Title: Mortal Taste (Theodicy, the Lilah Morgan Remix)
Fandom: Angel: the Series
Summary: Season 3 AU after "Sleep Tight"; While Wesley finds his way back, Lilah looks for a way in. Features Lilah, Angel, Wolfram & Hart flunkies, and season 3 ensemble.
Rating: R
Warnings: Language, implied rough sex, character death.
Spoilers: Through "Tomorrow." The original story was written and posted soon after "Sleep Tight" aired, and before any of the subsequent episodes. I jiggled a few minor things to fit with subsequent canon, as well as "repurposing" dialogue and scenarios that occurs up to the end of Season 3.
Disclaimers: Characters and concepts belong to Mutant Enemy; the line Lilah remembers is a paraphrase from "The Company of Wolves" by Angela Carter.
Thanks to: Inlovewithnight, Txcronopio and Glossing for readthrough; Sue for letting me babble about this incessantly; mistakes and inconsistencies are mine; spot the continuity error and get a cookie. Or at least a drabble.
Title, Author and URL of original story: Jinitian -- Theodicy: MAN'S first disobedience, and the fruit/ Of that forbidden tree whose mortal taste/ Brought death into the World. . . " - John Milton, "Paradise Lost"

Theodicy n. - A vindication of God's goodness and justice in the face of the existence of evil.

He sat alone at the bar, three shot glasses turned down in front of him. She couldn't sneak up on him; she had a reflection. The mirror across from Angel revealed an obvious void, but no one questioned. It wasn't that kind of place.

"You're not a stupid woman, Lilah. So why are you here?" Angel clutched his hand around another shot glass. Whiskey, she noted, not blood. It wasn't that kind of place, either.

"I could well ask you the same thing. Why aren't you back at the hotel mustering your scrappy little band of warriors? Or, I don't know. . . " - she held up a finger to the bartender, who poured her usual Glenlivet - "abducting a senior member of our staff and torturing him until he agrees to perform a dark ritual to help you recorporealize Sahjahn?"

"Is that what I'm supposed to be doing?" Angel drained his glass.

"I don't know about 'supposed to' but there's an office pool, and that's where I put my money. After all, your best mojo-guy is gone. It's only a matter of time before you get desperate and turn to us."

"Wesley's back," Angel answered, through clenched teeth. "Wesley is a good friend, and he was only doing what he thought was best. You understand that?"

"Of course," Lilah crooned. The bartender set down her glass. She reached to pick it up, and Angel grabbed her wrist.

"Then you should also understand -" He tightened his grip, bending back the bones until she expected them to snap " -that when Wesley came back to the hotel, I threw him on the floor and tore his stitches open."

Lilah blinked. "In a.violence kind of way, you mean."

"What?" Angel loosened her wrist just enough that she could shake it free.

"Rated TV-14 for violence, not. . .never mind." Lilah massaged her sore joints and decided it wasn't the time and place to discuss Angel's complete lack of irony.

"Wesley was my friend," said Angel. "And the only reason I didn't choke him to death there in the lobby is that Cordelia had a vision and she thinks it means that Wesley can get my son back." Not claiming, Lilah noticed, that he believed the vision. Was he simply reluctant to raise his own hopes -- or starting to doubt his own connection with the Powers?

"So," Lilah said, "there'll be no kidnapping and extortion of Wolfram and Hart personnel for the time being."

"So." Angel's hand darted to her breastbone. His fingers slid toward her throat. "Give me one reason that I shouldn't kill you right now."

His hand circled her neck. She looked in his eyes. It was very important not to flinch. Words came to her mind, something she must have read a long time ago: When fear does no good, then cease to be afraid.. "I don't deal in 'shoulds,'" Lilah whispered. "Let's examine our options in auxiliary verbs -" She swallowed hard and willed herself to speak slowly. "'Could,' of course. 'Might' any time. That's the fun of our little relationship. 'Will'? I suppose I've figured from the day I met you. That vampire's going to be the death of me someday." She pressed her lips together, gathering some moisture before she spoke again. "Better you than them. After everything that's gone down, you think I have a future with the firm? I'm sick of playing these petty power games, waiting for Linwood or Gavin to sabotage me." As she spoke Lilah leaned gradually back, so that his palm slid down and began to rub between her breasts. "I'd rather meet my fate at the hands of a real -"

She stopped until Angel supplied, "Champion?"

"I was going to go with 'monster'."

"You think that's clever." A hard smile crept onto his face. "You still really don't understand what I'm capable of."

Their eyes locked. "What can you do to me that my own bosses can't?"

His fingers pressed into the skin of her neck. "You really want to find out?"

Lilah's mouth curled, slowly, into a smile.

Lilah let Gavin give his little report. "Since we lost feed from the audio and video cameras. . .lack of an inside source. . .our best extrapolations. . . the empath demon has quite definitely left town. . .Wyndam-Pryce seems to have resumed contact. . .Angel's next move is only speculation but. . ." Linwood nodded along, as though these crumbs of information meant something. "Whether the Chase girl's connection to the Powers that Be will prove sufficient -"

Finally, Lilah couldn't stand it. In a 'bored now' voice, she said, "Cordelia had a vision. Wesley's working with the group again, but he and Angel aren't reconciled. Angel only has him around because they think he can find a way back into the Qortoth."

Gavin turned to her and sneered. "How could you possibly --?"

She pulled down the neck of her blouse, to show two clean puncture wounds. "Right from the vampire's mouth."

Gavin jumped from his chair and stood, with typical fortitude, behind his ninety-pound secretary. Pawing at the pockets of his suit, he barked at the girl: "Krystal, get me a cross!" It would be just like Gavin, Lilah mused, to know every provision of the building code by heart, but remain vague about exactly how vampires were created.

"Mr. Park," Krystal began apologetically, "we serve the forces of darkness here." She reached to her neck and offered the locket she wore. "If you'd like a pentagram --"

"Gavin," Linwood said wearily. "Sit down. Lilah's not going to rip your throat out. At least -" He glanced her way - "not unless I tell her to. And not because she's a vampire. We do have vampire detectors in this building."

"Yes." Lilah nodded along. "You know those things that always go haywire right before Angel comes in and does whatever he wants?" Linwood turned a frosty look on her. "I got the vampire, Linwood. And just to be clear, I mean that in every sense of the word." She spun the chair to one side and crossed her legs, letting the short skirt ride up her thigh. From the looks the men were giving her, the idea must have come across, and so it was worth the pain it cost her just to move. Still, she should have taken a few more morning-after aspirin, along with the iron pills.

Gavin eased back into his seat, trying to play off his earlier panic with sarcasm. "I thought it was firm policy to keep hands off the vampire."

Lilah snapped back. "Once upon a time, firm policy was supposed to be, 'Get Angel on our side." She leveled a decidedly vampiric gaze on Gavin before he could interject any double entendres. "Lately it seems to be, 'Let him do whatever he wants to us, and not fight back.' Well, I took a little initiative. He's clearly not getting the love from his own people, or even from the powers. Cordelia is seeing visions of poor Wesley, went and got his throat cut." She looked at Gavin and snapped her fingers, as though she'd just had a thought. "If you're feeling left out, maybe we could send you to seduce him. All those months of surveillance, you took pretty copious notes on 'white male number two.'" When Gavin sputtered, Lilah held up her hand and said, "You're right, that's not fair." Turning to Linwood, she said, "If you want someone to screw Wesley, you'll need to send a top, and that puts Gavin out of the running."

"Huh," Gavin snorted. "Well, you can't have done such a great job as all that, or we'd be sitting here talking about how to deal with a pissed-off Angelus. Sorry you couldn't make him happy, Lilah, but then, I hear you have that problem a lot."

"Oh God, it never occurred to me. . ." Leaning across the table, she clapped her hands in his face. "You really are as stupid as you look. Angel just lost his son. Do you really think a little. . ." She leaned back in the chair and smirked. "Well, actually a lot. Of very very good sex." She crossed and uncrossed her legs, certain now that her face didn't show the pain. Honestly, t had hardly hurt more than what he did to her neck. Besides, when it came to pain, it was like Lawrence of Arabia said - The trick is not caring.

For now, at least Linwood seemed satisfied with her report. "Excellent initiative. And you're correct. Perfect happiness is quite likely to elude Angel for some time."

"Thank God," Lilah answered. "Or - whichever demon we're paying tribute to this week. I was in that wine cellar with Darla and Drusilla. I know what a soulless vampire is really like. There's no negotiating, reasoning with, or controlling them."

"And we've had so much luck in controlling Angel so far," Gavin retorted. "You really think your magic vagina will do the trick?"

"This is true," said Linwood. "Angel happily abandoned Darla after one night together, and they had a history lasting hundreds of years. Tell me, Lilah. What makes you think he'll ever knock on your door again?"

"What can I say, sir." Lilah shook her head to whip the hair away from the neck wound. "I'm feeling lucky."

Linwood was right. Angel didn't knock on the door. When Lilah came home and stepped into her bedroom, he was already waiting.