A/N: This chapter is based on a review idea by Kamikaze, and therefore the chapter is also dedicated to you. Thank you very much for the great idea, and I hope you enjoy this rendition of your suggestion:D
Side note… Take your time reading this one, guys. Because after this, there are only five chapters left!
Enjoy!
Visser Three's Diary
Chapter 15: Oatmeal and a Double Date
July 24th
Entry I don't remember.
Dear Diary,
" Iniss! Oh, Iniss! Like, what does he want for Empire Day? Like, what is his like telecom code? What is his like room key code? What like brand of shampoo does he use? Like, VISSER THREE! Are you like LISTENING to me! Uhh! Males!"
Yeaahh… A prime example of what I've had to PUT UP WITH ever since we got back from the GYM yesterday.
Hard to believe, but I'm really starting to think Ellie just may have feelings for Iniss… If I'm crazy and simply having hallucinations due to overconsommation of nuisant products, tell me now!
But seriously, there's obsessed, then there's Iniss, and then there's ELLIE. I mean, to think I thought Iniss was bad with his overly annoying Visser One obsession! Ellie was like the thing that wouldn't shut up. Every single word that came out of her god damn mouth had something to do with Iniss! Iniss this, Iniss that! Iniss's brand of shampoo. Iniss's brand of oatmeal. Iniss's brand of boxers for crying out loud! I mean, who wants to even go there with INISS?
Hmm… I think I may have to have a word with her about that…
So yes, since this morning, I was stuck in this room with my intern (help!) yapping my ears off about my personal assistant. Fun life, eh?
But you really didn't expect it to get any better, did you?
No, come on, it's been long enough already. You, Diary, should know by now that I have the absolute worst luck on the face of any possible planet I happen to venture on.
" Visser Three?"
( What, Ellie? ) I asked, desperately trying NOT to sound exasperated.
" Do you… do you think that Iniss would like to go out… on a date… with me?"
I almost choked on the water I was absorbing through my hoof.
( EXCUSE me? ) I exclaimed. ( You want to go on a date with INISS? What are you, a human? )
She shrugged. " Hey, it's a good custom."
I just stared.
( Okay. Ellie, before your poor little heart is broken, I may want to mention that -- )
- BANG BANG BANG!
" VISSER THREE WHERE IS MY BOX OF FLAKIES!" I heard Visser One shriek from outside the door.
I leaned over and yelled back at her. ( I took them from you for your own good you dapsen. You had SEVEN FLAKIES yesterday. That's enough now. )
" UUHHH!" she yelled angrily before kicking the door and stomping away.
( Sooomeone is in a good mood today… ) I muttered sarcastically.
" You took Visser One's flakies?" Ellie asked increduously.
( Yes, I did. She'll get fat and grouchy and then Iniss won't be madly in love with her anymore. Which would be a bad thing because it annoys her, and that amuses me. Even I deserve some amusement once in a while. )
Ellie suddenly looked on the verge of tears.
" Iniss is in love with Visser One?" she whispered.
I rolled my eyes. ( Who isn't in love with Visser One? )
" YOU! Like, hello!" yelled Ellie, waving a frustrated hand in front of my frustrated face.
( Look, Ellie -- ) I started.
" Visser One this, Visser One that!" She was starting to get angry. " Tell me, what's so damn SPECIAL about Visser One!"
I raised an eyebrow at her. Was Ellie an airhead, or had I just been drinking too much egg nog?
( Okay, number one, Visser One is, well, VISSER ONE. ) I said, it was just so obvious.
" What does that matter?"
I sighed. ( Don't you understand anything? She is the ONLY high-ranking female Yeerk in the Empire. You have to expect most males to want her for that. )
" That is like, so dishonest." Ellie pouted.
( But it's the truth. ) I said. ( And what does not help you out is that, as you may have noticed, she is also very attractive. You also have to expect most males, and especially Iniss, to want her for that. )
She bit her lip. Wow, did she really, I mean really… like Iniss? Whoa. There's one for the records.
" I really, really like Iniss…" she moaned.
Well… what did I tell you?
- Ding dong.
" Esplin open the door. Now." Now would you look at that. The evil witch had come to torment me once again.
I got up, rolling my eyes, and walked towards the evil door of ultimate doom.
( Ellie? ) I said in private thought-speak. ( Don't pounce on her okay? )
I looked back and noticed that my intern was positively furious. Jealousy lit up her eyes and… there was a piece of spaghetti in her hair. Good thing she hadn't noticed, or else Girly-Almighty would have started screaming her guts out, which wouldn't have helped out the situation, considering the windows in this room aren't exactly at their most stable.
( Wait… What am I saying? ) I exclaimed. ( Go right ahead! Pounce on her, it would make my day! )
I walked up and opened the door. An unusually stunning Visser One (because you know, that's really going to HELP my Ellie situation), her long, straight jet black hair swept high up in a fancy ponytail and her big black eyes seeming even larger due to quick application of a simple eyeliner, walked gracefully into the room and wandered wordlessly into the kitchen.
( Where are you going? ) I demanded.
" To get my flakies." she said simply.
( No! No, I said no! ) I yelled, grabbing her arm with my weak Andalite hand as Ellie stood there, in front of the couch, petrified in anger and jealousy toward my worst enemy, who was trying to STEAL her flakies from me!
" They're MY flakies, you dapsen!"
( Not anymore! ) I yelled, pulling with all my might with my weak Andalite arms.
" You dapsen, let me GO!"
( Why should I? ) I asked, raising my voice – as if it wasn't raised enough already.
Ellie glared me down. Lords, well if this was going to completely ruin her internment – I mean internship, I'd get her a freaking date!
I let go of Visser One. ( Go ahead, take your damn flakies. See if I care. )
And then, I turned around and walked out the door. Where was I going, you ask? Why, to Iniss's room, of course!
---
- Toc toc.
Because stupid Iniss can't afford a doorbell.
I heard frantic running, and for a moment I seriously thought I was to be attacked by a stampede. But then the door swung open and I found myself facing Iniss, his hair all wet and wearing nothing but a bath towel and a yellow ducky cap.
And this was all perfectly normal to me!
" VISSER!" Iniss exclaimed with a huge smile. " GREAT to see you. I got this new Visser One poster, you just have to --"
( Iniss, you really need to stop talking about Visser One every two seconds. ) I said sincerely.
He immediately shut up.
( Thank you! ) I said not-so-sincerely. ( Now, we need to talk about someone else. NOT Visser One. )
" Who?" Iniss enquired.
( Well… Ellie. )
" Ellie?" he was confused.
( Yes… ) I continued. ( Turns out she, well, likes you. ) I shuddered once again at the thought of someone or something liking Iniss.
" She LIKES me?" he exclaimed. " As in likes?"
( That's exactly what I said, ) I said, rolling my eyes. ( And now she wants to go on a date with you. )
" A date? With ME?" Iniss pointed frantically at himself in disbelief. " As in a real date?"
( That's exactly what I said. ) More "eyerolling" (Visser One's word, not mine).
The look on Iniss's face would have been absolutely priceless, any OTHER time. Now it was just annoying.
After a few more decades of silence, I frowned and finally asked:
( Sooo… Will you go with her, or not? )
Iniss looked at me in panic. " Are you kidding me? I mean, Ellie's pretty, and nice, but she is going to LIKE my ears off!"
( She will not LIKE your ears off, you fool. ) I countered. ( I'll just tell her you don't like it when she says that constantly. I mean, it'll do pretty much everyone a service. )
Iniss swept a hand through his hair. He looked like freaking Visser One.
" But doesn't she know that I'm in love with someone else?" he asked.
( LORDS, Iniss. ) I exclaimed. ( You are a perfect example of a Yeerk who is never, EVER going to get a mate. Do you know WHY? )
" … Why?" he asked. Doesn't take much does it?
I grabbed his shoulders and shook him roughly. ( Because you are wasting your life away on Visser One! Can you not see she doesn't love you back? I hate to pity Visser One, but for the LORDS' SAKES will all you people just LEAVE the big dapsen ALONE? )
He looked at me and blinked twice. " But I love her."
( I know Iniss, but there are about seven COUNCILORS who love her too. Do you really think you stand even the decimal of a chance? She's personally told me she'll only go for Councilors and Vissers. You are neither. Ellie likes you, she actually LIKES you, and you're just going to throw it away on a nonexistant hope? You sicken me. )
Iniss's eyes watered. " I won't go if Visser One isn't there," he said stubbornly.
( RAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! ) I yelled.
I have no clue why, but now that Iniss was DISAGREEING with me about the date with Ellie, something was driving me to go to any lengths to make it happen. Just to have the last word with my own personal assistant and prove myself to… hey, myself! But whatever the reason, this date just HAD to happen.
I spun around and yelled back at Iniss, ( Don't. Even. Move. )
Iniss just stood there as I galloped madly back down the hall to Visser One's room. I knocked like a maniac.
- Toc toc toc BANG BANG BANG!
Because I forgot Visser One had a doorbell. So I decided to have a nice game of bloody knuckles with her lumberjack of a steel door.
The door slid open.
" WHAT do you WANT?" she exclaimed, half of a flakie in her mouth.
I shook my head. ( You are a disgrace, ) I said quite solemnly.
Without an invitation, I literally barged into the room.
"HURR!" Translation: "Hey!", with mouth full.
I spun around and faced Visser One the Flakie Queen. ( Okay, I KNOW this is going to sound really weird, but… will you go on a DATE with me? )
" HACK!" Visser One… well, hacked.
She choked on her flakie and started coughing until her face turned blue. I stepped over and hit her back until she coughed it up and gasped for breath.
( I said date, not die. )
" A date?" she exclaimed. " Are you crazy, Visser Three? … NO!"
( Look, it isn't at ALL what you think! ) I yelled.
" Oh I'll bet," she said sarcastically, raising an eyebrow and, understandably, taking a few steps away from me.
I mean, if Visser One had spontaneously asked me on a date, I would probably have taken a few steps away from her too, for fear of contracting some horrible mind-altering disease!
… Yes, we really do hate each other THAT MUCH. You didn't believe me, what?
( It isn't! It really isn't! ) I exclaimed, throwing my hands up in plea.
" Then what is it?" she asked, imitating me. Except not in plea.
I rolled my eyes. ( Here's the thing: Ellie likes Iniss, and -- )
" She LIKES Iniss? As in LIKES?" Visser One exclaimed, astounded.
( That's exactly what I said, ) I said again. ( So anyway, now she wants to go on a date with him -- )
" On a date?" Visser One squeaked. " With INISS?"
( That's exactly what I said. ) Gee, was this deja-vu or what? ( … And would you STOP interrupting me? )
" Sorry."
( But he REFUSES to go with her unless you, Miss Yeerk Homeworld, are there. )
" That idiot. Doesn't he realize he has no chance with me?" Visser One "eyerolled".
I threw my hands in the air in exasperation. ( That's EXACTLY what I said! )
" So, you are asking me to date you… why?" This person just has no clue.
( You just have no clue. ) I said. ( I won't have Iniss disobeying me! I want the last word with him at all times! So if you and I… go on a double date with Ellie and Iniss… It could all work out. And I WIN. )
" Oh, so this is just all about your ego?" she frowned. " Forget it!"
( No! Visser One, no! ) I yelled as she turned around and walked away.
She spun back around, with THE most sickened look I've ever seen.
( We'll go see a human motion picture. ) I negotiated. ( I'll… I'll buy you a box of flakies! And you can have them ALL! )
Visser One thought that over. " … Make that a box of flakies and three chocolate bars – the ones I LIKE – and I'll do it."
( THANK YOU! ) I yelled in gratitude.
" You better thank me," she said. She smirked. " And of course, you'll owe me."
( Owe you what! ) I exclaimed in horror.
She rolled her eyes and looked at me in shock. " Visser Three! God, NO! I meant MONEY."
( Money? ) I echoed.
" Yes. Money. Five hundred Yeerk coins. Cough it up." She held out her hand.
I just stared. ( Five HUNDRED? I only HAVE nine hundred and ten Yeerk coins LEFT! )
" And soon you'll have four hundred and ten left. Cough it up!"
I practically fainted in the unfairness of it all. ( What, you charge for DATES now? )
" Why not? I can make a fortune." Well, at least she doesn't annoyingly deny the obvious. " I'm being generous. It's usually seven hundred, but I know you're poor."
( Thaaaaanks… ) I said bitterly.
She smirked.
( Okay, tell you what. ) I said. ( We'll see how it goes, and if you're… satisfactory… I'll pay you your money. Okay? )
" Fine," she gave in angrily. " But you still have to buy me the flakies!"
( Yes. )
" And chocolate bars!" she raised her finger threateningly.
( Yes, Visser One. )
" Okay." She gave a neutral expression. " When's the date?"
( I don't know. Tomorrow? )
" Pick me up, or else I won't go."
( Fine. Bye. )
" Bye."
---
Strangely enough (but as I suspected), Iniss accepted with open arms!
In fact, he wouldn't stop talking about it for the rest of the afternoon (thaaanks, Visser One…)! I didn't mind at first, but by the end of the night it started to get REALLY. ANNOYING.
" Oh my LORDS Visser!" he beamed. " You actually got Visser One to come on a date with me?"
( … You could say that, ) I did not lie, I simply… omitted certain truths.
He smiled extravagantly. " Oh, thank you, thank you! It's everything I have ever dreamed of!"
He made a small, and quite frankly awfully feminine, little twirl to fall onto his bed.
" Oh Visser, Visser, HOW can I repay you?" he asked.
I thought that over for a moment. Then I smirked. ( Five hundred Yeerk coins? )
" Done!" he smiled.
( … You actually have five hundred Yeerk coins? ) I asked, dumbfounded.
" I've been saving my money for ages to bribe Visser One into going out with me. But NOW, thanks to you, I don't need to!"
Suddenly, he got up, ran over and hugged me.
( Iniss, GET OFF! ) I exclaimed.
" Thank you thank you thank you!" he cried.
( I know you're thankful. But a MALE does not HUG another male! It is simply wrong! … LET GO! )
He let go.
( Thank you. )
He simply smiled at that. " Soooo… When's the date?"
( Tomorrow at three. But don't forget, you have to bring Ellie along too. )
" Of course!"
( Okay. Just making sure. Now, if you'll be so kind as to excuse me, I have to go to bed now. We have a big day tomorrow. )
He beamed again, and, sick and tired of all his beaming, I got out and slammed the door in his face.
I walked exasperatedly down the hall (again) to my room. Once I arrived, I slammed in the key code and marched inside, only to be confronted by a very hyper, pigtailed Ellie.
" Like, Visser?" she asked, smiling her face off like an Andalite bandit who has just discovered cheese-covered biscuits. " Like, what did he say?"
( He said yes, ) There I went again in my "omitting of certain truths".
Ellie literally LEAPED into the air like a Taxxon chasing some injured flying creature, and crashed onto me.
" THANK YOU VISSER! LIKE, YOU'RE THE BEST!" she screeched euphorically. It was nice knowing you, windows.
( Ellie, no offence, ) I said exhaustedly. ( But please. Please shut up. )
" Like, UGH!" Ellie said, offended despite my warning.
( I'm going to bed. )
" Fine!" she said angrily. Then her tone softened and she smiled. " … Like, good night Visser!"
( Yeah. I better have a good night. )
I didn't even look back to see her face after that one… It wasn't worth it. I could picture the tusks already.
I galloped into my room and crashed onto my bed. I spent like five hours TRYING to fall asleep, but my ugly shitty green pillow just would NOT allow me to get comfortable. Eventually I just threw the pillow onto the floor and lay on my bed without it (which helped, surprisingly). Why does Visser One get all the comfortable pillows? Sure, they're fluffy and pink and give me nightmares, but oh how comfortable!
I tossed and turned like a lunatic for a few more minutes, then, eventually, I got settled in.
( I hate dates, ) I muttered before finally dozing off.
Sleep, wonderful sleep… But, unfortunately, sleep only quickens the inevitable. And especially the dreaded.
And so I heard, what seemed like fifteen minutes later, my INFERNAL singing alarm clock going through its normal routine of waking me up out of my otherwise beautiful slumber.
- BZZZT! BZZZT! BZZZT! Please wake up and start your day! BZZZT! BZZZT! BZZZT! Please wake up and start your –
- BAM! I slammed my weak Andalite fist down on the freaking dapsen of an awaking mechanism.
( Right, so this thing is getting aboard the next Earth-shipping ship… ) I muttered sleepily to myself as I walked out of my bedroom.
I found Ellie sitting nervously on the couch. She was biting her fingernails in a very girly fashion.
( What are you doing here this early? ) I demanded, still half-asleep.
Ellie looked at me objectively. " Like, it's one o'clock!" she exclaimed. " And I like LIVE here!"
One o'clock? Hmm… Two hours before the – TWO HOURS BEFORE THE DATE!
( Are you ready for the DATE? ) I yelled in a panic.
" The – THE DATE?" Ellie yelled, for once NOT saying 'like'. " When is it?"
( It's today! )
" WHAT?"
( At THREE! )
" WHAT?" she gasped angrily. " Like, Visser Three! That's in freaking TWO HOURS!"
( Yep. And we still have to get there. ) I said. ( So stop complaining and get ready! )
Ellie didn't even answer. She grabbed her shoulder-length red hair and tried to blindly fashion it as she sprinted to the bathroom like there was no tomorrow.
I just stood there. I would obviously be in human morph for the date, which meant I could not get ready yet because I would need to demorph, and then when I remorphed all my getting-ready efforts would be completely gone to fluffy pink hell.
Out of ideas, I sat down on the couch and waited for Ellie to be finished (In other words, I'd be here for a while…). I wondered… I know it sounds stupid, but I wondered if Visser One was getting ready for the date too. I mean, it would be completely unlike her to get herself perfectly made-up and dressed for a date with ME. Then again, Visser One is always perfectly made-up and dressed, so I probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference either way.
I tried to stop wondering, and more importantly stop thinking about Visser One. I mean, "thinking" and "Visser One" really do not belong in the same sentence, in any order!
… God Visser One is annoying. She really needs to find herself a life. And with the money she's got, she could probably buy herself one! (As a last resort, of course…) I mean, she probably BOUGHT her mate anyway, so what gives! Actually, knowing Visser One, I bet her mate bought her. Now let's hope she never finds this unless you want to get split clear down the midsection.
What seemed like two freaking hours later, Ellie FINALLY came out of the bathroom… not looking much different than when she started out.
" So?" she beamed. " Like, how do I look?"
I hesitated. ( Uh… much different than when you started out. )
She smiled at me. " You really think so?"
( Ye -- )
" THANK YOU VISSER!" she hugged me and calmly walked out the door.
I stood up and walked out behind her without getting a girly pinkish purse across the head.
And you people say it's so important to be honest. Honest my furry blue Andalite butt.
We walked out of the room and into the hallway. When I looked at Ellie's watch (she was way too lazy to do it herself) and realized it was ONE FIFTY-EIGHT, I got her to run over and pick up Iniss while I got Visser One. Hopefully Visser One would decide to not keep me waiting an eternity like every other time I unfortunately must go somewhere with her.
Don't worry Diary, I had the bait. I'm not that idiotic.
I knocked on the door. ( Visser One, it's time to go. )
I heard a soft jabbing sound.
" Wait – wait a second!" she exclaimed.
( Yeah right, Visser One! ) I said temptingly. ( I have a flaaakiiiiieee. )
I waved the flakie in front of the door. As if that would have even the tiniest effect.
She snorted from the other side of the door. " You really think you can lure me with food? You insult me."
( … It's a living? ) I suggested.
She let out an incredibly sarcastic "Ha", but then I saw the door slowly slide open. She stood with her back against the left side wall of her small entryway. Her long bangs were combed back into a flat pin on top of her head, leaving her forehead exposed and making her lined black eyes seem unnaturally large. The rest of her hair was down with only the slightest waves, made up to look perfectly natural. She was wearing a gorgeous pearl necklace that hung more than low enough for Iniss (wait, did I really just write that? … Just forget it, Diary).
I guess she noticed I was, ah, staring. As in Understatement-of-the-Year staring. Wow, she really does have a brain.
" What are you looking at, you dapsen?"
( Could you at least TRY to be ugly! ) I yelled in frustration.
She just looked at me and blinked twice.
" Why would I do that to a natural benefit?"
( YOU are a DAPSEN. ) I said quite frankly. ( And a big, fat, flakie-eating one at that. )
" I know that already," she rolled her eyes. " You've only told me, oh, a trillion times."
I rolled my eyes as well. Then, at that moment, Ellie and Iniss came running back up to us. Ellie had the hugest smile on her face. Iniss did too when he saw Visser One!
" Are we, like, ready?" Three guesses who that was, and the first two don't count.
" Yes," Visser One replied, glancing doubtfully at me.
( Same, ) I said as well.
And Iniss, in all his In-Awe-of-Visser-Oneness, just basically didn't say anything.
We went to the ship dock and got into a high-class Bug fighter. Since we were already in relatively close orbit to Earth, it would be easy to get there in time. It was two twenty when we left the Empire ship for Earth, and only ten minutes later we started to descend into the planet's atmosphere.
" Right, so we have exactly thirty minutes to get down there and find a theater," Visser One said. " Assuming everyone's fine with an afternoon movie."
( Great… ) I said. It could always be worse.
---
Finding a theater wasn't as hard as I'd expected. Turns out that, in America, people enjoy movies. So there were pretty much theaters EVERYWHERE.
We chose a moderately big theater called "Empire Theatres". I completely freaked because I thought it meant the Yeerk Empire and that the humans had found us. But Visser One assured me that I was simply stupid and that the humans had absolutely no clue of our existence (except the ones we'd infested already, hah hah so funny).
We bought tickets to a movie called "Mouse Hunt". It was about two humans who had a big establishment worth a lot of money, but which had one flaw: a super-intelligent rodent was invading the home, and no matter how many times the humans tried to rid themselves of it, it always more or less vanquished the stupid men.
I mean, being won over by a mouse? How pitiful can you get?
We sat together in a row toward the middle of the large array of seats. From right to left there was Ellie, Iniss, then Visser One, and finally me (having morphed to human of course). Visser One commented that I looked "awfully cute" sitting there in a theater in my freaking morphing suit. I think the awfully cute part was sarcastic. Or at least I hope it was.
We watched about as many previews as there were insects on this planet, and then, finally, the movie started.
" Please be curteous, and deposit refuse in the waste bin." The movie screen suddenly spoke up. " Thank you and enjoy your movie!"
" Deposit refuse in the waste bin my ass!" Visser One exclaimed, tearing open her first flakie from the box I had been forced to buy her.
That Yeerk seriously needs help… Good thing Overeaters Anonymous Yeerk groups exist.
The movie started with Visser One chewing on her flakie. It was a grim setting, of an Earth funeral. Men carried a big black coffin down some stairs in the pouring rain... Then, suddenly, there went the coffin, flying down the steps and right into an open sewer!
" Hmm…" Visser One said. " Good idea. Might do that for you when you finally DIE."
( Why thank you, Miss Yeerk Homeworld, ) I said very bitterly.
The movie continued. It was actually very funny, especially the part where Ernie was flying down the snowbanks in a newly-bought Jacuzzi tub. It reminded me vaguely of the time where my Andalite toilet had gotten detached, with me still on it, and went flying through the – alright, why don't I just be nice and spare you the gruesome details?
" I like, like this movie," Ellie said, typically with one "like" too many.
" Me too," Iniss agreed stupidly. " Hehe, it's FUNNY."
" Yeah," Visser One agreed. " Especially when Ernie was flying down the snowbanks in the Jacuzzi tub." She laughed. " It reminded me --"
" – Of the time when my Andalite toilet got detached and went flying through the whole Empire building?" I asked jokingly, a bit surprised that Visser One had been thinking of the same thing I had.
Visser One too, looked shocked. " And even down the stairs," she added.
" And even down the stairs." I repeated, laughing.
She laughed too and looked at me. Our gaze met for a moment before turning away, as always.
The movie ended strangely enough… The mouse, whom the two humans despised to the point of killing, did not end up dead… no, on the contrary! He ended up as the cheese-taster at the Schmutz Cheese factory. How weird is that?
" Right…" I said as the credits rolled and we walked again toward the exit.
" Like, double right," Ellie agreed.
" A mouse working in a cheese factory?" I pondered. " Sometimes I wonder who makes these human movies."
" Uhhh… huuumans?" Visser One, in her "DUH" tone.
" Yeah, I figured that much," I snapped.
We reached the doors and stepped outside into the warm summer air.
" Like, that was the best date ever!" Ellie exclaimed.
Iniss was about to say something, but I looked at him and threateningly slid my finger across my throat. It's safe to say he shut up for a while.
I tried to get both Ellie and Iniss to say as less as possible the whole way back to the Empire ship. Which worked okay, except for a few close calls, like Ellie's twenty-one questions to Iniss about what he had thought of the date. I always had to distract them both with comments like "Look Iniss, a spot of cheese!" or "Look Ellie… something pink and shiny!"
It worked like a charm. Kudos to me, the brilliant mastermind behind the invasion of the brainless humans.
Visser One and I avoided each other's eyes and did not talk to each other at all ever since the jacuzzi incident. We had looked at each other much too long for comfort, and I think we were both awfully embarrassed about it.
I parked the Bug fighter (as in almost crashed the Bug fighter) and the four of us stepped out and went our separate ways.
" Goodbye Iniss," Ellie said, kissing him on the cheek. " Thank you for the like WONDERFUL date!"
She ran away, just in time, before Iniss could annoyingly yell out that it wasn't a date and ruin the entire plan.
I smiled smugly. I am such a genius.
Then I walked off to my room, leaving Iniss and Visser One there alone. I give Visser One, say… two seconds to run away screaming like the chickens.
Once inside my beautiful, WONDERFUL room (sorry for the very Ellie-ish use of the word), I quickly demorphed and got a nice, hot bowl of maple and ginger instant oatmeal brewing on the voice-automated stove ( … what?). But only about two seconds later, maybe a bit more, I heard a gentle knock on my door.
What did I tell you.
I walked slowly over to open the door. As I suspected, Visser One was standing there, looking just as pissed-off as usual.
( What is it that you want now? ) I asked exasperatedly.
She rolled her eyes. " My five hundred Yeerk coins! Hand them over!"
I sighed and walked to the entry table where rested the five hundred Yeerk coins Iniss had given me. I picked up the bill and, rolling all four of my eyes, I unwillingly handed it to her…
And as the last second, grinned and pulled it back.
( No way, Visser One. ) I said.
" What the hell!" she yelled angrily. " Give it!"
( Uh-uh, ) I shook my head. ( You told me to give it to you if you were satisfactory. Which you weren't. )
" Of course I was satisfactory!" she screamed in outrage. " How dare you? Why and how was I not satisfactory?"
I simply let out a laugh. " You never are, Visser. You never are."
She sighed angrily, and without a word stomped out into the hall and slammed the door in my face. I heard her frustrated footsteps stop at her door and push in the code.
But then, listening carefully, I heard her laugh softly.
" That stupid Andalite lover," she muttered to herself as her door slid closed behind her.
Until my return,
Esplin 9466
Well, okay, that was not the best… But then again, not every chapter can be the best (it's hard to beat Host Swap in my opinion, lol). There's chapter fifteen for ya, hope you enjoyed!
By the way, I don't own the movie Mouse Hunt. Great movie, and I forget who made it, but it isn't mine:P I shall see you all very soon (hint)!