I still don't own any video games or manhwa. This fic was inspired by Covid level boredom and isolation. Please enjoy.
This chapter is my own personal loathing of the beginning of XY. I loved the game's plot overall, but the initial back and forth was incredibly tedious. Also, I never understood why the father seems to be missing. Shout out to R/S for giving us both parents.
Chapter 3: Keep Going
I wanted to scream. Not at Shauna, because I knew it wasn't her fault, but I still wanted to. My fancy new [Gamer's Mind] aside, this day was starting to get way too much for me to handle. Mental disassociation can only get you so far during traumatic events, and at some point I would need to deal with the fact that technically I had died at some point today. But the shredded remains of my sense of self rallied long enough to demand I avoid public breakdowns at all cost, so I swallowed the bile rising in my throat at turned to smile at the hyper girl as she bounced up to me.
"Gryffin-chan!" Shauna giggled, "You're going to be my opponent in my pokémon-battling debut!"
[Quest Alert!]
A Taste of Victory!: Pokémon trainer Shauna has challenged you to a battle! Win your first Pokémon Battle!
Completion: +50 EXP, +65 EXP to [Team] pokémon, +50 to [REL] with Shauna and [Team Pokémon], +500
Failure: +10 EXP
Accept? [Y]/[N]
As surprising as it was that I actually had the option to decline, I tapped to accept almost as soon as it came up. I pulled Loxley back out of his ball, releasing the fox into my arms
"Are you ready for our first battle together Loxley?" I asked. He yipped and licked my cheek before jumping down to face the chespin Shauna had released with a cheer.
"Alright, buddy," I said, trying to discretely scan the game windows that popped up showing Loxley's moves and health bar, "You've got type advantage, and grass types tend to start slow too. So circle it fast and use Ember!"
Loxley was quick to dash off, a tiny fireball puffing out. It wasn't much of a battle. Shauna's chespin wailed in terror before attempting a weak Vine Whip. Loxley spat another Ember, then dodged a bit before doing it again. The third fire attack was too much for the chespin; it fainted with soft groan.
You have defeated Pokémon Trainer Shauna!
"Hey!" Shauna cried. "I wasn't done watching my cute li'l chespin yet!" But she recalled her pokémon with an exaggerated pout.
"Good job, Loxley!" I cheered my own Pokémon. He jumped back up, demanding to be held the moment I knelt down. I let out a watery laugh when he began licking my face and gave him a few skritches before putting him back in his ball. I waved away the screens to face Shauna.
"That was amazing Gryffin-chan!" she said. "Let me heal up your pokémon for you!"
"I think Loxley's actually okay," I declined politely. The battle had been so one-sided it wasn't even funny. "Will your chespin be alright? His name's Chesnut, right?"
"Oh, wow! You remembered!" Shauna grinned. "Chestnut should be just fine. There's a small healing clinic here Aquacorde; I'm gonna take him right over!"
"A healing clinic?" I asked, "Not a Pokémon Center?"
"Nah, Aquacorde's not big enough for a full center," Shauna explained, "But it's still better than Vaniville. There's not even a potion shop back home! Say hi to your mom for me!"
I made a vague noise of surprised agreement but Shauna had dashed off before I could say anything. I slipped out the arched gates to rest under a tree to review the game windows.
[Quest Update!]
A Taste of Victory!: Complete! +50 EXP, +65 EXP to [Team] pokémon, +50 to [REL] with Shauna and [Team Pokémon], €500
Loxley has levelled up!
I quickly scanned the updated window for Loxley's status. He was now level 6 and his HP was 210, which I felt was distinctly unfair and very different from the actual pokémon games. I could only suppose that it was meant to bring him in line with my game mechanics as we certainly weren't going by Nintendo's. His other stats were all either 11 or 12. A quick check proved that my pokémon's stats were automatically distributed, though I would have the option for specialized training when I hit Level 5. I thought about introducing Loxley to my Gamer Ability but …
I shook my head and sighed. I hadn't really come to terms with this new reality just yet. I'd barely been introduced to the system and I wasn't really comfortable with it yet. I certainly wasn't ready to explain it to anyone else. I needed to lean the Game myself before anything else. I pushed myself off the tree to head back to Vaniville and nearly walked straight into another pop-up window.
[Quest Alert!]
Off We Go!: Part 3: Home for Dinner! Make it home in time for dinner (5:30pm) so you can inform your mother about your pokémon journey!
Completion: +50 EXP, 1000
Failure: +10 EXP, 100
Accept? [Y]/[N]
I was back to having no choice but to accept. But it wasn't even 2PM yet, so I had plenty of time to get home. I hummed, thinking about the logistics of the day. It was 13 kilometers back to Vaniville according to a sign next to the gates; if I could run it in an hour and a half, I could definitely make it in three at an easier pace. I should have time to check out at least a little of Aquacorde before I had to head back.
Slipping back through the gates, I walked straight passed the café and down the steps to the fountain plaza below. From what I remembered, there was a pokéball shop off to the left. But the plaza was much bigger than I expected, the medieval architecture offering at least a dozen little shops along a solid wall, all long and narrow with thick doors and old fashioned wooden signs, the kind with only a picture to represent the store, but no words, because Medieval populations had limited access to education, and wouldn't have been able to read them anyways. After getting sidetracked for a few minutes in a stationary shop, drooling at art supplies I couldn't afford at the moment, I saw it: tucked between a white painted candle and metal cut out of a sewing machine was a wooden circle carved to look like a pokéball.
I happily skipped inside the shop. It had white plaster walls with blue wainscoting going halfway up. All the cabinets were locked so I went straight to the long wooden counter to speak to the clerk.
"Welcome to Bleu Riviére Balle Boutique! We are a specialized shop that sells only pokéballs," the shop clerk drawled in obvious recitation. "We are currently running une spéciale, buy dix pokéballs et receive une premiére balle supplémentaire."
Pleased that the special was still the same as in the games, I quickly dropped €2000 for the eleven precious pokéballs. I really wanted to try catching a pokémon on route 2, but it was already 2:45 and I needed to head back … home … to Vaniville. I did quickly check out a Potions Shoppe promotion near the stairs back to the higher level though, to get the free vial though.
XYXYXY
I was back to a full ED bar, so I jogged the 30 minutes it allowed before slowing to a walk the final hour and a half home. The monotony of the walking path allowed me to collect my thoughts and process at least a little of the day. I couldn't really make any concrete plans yet, but at least I discovered that my ED bar recharged one point every five minutes, but only if I was 'resting' and not doing anything that used up my endurance. Neither my health nor my mana were capable of automatic recovery, at the moment anyway. Hopefully I'd get a way to refill them without items too. I wished I could find a way to manage the game windows so they weren't popping up automatically, but I still couldn't find anything to change settings. And the map feature was still greyed out too. So much fun.
I poked my head in the front door right at 4:45. "Mom? I'm home!" I pulled the letter and Loxley's pokéball out, knowing I was going to have to go through the explanation scene.
Sure enough, Grace Gabena was quick to rush over to me.
"So," she beamed, "What did you and the neighbors end up doing? Wait one second, Gryffin!" She eyed my hand with excitement. "Is that a pokéball you have there? You got your very own pokémon? Lucky you!" I was instantly crushed in hug. "How about that, you're a pokémon trainer now, too! Congratulations!"
"Um, mom?" I managed to wiggle out of the embrace and held the letter out as a barrier.
"Huh? A letter for me?" Grace was successfully distracted by reading it. "It says it's from someone named Sycamore. What could it be? A love letter? … … …"
Wow. This was even more embarrassing in person. Go figure.
"Wow, what lovely handwriting…" She continued to herself. "Hmm? What do we have here? A request… Oh, I see! Oh, my chouchouette, we've barely unpacked and so many exciting things are happening! It's a good thing I made a special dinner! We have so much to celebrate!"
I happily let her shoo me upstairs to wash up. Trying to ignore the instant +500 to REL notice I got from my mother, I remembered an earlier thought. Where was my father in this game, anyway? Time to find out…
XYXYXY
It took less than two rings for the phone to pick up on the other end.
"Patrick Higashi," a man stated with a crisp professionalism.
"Hey, dad," I gulped, hoping the man didn't hear how fake my voice was. "How are you doing?"
"Oh, sweetie!" He suddenly sounded so relieved. "I'm surprised you called! Are you … in Kalos already?"
The question sounded so sad, and I felt instantly guilty. It was clear after just moments on the phone that the numbers in [Relationships] were not a joke; this man was so happy to hear from his daughter that I felt doubly guilty for, well, not actually being her. From the tiptoed conversation I forced myself through, it was clear that there had been a very nasty divorce that spurred Grace Gabena to move back to her home region of Kalos; Patrick Higashi was actually only just preparing to move to Alola himself to take a new job as the assistant director for Interpol in Hau'oli City. I congratulated him enthusiastically, trying to be happy for him and not making plans to visit as soon as possible. Except that he suggested it himself, cautiously, and was so happy when I immediately agreed. I tried to feel guilty and not plot a mental list of pokémon I wanted. Really.
"It was really wonderful to hear from you honey," he insisted, "I know it must have been a rough day."
"You have no idea," I groaned, throwing myself back into the conversation. "I'm happy enough to be going on Pokémon journey, but a few days' notice would have been nice."
"Pokémon … journey?" Patrick choked, and the line went dangerously silent for several long moments before he exploded. "Your mother swore she wouldn't put you up to that!"
Sensing I was entering dangerous territory, I carefully related the day's events to my new father. Apparently, the divorce was nastier than I expected. The girl who had been Gryffin Higashi hadn't had much interest in a pokémon journey at all, despite Grace's enthusiasm and pushing her daughter towards rhyhorn racing for years. Patrick hadn't been happy to hear about my name change, either. But he had recognized Shauna's last name, as well as Serena's. Apparently, my new friend's parents were old friends of my mother's. Patrick and I were both highly suspicious of all the … coincidences.
"As long as you're happy," he finally sighed. "And safe. That's all I want."
"I will be," I promised. "And I'll visit you. And call."
We shared an uncomfortable goodbye before I hung up and tucked my phone back in my pocket. I straightened my clothes before heading back down.
Grace had finished cooking, but after my phone call to Patrick, I didn't have much energy to talk to her. Dinner was mostly her chattering in excitement and I welcomed the distraction of clearing the table.
"Okay!" Grace finally cheered. "Let's get you and your fennekin ready for your journey!" She handed me a very large, very pink purse that I had ignored in the closet earlier. "Here you are, Gryffin. I even packed your new dress!"
I tried not to twitch in irritation. I knew Grace meant well… or not, considering what Patrick had told me, but neither the bag nor the blue monstrosity inside were fit for outdoor activities. I knew that, like France, Kalos really emphasized the aesthetics of … everything … but … I would be getting more practical gear ASAP.
"My what an unexpected turn of events," my mother continued undeterred. "It's like a sudden last burst of speed from a racer in a Rhyhorn race! You made friends! You met your pokémon! And now you get to take a lap around Kalos! And don't forget your map!"
Smiling, because now maybe the [Map] feature would work, I took the final items from Grace and let her herd me out the door. It wasn't even 7 PM so I still had about two hours of light; hopefully I could make it to Route 2 before it got dark.
I power walked out of Vaniville in record time and just as soon as I left the gates I ran into another game window.
[Quest Update!]
Off We Go! Part 3: Complete! +50 EXP, 1000
Hidden Objective 1/3: Arrive more than ten minutes early (+10 EXP per ten minutes): +40 EXP
Hidden Objective 2/3: Give your mom the [letter] from the professor: +15 EXP, +500 REL with [Grace Gabena], +250 to REL with [?], (5) potions
Hidden Objective 3/3: Call your dad!: +15 EXP, +500 REL with [Patrick Higashi], (5) pokéballs
Congratulations! [Map] is now available!
Calculating …
…
…
Congratulations! (3) General Locations added to [Map]! Vaniville Map complete! Route 1 Map complete! +250 EXP!
[Pokestops] feature now available in [Map].
[Congratulations]!
You have leveled up!
I blinked in shock. I hadn't expected to level up again so quickly. I flipped through the [Map] section and quickly had an explanation. I got 50 EXP for each new location I discovered, and the same amount for finishing the sub-map of the area, plus accessing known [Pokestops] would get me an additional 10 EXP every day. I looked back at the gates, and sure enough, there was now a little purple Pokestop icon spinning lazily in the middle of the path.
So it seemed Pokestops would be good for leveling up early, but they weren't going to do much as I got stronger. Hopefully better locations gave more points. Mouth twisting, I switched back to my status page.
Gryffin Gabena lvl 3, 155/302 EXP to next level, €2500
You have (5) points to distribute!
You can pick (1) Perk!
I quickly pulled up perks again and nearly choked at the new options.
[Firestarter] Fire pokémon are more likely to appear! +10% EXP gains for all fire pokémon. -10% MP usage for all fire type moves.
[Irresistible Fluff] Cute pokémon are more likely to appear! +10% effectiveness to cute type moves, +10% [REL] gains with female characters when cute pokémon are on your team
[Punctual] If you're early, you're on time, and if you're on time, you're late! +1 to WIS when chosen
[Daddy's Girl] You love your dad the most! +€10000, +1000 to [REL] with Patrick Higashi, -1000 to [REL] with Grace Gabena, +50% to [REL] gains with Patrick Higashi, -50% to [REL] gains with Grace Gabena
[Momma's Little Angel] You love your mom the most! +€10000, +1000 to [REL] with Grace Gabena, -1000 to [REL] with Patrick Higashi, +50% to [REL] gains with Grace Gabena, -50% to [REL] gains with Patrick Higashi
Holy shit.
I had no idea what had happened between Grace and Patrick during their divorce but I refused to get into the middle of it. Those last two perks would never be used. Never. No amount of money was worth that kind of drama. I quickly picked [Punctual] before moving to distribute my AP.
I added to LUK immediately. I could only hope it would apply to my personal life, because the issue with my parents was beyond troubling. I shuddered at the thought of the 'perks' again. Never. Just no.
Since I'd added to my WIS with the perk's bonus point, I added one AP to each of my physical stats. For the final point, I debated adding to my low charisma, before deciding my DEX was more important at the moment. But I promised not to ignore the stat during the next level up.
…There'd been this horrible fanfic once, where the main character used CSM as a dump stat… I did not want to end up like that.
I checked my status page one more time.
Gryffin Gabena lvl 3, 155/302 EXP to next level, €2500
HP: 80
MP: 9
ED: 7
STR: 7
DEF: 7
VIT: 7
DEX: 4
INT: 6
WIS: 6
CSM: 2
LUK: 5
I had barely closed my status screen before a new window came up on my HUD.
[Quest Update!]
Off We Go! Part 4: Catch a Pokémon! Now that you have pokéballs, let's catch a pokémon and finish your first day on a high note!
Completion: +100 EXP, 500, +500 to all [Relationships]
Failure: +10 EXP
Accept? [Y]/[N]
Sighing, I clicked [Y] just to get it out of my sight. Clearly there was no turning back from this path and … well … I'd be lying if I said my inner ten-year-old wasn't screaming for joy underneath all of the turmoil. No matter how depressing the way I'd come into the situation, I was going to give it my best shot.
If nothing else it was a great distraction from my looming emotional problems. Hyper focus for the win.
And with 7 ED, I could now jog 35 minutes without getting winded, so I tucked my arms around my chest and took off down Route 1 again. It was the third time on the trail, and the first time without a schedule, so I could properly take in what was properly called Vaniville Pathway. It was a cute walking trail, I guess. Lots of oak trees, some flowers because it was spring, daisies and tulips and stuff, but it was nothing special. And it all felt very … managed; nothing like the wild forests back home. And the packed dirt held no tire tracks, not even from bikes, so I had to wonder how Vaniville got supplies. 13 kilometers was a long way to walk for groceries.
I pushed past my ED bar again to jog the last ten minutes into town. My LUK was holding out and I still hadn't triggered an injury. I wandered along the east side of the lower plaza this time, peeking in the potions shop, but I already had 6 potions, and they wouldn't sell me super potions without a gym badge. The Healing Clinic also got a quick run through, as Loxley wasn't hurt. I did find out there was a Pokémon League sponsored Aquacorde Inn in the building behind the clinic that accepted trainers for free though, and I quickly signed up for a single room. I was informed by the clinic nurse that check-in for the inn closed at midnight, but I had no intentions of being out in monster infested forests in the dark so it wasn't going to be an issue.
And then, finally, I was staring at the bridge leading north to Route 2. I let Loxley out as I went across the half kilometer span and checked the time on my HUD to see it was just past 8:30, and though he wove around my feet chirping I didn't pick him up again. I twisted my lips as I checked the sun to the west. It was a little low, though with the hills in the area it was hard to tell exactly and while the sky was still blue, the beginnings of gold were on the western horizon. Night was coming soon, and I didn't remember if that made a difference in which pokémon appeared in Kalos.
I did remember that if I went too close to the woods I'd probably trigger the pokéball catching tutorial; that was something I wanted nothing to do with at the moment. My emotional capacity for people was … nonexistent for the time being. The day had simply been too much. I would finish this stupid quest for the day and then go back to the hotel and … I don't know. Probably cry and sleep until noon. If I was lucky.
"Kiiiiiin?" chirped Loxley from below.
I looked down at my fire fox with a brittle smile. "You've got no idea what you're in for little buddy," I murmured. "But later yeah? We've got some wild pokémon to catch."
Loxley yipped cheerily, and trotted off to the wide grassy embankment off the left of the path. A few bunnelby were startled, jumping high out of the grass before dashing off, but I wasn't interested in the grey rabbits. From what I remembered, the species available this close to Aquacorde were pretty basic; just some bugs and a few low powered normal types. Several fletchling made dive bombs at us as they passed, and while the robin/hawk were cool, I already had a fire type. There was one pokémon though, common as it was, that I wanted.
"Piiiiiiii!"
Loxley yelped, and dodged a dark blur as he ran back to my side. I grinned as I watched the shadow climb up into the sky. The waning light revealed it to be one of the few pokémon I had always loved.
It was a pidgey. And a big one.
Now fully in the sun, I could see the cream and white color of the feathers as the pidgey swooped around for another tackle.
"Bring it down, Loxley," I whispered to my fennekin. He crouched in front of me with a snarl that was too cute to be properly intimidating. "Ember, then bite and don't let go."
It was kind of amazing how intelligent pokémon were, because Loxley had no problems following my commands. The pidgey squawked in alarm when the tiny flame puffed in front of its face; it dropped to the ground right in front of me and Loxley was quick to grab it by a leg. I rushed to pull a pokéball out of my purse, and the pidgey managed to give Loxley a few good whacks with its beak before I smashed the ball directly between its wings. It dissolved into a flash of light, and I was left clutching a shaking pokéball in a death grip. I held my breath, trying to steady the whirl of emotions, and it stopped moving after a few good shakes. I let my lungs collapse in a whoosh.
I'd caught my first pokémon.
Staring at the ball in my hand, it occurred to me that my HUD was still flashing in the corner of my vision. Frowning I called it up and flicked through the menu. Loxley had gained nearly half a level in EXP, though I hadn't gotten anything, and the pidgey I had caught was now registered in [Team] showing the gender, male, and level, 4. I quietly tapped in the name 'Tobio', which like 'Loxley' was a name I used regularly. I had given the name to my first pidgey and that had been the first pokémon I ever got to level 100 in the games, all the way back in the original Pokémon Yellow. But looking down at the ball in my hands, I suddenly felt a pit open up in my stomach. I wanted this Pokémon, I really did, but I also didn't want to open the ball.
I didn't want to play this Game. I wanted to win. I didn't have a way out. I didn't want to take it if I did.
My desire to cheer at my success at the quest and the reluctance to deal with another living creature right now kept butting heads inside and I honestly didn't know what to feel anymore.
After several long breaths, I reminded myself that sometimes, 'happy' was a decision, so I'd just try for that. I tucked my new pidgey's ball away and grinned down at Loxley. The little fox was sitting eagerly at my feet, ears twitching cutely.
"Good job, buddy," I smiled resolutely, bending down to rub those giant fluffy nubs. "Do you want to keep going?"
Loxley stood up on his hind legs to place his front feet on my shins, yipping excitedly. Laughing, I scooped him up like a baby and skritched his stomach for a few minutes before setting him back down.
"Alright little guy, we're gonna get to work then," I told him. "You're gonna end up part psychic you know? So you know what needs to happen next?" Loxley purred and cocked his head to the side in confusion at the question. "We need to practice your special attacks. That means your Ember attack," I continued when it was clear I had lost the little fox.
I might have been overestimating his ability to understand human language, I had no real way to judge pokémon intelligence yet, but he understood 'Ember' well enough. With an excited yowl we strode back into the grass, intent on flushing out more pokémon. There were several bug types, caterpie, weedle, and scatterbug, in the area and Loxley made short work of them.
It was … disconcerting to say the least. Some fled after a single ember attack, a few curled up in a faint, but others … it wasn't like the games at all. I frowned at the grey-green carapace of what had been a caterpie with a tinge of nausea. It would have been worse if it hadn't been an insect, but the unpleasant revelation that pokémon could be killed shook me from the emotional detachment of the Game.
I might have died, but this was still life.
And for several unfortunate bug pokémon, now it wasn't. I stared at the last bit of light on the horizon, helplessly shaking and sad and angry for a whole host of reasons. I didn't want to go back to town. I didn't want to stop, because I knew if I did I would cry and cry and I hated that.
Loxely yipped at my feet again. I gave him the best smile I could, but from his worried expression and attempt to climb my pants I knew it was a poor caricature at best.
"We're not gonna quit just yet, okay?" I whispered. "I … I need to keep going." Because if I stopped now I might not get back up again.
My pokémon mewled softly before dashing off into the brush. Confused, I began to follow, only to see him return moments later dragging a huge stick much too big for him.
I eyed the piece of wood carefully. It was too big for Loxley, perhaps, but it was to perfect size for me for a walking staff. And walking staves counted as weapons. I used [Observe] on the branch as I twisted my grip.
[Oak Stick- Large]
A long oak branch that can be used as a make-shift pole-arm. +3 [STR]
After trimming a few twigs and leaves sticking out of the main body of wood, I grinned and made sure my new acquisition was equipped in the menu. With a Strength of 10, I was on par with some of pokémon around the area and would be able to at least try to join Loxley in combat.
I grinned down and my baby fox. "I toss 'em, you torch?"
From the toothy smile, Loxley gave me in return, I knew he understood well enough. Thus we wandered a little further down the riverside and I got to take my frustrations out on several unlucky critters.
We spent another 2 hours wandering the bank in the dwindling twilight fighting the random pokémon we encountered. I tried to avoid killing anything as much as I could, but some bugs just couldn't stand up to even the smallest fires. Two weedle ended up as snacks for Loxley. I got a good rhythm going, smacking errant monsters with the oak branch before quickly flipping them into the air where Loxley would spit Ember at them. I annoyed quite a few bunnelby that way before they could run off. I still didn't want them. I did catch a rather determined Fletchling that dodged several swats before Loxley managed to pin it down and a scatterbug that wasn't shiny, but had a ruff that was a much brighter yellow with blue spots.
But the best news was, now that Loxley and I were working as a team, we both got experience, even when the pokémon ran off. It wasn't much, just 10 EXP each when they ran, and between 15-20 EXP when they fainted or, well, died, giving me 167 EXP total. I even managed to get a [Basic Blunt Weapons] added t o [Skills] before we called it quits just after 10 PM when I just couldn't take it anymore.
I didn't say anything to Loxley on the way back to town, but I think he knew my temporary mood lift was fading fast. He wove circles around my feet before I put my makeshift staff away in my inventory so I could pick him up. I carried him all the way over the bridge and back to the inn and he purred the whole time, the smug little fluff bucket. He knew he had me wrapped around his adorable little paws.
I barely muttered a hello to the old lady and her spritzee at the front desk at the inn before shuffling up to my assigned room and collapsing on the bed to muffle my sobs with the pillow.
If I actually got stuck in a Gamer fic, I would have so many issues. I mean, I already have issues. I did say this fic was therapeutic right? Exploring how I honestly respond to trauma. Haaaaa...
To Vilgax: 2 reviews? I love you! And yeah, perspectives are coming :)