The final story is told, our journey has ended. This has been one long emotional ride for me as the writer and I know for at least two readers who have been left in tears. Thank you to everyone who's read and left feedback. Feedback feeds the soul. small /cheesy moment

New Beginnings For An Old Soul

Defining moments, memories, things that people say and do that shape our lives. A kind gesture, a good grade; even a knock on the door. Everything leaves ripples behind; it has an effect on what happens next.

But what happens when you can't remember those ripples? What happens when you can't remember how you got here and what exactly happened to shape your life?

Lindsey doesn't remember. He doesn't even know that he's had a life before this, he doesn't remember the hard times, the sweet moments or the little girl with bright blue eyes that sparkled when he called her 'Peanut'.

He dreams about it, but he thinks they're nightmares and nothing more. He dreams of images of things far too unspeakable for a southern boy to grasp.There have been nights he woke up screaming, grasping his wrist and gripping onto his fingers to make sure it's still there.Other nights he has dreams of himself dressed in a suit making deals with the devil by day and drowning his sorrows in whiskey by night.

Lindsey groaned as his gloved hands gripped onto the bale of hay, lifting it and carrying it outside to the horses. "Here ya go." He smiled, dropping the bale and slicing open the twine with the knife he kept in his pocket.

Standing up, he moved over to the fence and hoisted himself up, his feet dangling over the edge as he looked out at the rising sun. Nothing but the wind and the horses could be heard this early, not even the kids the next house over who insisted on coming by to play with the kittens that lived in the shed.

A chill ran through him and he rubbed his hands over his sun-kissed-warm skin, the morning sun burning into his already tanned shoulders. He closed his eyes and remembered the dream that woke him before the sun…

"Lindsey, why did you come back?" His arms were crossed over his chest, his eyes narrowed as he looked at the chained man in the basement of Wolfram and Hart.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you" Lindsey snorted and stood, running his fingers through his hair and walking over to the bars. "Hell, I don't."

The two men stood face to face like they has so many times, only this time bars and anger separated them. They stood that way for what felt like hours, but were really moments, silently having a battle of wills until a loud screeching sound made them turn.

"You didn't answer me, Lindsey." His tone was flat and his eyes burned into Lindsey's flesh, even looking away he could feel it. He knew that Angel wasn't going to back down until he got the answers he wanted.

The thought of lying just to get him out of here crossed his mind. But he second guessed that… why bother when he's got nothing else to lose? He didn't haveanything left that was of worth, the firm took that from him and Angel's lackeys took his tattoos away that kept him hidden, so what else did he have to lose?

Nothing.

"For you." Lindsey finally spoke honestly, glancing up at Angel and waiting for a comment. He laughed when one didn't come. "What? Did I leave you speechless there, big guy?"

"Just amused."

"How so?"

"You're here in a cell where I helped put you and you're telling me that you came back for me? What, you didn't think it was fair for the Senior Partners to rip me apart and not you?"

"You have to be the stupidest vampire in history." Lindsey's tone was acidic and his eyes narrowed. "I think Spike's beat you on the 'brains' part of this Champion contest…"

Angel growled low in his throat, edging towards Lindsey only to be stopped by bars. "Fuck you."

"Not interested," he snapped back quickly – maybe a bit too quickly– making his way over to the bunk and leaning back against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. "You don't get it, do you?"

"Well, you did say that Spike was smarter than me… which just proves that you're out of your mind. Spike is no-"

"When I left, what did I say?" Lindsey's words cut Angel off as he restlessly got off the bed and moved to the bars, just out of Angel's reach. "Don't let Wolfram and Hart win; don't let them make you play their game." Lindsey's eyes were wide with anger. "No sooner am I gone do you do exactly what I told you not to do. You're like mentally deficient and that proves it."

"We're cha-"

"You finish that sentence with 'we're changing things here' I swear I will rip your head off if it's the last thing I do. That was my line, Angel. That was always my line as they ripped and tore away everything that made me who I was. There was a point when I forgot why I took this job and why I was doing what I did despite everything I wanted for myself."

Angel rolled his eyes, moving back and leaning against the wall opposite of Lindsey's cage. "Wake me when you're done."

"Fuck you, are you even listening to me? No, you don't ever listen. That was your damn problem. You never listen to what anyone says because they're not some tortured vampire like you are. Well boo-fucking-hoo. Not everyone has to be dead to have a tortured soul, Angel. If you ever got off that high horse of yours once in a while you'd see that. You would see what was right in front of you and that's the firm sticking it to you. That rod firmly shoved up your ass isn't your own uptight 'woe is me, I have a soul' nature, that's the Senior Partner's puppet strings pulling you in every direction they want."

Angel wasn't about to admit that Lindsey was makinga few points of clarity here. He stayed silent but kept listening.

"You needed a piece of who you were; the only thing that would give you clarity was a good dose of how it was. If you want to admit it or not, I was most likely the only damn one to have what you needed." Lindsey roughly ran his fingers through his hair, shaking his head and looking down. "I hid from the firm, nearly costme my life, but it was on my own terms. I came back here to kick your ass back onto the right track; you were so far off course that you were helping the firm get closer to their goal. That same fuckin' goal you cut my goddamn hand off for. You're working for hell its self, inside the beast. I'm living on my own terms, my own life and my own choices. Now, you tell me what's wrong with that picture…"

Clearing his throat Angel moved off of the wall. "I'm leaving." His tone was impassive as he ran his fingers ran through his hair, turning away from Lindsey, not wanting him to see the look in his eyes.

"Where the fuck are you going?" Lindsey tried to keep the panic from his voice, but it was hard when he was on the locked side of a cage. "Angel…" His knuckles turned white from gripping the bars.

"I'm going to see Gwen, I've have to fix this." That was the last thing Lindsey heard before the metal door slammed shut.

"Baby?" Her voice was soft as she walked barefoot out to the fence, her honey blond hair blowing in the breeze behind her. Her arms wrapped around his waist from behind and she rested her cheek on his side. "You're up so early. Couldn't sleep?" Lindsey nodded, sighing and staying silent. "That's starting to worry me, sweetie." Her hands ran over his chest, feeling the defined muscles under her fingertips.

"I know," he muttered, pulling away from her arms and swinging his legs over the fence to give her a proper hug. "Damnit," he swore, shaking his head as he glanced down at his now torn pair of jeans. "I can't keep doin' this."

She laughed at him, reaching down and touching the edges of the torn fabric and simply smiling. "I just think of it as more material for the baby blanket." Her eyes turned up towards his, a devious glint in her eyes. "Or maybe it's just some sneaky way for me to get your pants off…"

Lindsey laughed and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her tightly to him before turning and pressing her firmly into the fence. "All you gotta do, darlin', is ask." He dipped his face to her neck and started nipping softly. "Or just do…" His eyes closed as he rested his head against her shoulder, the feeling of her fingers in his hair soothing away everything that ailed him.

Her laughter only made him grin, her arms wrapping around his neck before she remembered why she'd come outside. "S-stop, Lindsey." She laughed again, pressing her hands against his chest and pushing him away. "I wanted you to come inside…" she said, letting her words hang as she took him by the hand and started pulling him towards the house.

"I'm comin'," he laughed, shaking his head as he followed his wife back into the house. Lindsey let himself be pulled into the kitchen when he found it was his turn to grin like a fool.

Set out on the table was a stack of pancakes with three lit candles sticking out. They were halfway burnt and the wax had made a small pool in the center of the top pancake. "Hey, what's this?"

"Happy birthday." Standing on her tiptoes she kissed his cheek. "Goodbye twenty's," she teased him, kissing him again before pointing to the table. "Sit and blow out your candles."

"Yes ma'am." He smirked giving her a mock salute and sitting in his chair. "Smells great," he commented, leaning forward and blowing out his candles. "I hope you made some for you." Lindsey glanced up at her, winking and wrapping his arms around her waist. "I'll share." He took his fork and cut a bite, feeding her the first bite before taking one for himself.

She started to squirm and pulled herself off his lap, he watched quietly as she moved over and picked up a box and brought it back to him. "Happy birthday, baby." Sitting down she handed him the box, curling her knees up under her chin and watching anxiously.

Lindsey smiled and shook the box. Hearing nothing, he started to pull at the brown wrapping paper, smiling as his fingers moved over the surface of the paper before it fell to the floor.

His eyes widened when he looked inside, bits of fabric and memories greeted his sight and a broad smile slipped over his lips as he pulled out the handmade blanket. "I can't believe you did this, it's beautiful." His fingers slowly moved over the patches, his smile only getting bigger as he remembered what each patch was. Some were hers and some his; there was even a piece of the cloth napkin from their first date two years ago. "Hey." He tipped his head to the side, pointing to a small patch of fabric that he couldn't quite place. "What's this from? I don't remember a dress of yours like that…"

She moved closer and looked, shaking her head. "Not mine, it was mixed in with some of your things and I thought it was pretty. You don't know where it's from?"

"No," Lindsey murmured, his fingers moving over the piece of slightly faded lavender floral material, his mind filling with a fond memory that he couldn't see clearly.

It took him a moment to shake the feeling off before he stood and wrapped the blanket around his shoulders, moving over to sit next to her and wrapping his arms around her waist. "Thank you darlin', its amazing." A cocky smirk crossed his lips as his hands moved lower on her hips. "Think we should forget about breakfast and break this in right…"