Hazard 13:What's goin' on now?

Night Joe: Waiting for shit to happen…

Hazard 13:It seems that nobody is reviewing. I accept anonymous reviews. If you read, review.

Death: I am talking to this "Hoboslayer". From this brief exposure to him, I believe him to be a complete fool.

Hoboslayer: Oh, you Mother-

Death: Feel my wrath.

Night Joe: Wow. How did his head…come off?

Death: Hmmm…

Hazard 13: Just so all you people reading this (assuming there is at least one of you besides Night Joe and occasionally Hoboslayer and Piemasher)

Disclaimer: I don't own FFTA, but I do own myself, Death (at least THIS incarnation of him/her/it) and I have use of Night Joe, Sred02, Hoboslayer, and Vinny (recently Vinjn) by permission of these people. I do not own the character of Ezel or lots of other crap.

Song: Route 666 by Helltrain

Chapter 12: Buildup

"It's time we make a stand against the idiots of this world."

"well, yeah, but I heard that Marche and the idiots were able to assemble most of the clans,."

"TRYING to…"

Night Joe, Hoboslayer, and I were thinking about how to prolong our stay in this Final Fantasy world, cuz we had real fun in it. Although we did not know whether or not we COULD or not was a different question.

"Dude, like why would they want to go back to the screwed up "normal" world?" I asked.

"Yeah seriously, when I showed them my spare Xbox, they had no clue what it was."

"Plus, you can kill stuff, and bring it back to life, and just keep bringing it back to life until you get bored with them."

Me, Night Joe, and Hoboslayer were discussing why we would want to stay or not stay in the fake Ivalice, or if we could just go back. It seems that although we would have to do without Xbox live, but at least we could have magic and skills with weapons.

-a day later

"I'm bored as hell. Hey, let's go raid the palace." Said Hoboslayer, returning from another uneventful raid on the town. Now, all we did was go attack buildings, until they fell over. Once in a while there were judges, but Hoboslayer decided to go kill them, cuz they were extremely annoying.

"What your plan requires is for us to find a suitable location, and food, drinks, and possibly my antilaw tent and cauldron. You, boy with the giant broadsword! Can you get my cauldron and put it on my wagon?" said Ezel, after we had discussed what we were to do. We now had a three chocobo wagon, with ex-judge chocobos to pull it. Unfortunately, we had to move out into an area with two large caves, which was a month's walk, but just a twelve or so hour ride using the chocobos. I found an area in the back of the large wagon, took one of the hundreds of pillows that Ezel owned, and put it underneath me, and I took a few more, making myself a sort of chair, so as to sleep for a while.

-Weird-ass Dream

I was walking through an aisle, inside a gigantic library, and twelve large potatoes (With faces) came out of some other rows of books. They all yelled something about me eating so many of their friends, when a ripple appeared on the ground, making the floor so that a hole was made, and from the hole came Death.

"We have arrived at the caverns, wake up, or I will drop you on the ground from a cliff."

"All right, whatever…"

-Back in FFTA

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…" I said as I woke up. The sky was dark, and lots of strange formations were up in the air. It seemed that I was laying down by a fire, which was burning white. My friends were all around me, with Night Joe at my left, on a stump, Hoboslayer, on a large rock, sharpening his broadsword, and Ezel, in front of me (The fire was in between us).

"Yo Hazard…You're finally awake, huh." Said Night Joe, as he looked over towards me.

"We are in a bit of trouble, because your stupid friend Hoboslayer went and blew up Bervenia Palace…now…guess what?" he paused to take a breath. "There is a giant reward on all our heads! Some idiot clan Ox or something is trying to track us, but Night Joe decided to give them a giant meteor, to block them off." Yelled Ezel, extremely fast.

"It's not that bad…" I said.

"Dude, it kinda is…they put a bounty on all of us…300,000 gil each, but they also put a 350,000 gil for me, because I broke Bervenia palace." Replied Hoboslayer.

"Hey, that was kinda fun, you know…too bad you were asleep" said Vinny, who was behind me."

From behind Ezel, Sred02's voice answered: "NO IT WAS NOT!"

"Well yeah…cuz you got thrown through the air when I summoned like fifty meteors onto the palace. Dude, it kicked ass, cuz I used both haste, and had the others give me elixirs. Hoboslayer, though…he just went in, and kept killing lots of guards and judges…I guess lots of them saw who killed most of them." Finished Night Joe, breathing heavily.

"Three squads charged me, while I guarded the wagon. I let none survive." Said Death, in a cold, menacing voice.

Ezel stood up, and looked at the fire. You know, legend has it that our good friend Death, you know…" he trailed off. He pointed at Death "Our friend here is in one of the lost chronicles of Gaol's book." Death, who was looking at the fire, immediately faced towards Ezel.

"Who the hell is gay mole?" asked Hoboslayer with a questioning glance.

"Dude, remember how you never beat like ten missions in your old Clan Fenix file?" asked Night Joe. Hoboslayer nodded in acknowledgement.

"Those were some of the missions." I said.

"Yeah, he was like a hero of light and shit." Finished Sred02.

"So, like he's an idiot that died. Great. Why the hell do I care?" asked Hoboslayer.

"You shall help me hunt down the person who has taken the place of the paladin, and watch as I slaughter him with my blade. In return, I shall remain at your side within your clan".

"Hazard, will you come here for a moment?" Ezel's voice asked over the crackling of our fire. I stood from my place against the tree, and wandered over to were Ezel was lounging.

"I do believe that he is serious about killing Marche." He said in a serious tone.

"His real life body won't actually die though, so he should just be in a little pain for a while, until the idiot prince decides it time to go back to the real world." Put in Night Joe.

"Alright then…" he trailed off. "Well, anyways, I shall be in the cave if you need me, Hoboslayer and your other friends helped stow my stuff inside, and I used my "cleaning magic" to get all of the dust and dirt from off of the stone floor. I also managed to set up a barricade, so if we want to get inside, I can teleport us inside."

Upon further conversation, I found out that I had slept through a lot. Ezel had knocked out Babus with his Azoth spell, and Hoboslayer had knocked Llednar down 300 feet down from the top of the castle, into the moat, where he got stuck. No actual damage had occurred, but Night Joe had bribed a moogle with an airship to ship the unconscious Llednar over to another country, so he would not attack us. As I pondered this information, I heard something behind me. I turned quickly, pulling out a derringer-like pistol from my coat, and pointing it at-

"On behalf of Bervenia Palace and the United Clan Coalition, you are ordered to stand down and drop your weapons. Or, every decent clan in Ivalice, the judges, and the palace guards shall put you into early graves." Said the Judgemaster, Cid.

"Marche? NOW!". From out of the trees, dozens of viera, bangaa, humans, moogles, and Nu Mou appeared. In front of them, Marche, Ritz, Shara, Montblanc, and Doned walked out.

By now, Death, Night Joe, and everyone else were awake, and as Death saw Marche, he ran towards the army, killing twelve judges out of hand on his way over to Marche. He grabbed him by the shoulders, and said a phrase in some weird language. They disappeared.

"Hey!" Ritz yelled.

"Brother!" Doned screamed.

"Marche!" Montblanc screeched.

"That's it. Everyone, ATTACK!"

Hazard 13:Well here we go, even if nobody wants to see, here is chapter 12.

Night Joe: Hey, at least I reviewed.

Death: What is this "Review" you speak of?

Hoboslayer: (In Cape Cod…)