4:19 PM-The Locker Room

The two of them walked into the opening corridor of the locker room. Just around the corner was the apparently terrifying place. "What a great escape!" smiled Calvin. "Thanks to me, of course."

"Hey!" insisted Hobbes. "I believe a great deal of the credit goes to the soon-to-be-royal cat!"

"Yeah, but when I'm king, I'll be so powerful, no one will be able to upstage me!"

Hobbes pounced on him. "You're not king yet! Pinned you."

The two of them fought in a classical way, and bounced into the locker room. Calvin looked around in amazement. "We made it! The Elephant Graveyard!"

"But we're in the locker room."

"Whatever! We're here! Wait, I'm confused. This looks the same as before Kevin was king." It was true. There were a few lines of lockers, a bathroom area, some sinks, some showers, and a door to one of the building's gyms...but that was it.

Hobbes wasn't surprised. "What did you expect?"

"Well, there was the skull of danger and the morning report..."

"Rolf and Double D always stretch the truth!"

Calvin peeked into a row of lockers, but saw nothing. The two of them left, disappointed. "So much for scary stuff..."

Edd ran in, frantic, "Calvin! We're using the bathrooms down the hall, not the ones in the locker room!" Edd suddenly realized where he was. "Wait...THE LOCKER ROOM! This is very bad! We better leave right now!"

Calvin looked at Edd like he'd gone crazy. "Okay, okay. I know it's dirty, but there's no reason to be afraid of this place..."

Suddenly, the three of them heard the sound of bathroom stall doors slamming, followed by evil laughter. Someone else was in there! Out from the bathroom walked the Kanker sisters, May, Lee, and Marie.

"K-K-KANKERS!" sputtered Calvin. Girls were bad enough, but bullying kissing girls were worse!

"It's scary for a much worse reason!" Edd managed to say. "Although it IS rather messy in here."

"What do we have here?" asked Lee, cutting off their exit.

Hobbes leaned over to Calvin. "You want to be king!" he whispered. "Start acting brave!"

"I'm the future king!" Calvin announced proudly. This wasn't true, but he hoped it would scare the Kankers away. It didn't work. They only laughed again.

"Do you know what we do to kings who leave their kingdom?" said Marie.

"Well, we're still in the kingdom," explained Edd, trying to talk his way out of things. "You see, Kevin owns this entire area, so..."

"I love it when he talks like that..." swooned Marie.

"LOVE! Oh dear..."

"We've been boyless for a long time!" said May, moving in on them.

"Yeah! We had to settle for Moe!" Lee pointed at Moe, who was tied up, covered in lipstick, and stuffed in a toilet. "I wanna go home," he grumbled.

"Let's make out, girls!" cried Lee. The Kankers walked closer (they sure were taking their time).

"RUN!" screamed Calvin. He turned around to see that Edd and Hobbes had already left, and were disappearing down the hall. "'Soon-to-be-royal cat!'" mimicked Calvin. "ROYAL FLEABAG!" Calvin tried to run out as well, but the Kankers blocked him again.

"Since Double D is gone, we'll have to settle for someone else!" said Lee, suggestively.

Leave me alone, stupid, whiny, trailer trash!" warned Calvin.

(To the tune of "Chow Down")

Lee: He called us trailer trash!

Marie: Said we were whiny!

May: Did I hear stupid?

Calvin: Uh...

Kankers: Tell us again-- gee

You're something that came here

Something we'll enjoy

You may be a brat

But you're a boy!

Lee: It's time to make out

May and Marie: Make out!

All Three: M-m-m-m-m-make out!

"Time for a chase scene," said Calvin, making a run for it. If he could make it there in time, he could escape through the other door to the gym. Kevin would kill him when he found out what Calvin did, but it was better than being with the Kankers. Unfortunately, the door was locked. Calvin looked up to see the Kankers. He was trapped now. "Please, I'm too young! Seriously, I'm only six."

The Kankers skipped to "Chow Down"'s final verse:

Lee: We've got him cornered, and this is the end

Marie: Time for a little time with our good friend

May: Let's face it, kid, escaping is a doubt!

"So come on, Calvin..." smiled Marie.

All Three: Make out!

I was always sort of bugged by how I had to shorten all the Broadway songs, but I seriously doubt that I could stretch a whole song out about how the Kankers like to kiss guys! Hobbes and Edd's quick exit always amused me.