Author's note: Don't flame me. I'm just taking a break and I'm getting nuts. Darn you, tight school schedule! –dies-

And oh yes, this whole idea is not mine. The credit goes to Super Shayde who did this first with the Harry Potter characters (check it out, they're funny!). And some other bunch of people that I happen to not know. Two words though: Don't sue. ;P Have you no sense of humour? Bleurgh. Nah, j/k. But really.

Summary: I guess this is what happens if every character in the Chronicles of Narnia has their own answering machine. :D

The Magician's Nephew Characters' Answering Machines

Young Polly Plummer

Hullo, I'm Polly Plummer. Hate to say that I'm not home so please leave your message after the beep. P.S. If you're Digory Kirke, please wash your face for goodness sake. You're smudging the phone. Beep!

Young Digory Kirke

Hello there, stranger. You have reached the answering machine of Digory Kirke. Care to leave your message after the beep. If you're Polly Plummer, please, I have washed my face, thank you. –glares- You don't have to call just to remind me. And yes, do you have to touch one of the rings? Honestly! Beep!

Uncle Andrew

I'm a magician! I don't use any un-magi device – er … is this thing on? –shrieks- What is this red thing? Why can't it be yellow or green? Beep!

Aunt Letty

Hullo … do not speak to my brother Andrew. It's unnecessary. Don't speak to me either. I'm boring. Beep!

Jadis

I don't even know what I am doing here. Oh yes, if you're a dolt by the name Digory Kirke who has another dolt friend named Polly Plummer, please strike the bell. Fast. I'm waiting for you. –cackles- Ahem. Beep!

Aslan

Peace, dear ones. If you're Digory Kirke, I have only one question for you: HAVE YOU NEVER STRUCK A BELL BEFORE? HONESTLY! OF ALL BELLS! Beep!

The Cabby/King Frank

Er … I'm King Frank, the first King of Narnia (but I was a cabby! Really!). Please leave your message after the beep sound. If it's about that horrible witch, try Aslan's line. Thank you. Beep!

Queen Helen

Four words. Try my husband's line. –beyond confused- Beep!

Strawberry

I talk … I can actually talk! But I don't have any finger to push this button – oy, you! Yeah, you with the – the – whoever you are! Do you have any finger? Please push this button for me. By the way, do you have the white stuff? Beep!

Talking Beasts

-all together- Yay! Is this the first joke? –buzz sound in the background- -Jackdaw steps forward- I think this is the second joke. Beep!

Fledge

-sings- Woo-hoo! I believe I can fly! I believe I can touch the sky! What is this thing anyway? Is this a karaoke machine or something? Ooh, I wonder what this button does ... Beep!

Mother

… Beep!

Author's note: You must review or I'm getting more nuts. If I've left any of the major character in the first book, please, tell me. Next: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe characters' answering machines. Ta.