, breakups are tough. Believe me, I've been there." Cake said. "What you had with Gumball was great. You and him both know that."

"He tasted good and he was soft and squishy," Fiona muttered.

"I'm sure he was." Cake sighed lovingly. "You never forget your first."

"Look, Cake. I just want to do nothing all day." Fiona said. "Can't I just do nothing all day?"

"No, you absolutely can't." Cake stretched her arms under the bed and pulled out Fiona's sword. A beautiful weapon with a gold blade and silver handle. "Let's take Somthung out and defeat some baddies."

"I'm not in the mood," Fiona grumbled.

"Well, let's go out and do something," said Cake. "Fiona baby, I know you're hung up on the breakup, and having to babysit Shawn all day ain't helpin'. So let's go and have a fun girl's night out!"

Fiona rolled onto her side. "No."

Someone knocked on the window. Cake and Fiona looked over to see the Ice Queen smile and wave at them through the glass.

"Oh, geez. Her again?" Cake stretched her arm over and opened the window.

"Did Fiona and Gumball break up yet?" Ice Queen asked.

"Yes," Fiona replied through gritted teeth.

"Phew. Finally." IQ said in relief. "Gotta tell ya, Fiona, I was this close to murdering you in your sleep. No joke! I was actually going to do it tomorrow! I was gonna wait 'till you and Cake were asleep and fill your house with poisonous gas!"

"You don't say?" Fiona asked flatly.

"Now, I know what you're thinking," said Ice Queen, leaning on the window sill. "Not very ice-themed, right? Using poison is lame, I know. But freezing you to death would have taken a lot longer and I like you guys. I wanted to make it quick and painless for you… Relatively quick and painless for you, anyway."

"Thanks for dropping by Ice Queen," said Fiona. "You can go now."

"Wait, hold on!" Ice Queen cried before Cake could slam the window shut. "I also wanted to give you girls these!" the ice sorceress reached into her dress and pulled out a pair of sparkling tickets.

"What are those?" Cake's pupils dilated. "They shiny."

"Two tickets to this year's Wizard Battle!" Ice Queen cheered. "Yours truly will be in the ring and I was hoping you two would be there to cheer me on."

"Aren't Abracadanielle and Life Giving Morgan gonna be there to cheer you on?" Fiona asked.

"Morgan is a pacifist, she doesn't like fighting," said IQ. "And Abracadanielle got mauled at last year's Wizard Battle, so now she's terrified to so much as go near the arena."

"Yeah, we're not-"

"We're totally going!" Cake exclaimed, slapping a hand over Fiona's mouth. "We'll cheer you on, Ice Queen!"

"Really?!" Ice Queen's face lit up. "Aw, thanks, girls! The fight's tomorrow. Don't be late!"

"We won't!" said Cake, struggling to keep her hand on the aggravated Fiona's mouth. "Now go on, IQ. Gotta get to training!"

"Here's hoping I'll finally be able to beat that smug, tree-hugging jerk, Hunter Wizard. He wins those battles every, freaking, year!" IQ yelled, slamming her fist for emphasis. "...I'd still totally do him, though."

"Yeah, good luck with that," said Cake.

"With beating Hunter Wizard or doing Hunter Wizard?"

"Both." Cake stretched her arm out and shut the window.

"Okay, bye!" Ice Queen shouted through the window. "See you tomorrow!"

Ice Queen flew away and Fiona glared at her feline friend. "Cake, what the stuff?! I don't wanna go to the Wizard Battle!"

"Well, too bad," said Cake. "You need to get out of the treehouse. Forget about Gumball and Shawn and Creator's Island and everything else and just take one day to relax."

Fiona groaned dramatically and fell backward onto the bed. "Now I understand why most people have dogs."

"Now I understand why Gumball dumped you."

"Hey!"

"Yeah, kitty got claws."

"Ugh. Fine. I'll go to the Wizard Battle tomorrow." Fiona rolled onto her side.

"Don't forget to shower and brush your teeth." Cake instructed. "And brush that beautiful golden hair. You might end up finding yourself another handsome prince."

"Please. For the love of Glob and the other three. Stop trying to hook me up."

"This will be good for you, Fiona." Cake assured her. "Getting out of the treehouse to watch a bunch of wizards duke it out? That's exactly what you need."

Fiona just stuck her tongue out.

"Welcome, everyone, to the WIZARD BATTLE!" The Grand Master Sorceress exclaimed dramatically from up above in her private podium. Her snow-white, curly hair covered her entire pear-shaped body like a giant kimono. Beneath her sapphire gem eyes, her hair parted at a 'V', revealing her full lips. On her head, she wore an odd crown–a cooper ring with a kind of sector extending from the from and rising skyward, topped with a sapphire that matched her eyes.

"That is ooooone big woman," Cake commented in a sassy tone. "Wonder if she'll ever meet a man who can work with all that woman."

"I'm already regretting coming with you," Fiona said, seated next to Cake. She was back in her bunny hat and jean jacket.

"Oh, don't play shy and innocent with me." Cake said. "Almost every other morning you used to come back to the treehouse reeking of bubblegum with a grin on your face and marks on your neck."

Fiona's face lit up with a mad blush. "Caaaake," she whined, grabbing her bunny ears and pulling her hat down over her eyes. "Come on."

"The same rules apply as every year!" The Grand Master Sorcerous' voice echoed across the arena. "No team-ups or gang-ups! Every magician for themselves. No weapons unless conjured by your own magic! Nothing brought in from outside the arena. No science! That means you, science wizard."

"Science Wizard?" Fiona asked. "That…that's a thing?"

"Right?" Cake replied. "Weird combo. How does that even work?"

"Whoever is victorious this year, will be rewarded with…" the Grand Master Sorcerous raised her hand and rolled her wrist, suddenly holding in her fingers a pumpkin-sized, white crystal with a faint, ice-blue luster. "The Comet Gem!"

There was a collective 'Ooooooo' from around the arena.

"A one-of-a-kind magic relic with extraordinary mystical properties!" the GMS preached. "It can be all yours! IF! You have what it takes to reign victorious over ALLLLLLLLL!"

The wizards surrounding the inner perimeter of the arena all raised their fists in the air and cheered a battle cry. Ice Queen among them, waved her hand at Fiona and Cake and mouthed 'Wish me luck.'

"Do you think Ice Queen will win?" Fiona asked Cake. "That prize looks like a big chunk if ice. I'm sure she'll want it."

"She never wins. She comes pretty damn close though," said Cake. "But she always ends up getting her butt kicked by the Hunter Wizard."

"That guy Ice Queen complained about but wants to sleep with?" Fiona asked.

"Yeah, that guy," said Cake. "I've never actually been to one of these things before, but I hear he's on a whole nother level with his magic. Trained in ancient sorcery by the old spirits of the forest…or something like that. All of these freakin' wizards have several versions of their own backstory that may or may not be accurate. You should hear the one Ice Queen made up for herself."

"Which one is the Hunter Wizard?" Fiona asked, searching the ring of wizards all ready to attack each other.

"Heck if I know." Cake said with a shrug. "He'll be the one beating up Ice Queen."

"The Wizard Battle shall begin in THREE…TWO…ONE…" The sun positioned itself behind the GMS and the light focused into the gem atop her crown, lighting it up with brilliant red light.

"BEGIN!"

The wizards all charged at each other, their magic blazing and firing, creating a Fourth of July effect that blinded the audience.

"Put these on, baby," said Cake, wearing a pair of shades and handing a pair to Fiona.

"They're really going at it, aren't they?" Fiona asked, watching in awe as the wizards cast their spells and summoned their magic. Some got blasted straight out of the arena, some got turned into animals, the list went on. Ice Queen in particular was stacking up the KOs. Those who didn't get frozen in a block of ice got attacked with weapons of ice, or they became snowmen that attacked somebody else, or they were literally blown away by a gust of arctic wind.

"Fear the frost!" IQ laughed maniacally as she shot a barrage of icicles at her terrified opponents.

"Dang. Never that I would root for Ice Queen." Fiona commented. "She just might win this thing."

Suddenly, the ground began to quake. Giant thorn vines burst out of the earth and began to wrap around wizard after wizard, either burying them in the ground or just cocooning them where they stood. The magicians began to scatter in fear as a large beanstalk topped with two leaves erupted up out of the dirt.

Standing atop it with each foot on either leaf was a hooded figure wearing a dark green jerkin and a brown cloak. He wore black boots and brown leggings. He raised his fingerless gloved hands in an arch and brought them back down, suddenly wielding a huntsman's bow in a flash of green light. The top half of his face was concealed in the shadow of his hood, only showing the bottom of his nose and his mouth. His skin was fern-green, complimenting the color of his jerkin.

Fiona, who had been slouching, sat straight up. Her eyes widened at the sight of the green sorcerer.

"That's Hunter Wizard?" Cake asked. "Some Robin Hood lookin' weirdo. How lame is this guy?"

"...Uh-huh."

"Sweet entrance, though. I'll give him that."

"...Uh-huh."

Several of the other wizards charged at the wizard atop the plant. In the shadow of his hood, the Hunter Wizard's eyes revealed themselves, like a cat's pair of green eyes hiding in the shadows. He did flip off the stalk, firing off three arrows. Instead of hitting anyone, each arrow sank into the dirt among a group of wizards. When Hunter Wizard landed on the ground, he snapped his fingers and the arrows blew up like a trio of hand grenades, sending wizards flying.

More wizards charged him, breaking the 'no gang up' rule. Apparently, they all thought it wise to take him out first. Hunter Wizard twirled his hands and the bow disappeared. He snapped both fingers and a swarm of arrows surrounded him.

Again, he didn't fire any of them at the other wizards. Instead, he aimed his hands straight down and the arrows went underground. And then, one by one, the wizards found themselves ensnared in a web of vines that erupted out of the ground. It was like Hunter Wizard had planted a bunch of seeds in the ground.

"Dang, he's good," Fiona commented.

"He hasn't even shot anyone yet," said Cake. "Who ever heard of an archer who don't shoot nobody?"

A big rock wizard ran up and, with a mighty roar, slammed his fist down at Hunter Wizard. The forest magician spun out of the way and summoned a hatchet from his magic. He raised his hatchet and with a swing of ethereal green fire, chopped the rock wizard's arm right off.

"Yeah!" Fiona cheered.

"Right? Now that's more like it!" Cake exclaimed.

The rock wizard reared back and roared in pain, gripping his new stump and lumbering away. Hunter Wizard looked around him. On his side of the arena, the wizards had all been taken care of. On the other side of the arena, Ice Queen had taken down all the other contestants. Upon finishing her collection of ice sculptures, the sorcerous of snow turned towards the Huntsman Magician. She snarled and summoned a whirlwind of sleet around her, hands glowing with icy power.

From across the arena, Hunter Wizard held the mad monarch's gaze. He stood still as another swarm of arrows gathered behind him, all aimed at the Ice Queen. With an expert twirl, he raised his hatchet, narrowing his eyes at his target.

The crowd went silent as the final two combatants stared each other down. Everyone was at the edge of their seats. Fiona especially.

Hunter Wizard sent his arrows flying at Ice Queen like they were being fired out of a Gatling gun. Ice Queen walked forward and with her glowing hand, calmly and quickly knocked each arrow aside before any of them could hit her. Each arrow just froze and dropped to the ground to shatter into pieces.

"Nice try, Green Arrow," said IQ. "And now, here's Killer Frost. DC, fool!"

Ice Queen raised her hands and sent her magic, ice energy blasting at Hunter Wizard. He summoned another magic hatchet and caught both of the blasts with both of the axes. The wizard's boot heels dug into the ground, leaving a small trail in the dirt. Frost began to coat the hatchets' blades, canceling out their green fire.

"Oooooo, she's got him pinned!" Cake cried.

"Come on, come on," Fiona muttered. It wasn't Ice Queen she was supporting, though.

Hunter Wizard gritted his teeth in his effort to hold back Ice Queen's magic. His green eyes glowed with power and focus. Ice Queen grinned as she pushed Hunter Wizard back.

Hunter Wizard then sank underneath the ground and the blasts of energy sailed over where he had disappeared. Ice Queen frowned and ceased her magic, looking around to see where her opponent had gone to.

"Get back here, ya wuss!" Ice Queen shouted. "Where are you?!"

Large, thorn-covered vines, like a kraken's tenacles, suddenly shot out of the ground around Ice Queen and began swinging at her. Ice Queen yelped and summoned her magic to retaliate, either freezing and shattering the vines or slicing them down at their base with an ice weapon. But like the heads of a hydra, they just kept coming back in greater number. After growing tired of battling the vines, Ice Queen went airborne, rising above the dangerous plants and out of their reach.

"No more hiding!" Ice raised her hands and thunderclouds gathered above. Blue lighting struck the earth and tore the ground apart. "I'll dig you out, ya gopher!"

She didn't see the arrow sailing towards her head. The arrow knocked her tiara right off.

"Uh-oh."

Ice Queen screamed as she fell to the earth. She landed in the dirt painfully in a cloud of dust. "...Ow."

Hunter Wizard was suddenly standing over her, spinning the Ice Queen's tiara around his finger.

Ice Queen stared up at the Hunter Wizard. "Sooooooooooo…you wanna hook up sometime? I know you woodsman types are into the whole 'au naturel' thing."

"Sleep now." Hunter Wizard knelt down and snapped his fingers in front of Ice Queen's face, which created a small cloud of green mist that Ice Queen breathed in.

IQ let out a yawn. "So, what was that a 'no' on the au naturel hook up? Cuz let me tell ya, after a thousand years, this girl's…still…got it…" Ice Queen passed out and went to sleep snoring. Hunter Wizard tossed the tiara onto her chest and walked away.

"We have a winner!" The Grand Master Sorcerous announced. "For the third year in a row, Hunter Wizard is VICTORIOUS! Come on up and take your prize!"

"He won!" Fiona shouted with a grin.

"And he shot down Ice Queen twice." Cake laughed at her own joke. "Maybe he ain't so bad. What do you think, Fiona?"

Fiona didn't answer. She just focused on Hunter Wizard as he walked across the arena to claim his prize.

(The next morning)

"Hey, Fiona! How long you gonna be in there? This kitty's gonna pee!"

"I'll be out in a minute!" Fiona shouted over Cake's knocking on the door. The blonde girl checked herself in the mirror one more time, adjusting her jacket and bunny hat, letting a golden lock of hair peek out over her forehead. "There we go."

"Fiona, I swear to Glob, I will wiz on your pillows!"

"Almost done!" Fiona picked up her cell phone and dialed a number. "Come on, come on, pick it up."

"Whaddup, my snowflake? Ice Queen speaking."

"Hey, high IQ. It's your girl, Fiona." Fiona stuck out her tongue.

"Oh, hey, Fiona! What's up?"

"Well, I was wondering. You remember that Hunter Wizard guy from the Wizard Battle?"

"You mean the guy who beat me at Wizard Battle for the third time in a row by gassing me in front of an arena full of people right after denying my offer of a night of au naturel?" Ice Queen asked. "Yeah, I remember him."

"Well, since you didn't get the chance to beat him up, I thought I could find him for you and beat him up myself." Fiona lied.

"Really?! You would do that for me?" Ice Queen asked.

"Of course I would," Fiona replied. "You know where to find him?"

"Sure, I'll text you the directions," said Ice Queen. "Just don't beat up his face. Or his junk. You know, just in case I finally get au naturel from him."

"...Uh-huh. Just, go ahead and text me those directions."

"Fiona! My cat bladder's about to spray!" Cake shouted. "Let me in or your bed sheets get it!"

"Alright, I'm coming out!" Fiona strapped Somthung to her back. "I'm done in here."

Fiona followed the river through the forest as Ice Queen instructed. It was a nice walk with a beautiful view. The butterflies fluttered around Fiona as if mistaking her for a flower. Fiona walked down the river's shore and read Ice Queen's text of directions.

"Who uses emojis to text someone directions somewhere?" Fiona complained before pocketing her phone. "If this is the wrong river I'm gonna strangle that Ice Queen."

Fiona continued through the forest with the butterflies fluttering after her. She had been searching for hours with no sign of the green, hooded sorcerer she was searching for. Even though she was enjoying the pleasant stroll through the woods, Fiona was beginning to become frustrated as her search proved fruitless.

"Glob dammit and Creators destroy it, where are you?"

"Are you searching for me?"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Fiona let out a high-pitched squeal and jumped back several feet, drawing her sword and aiming it at the one who had frightened her.

Directly above her in the trees, the Hunter Wizard stood perfectly balanced on a branch, hands politely folded behind his back as he looked down at Fiona.

"My impression of you is that you are a capable warrior. You carry the blade of Millie with you after all. But you make for a poor huntress. A deaf man could have heard you coming." His voice was rich and smooth, like a nobleman's voice.

Fiona blushed at the sight of the champion of the Wizard Battle. "I-I'm not hunting you! I just wanted to meet you."

"Oh?" Hunter Wizard stepped off the branch and fell to the earth, landing on his feet in front of Fiona. "Please tell me you are not here on behalf of the Ice Queen and her offer of au naturel."

"I am really sick of hearing that term–look, I just wanted to meet you."

"And may I ask why?"

Fiona blushed and cleared her throat. "Well…um…ah…eh…eee…uh…"

Hunter Wizard patiently waited for her to reply, but blinked in a confused manner.

"I…wanted…to learn…archery." Fiona finally spit out. "Yeah, that's it. I want you to teach me archery."

"Archery?" Hunter Wizard asked.

"Yeah, archery," Fiona replied with a nod. "I'm a whiz with the sword, but I wanted to see if I was any good with a bow and arrow. I saw you at the Wizard Battle and couldn't think of a better teacher."

"I'm flattered," replied Hunter Wizard.

"And I'm Fiona." Fiona laughed awkwardly.

"Fiona the Human. Yes, I know you by reputation." Hunter Wizard gave her a bow of respect. "I have heard many tales of your heroic deeds. I must say, it is an honor to meet you."

"Oh. Why, thank you." Fiona grabbed and twirled one of her bunny ears in her fingers. "I didn't know you were a fan of my work."

"It would be my pleasure to teach you archery, Fiona." Hunter Wizard said. "I have no important matters to attend to at the moment anyhow."

"Really?!" Fiona coughed into her fist and recomposed herself. "Thank you, Hunter Wizard. Eh, is it cool if I call you Hunter?"

A red cardinal flew over their heads.

"What was that?"

"A reference to something else, I believe." the Wizard pulled his hood down, revealing his green, grass hair. "I also go by HW."

'Oh Glob, he's handsome. I thought he'd be cute or hot, but he's handsome.' Fiona thought to herself.

"Is something the matter?" Hunter asked, noticing Fiona staring.

"No!" Fiona blushed and cleared her throat. "I mean, no. Nothing's the matter. Can we start with the bow training now?"

"As you wish," said HW. "Let's begin."

The arrow whizzed right above the straw dummy's head and was lost in the ground somewhere, assuming another unfortunate tree hadn't caught it.

"Stuff Glob dangit!" Fiona shouted. Not a single arrow had so much as skimmed the straw dummy and her bile was continuing to grow. Fiona was half-tempted to just run up to the dummy and whack it relentlessly with her bow.

"Focus, Fiona." Hunter Wizard instructed. "Steady your breathing and clear your mind. A calm archer makes for a skilled archer."

"Why are you telling me this from over there?!" Fiona demanded over her shoulder, referring to the fact that Hunter was instructing her from a few yards away behind a large tree.

"Because I know when to take cover," HW replied.

"Am I doing that badly?" Fiona asked.

"Yes. Yes, you are."

Fiona let out an aggravated groan before pulling another arrow out of her quiver and nocking it in her bow.

"Aim."

Fiona did as HW said and raised her bow at the dummy.

"Breathe."

Fiona breathed in and out.

"Draw."

Fiona pulled the bowstring back, resting her hand against her cheek.

"Keep your aim steady and breathe."

Fiona did so.

"...Release."

Fiona let the arrow fly.

It didn't even hit the dummy.

"GAAAAAAAH!" Fiona ran up and swung her bow like a baseball bat, taking the dummy's tin pail head clean off its shoulders.

"...Effective," Hunter commented. "A tad brutal and a bit unorthodox, yet effective."

Fiona let out a long sigh. "...I'm sorry," she said, head bowed and eyes closed. "I just…I suck at this."

Hunter Wizard walked up to Fiona, his emerald eyes glowing in the shadow of his hood. Gently, he took the bow from Fiona and held it in his hands for examination.

"Failure frustrates you," HW said. "It is a frustration that I am familiar with."

"It's not just the fact that I apparently stink at archery." Fiona rubbed her temples. "...I chose, I chose…to abandon my island, my home, and my family, so I could stay here and be Aaa's heroine. My dad, who's basically the island chief, sent his best Tracker, the guy who's like a big brother to me, to find me and bring me back home, and I turned his brains into mashed potatoes. Now, I have to babysit my eight-foot tall, jacked with a capital 'J', man-child big brother."

"You feel guilty." Hunter Wizard surmised. "About a number of things. For abandoning your home, your what you did to your brother, for leaving behind your father."

Fiona nodded. "I recently got dumped too. I thought we were having a good time together. And we were, according to him. But…he thought it would be better if we saw other people. I guess he wasn't really ready for a relationship."

"Did that frustrate you as well?" Hunter asked.

"I wasn't happy about it," Fiona replied. "He was my first boyfriend. It was the first time I ever got dumped."

"So to sum it all up, you've just been having a really crappy week," said HW.

"More than one," Fiona said. "...More than one."

"Mmm." Hunter then did something strange. He kissed the bow in his hands, and the weapon turned into a flutter of butterflies. Fiona gasped in amazement as she watched the butterflies of numerous colors dance around her. She laughed as the pretty insects brushed against her or took a moment to land and crawl on her.

"Feel better?" Hunter asked.

"Yeah, this…" Fiona raised a finger and let a large, blue butterfly land on it. "This is tight."

HW smiled. "You are a fighter, Fiona Campbell the Human. You are an honorable warrior and an amazing hero. It hasn't been easy for you, I can see that. You feel like everything bad that's ever happened has been your fault, but it's not. What's been done has been done and there's no changing what's been done. All you can do now is move forward. That's all any of us can do."

Fiona blinked. "That was…surprisingly inspirational. Thank you."

Hunter's smile grew bigger. "You know, if a bow and arrow are not in agreement with your repertoire, then perhaps you need a change in weaponry." from seemingly out of thin air, HW pulled out a wooden crossbow.

Fiona's eyes widened and sparkled. "Woah."

"I never use this thing. My preference is the bow." Hunter held the crossbow up to Fiona. "But perhaps you can make use of this weapon."

Fiona took the wooden crossbow and held it in her hands, admiring the weapon. Hunter pulled a bolt out of his sleeve and handed it to Fiona. She took the bolt and loaded the crossbow. Then she aimed it at the straw dummy and fired.

The bolt sank straight into the dummy's chest, dead-center.

"HA-HA!" Fiona cheered and held the crossbow up in triumph. "Now that's more like it!"

"Perfect shot," said HW. "Nice one."

"Can I keep this?" Fiona begged.

"It is my gift to you," said Hunter. "All I ask in return is an answer to a question."

"Oh." Fiona blinked. "Uh…okay."

"Why were you really looking for me?" Hunter Wizard asked. "Why did you venture into the woods just to find me?"

Fiona blushed and gulped. "I…it's like a said. I just really wanted to meet you."

Hunter's eyes widened in realization and surprise. He then smiled warmly. "Well met, Fiona."

"Well met…um…" Fiona tilted her head. "What's your real name?"

"Just call me Hunter," HW said.

"You don't trust me enough to tell me your real name?"

"What is a name but a method of identification?" asked HW. "Call me Hunter, I implore you."

"Alright, fine." Fiona hooked the crossbow strap around her shoulder and smiled at Hunter. "Will I…be seeing you again sometime?"

"I should hope so," HW replied. "Happy hunting."

Hunter Wizard morphed into a large, green wolf. He gazed into Fiona's eyes before and grinned before bounding off into the forest. Fiona stood there, alone in the woods. She couldn't stop smiling.

"...I feel better now."

"The end." Ice King closed his book and smiled. "Well, what did you think?"

The only other person left in the entire hospital room was Finn. Even some of the other patients had gotten out of their beds and fled.

"Please stop writing," was Finn's opinion.

"Glob, everyone's a critic." Ice King grumbled. "You know what? Funk this noise. I'm gonna read to my penguins. At least they appreciate my writing." IK flew back through the window and he had crashed through and soared away on his beard.

"Personally, I think Marshall Lee's character is cool."

Finn flinched with surprise as Marceline materialized next to his bed.

"Oh. Hey, Marcy." Finn said.

"Hey, Finn." Marcy knelt down beside the bed. "I'm digging the robo-arm."

"Yeah?" Finn raised his new mechanical arm up and examined it. "Glob, if my mom saw this, she would so short circuit."

"Ha. Cuz she's a computer program or some stuff. Right."

Finn frowned, looking quite forlorn. "...I killed Dr. Gross," he said. "He was my mom's right-hand woman and her friend. She was my instructor and she even delivered me when I was born. And…I killed her. What would my mom say if she knew? How disappointed would she be?

Finn closed his eyes. "She…she would be disgusted with me."

Marcy bit her lip and looked away. "Uh…you know, sometimes, I thought…my mom was disgusted with me," she confessed. "You know, being half demon and all. I might've sucked out the souls of a few animals in front of her."

"I doubt she was disgusted with you for something you couldn't help," Finn said. "I'm sure she loved you with all your heart. After all, look how you turned out."

"Okay. Wow. That has to be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me." Marceline rubbed the back of her head in a guilty manner. "Which…makes what I'm about to do a lot harder."

"What do you mean?" Finn asked.

Marceline sighed. "Okay, look. Call me a complete bitch for doing this to you now, of all times, but…I'm breaking up with you."

Finn's eyes shot open. "What?"

"It's not you!" Marceline immediately replied. "Good Glob, it's not you. Listen, man, you are the sweetest guy I have ever met, let alone dated. You are awesome, alright? You are the most selfless guy in the world, and dating you has been so much fun."

"So what's the problem?"

"The problem is that as much as I love having you as a boyfriend…I'm no good for you." Marceline ran a hand down her hair. "Dude, I'm a cambion vampire monarch who has been testing the limits of your mortal capabilities since the day we started dating."

"I enjoyed it," Finn said. "It was often painful, but I enjoyed it."

"Yeah, so did I," Marcy said. "But Bubblegum was right, I'm not good for you, man. And besides that, I never age. You'll turn grey then end up in the dirt while I'll stay hot and undead. The only way for us to last long-term is for me to turn you into a vampire, and I'm not cruel enough to do that to my worst enemy. I won't do that to you."

"Oh…okay…" Finn said. "We're…still friends, right?"

"Of course we are, dummy," said Marcy. "I care about you, Finn, and I want you to be happy."

"I had to kill my aunt, my arm is gone, and you just dumped me."

"I mean…yeah, you're not happy now, but…you'll get there."

"I feel like you went with the 'kick him while he's down' method with this breakup."

"Yeah, I suck, I know."

"Well, you are a vampire."

Marceline chuckled. "Okay, that was good. I don't normally appreciate vampire jokes, but that was good. Truth be told though, I deserve way worse than a funny vampire joke. Can't you say something incredibly mean and soul-crushing to me?"

"I don't wanna do that."

Marcy sighed. "Dang it, ya sweet dope."

Finn smiled. "I'm gonna miss hanging out with you all the time."

"We can still hang out, man. Just platonically." Marceline said. "And you'll get over me once you move on to the next badass hottie. That seems to be your type after all."

Finn blushed.

Marcy kissed Finn's forehead. "See you later, Finn," she said before floating to the exit.

"Hey, Marceline?"

Marcy stopped and turned around.

"Listen…you don't have to listen to me, but…maybe you should finally try to patch things with Bubblegum," Finn suggested. "You said you want me to be happy? Well, I want you to be happy too. You and PB both."

Marceline's eyes widened. Her gaze became uncertain. "I'll…I'll think about it," she said before flying out of the infirmary.

Shoko suddenly appeared by Finn's bed, staring in longing as Marcy left. "We are so gonna regret letting that go," she said. "Can't you call her back for one more round? Really put your mortality to the test just one more time?"

"Oh. Shoko. I almost forgot about you." Finn said. "Thank's for having my back with that whole 'Gross' mess."

"Ha. Gross mess."

"How you holding up?"

Shoko raised her right arm, which was now replaced with the mechanical arm Bubblegum had made for her so many years ago. She grinned and clamped her claw hand. "Twinsies."

Finn raised his mechanical hand up next to Shoko's. "I guess history really does repeat itself."

"I'm pretty sure when we were a butterfly, we lost one of our legs," said Shoko.

"Hey, how were able to hold Nothung?" Finn asked. "You're a projection of my thoughts, but you picked up the sword as if you were really there."

Shoko reached under the hospital bed and picked up Nothung, holding it in her flesh hand and showing it to Finn. "Magic sword. It likes you, and will obey you. I am you."

"So…I controlled it with my thoughts?"

"For the most basic of explanations, yes," said Shoko. "The blade knew what was going on, so it went along and let me wield it."

"Okay, this is pretty cool," Finn said. "Now that you can wield Nothung, you can really join in on the fun."

"Kinda stinks you're the only person who can hear or see me," said Shoko. "Whenever decide to help out, people will just think you have a sword that can swing itself."

"Still pretty cool," said Finn. "So…what do you wanna do now?"

"Isn't it obvious what needs to be done?" Shoko asked.

"Take time to heal from recent trauma?"

"I was gonna say go ask Princess Bubblegum out and nail her gooey, gummy body before Marceline does," said Shoko. "Or better yet, ask the both of them if they're willing to get weird."

"...Uh…how about we go turn Billy's old cave into that man cave I was talking about a while back?" Finn suggested. "Remember that?"

"Oh, okay. That sounds like fun," said Shoko. "Nowhere near as fun, but yeah, let's go do your thing."

Ladies and gentlemen…Shoko.

It's great to back on this story! Stay tuned for more!