A/N: Well...here we are, three years, 30 chapters, 167 pages (yes I put all the chapters together into one document cause I'm sad like that) and 70,139words later and we've finally reached the end...It feels strange to have been working on a story for more than 3 years, then suddenly have it be all over. But oh well, sequel coming soon, if anyone's still interested (let me know!)I'm out of school next month so, despite the fact the parentals tell me I have to work more this summer, I'll still have time to write, and hopefully I can get this sequel up within the next month or two.
In any case, I hope you all enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it (writer's block nonwithstanding). Thank you all soooo much for your reviews, they're what kept me at this for three years! I really hope you enjoy the epilogue! And review!
Oh and random note, the two lines in this: 'How do you leave the past behind when it keeps finding ways to get to your heart? It reaches way down deep and tears you inside out till you're torn apart' is from my favorite musical of all time 'RENT' I thought it fit what was going on and despite the fact the last time I tried to insert a song, it didn't go over well, I did it again, but this one fits better I think, and it's not the whole song, only two very meaningful lines, which always stuck with me.
Again, thank you so much for putting up with me and my erratic updates, and my long, random author's notes, and all your kind words. I love you all! And look out for my sequel coming soon! Until then...
-AEM
9 months later…
Mill Valley, California
"Breathe, Peggy, breathe!" BJ urged. Sweet Peg Hunnicut fixed her husband with a glare that would have scared bears away.
"I know BJ. I've done this before or have you forgotten!"
BJ shrank back from his wife. When she was in labor, was the only time he was afraid of his wife. "Yes, dear. I was just…"
Peg finished her contraction and patted her husband on the hand "I know, BJ…"
BJ smiled, relieved "Don't worry, sweetheart, I know by now that it's just the contractions talking."
"Ahh! How'd I let you talk me into doing this a second time!" and the contractions had begun again
Crabapple Cove, Maine
"It's too early!" insisted Margaret loudly, as she was brought in to the delivery room
"Well, Pierces are notoriously early. My great-great-grandfather, Tombstone Pierce…"
"Pierce! Shut up!"
Hawkeye shut his mouth immediately. He was nervous, hence his inane babbling. He had always had the habit of hiding his feelings behind his jokes. He was nervous for he was just minutes away from becoming a father. The Pierces had wasted no time in reproducing, for Margaret had conceived on their honeymoon, which they had went on the second Margaret was released from the hospital. And now the baby was early by almost a month and a half, but Margaret and Hawkeye had been told that it was safe for the baby to come. Margaret had been so happy to find out she was pregnant, the whole biological clock thing, she had told Hawkeye. Hawkeye, on the other hand, had come into this whole thing with mixed feelings. On one hand, he really wanted to be a father, but on the other hand, he was still frightened about what might happen, especially considering how every time he closed his eyes to go to sleep at night, the image of the Korean woman strangling her baby on his orders played in his head constantly…
The baby was crying. No. It was wailing. They were going to be found. They were going to hear them. He was so scared of that. Everyone was and they were going to be killed all because of that one little baby.
Hawkeye Pierce stormed to the back of the bus "Keep that baby quiet!" he hissed at the South Korean woman, all niceties and politeness flew out the window as he realized that he was the only one who could save them from the North Korean soldiers, just outside the bus.
Hawkeye was on his way back to the front of the bus when he suddenly noticed it was quiet. Too quiet. The baby…It was wailing one minute and silent the next. Deathly silent.
Hawkeye spun around to find the Korean woman exactly as he had left her, still holding her baby, but now it was she that was crying. The hand that was supporting the baby's neck dropped, the baby's neck along with it…
"Hawkeye!" Margaret screamed, shaking Hawkeye from his daydream. From his nightmare.
Hawkeye rushed over to his wife's bedside. He hadn't had a flashback like that in a long time. It was almost like he was back there; he could feel it all, like it was just yesterday, the tiredness; both physical from lack of sleep and mental from tiredness of the fighting and the fear. The fear of death. He hadn't felt that in a long time, and it scared him because he thought he was cured, he thought he was ready for children, except he really had no choice this time. He couldn't walk away like he had that time at that party.
Margaret's hand slipped into his as she began another contraction and he helped her along, but clung to it for his own personal use; his lifeline. He didn't want to go back. After their wedding, he and Margaret had had a long talk about the war and how they never would be able to quite shake it. This was all so true, but this was getting ridiculous...
How do you leave the past behind when it keeps finding ways to get to your heart?
Mill Valley, California
"I can see the head!" Dr. Selman, Peg's obstetrician announced.
BJ turned eagerly to his wife "See, Peggy, you're almost there"
Peg fixed her husband with another one of her death glares "BJ Hunnicut, one more word of fake encouragement, and you're sleeping on the couch for a month"
Dr. Selman stifled a laugh, while BJ meekly apologized
"Quit laughing, she's serious" BJ mumbled out of the corner of his mouth to his colleague
"I heard that!"
"Yes dear" BJ said quickly, thinking how much his wife sounded like Margaret in the worst of her 'Major Houlihan' moments. BJ would kill Margaret if she had been giving her training in that.
It was right as Peg started a new contraction when the full impact of what was going on really hit him. They were having a baby. Granted, he had known that for nine months now, since their last visit to this hospital when he, himself had been the patient, but it didn't fully hit him until just now. They were having a baby. Another baby at that. But unlike with Erin, BJ would actually be around to watch this kid grow from an infant to a toddler. He would be around to see his or her first smile, first word, first steps…He would be the one this child first called 'Daddy'. There would be no stupid war to keep BJ from this child.
He had never fully gotten over how he had missed so many of Erin's firsts. It had damned near killed him to lose all that precious time, and though he would be here to see these child's firsts, it would never make up for the fact he hadn't seen Erin's too.
It reaches way down deep and tears you inside out till you're torn apart…
Crabapple Cove, Maine
Hawkeye clung to Margaret's hand, as much for himself as for her. The Korean baby just kept crying, then stopping abruptly over and over again and his words kept coming back to him "Keep that damned baby quiet!" It wouldn't stop. Hawkeye squeezed Margaret's hand tighter, trying to keep himself there. This was where he belonged; here with his wife, with their child soon to be born. He needed to leave the past behind. It was over. There was no war; it wasn't 1953 anymore. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't his fault the Korean woman had chose to kill her own child to save all of them. It was admirable, if you wanted to get right down to it, but it wasn't his fault.
The war was over…and it wasn't his fault…
Mill Valley, California
The war had torn them apart, BJ mused, as he stood by Peg, guiding her through childbirth and watching the miracle of life for the second time. Yes, the war had taken him away from his wife and child, but it wasn't his fault that he hadn't been with them. He needed to leave the past behind and look to the future. He had so much in his life to be thankful for, a beautiful wife, soon to be two beautiful children, he couldn't spend the rest of his life regretting something from the past that he hadn't had control over to begin with. He needed to leave the past behind. He had been granted an second chance at watching a child grow, one that he had come so close to losing nine months ago, and it would be a waste to lose it because he couldn't let go of the fact that he hadn't been around to see his first child.
The war was over…and it wasn't his fault…
Crabapple Cove, Maine
"A boy?" Hawkeye repeated the obstetrician's words in disbelief
"Yes, Hawkeye" Dr. Martin repeated, with a smile. He had delivered Hawkeye, it only made sense he would still be around to deliver Hawkeye's son as well. "You have a son"
"Margaret…we have a son" Hawkeye said to Margaret breathlessly
"A boy…" Margaret repeated, equally in awe "What do you think we should we name him? I think we should name him after somebody. We can't do Col…Sherman, Klinger already took that"
"Dirty, Lebanese scoundrel" Hawkeye cursed lightheartedly "But you're right, we should name our baby after someone. Someone important, to us, that is, before you go saying we should name him after McArthur"
"Douglas is a nice name…oh I was kidding, Hawkeye…We need to name the baby after someone important…"
"Someone meaningful…"
Mill Valley, California
"What are we going to name him, BJ, darling?" the sweet Peg Hunnicut had returned after she had given birth to their son. BJ was still in awe over this, but after both parents had performed the customary counting of all fingers and toes on the baby, Peg had turned to the task of naming the baby. BJ still couldn't get over the fact he had a son.
"A boy this time?" BJ repeated, like he was afraid the gender would change
"Yes, BJ" Peg tried to hide a smile "Should I take it then that even though you said that you'd be happy with either, you'd be a bit disappointed if we had another girl?"
This brought BJ out of his revile "No! I would have been happy with either…"
"BJ, dear, I was joking"
"Oh right"
"So what about names? We never decided on one for a boy"
BJ pondered this thought for a while. "I want to name him after Hawkeye" BJ said suddenly, breaking the companionable silence between him and Peg, making her jump at both this, and BJ's suggestion.
"BJ…" Peg said gently "You know I love Hawkeye as much as you do, and I think it's sweet you want to name the baby after your best friend but I draw the line at naming our son after a character from The Last of the Mohicans"
"No, I didn't mean naming him 'Hawkeye'. Best friend or not, I don't want a son named Hawkeye either, but Hawk's real name is Benjamin; he never uses it, but it's still his name. Could we name our son Benjamin?" BJ looked so hopeful, Peg hated ruining it, even if she wanted to.
Her face grew into a smile "I like it" BJ and Peg smiled down at their son "Our son, Benjamin Hunnicut"
Crabapple Cove
"If I do that, I'd have to make it stand for something, unlike his. I'll figure out what later" Hawkeye had been ranting like this for a good five minutes since Margaret had asked him for his input on baby names. She had been regretting it ever since.
"Hawkeye Pierce, if you don't tell me what you're talking about this instant…" Margaret left her threat open, knowing he had good enough imagination to think of what she might do to him. That paired with the fact he knew her as well as he did was a deadly combination, or rather deadly to him, it made her job a lot easier.
"I know what we should name the baby" Hawkeye said, his usual flair for the dramatic coming out full force "Let's name him BJ"