A/N: Just a short little somethin' my mind cooked up. It's set six weeks after 'Fault'...my speculation on what could happen.
The knock on her apartment door startled her out of her thoughts and she got up to answer the door, glimpsing through the peephole to see Elliott on the other side. "Hey," she said, opening the door. "What're you doing here?" It'd been six weeks since she had last seen him. 42 days since she had asked Cragen for a new partner, leaving without an explanation to her partner over why she was leaving. It had been so easy and so hard at the same time.
"I heard about what happened," he said, "I just wanted to make sure you were okay." She was in Narcotics now, subbing until someone more permanent was found.
The drug bust had gone down bad earlier that morning. Two cops ended up shot, one dying before they could reach the hospital. When he had heard the news, he closed his eyes and prayed to God until he had heard from Cragen that she was fine. It was what he had done everytime he heard someone had been hurt in that police division.
"I'm fine," she said, stepping back to let him, "Want something to drink?"
"Water's fine," he said, taking in her appearance. The six weeks had changed her. She'd lost a little weight, her hair was longer, but what caught him most was the look in her eyes. It looked like all of the fight was gone from them. "You look good."
"You're lying," she said simply, handing him a cold bottle of water. She took her own and they sat down on the couch, facing each other, but neither meeting the other's eyes. Six weeks had passed and she could still see straight through him.
"Are you coming back to the department," he asked, cutting to the chase.
"I don't know," she said truthfully. "I have another week with narcotics, then we'll have to see. How're you and your new partner getting along?"
"She's okay," he said shrugging, "Doesn't have your attitude."
"Iwould thinkthat would be a nice change," she said, finally looking up to meet his eyes.
"Olivia, can we stop playing this game," he finally asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
"We've been playing for so long that I don't think we know how to stop," she said. Water dripped off the water bottle onto her leg and she wiped it away absentmindedly, trying to do everything but look back up at him as she spoke."When you saw me fall, I saw you stop for a minute, debating on me or the boy. Why did you choose me?"
"I don't know," he said responded truthfully, "I was afraid that you were seriously hurt. I was afraid…."
"You might lose me," she asked, filling in the words he couldn't bring himself to say. He nodded, leaning forward, his arms resting on his knees, eyes focused on the floor between his feet.
"If I came back, what would we be? Partners? Best friends?" She ran her hands through her hair, voicing the thoughts that had been on her mind since she left.
"I don't know," he said honestly.
"Are we still best friends," she asked. "Because if we've lost that, then I may as well not come back to SVU."
"Best friends don't walk out on each other," he said. Even though he tried, the bitterness showed through in his voice.
"Elliott…," her voice trailed off as he looked up at her. "I couldn't do it."
"Couldn't do what," he asked.
"Pull the trigger," she said, "I knew there was chance it would miss him and hit you, or he'd pull the trigger and you'd be gone. I couldn't take that risk."
"Why not," he asked. He thought heknew the reason; he just needed to hear from her lips.
"I love you," she said, "Losing you would kill me quicker than any bullet or knife ever could."
"What do you love me as," he asked, "Partner? Friend? More than friends?"
"I don't know," she said, "I don't know if it's like as in a romantic love, but I know it's more than friends, but not quite like brother and sister. I just…I know that if I lost you, I don't know what I would do after that." She fell quiet, letting her words sink in. She spoke them without even thinking about what she was saying.
"I love you too," he said before the silence could reclaim them
"As what," she asked, repeating his question.
"I don't know," he said, repeating her answer, "But I do know that if anyone ever had a gun to your head, I wouldn't be able to pull the trigger if I knew it meant you could possibly get caught in the crossfire." He looked over at her and saw tears in her eyes. She didn't look sad, just confused and lost.
"So, what do we do now," she asked softly.
"I don't know," he said, "You have a week left in narcotics, right?" She nodded, looking back down at the bottle in her hands. "Let's see what happens after that."
"And if I return to SVU," she asked.
"Then we'll deal with that when it comes," he said, meeting her eyes again. "I just needed to know why you left and if there was something I could do to bring you back."
"I never really left," she said, offering him a small smile. He returned the smile, knowing exactly what she meant. Somehow, he knew they'd be okay. That whatever it was that was bringing them together and tearing them apart at the same time would cure it's self. It would just take time and willingness to admit that they both couldn't be strong all of the time.