Disclaimer: Any characters recognized from Lord of the Rings or the discontinued anime Yu Yu Hakusho do not belong to either Bressa or TGB. Any references to other things that are in any way related to something not belonging to me don't belong to me.
A/N: I bet none of you saw this coming. Unless you read the last chapter of Africa… If you're just tuning in, GO BACK TO DISNEYWORLD AND START THERE! This is the fourth of a series of rather long fics that are written for fun, and are not always scrutinized as closely as other more serious projects. Laughs are continuous, and reviews are kindly appreciated. Thanks.
The Adventures of Sara and Faythe
By Bressa W. and TheGreatBlonde
#4 Lost in Middle-earth
Chapter One
Homecoming
"…Are we in…?" Sara asked.
"I think so…" Faythe said.
"WE'RE HOME!" Legolas, Haldir, Aragorn and Faythe exclaimed. "HOME! HOME, HOME, HOME!" They danced around a little bit.
Aragorn stopped and went into King-mode. "We need to get to Minas Tirith."
"Wait—where are we now?" Kurama asked, confused.
"Closer to Bree," he replied. "We need to go south."
And so, they started southward.
Azazel, who had followed them, muttered, "I warned you," under his breath.
"The first person who cracks a joke about me and Hobbits," Hiei said, glaring at the rest of the group. A few people looked at each other.
"We wouldn't do that," Sara assured him. "Azazel wouldn't let us."
"None of this seems different from home," Taro said, inspecting a flower. He picked said flower and handed it to Kurama, who smiled.
"This adventure isn't going to be like the movies, is it? You know, with the Ring and Mount Doom, and all?" Sara asked Faythe nervously.
Faythe just stared at her like she was insane.
They walked for a while, then Jake started groaning. "Can we break for the night? Please?"
Aragorn looked at him like he was crazy, but nodded. "We might as well. Nights are cold this far north." He pointed to Legolas. "Get a fire going."
"Sure," Legolas sighed. He was happy to be home, but wasn't looking forward to seeing his father. Or getting his clothes/hair/nails dirty.
"Jake, help me set up camp," Faythe commanded after leaving Vinnie and Lee-lee with Sara and Azazel.
"Do I have to?" he whined.
She glared at him. "Do you know who I am?"
"…Faythe?"
"I'm your Queen! And you will obey me." She suddenly seemed more Elven and less Hobbit/Demon/Human-ish.
"Okay. Geez." He started spreading blankets.
Azazel, being a guardian angel, was concerned about Faythe and Aragorn. He was so much older than she was! He could have been her father! …ew…
He went up to Aragorn and tapped his shoulder. "Excuse me," he asked, "But what're your intentions with Faythe?"
Aragorn glared at him. "I married her. That kid you're holding is our kid."
Azazel looked down at blonde-haired/grey-eyed/pointy-eared Vinnie. "Really? He looks like an-"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Fine. I'm just concerned for her well-being," Azazel replied a little coolly.
Aragorn's glare hardened. "I take good care of her." He walked away, towards the woods. "This conversation is over."
Azazel just watched him leave. After all, he wasn't in charge of Aragorn. Kings were out of his range. Future Kings, however…
"Taro, put that down!"
Taro dropped the helmet he had picked up and looked at Azazel sheepishly.
"Sorry."
"Honestly, you don't know where that's been."
"Probably on someone's head," Jake said, looking up from whatever it was he was doing (we feel he was taking a break, but we can't be sure as the point was never elaborated on). When it came to Jake, no one asked questions.
Except Faythe. "Jake, why aren't you doing what I told you to?"
"Key words there; you told me to. So, I'm not. You're not my queen."
Faythe blinked, then stiffened. She glared at him fiercely. "Pardon me? What?"
Jake jumped up and started back into his work.
Azazel made a "tsk"ing sound at Faythe. "You shouldn't be so hard on him."
"Azazel, don't you have someone else to counsel?" Faythe said wearily. "I'm really not in the mood for it."
Azazel sighed and went over to Sara, who was reading to Lee-lee. "What're you reading?" he asked nonchalantly.
"'The War of the Worlds,' by H.G. Wells. It's a classic," she replied. Then, she continued reading.
"Sara, I hardly think that's appropriate to read as a bedtime story to a month-old baby!" Azazel cried, beside himself with righteous anger.
"Of course it isn't," she agreed, "This is a daytime story. You can't read it when you're falling asleep."
"DON'T ANY OF YOU PEOPLE HAVE MORALS!" Azazel shouted.
Hiei looked up from helping with the fire. "Geez, someone has a stick up his ass."
Legolas nodded in agreement. "Lighten up a little," he said. "It's not like you're dead or anything."
"I'll have you know that your opinion was not asked for," Azazel spat. He sat down next to Sara and traded kids with her. "He likes you better."
"He is dead, Legolas," Faythe said. "That's Sara's guardian angel. He was mine too, but he sucked and could handle his job."
"Thanks for the support."
"No problem, Azazel."
Azazel smirked at him and ten ignored him, turning to Sara; another future ruler in his charge. "You haven't been home in a long time, Sara," he admonished.
She shrugged. "I've been busy."
"You've been on vacation for almost a year," he reminded her.
"And I was entirely prepared to go home, too! I've seen most of the world, now I'm stuck in Middle-earth! Please, if you have any idea how I can get out of here, I'd love to hear it."
Azazel just sighed, wishing he did know how to get home.