My Heart is for You
The Talk over Coffee
Authored by: Ai No Senshi FC
Misato spent most of the afternoon, and after stopping to have a few beers and a couple cigarettes, continued into the night. The work of cleaning up her apartment – while simple – consumed her mind, and for a moment, she forgot most of which she wished she would if only for a minute or two. While she couldn't exactly get the smell of menthol out of the carpets and furniture immediately, another night of having the cold air blast in through the open windows seemed to lightly freshen the air inside. Nothing went unclean; Misato went as far as to even search through the couch for cigarette butts and plastic pack covers. When she had finished, she felt somewhat accomplished looking over the large piles of bags she had formed next to the fridge lighting up a smoke and cracking open another beer to celebrate. Now to someone who's been through such a swing in mental stability in the last decade, a victory like this – however small – was still a great thing to her. Misato didn't take too long in celebrating, remembering well what Shinji had said the afternoon before, and took to bed earlier than usual.
Somehow on this night she had missed catching four in the morning read on her alarm clock.
Bounding from her bed before even the alarm went off, she didn't want to waste any time in preparing for Shinji to come over. The trash was more or less thrown off the balcony to a dumpster below, a hot bath drawn and taken, dusting off the old cans of makeup that she used to wear and applied – not enough as to look suspicious -, and sweeping the floor. All of this done in an hour, and she wondered where this energy came from. She brushed that though clean out of her mind; who else wouldn't want to wonder why the energy they had in college suddenly came back?
"A job well done." She said to herself, looking at corners of her apartment she had thought were long gone. Feeling like having a beer, she had the can in her hand and the tab under her nail when she stopped, shrugged, and put it back, thinking full well she could have it after Shinji left; coffee really did sound good this morning, and having an open beer out should Shinji pop in at this moment would only make him question more. So she settled on having just a cigarette or two while she waited. Taking time first to find her ashtray and to open the sliding door on the apartment to pull the smoke out, she sat down at the table, lit up and leaned back. Before shaking the ash from her cigarette however, she reached out for a washcloth and wiped the nicotine and ash stains off of the glass until it was sparkling brilliantly like when she had first purchased it.
The doorbell rang. Misato was halfway finished with her cigarette and still had the washcloth in her hand. She quickly folded the cloth as to hide the black stain she put on it with cleaning up the ashtray, sat down the cigarette, and slightly bounced in her stride for the door.
The door slid open to an image of Shinji, standing there on the walkway with a soft breeze kicking up the loose ends of his suit, holding a tray of three cups of coffee steaming from the lid vents with a small smile on his face.
"Good morning Shinji!" Misato beamed, straightening her posture immediately to look the young man in the eyes. "Well good morning yourself, Misato -" Shinji said as Misato moved from the doorway to let Shinji inside, the door clicking shut behind him, " – I see someone's in high spirits this morning."
"Yeah, I guess you could say that –" Misato said, leading him back into the kitchen before sitting down, " – I've done a lot but as you can see I still have a ways to go."
"No, no, it looks like you've got everything back into order – as much as I could ever remember it was in the first place." They shared a laugh as Shinji passed out the cups, two for Misato and one for himself.
"Why did you get me two?" Misato questioned, opening the pour lid on a cup.
"Well, I kind of thought you had hit the bottle again last night…" Shinji said, looking away as he embarrassed himself. " I'm sorry, I assumed you would have."
Misato shrugged it off. "I can see why you think that, these past few years being a testament to it. There's no reason to be sorry when it's fact."
"Are you sure? I mean, I didn't disrespect you any did I?"
"A little, but I deserve it."
"But you don't deserve it." Shinji looked back in time to watch Misato try the coffee; a look of surprise crossed her face as she pulled away from the cup, swallowed and took a few quick open-mouthed breaths. He couldn't help but laugh.
"It's not funny –" Misato said, wiping her mouth with her hand, "- even if I did look a bit ridiculous."
"Yeah I know, just the look you had, it was priceless."
Misato sharpened her eyes a bit as a thought crossed her mind. "You know, I don't remember when you changed exactly…"
"How so?" Shinji questioned, picking up on what might be on her mind.
"Well – oh never mind." Misato shrugged. "I guess I'm getting too old to remember details." She laughed.
Shinji secretly felt relieved. He knew – the only one to know – what thoughts may have crossed her mind. "We're all getting up there, so don't feel too bad about it."
"I never said I did." Misato was finally convinced the coffee was cooled enough, and took a long drink. "So have you picked a specific date for your marriage yet?"
"Asuka and I are thinking about sometime in May or June – we can't really decide yet because she has to go to Germany for NERV-related business sometime here in the future.
"It'll most likely be soon after she gets back." Shinji beamed, as Misato smiled as well – as much as she didn't want to.
"Have you been able to contact Rei yet?" Misato questioned. "I can't remember the last time I saw her, but I'm sure she would like to come."
"No – we still haven't found her." Shinji said. "Wherever she went after the last Angel appeared is apparently where she would like to stay."
"I'll agree with that, Tokyo-3 has lost some of its luster in the past years." Misato finished her cup and opened the second. "I have been thinking about moving, you know."
"Yeah, it must be hard with none of us here anymore to keep you on your toes, especially since Pen Pen died." Shinji cringed; yet another sad memory.
"He wasn't going to be here forever, and he wasn't in the best health anyway. So where he's at right now is for the best."
Shinjis cell phone rang. He put down his cup of coffee and picked it up:
"Good morning father… yes I'm bringing the documents in with me this morning, has Asuka checked in yet?... All right that's good news… yes sir I'll be in shortly… about ten minutes or so I'll be at the security checkpoint, do you want anything else?...okay, yes, goodbye."
Misato waited for the phone to click shut. "How did I miss you get back on your father's good side?"
"I'm still not completely on his good side; we're just on good speaking terms. Not to say we haven't had our few conversations outside of Central, but we're getting better at the whole conversation thing." Shinji quickly finished his coffee and stood up. "I have to be going now, I have some things in my car that I need to get to Father sooner than later."
"All right, I guess I shouldn't keep you then," Although she wanted to, " – When can I expect you again?"
"I'm not sure. I'm taking Asuka to dinner tonight and I'm leaving early tomorrow for China, so maybe in a day or two I'll come by once more." Shinji said, as he started for the door.
"Okay then, have a safe trip and give my best to everyone."
"I will, have a great day." With that, Shinji walked down the hall and exited Misato's apartment.
There was one thing she couldn't get off her mind though, and thinking about it more reminded her she never did resolve it. Just, something about ten years ago that still doesn't add up. She lit a cigarette and pondered over it until the last of her coffee was gone.