A/N: Hey guys, I'm almost done Chapter 11, don't worry! In the meantime, I thought I'd give you guys a little treat. This is just a short, really sweet little six-page chapter that I wrote today. It's the V3D Christmas Special, and it's my Christmas present to all of you guys! Hope you enjoy and think it's so SWEET like I did!
Dedicated to Concrete Angel for reminding me that I had to write this. Without her this chapter probably wouldn't be here!
Visser Three's Diary
Christmas Special
Dear Diary,
This morning, I found a disgusting piece of white conserve paper rotting on the floor of the storage room in the middle of the Empire ship, on the corner of Anger Management, and three doors down from Mr. Loud-And-Nasal's science lab… You know the place.
And as soon as I lay eyes on the rotting piece of paper, a thought came to mind… I smiled.For some reason, I remembered a time like no other time… an experience I'd never forget.
It happened a long, long time ago (last year), in what you humans call "the month of December". Here, we call it "late Bonifide". Plain and simple.
It was, in your months, December 24th. Iniss had been jumping up and down the entire day, and I simply could NOT figure out why! I thought I had carefully hidden that stupid oatmeal from the dapsen. In any case, I decided to put up with it since I had loads of paperwork to fill out and I simply could not afford to argue with such a brainless creep today.
… But when he leaped up and clasped my shoulders from behind, sending me running into the bathroom in fright, I found I simply could not take it anymore.
( Iniss, ) I said as calmly as possible. ( WHAT is wrong with you? )
Immediately, Iniss had a radiant smile plastered all over his face.
( Oh no… ) I backed away slowly. ( Okay, I'm sorry I asked! I don't want to know, really! )
But Iniss wasn't hearing any of it. " It's CHRISTMAS, Visser!" he practically shrieked. " Tomorrow! It's Christmas tomorrow!"
I just looked at him stupidly. ( It's wha -- )
Before I could even finish my sentence, the doorbell rang.
- Ding dong! … Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding –
My eye twitched at the incredible annoyance I was experiencing. Why was it always me? I just needed a new life. Really, I did.
I pointed an accusing finger at Iniss. ( You and your Crisped Mist better stay put until I get back! )
Iniss looked questioningly at me as I walked away toward the irritating door. Once I arrived, I yanked it open and found myself standing in front of a bunch of low-ranks in red robes holding green booklets.
( WHAT in the UNIVERSE do you -- ) I started angrily.
" We wish you a merry Christmas! We wish you a merry Christmas! We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new --"
( YAAAAAAH! ) I slammed the door and ran away like the Chickens from the infernal SINGING.
Iniss ran up to me in a retarded manner. So much for him staying put.
" Viisser!" he said joyfully. " Are you okaay?"
( Yes. ) I rolled my eyes. ( Are you? )
Well, Iniss had basically no answer to that. I owe myself twenty Yeerk coins.
( I'm going to bed. ) I said glumly.
Iniss's smile disappeared and was replaced by intense despair. He followed me as I dragged my depressed self toward my room. And my paperwork wasn't even done! How horrible could this day get?
" No! Visser come back! It's Christmas Visser! You can't leave Visser it's Christmas Eve! Visser!" he started bawling. " VIHIHIHISSER!"
I spun around and smacked Iniss dryly in the face.
( Get a hold of yourself Yeerk! ) I yelled.
Then, I turned around and started off again toward my room, leaving Iniss to cry his eyes out behind me.
When I got to my room, I shut the door behind me and twirled as well as an Andalite could before falling onto my bed.
( Ahh… finally. I'm rid of all those annoying people… )
I smiled, though somehow I didn't feel any better. And unfortunately for me, I wasn't there two minutes before I heard that dreaded sound again…
- Ding dong! Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding –
I frowned.
( You have GOT to be kidding me, ) I groaned.
Feeling like the most disgusting piece of green Hork-Bajir shit there ever was, I reluctantly got up from my beautiful BED and dragged myself along the way to open the door.
- Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong…
( I'm COMING! ) I shrieked.
I finally got to the source of the droning infernal sound and opened the god damn door. There were that CURSED bunch of LOW-RANKS again!
" I'm wishing for a white… CHRISTMAS! Like all the ones I used to know! There were --"
( GO AWAY! ) I shrieked.
And then, feeling like my head just may explode any second, I pushed past all the fricking low-ranks and walked the extra two steps to the next room. I pressed the doorbell and banged on the door until finally, someone answered.
" WHAT. DO. YOU…" she yelled angrily. Then, she seemed to notice me for the very first time and calmed down. " Oh, Visser Three, it's only you. I thought it was those damned carolers again. … What do YOU want?"
I sighed. Typical Visser One.
( I want to know WHAT THE HELL is UP with this whole CHRISTMAS thing! ) I yelled. ( It's driving me insane! )
" … As if you weren't already insane," Visser One clarified.
( Right. Whatever. ) I allowed, slightly offended. ( I'm having ENOUGH of a bad day without 'ding dong ding dong ding dong' 'What!' 'I'm wishing for a white… CHRISTMAS!' )
" You don't know what Christmas is, Visser Three?" asked Visser One, raising an eyebrow.
( No. )
" Oh yeah!" she laughed. " I forgot you were stupid when it came to humans!"
She looked at me, and I guess that when she saw the expression on my face… well, maybe you could say she had a change of heart?
" Alright, alright, come in," she said. " I'll explain it to you."
I walked into the room. When I got in, I was surprised to find a small Earth tree standing in the corner, with shiny red balls on it. Curious, I couldn't help but ask what was the meaning of this.
( What's this? ) I asked, pointing at the strange tree.
Visser One smirked at me. " It's a Christmas tree."
She didn't say any more, but started humming a little tune. It wasn't so bad in the silence. Not off key, and far better than screaming "carolers", as she herself had called them.
Feeling she needed a little prodding, I continued…
( And… What exactly is this 'Christmas' all about? )
Visser One stopped and looked at the tree almost kindly.
She shrugged and let out a laugh. " It's stupid really. People stuff huge trees into their houses and decorate them with lights and fluffy colored string, and children leave cookies and milk on a table in order to feed an extremely old man who drives a sleigh guided by flying animals which sort of resemble four-legged Hork-Bajir without the blades. The ambition of this man is to deliver Christmas presents to all the children on the planet, in the space of a mere twelve hours! Which, of course, is scientifically impossible."
( Of course. ) I said.
Visser One turned her back to me for a moment. I didn't quite understand why, but in any case I let it be.
( When you were on Earth, ) I said. ( Was there Christmas there? )
" Yes." she said simply.
( Was it special to you? )
" I suppose it was nice to live carefree for one day," she said, looking at the tree again.
I paused and looked at the tree as well. It was kind of nice, glittering in the soft light in Visser One's room. But still, one question burned in my mind.
( Why, though? ) I asked. ( Why is it that the humans celebrate this holiday? )
She stayed silent for a moment. I guess she may not have known the answer herself, even as human expert. But just when I thought she wasn't going to answer, she turned around and said:
" It's a source of hope for them, I guess. No matter how bad your life is, Christmas is the one day where nothing can go wrong. Foolish, really, to believe such a thing. But they seem to think that this time of year is magical, and that you can find happiness even in the most sorrowful times."
She seemed deep in thought for a moment, but before I even had time to think much of it, she laughed and smirked at me.
" Well, Visser, now you know what Christmas is. Doesn't stop those carolers from being intensely annoying."
She rolled her eyes. So did I.
( You think THAT's bad? ) I exclaimed. ( You should see Iniss! He keeps yelling at me to be happy because it's Christmas! The dweeb wouldn't let me go to bed! )
" Iniss is annoying, isn't he?" Visser One miraculously agreed with me.
( Yes he is. )
" Now, you should really be going to bed…" Visser One said.
( Are you JOKING? ) I yelled. ( I'm not going back there! Iniss is going to Christmasify me! )
" Visser Three?"
( What? )
" Get out of my room."
( Ohh FINE. ) I said angrily.
I marched out of Visser One's room and slid the door closed behind me. I looked down the hall up to and beyond my room, and – thank the lords – noticed that the fricking carolers were gone. I stomped to my room and punched in my key code, letting my own door slide open.
I walked in, and saw Iniss sitting on the couch. He looked at me hopefully, wondering if maybe I would accept his enthusiasm for Christmas.
But then, something snapped inside me. As I heard the door slide closed behind my back, I suddenly burst out laughing like an Andalite bandit.
( Haa haa… HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHA! ) I laughed.
" Um… Visser?" Iniss got up off his seat and cautiously walked toward me. " Are… are you okay?"
( HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHA! … Yes I'm fine Iniss, AHAHAHAHA! )
I simply could not stop laughing! I somehow managed to choke out "I'm going to bed" to Iniss, whose saddened expression didn't phase me at all. I laughed my head off at every possible thing all the way to my room, where as soon as I closed the door, I happily walked to the desk and took a hoof of my waterbowl.
I laid down on my bed at last, feeling instantly relaxed. I felt like smiling. Why? I don't know. I guess sometimes when you think nothing could ever be worse, you can find happiness in the strangest places.
Apparently, that's what "Christmas" is all about. Being happy even when nothing can go right.
And well, I have to admit that once a year, that isn't such a bad idea…
" Visser Three?" I heard Visser One's voice from next door.
( What, Visser One? ) I asked, annoyed yet happy.
" … Have a horrible Christmas tomorrow."
I smiled. ( I wish you a worse Christmas than me, ) I said solemnly.
She laughed. " Good night, Visser Three."
( Good night, Visser One. )
Until my return,
Esplin 9466
There! Wasn't that SWEET? Visser Three is not the Yeerk version of the Grinch after all! Hope you enjoyed that and don't forget to review. Merry Christmas everyone!