Hazard 13: Hello and welcome to the land of stupid people.

Hoboslayer: like you!

Nite Joe: just you Hoboslayer.

Hazard 13: Seriously, who names themselves Hoboslayer?

Nite Joe: I don't get it.

Hoboslayer: why not? I used to be Hoboman, Hoboslayer sounds better.

Hazard 13: Yeah I guess. Your file in my Animal Crossing game is still Hoboman you know. It's really weird, your house is filled with fruit.

Nite Joe: Well YOURS is full of gyroids!

Hazard 13: Maybe we shouldn't talk about this… I mean almost none of the readers probably even play Animal Crossing anyway.

Nite Joe: Heh-heh activate, target immobilized…

(Voice from nowhere): Nuclear launch detected…

Hoboslayer: huh? I don't get it .

Nite Joe: death will be lenient on me. You shall be hell's first visitor.

Hoboslayer: Ohhhh… Crap. At least you'll go with me.

Hazard 13: well, you guys won't die. You'll be gone for about until late next chapter, huh. Expert Guard! (Shield appears) Heh-heh. I'm the author. I can stop anything, even a nuclear strike. Shields, Overshields, shell, and let's see, protect. That should do it. See ya guys.

Nite Joe: Join me in hell.

Hoboslayer: Oh crap.

Hazard 13: Hee hee hee. This should be kinda cool.

(Incredibly big explosion)

Hazard 13: huh, I think they kind of went into the atmosphere… I am so bored.

Some guy: I'll relieve you of your money.

Hazard 13: Huh. They let ANYONE in here.

Some guy: Just kidding. I am going to kill you now. My name is Mr. ?.

Hazard 13: hmm…interesting.

Mr. : yeah I guess it is interesting. Anyway, prepare to die. (readies energy ball) DEATH!

Hazard 13: I'm the author, and I am not afraid of death. (hits him and does nothing) This proves it, huh?

Mr. : I guess so.

Hazard 13: Anyway, I need to do the disclaimer, so Disclaimer: I don't own FFTA, and if you think I do, then you are incredibly stupid.

Chapter 6: new clan member

"What was that?"

"I think it was someone in the pub. Let's go see."

Ezel, Hoboslayer, Nite Joe, and myself went into the pub and we saw a small person, a boy, on the counter. He looked familiar to me, and as I was about to ask him a question, but it seemed that he was talking to the bartender.

"Get me a whiskey, dit!"

"But you're not of legal age!"

"I'm old enough. Here's some money."

"That's not enough, you gave me half the gil than it costs…"

"Well, maybe if you gave it to me, then I would give you what you want." He held out his hand.

"But I can't give alcohol to children! It would be un…ethi…" he stopped as the boy took two katanas off of his back. The boy turned around and threw a small knife at Hoboslayer. It hit his shoulder, and bounced off his armor and hit the floor. I knew instantly who it was as he looked at us.

" So Stuey, how did you get here?"

"You…you're Wes."

"Na. Hazard 13 now…"

"That's your screen name, huh… Anyway, call me Sred02, alright?"

"Sure." He replied.

Hoboslayer and Nite Joe were both looking at him, because when we had moved to St. Ivalice, we had lost contact with him. He had been a great friend to all of us, but he was a bit closer to Nite Joe than Hoboslayer and me.

"Alex, where the hell did you go, you idiot! You agreed to give me your address!"

"I'm Nite Joe now. Sorry, but I had just got into town, and our cell phones didn't work, and they don't even have phones!"

"It's true. I came there and we had to get an internet connecter from Nite Joe, who paid the phone company of the next town to get a connection. St. Ivalice is really weird, I don't really understand it much." Said Hoboslayer.

"Tim. You too. There's this thing called email, you know."

"I'm Hoboslayer." Sred02 started laughing at his outrageous name.

"That's just sad, man. Whatever. So who're you?" he asked Ezel.

"My name is Ezel the genius. I make…" he paused. "antilaw cards." He continued after looking around. He had seen that the bar was empty, courtesy of Sred02's attacking of the bartender.

"Oh, yeah! You only have two moves, and a weird hat." He apparently remembered Nite Joe's game from a couple months ago.

"I thought that you did not know who I was?" Ezel was practically thinking out loud.

"Does it matter? I played this game, and you were in it. You are very weak, and I mean REALLY weak." He finished. Ezel looked at him for a second, and I could see that he was visibly angry. Suddenly, he took his staff out and looked at it. Sred02 took his two katanas off his back and pointed them at Ezel. Ezel told him:

"You are smaller than I am, even though you have two swords, I know more about what you can do than you yourself know." With that, he struck out with his staff and knocked the two katanas to the floor.

"Hey, how did you do that?"

"There are many things you have to learn." He replied cryptically. Then, he went over to the bar and grabbed a shot of whiskey. He downed it and said in a tired voice:

"God, I haven't done that in thirteen years. Thank god that human taught me some things."

At this point, everyone was looking at him, and I voiced one question I had been wondering for a while.

"Ezel, how old are you?"

He didn't answer right away, but when he did answer, I wasn't surprised at all.

"I will not tell anyone. Ever. I have seen many years during my life."

Again, with the cryptic answers. Why do I even ask him ask questions? It is interesting to talk with him though. There was a matter that I wanted to ask about Sred02, but before I could, Hoboslayer started turning red and twitching a little. I considered hitting him with stopshot, but I really had no idea what was going on with him. Finally Nite Joe asked: "Does Hoboslayer seem a little…" he trailed off. "Red?" I finished, at the same time as Sred02 said "Crazy?", and Ezel said: "about to explode?" Nite Joe, Sred02, and I all looked at him with questioning glances.

"Well, to the best of my knowledge, it seems that he can definitely use bangaa abilities, and unfortunately, this one looks like Meltdown…I think we should leave quickly." However, before any of us could move, the bartender, who had been hiding under the bar, got up and yelled: "NOOOO! NOT IN MY BAR! HE IS NOT GOING TO EXPLODE IN MY BAR! GET HIM OUT OR I WILL CALL THE JUDGES! NOW!" In my view, he looked angry. This was not a good sign. I told Ezel:

"Ezel, if you'll do the honors?"

"Heh. Sure." He calmly recited his favorite (and most useful) spell, and unfortunately, it missed. He swore.

"Now what should we do?" I asked no-one in particular.

"Stopshot, aim:legs, aim:arms, and a sleep or sheep count would work pretty well."

I heard a voice to my left, at the door, say. I looked up, and I saw it was a fencer.

Hazard 13: Well, that should end this strange chapter.

Mr. : you seem to be fond of what do you call them? Cliffhangers?

Hazard 13: yeah.

Mr. : why is that?

Hazard 13: I don't know. Because they are the easiest to do.

Mr. : I see.

Hazard 13: Anyway, I would like to say thank you to Mako-Streak, Piemasher 86(what kind of name is that?), Hoboslayer, Nite Joe, myself, and dude-the only one who does reviews. Especially the last guy I just mentioned. By the way, thank you for defending me against the stupid idiot "I hate u". God, I have seen flames before, but no-one stupider than that. I mean seriously, "Loserish?" (rolls eyes) whatever.

Mr. : It looks like your friends are coming back from their trip to the atmosphere.

Hoboslayer: Owww……God that hurt. Where's Nite Joe?

Nite Joe: You can't see me?

Hoboslayer: How did you cloak?

Nite Joe: ha ha ha ha ha. The devil himself taught me.

Hoboslayer: whatever. I think I'm gonna just…just…sleep…

Nite Joe: You are weak.

Hoboslayer: Shut your mom.

Hazard 13: What does that even mean?

Hoboslayer: I dunno, but I like to say it a lot.

Hazard 13: Thanks for reading. Review. Now. Ha ha ha ha ha.