Disclaimer: I do not own yugioh.
A/N: YAH! This is a Jounouchi/Mai story-- my first. The title is part of a quote that comes from "The Glass Menagerie", and then each chapter title comes from the song "Joey" by Concrete Blonde. I'm a little nervous about my portrayal of Mai, so any constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. This takes place between "Lifestyles..." and "In Case of Emergency". There's very, very little Seto/Anzu though, so if you don't like that pairing you won't be enduring much. That said, read and enjoy everyone!
-Chapter One: If You're Hurting, So Am I
Jounouchi held the slim piece of paper in his hands, a frown marring his usually good-natured face. He crumpled it in his fist angrily and threw it down to the floor. "I'm not going."
Yugi and Honda exchanged worried looks. They had been afraid of that reaction; Jounouchi had a sore spot when it came to that particular woman. He had loved her once, long ago, and for some reason or another had been hurt deeply by what had passed between the two. He'd close up whenever the subject was broached, and both Yugi and Honda knew that he had loved her so much that whatever wound there was might never heal.
And though his friends didn't know it, he loved her still.
"I don't see why it's any of our business anyway," Jounouchi continued, starting to pace restlessly. "We're not even really that close to her, so why the hell should we be concerned with her stupid affairs?"
"You don't have to go, of course," Yugi said kindly, understanding well his friend's distress. "But... Well, it would be polite to go, wouldn't it?"
"It's totally up to you, actually," Honda said, "But if you really don't have any feelings for her anymore, I think that you should go. It might not be our business, and we might not be too close to her, but we're some of the only friends she has." He shrugged. "I told Shizuka that I'd give her a ride– so she's going– and I know Anzu's going, too." He looked at Yugi.
The other young man nodded. "I'm sorry if it upsets you, Jounouchi," he said, "but if she cared enough to invite us, then I think that we should do her the honor of attending. It won't be so bad, right?"
Jounouchi shook his head and muttered sarcastically, "Right. It's just her engagement party. Hell, it won't be bad at all."
"Turn that frown upside down, little buddy," Honda said, straightening up from his place on the couch. He clapped Jounouchi on the back. "You'll be fine; there's all the chance in the world that it won't last more than about two hours anyway. And after the initial congratulations– which can, of course, be given in a group as opposed to individually– all you have to do is mingle; you don't even have to talk to her. Besides– you're over her, right? I thought you said that you had forgotten all about the lovely Mai."
"Maybe, and I am over her," Jounouchi said at last, conceding to his friends' persuasive efforts. "Maybe. If I don't have anything else to do, I guess I can make an appearance."
He sighed to himself. He didn't trust himself around her. After not seeing her for so long, he had no idea what his reaction would be. She would be beautiful of course, and her fiancé would be handsome, debonair, and dashing, and Jounouchi would feel like a fool– an ignorant, uncultured fool– and realize once again that Mai deserved so much more than he could ever give her.
"I have to go," he told the others, glancing at his watch. "Work starts soon and I don't want to be late. I'll talk to you later." The other two waved, and with a quick flash of a smile, Jounouchi headed off.
The guests were arriving. Mai sighed and stared out at the milling crowd of people. The place was decorated beautifully; it was simple, with soft light and creamy, white finery, but it was perfectly elegant. Gabe– the wealthy, handsome man she was marrying– had had it arranged for her; he could afford just about everything in the world, and never hesitated to give it to her. But it felt so superficial. Mai hadn't even wanted something extravagant. It made her embarrassed as hell to be around all those people she barely even knew wishing her "good luck" and "congratulations".
She smoothed out imaginary wrinkles from her skirt for the third time that night, and tossed her thick blonde hair over her shoulder. Just because she actually was nervous didn't mean she had to look it. She put on a big, fake smile, and headed over to the nearest group of well-wishers, ready to flaunt the huge rock on her left hand.
They all ooh-ed and ahh-ed over it, and after engaging in a frivolous conversation for about five minutes, she was more than relieved when her fiancé pulled her away.
She had met Gabe Valentine a year previously, on a duelists' cruise where she was once again playing tables. He had been attentive and generous, and after one evening inordinately flirtatious. There hadn't been too much interest (apart from the initial, superficial attraction to his wealth and rather boyish good looks) on her part, but after a late-night liaison in his first-class cabin, her opinion drastically changed. He was an incredible lover, and slowly they started an on-again off-again relationship. Mai didn't love him; she didn't delude herself or Gabe into thinking that she did. She wasn't the firmest believer in love in the first place, and all she really wanted was security. He gave her that; and even if she didn't love him, he was a good man. If she had him, she would never have to worry about being... lonely.
Gabe gently directed her to a table, chivalrously pulled out a chair for her. "Are you alright Mai?" he asked kindly, almost laughing at her dazed expression. "You look a little... lost. Having a good time?"
She shook her head. "Not particularly, but I think that I'll manage. It won't last long, right?"
He nodded and kissed her hair. "Of course, sweetness. Would you like a glass of champagne?" She nodded absently, and soon said glass was thrust into her hand. "I have to mingle, so I'm afraid can't just stay here with you." He straightened up, and adjusted his dark brown blazer. "Do try and enjoy yourself a little, alright?"
He gave her a comforting pat on the shoulder, and then caught an old friend's eye, and walked over with a wave.
She sighed, and looked around, trying to find someone to entertain her. But when she saw who had just walked in the door, her eyes went wide. It seemed that the night had just gotten worse.
In almost every woman's life, there is always that man. That man– the man that is meant whenever there is talk about men. Mai knew him, it was her him, the only man (though he had been just a boy) who had ever really meant anything at all. Of course, it wasn't love; no, the strange semi-relationship they had indulged in for mere moments (it seemed) certainly hadn't been close to that oh-so-foreign emotion.
She briefly wondered why he was there. Obviously, whatever feelings he may have had hadn't lasted. He looked perfectly unaffected, if perhaps a bit sulky. She had only invited him to keep her own unsettled heart under wraps. If she had invited Yugi, Honda and Anzu (which she had), then it would have looked exceedingly peculiar if she had not invited the fourth of their little group. Mai never liked showing how she truly felt. It was simple for her to hide it; she was normally open enough that no one ever got suspicious– she seemed, outwardly at least, to be perfectly sincere in her emotions. No one needed to know– and no one ever would know– that her only him, her secret, secret, silly school-girl crush, had politely accepted his invitation to her engagement party, and was looking over the buffet table with the air of a connoisseur.
'Damn it,' she thought to herself, seeing Gabe walking up to her out of the corner of her eye, 'He had to be here now.'
Jounouchi sauntered in, trying to look confident and brave. He didn't know how well he pulled it off, and he was too nervous to really care. Yugi and Honda were off somewhere mingling, and Anzu was chatting with a group of mousy-looking females (a group he didn't dare disturb). As long as he didn't run into Mai, he'd be fine. He could handle it; he was plenty tough.
He immediately made for a long table of food– there he would find welcome salvation from the nauseating pleasantries that seemed to be an integral part of any gathering. He waved away an offer of champagne, and then proceeded to look unhappy enough to prevent any friendly overtures (with glare á la Kaiba). After fifteen minutes, he was bored. After another five minutes, he was ready to accept the whole bottle of champagne. Grumbling to himself, he went on a search for Honda.
If he was going to be miserable, then someone else was going to be miserable, too.
Gabe shook hands with another random guest, before that person, too, wandered off. He glanced sideways at Mai. "Quit smiling, honey, or they might start to think you're having a good time."
She pinched his leg under the table, her big, fake smile plastered on her face. "Shut up Gabe, and just smile."
"You're acting strange," he said curiously, "is everything Ok?"
"Of course it is. I'm fine. I'm absolutely wonderful."
"Oh look," he said, "that boy's waving at us. Do you know him?"
Mai glanced over to where Gabe was pointing. Her breath caught; she knew him alright. "Yeah, that's... Well, he never dueled but he hung out around a lot of the really big guys who did."
"Oh. Well... Who is he?" Gabe asked.
"His name's Hiroto Honda– he was one of Yugi Mutou's groupies."
Gabe looked impressed. "Really? Wow. You'll have to introduce me when he gets over here."
Honda walked up with a grin. "Hey Mai, and congratulations on the engagement." He looked Gabe over. "This the guy?"
"Yeah." Mai shrugged. "This is him."
"Don't sound too excited," Gabe muttered.
Honda reached out and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you, Gabe, ahh... Whatever your name is. I'm–"
"Honda, yes, Mai told me."
"Ahh! A celebrity already!" Honda grinned again. To Mai he said, "I don't know where Jounouchi is– he came with Yugi and me and I know he's simply dying to say hello." Honda turned and began to scan the room.
"N-no," Mai said, starting to stand, "That's really not necess–"
Suddenly, Honda stuck his arm up. "Hey! Jounouchi! Over here!"
Mai plopped back down with a sigh. There would be no avoiding it, then. She waited, her anxiety only growing, as the young blond duelist plodded slowly across the room. Honda and Gabe exchanged a sentence or so, but she paid little attention. She didn't care about them, not then, not then– not when the only man she had... Not when he was walking towards her.
Jounouchi was grumbling audibly when he reached them. "Hey now," Honda chided, "we mustn't be rude. Say hello to Mai and her dear new fiancé. This is Gabe Valentine. Mr. Valentine, my closest friend– Katsuya Jounouchi."
Gabe stuck out a friendly hand. "Pleasure to meet you. Heard of you, of course; most people have."
Jounouchi stared at the outstretched hand, not at all eager to take it. However, he couldn't just stand there forever, so reluctantly he shook the other man's hand. "Yeah. Great to meet you."
He glanced over at Mai then, but she wouldn't meet his eye.
Honda put an arm around Jounouchi's shoulders. "Well, we've offered our congratulations, so now is the time for our triumphant return to the festivities. Onward!" He led Jounouchi away, laughing with every step.
Jounouchi finally caught Mai's gaze. She almost gasped at the intensity in his eyes. He held her own until a crowd passed between them. She put a hand to her chest, annoyed– but unsurprised– to find that her heart was beating faster.
It wasn't hard to find an excuse to wander around. Gabe, the ever-social high-society boy he was, was more than happy to engage a crowd in the retelling of some famously fabulous adventure he had once had. Mai made her way through the separate crowds, never lingering too long. If she could just find him... His appearance had awoken things she had been sure were buried. She had thought– had always thought– that he viewed her as nothing more than an old acquaintance. Almost– and she winced as she thought it– as a big sister. She had never imagined that he would look at her that way, that he would make her feel that way. She just had to talk to him. Just a brief chat and then he'd be out of her mind forever.
It wouldn't come to anything, of course. But she was going to be married, after all– she knew she deserved one last fling before she was off the market for good.
Suddenly, though, a warm, friendly voice assaulted her. "Mai! Oh Mai, hello!" She turned and saw Shizuka, Jounouchi's sweet, docile younger sister.
"Hey sweetie," Mai said with a smile. "Glad you could make it."
Shizuka beamed. "Of course I made it!" She gave Mai a gentle, friendly hug. "You're like a big sister to me, Mai– I wouldn't dream of missing your engagement party! And Gabe-san seems like such a nice man. You're very lucky."
"Yeah," Mai said, looking away. "Lucky." She managed to keep from letting a rather regretful sigh escape, and instead scraped up a quick, easy smile. "He is great: handsome, funny, a... huge bank account..."
Shizuka giggled. "And I'm sure that everyday the affection grows."
Mai pretended to be affronted by the sarcastic implication. "Why, of course!"
Shizuka giggled again. "I'm sure you'll be happy, Mai." She clasped the older woman's hands in her own. "If anyone deserves to be happy it's you."
"Well thanks, hun, though I can't say how true I believe that to be." She smiled at Shizuka, and with a quick wave, started off. "I'll catch up with you later; call me anytime, Ok?"
She was already too far away to hear Shizuka's quiet reply. If she could just find him... She was filled with an unstoppable need, and before the party ended she had to at least find him.
"Mai," a cold voice said, stopping her in her tracks. "Guess you found me."
She whirled around, already certain her face was the picture of composure. "Why Jounouchi... I'm surprised to see you stayed."
They were away from the rest of the party-goers, almost completely alone. And certainly alone enough so that their conversation wouldn't be overheard.
Mai tried to flash him a playful grin. "It's been–"
"Awhile, yeah." Jounouchi crossed his arms and looked away.
"So how're you–"
"I'm fine. Doin' pretty well."
"Oh. Well good." She glanced around, fishing desperately for something to say. "I heard that–"
"Why are you marrying him, Mai?" he asked suddenly. "Do you love him?"
She bit her lip, unable to answer.
He scoffed bitterly. "That's what I thought."
"Jounouchi, I–"
"No!" he snapped, "I don't want another empty apology. You can save it for the next guy dumb enough to fall for you."
"What? Look, you ass, you have no right to be saying this to me, and I have nothing I should apologize for. We decided that there wasn't anything between us. Don't try to make me feel guilty about that now. You never loved me, and I never loved you."
"We decided, Mai? No– you decided. I wanted more than anything to give us a real chance, but I was too young, you were too scared, and you weren't willing to work for the relationship! How the hell was that my fault at all? You didn't even ask me what I wanted; you didn't even care!"
"Don't tell me what I did or didn't do," she snapped back. "And you didn't give any sign that you were interested. I was confused! You were stubborn and difficult and... I didn't need any more baggage. Can you blame me for not wanting to take another risk?"
"Blame you?" he repeated sarcastically, "Oh no, Mai, I wouldn't dare."
"Look, I had no idea you'd feel this strongly about the situation. I had no idea you felt this strongly for... me. I thought you were just infatuated: looking for something new, something exciting, something different; I didn't think it could last!"
"Well, Mai, I did care. I do care."
"Katsuya, I..." He looked away, his jaw clenched.
Gently, Mai grabbed his elbow. "Hey. Why don't we get out of here? I'm bored, and I know you're bored– so let's run off, and have another adventure."
"What! Mai, this is your engagement party– you can't just leave, the whole thing's about you! You're like the star."
She took his hand and smiled wickedly. "Of course I can leave; you underestimate me, my young friend. I'll call someone and let them know I'm gone after we get far enough away. Come on; don't tell me you're scared, big boy."
"What about Gabe?" The name was like poison on his tongue.
She hesitated for a moment. "We have the rest of our lives to spend together– I'm sure he can spare me for one night."
He sighed, and with a playful wink Mai led them through the crowd and surreptitiously out the door. Everything was blurring together, and he hardly knew where they were going. The only thing he was conscious of was the warm, soft heat of her hand in his.
There comes a time in every man's life when all he wants to do is curl up and cry like a little baby. For Jounouchi, that moment had finally come. He had what had to be the worst hangover in the entire recorded history of humanity. And it HURT. How much had he had to drink– the entire bar? He remembered going out with Yugi and the rest of his friends to that stupid engagement party. He remembered talking to Mai there, then leaving and then buying her a drink... Mai wasn't a very happy drunk; she started crying and he bought himself a drink... Then he had gone back home. Well, he had definitely learned his lesson. He could barely think, and the light flooding in through the blue curtains only made it worse.
He flopped over, ready to try to get back to sleep. But just as his eyes closed, he noticed something odd. His patched, oversized comforter that had been with him for years was slowly sliding off his body. As far as he knew, inanimate objects did not move on their own. They never had. They never would. So why, then, was his warm, cuddly blanket crawling away from him?
His answer came swiftly as a warm body rolled towards him and a strong pair of legs kicked him off the bed. He floundered on the floor for a moment, still disoriented from sleep. He pulled himself up to the edge of the bed, his forearms resting on the mattress.
He grunted, wondering who he had woken up next to. He poked her. "Hey. Who the hell are–" His eyes went wide.
The woman blinked open heavy eyes. Beautiful eyes– eyes he had been dreaming about for years. With thick, wavy blonde hair... With an unmistakable face...
Jounouchi fell back on his ass and scooted away from the bed. "Oh damn... This isn't good... Oh my God, what am I gonna do? What did I do?"
Mai yawned and sat up, finally awake.
The thin sheet fell off her body, and with wide eyes Jounouchi threw a shirt he had picked up off the floor at her. He cleared his throat to get her attention, too embarrassed to look her in the eye. "G'morning," he mumbled lowly, voice gruff with sleep and awkward uncertainty.
Mai stretched and yawned widely. "Good morning."
She chuckled a little at Jounouchi's red, red face. She pulled on the shirt he had thrown her and got off the bed. Hastily, he pulled off a sheet and clumsily wrapped it around his waist. He cleared his throat. "I–"
"I slept great; bet you did, too."
"Actually, wh–"
"We'll figure it out later. You worry too much."
"Bu–"
"I'm borrowing your toothbrush."
And with a confident swagger– even for the early hour, not to mention the fact that she had to be feeling as wretched as he was– she walked into the bathroom and shut the door.
Jounouchi blinked, rather surprised. How could she be so calm about everything? He scratched his head, then shook it in utter confusion. He yawned, and realized that he was still tired. He glanced at the clock on his nightstand. Blushing slightly at the bra– which he was fairly sure did not belong to him– that had made its way there, he tried to make out the time. Only about 9:40. He didn't have to work that day– he wouldn't have gone in even if he did have to– so there was still plenty of time for sleep.
Pushing Mai momentarily out of his mind, he stretched himself back out on the bed. Surely things would just... work themselves out. With a contented sort of grunt, he settled down into a more peaceful state of mind. Seconds later he was snoring.
Mai was anything but calm. As soon as the door had shut, she collapsed against it, sliding down to the floor. She put her head in her hands and squeezed her eyes shut.
"This isn't happening," she whispered to herself. "I couldn't have done this– not now, not to Gabe." She took a deep breath. "I just have to stay collected."
She looked around, trying to distract herself, and was grateful to see her purse lying on the countertop by the sink. She grabbed the strap, and pulled it down into her lap. Digging through it, she pulled out a cell phone. "Good," she muttered, "now maybe I can start setting things right."
But she didn't know who she could call. She didn't have any really close friends, and the people she was close to could never find out where she was and why she was there.
'I could call Shizuka,' she thought, 'but I'm not about to tell her that her beloved big brother was the second party involved in my little affair.' She sighed, and put her forehead in her palm. 'What the hell am I going to do?'
"Come on girl, calm down. You can't let them see you sweat." She sighed again. "Shizuka it is then– and she'll forgive me for lying, I'm sure."
She quickly dialed a number, and after a few rings a cheerful voice answered. "Hello?"
"Hey hun, it's Mai."
"Mai!" The voice sounded surprised. "What happened last night? You disappeared, and had all of us worried. Especially that nice fiancé of yours. He must have interrogated us all at least three separate times!"
"I'm sorry I worried you, but..." Mai sighed. "Shizuka, sweetie, I need a favor."
"What, Mai? I'd be happy to help you out if I can."
"If... If anyone asks, can you tell them that I got a little wasted and showed up at your place last night? Just say it was... pre-pre-wedding jitters."
"Well..." She sounded hesitant. "Alright Mai, but I don't like lying. What really happened to you? You're alright, aren't you?"
Mai laughed. "Yes, I'm fine. And I'll tell you later, but... It's not a great time right not. Maybe we can get together for lunch in a day or so. I'm sorry, but I really did you to do this for me."
Shizuka sighed. "Alright Mai. If you really think it's best not to tell me, then I won't press the issue. And as long as you're safe..." She sighed again. "I'll talk to you later, then, Ok?"
"Thanks Shizuka; I really mean it."
"You're welcome. Goodbye, Mai."
"Bye."
Mai hung up the phone, and stuffed it back in her bag. She reluctantly stood, and put a hesitant hand on the door. "Well. Here goes nothing."
She was surprised– but only barely– to see Jounouchi sprawled out asleep again. He looked so adorable, his eyes closed and his mouth open, ruffling the hem of a pillow with every breath. The sheet he had used as a quick cover-up had twisted up around his legs, falling down to just below the jut of his hipbone. He was so thin. Even from across the room she could see the faint outline of his ribcage on his chest.
"Stop it," she reprimanded. "This is no time to be ogling the little idiot. I've got to get home."
She gathered up her stuff and quickly got dressed. She sighed and looked around. It was so homey– it looked lived in and real. Gabe's apartment looked like it jumped off a page from a home decorating magazine. It was pristine, untouched– gorgeous, of course, but it didn't feel like a home.
Jounouchi had faded blue window curtains, stuff of indiscernible origin piled everywhere, and bowls with the remains of what once must have been food in the strangest places.
She almost smiled.
Picking up a piece of paper off the floor, she scribbled down her number, just in case he wanted to talk. They'd have to soon, she knew, but letting him come to her on his own terms seemed like it would be the best bet.
With one last look at him, she walked briskly out the door.
End A/N: That's all of chapter one. Originally, the fic was supposed to be only three chapters, but there's so much that I wanted in there I'm afraid I might have to make it longer. I have most of it planned out, so all I have to do is finish writing and edit it. If you read the whole thing, please take the time to review; I really want to make this story the best it can be, and any advice or concrit would be SO helpful to me. Thank you! I tried to make everything clear, but if anyone has any questions I'd be happy to answer them. Til chapter two!
ILB