A/N: You guys, if you don't mind, I'd really like 150 reviews before I post chapter 19. Eight reviews. It isn't too much to ask for, considering the amount of hits this story has (going on 1300 now). So I'll make you a deal: If I get 150 reviews, I'll post chapter 19 in the next week. Okay? Deal? ;)
Dedicated to the staff of Behind Closet Doors and all the other Closet Fans out there. This is the one you've been waiting for.
Visser Three's Diary
Chapter 18: Good Morning at 2 A.M.
August 1st, at about four o'clock in the morning...
Entry eighteen.
Dear Diary,
Before I say anything, I shall imply... No one shall ever find this entry while I am still around to be embarrassed by it...
That dream came back again! How long will it haunt me! I've been having the same dream, the same dream I had the night following the Human Culture Fest, for about a MONTH now! Okay, Creator-Dude! Now can I wake up!
Anyway, I was having the dream, but I was AWAKENED by a knock on the door!
( Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...? ) I complained, my voice muffled by sleep.
I checked the time. Two A.M.! Who could possibly want to visit me at this hour!
I wanted to tell Iniss to answer the door. But no, I couldn't: He was probably snoring over in his room!
Reluctantly, I got up from my soft, cuddly bed and walked over to the door. I yawned and opened it...
And let me just tell you, not only was I surprised, I was frickin' APPALLED by who was standing in the doorframe...
( Oh, God... ) I yawned, starting to shut the door on the small, delicate figure who had come to torment me. Again.
But she slammed both her hands on the door and held it open with arms much stronger than my own.
" Let me in!" she said.
( Why should I! ) I exclaimed. ( It's TWO A.M., for the Emperor's sake! I need at least fourteen hours of sleep! )
" Too bad!" Visser One said. " You'll get them some other night when someone isn't trying to--"
My anger toned down a bit. I looked at her intently.
( ... Trying to what? ) I asked softly.
Visser One looked down at the ground.
" Trying to..." she hesitated. " To kill me."
My eyes widened.
" Five minutes ago, somebody broke into my room with a pretty weak -- but still lethal -- Dracon Beam. I'm guessing it was my attacker from yesterday. I wasn't sleeping, and I chased him away with my much more powerful beam... But he could come back. So I can't stay there! And since you're the only other person near enough to my room for me to safely walk to... Let me in!"
( And what if I refuse? ) I asked, desperately trying to chase that horrid dream out of my head. ( This assaulter could get rid of you for me. I could advance in the ranks -- )
" Fine!" Visser One raged. " I thought you were my rival, not a fricking dapsen preparing to HIRE someone to kill me FOR you! I don't need you. I'll find another way!"
She stormed down the hallway.
Hah, that's what she gets... I thought. Go ahead and die, Visser One.
I was quite proud of myself. I smiled. Everything was great...
But yet... She couldn't die! Who would I fight with? Argue with? Who would I rival until the end for the top spot in the ranks?
No one else. There was no one else! No one could ever replace Visser One in the strange way that she meant to me, and I knew it.
( Visser One, wait! ) I yelled.
She stopped. Turned back.
( You... you win. You can stay here. But just tonight!
She didn't say anything. She just turned back and walked toward me, slowly, almost hesitant. And then she stopped in front of me, and looked up at me with those mesmerizing black eyes.
" You won't Dracon Beam me in my sleep?" she asked.
( No, ) I said.
I felt strange. Proud, anguished, happy and defeated all at once.
... But most of all, I wanted to go to bed!
Then, the strangest thing happened. Something that happened only in the HCF dream.
Visser One smiled, right at me. I mean really smiled. No frown, no usual evilness, no smirk. Just a smile. And her eyes shone like never before.
In all my life I'd seen a lot of things. Many things that most Yeerks never, ever get to see... But never before had I seen Visser One smile.
Ouch, I thought. Yeah... NOW I know how she brainwashes dozens of them every year...
... And then, as I thought that, that DAPSENISH DREAM came back in my head! I'm not SLEEPING, you fricking stupid annoying dream! You can LEAVE ME ALONE NOW!
- SMACK!
( OWWWW! ) I screamed. ( What the hell was that for? )
Visser One raised an eyebrow at me. Why would SHE raise an eyebrow at ME? She was the one who frickin' SLAPPED me!
" You look like your incredible dapsen of a personal assistant," she explained, smirking. " ... When he's around me on oatmeal."
( Huh? ... Oh. ) I blushed. ( Damn. )
She smiled, shook her head and walked into my room. I, of course, was still standing in the doorway like a complete doaf.
( Wait a second! ) I yelled at Visser One, following her into my room. ( ... What do you mean, Iniss when he's around you on oatmeal! Is that where he GOES during the weekend when he says he's got the 'human pox'? Visser One! Answer me! )
---
Well, it was about ten minutes later. And I still wasn't in sweet dreamland...
... Hold on... Wh -- Oh, just NEVER MIND!
I glared at Visser One. She was sitting on my bed! I would NOT have that! No, no, no! I neeeeeeeeeded my bed! AAARRRGH!
( Visser One! ) I exclaimed, wondering if she'd ever get the point.
" Mmm?" she replied, collapsing on her back onto the bed.
( ... There's only one bed! ) I yelled.
She looked at me as if I were a pure, non-infested Andalite.
" You don't need a bed!" she said. " I mean, you're an Andalite. And Andalites sleep standing up, you dapsenish creature!"
( Yeah, well, I'm a different Andalite. ) I said arrogantly. ( I am not deprived of luxuries! )
I walked over to the bed, lifted up a greatly struggling Visser One and set her down on the floor next to it.
" You are shameful!" she yelled.
( I'm sleepy, too, ) I said.
That said, I collapsed onto the bed and closed my eyes.
" If you fall on me, I shall haunt you forever." Visser One said sternly.
I smiled interiorly.
And I thought, You already do.
I know I'm a meanie. I know I'm a selfish meanie. And, most of all, I know I am a meanie that very many male Yeerks besides myself will yell at for throwing Visser One off a bed.
But seriously, people. A Visser needs his sleep!
Visser One grabbed a sheet of paper from my nightstand, rolled it into a ball and shot it at the back of my head. I really didn't care.
" Nice try, Visser One." I said sleepily, before settling in.
But right before I fell asleep... Visser One started doing that thing. That thing I really, REALLY hate when she does! Especially right now...!
... Yep, you guessed it. Visser One started talking. And trust me, when she's annoyed, she can yell at you for freaking hours.
Good-BYE sleep!
... Snif... Snif-snif-snif-SNIF!
" You're going to pay for this, you know." Visser One said. " Tomorrow morning, I'm going to frickin' kill you! You expect me to sleep on a floor! You're a f --
" Uh... Visser One?" I interrupted, " Two things. First: It's MY ROOM. Second: Shut up."
" NO!" she shrieked. " I will not shut up! You are my subordinate! I tell you when to shut up!"
And blah blah blah... On and on and on about insubordination and what a stupid dumb ass I am. She talked and yelled and talked and yelled for what seemed like fricking EIGHT HOURS. But seriously, I did NOT want to give in to her demands. So I wouldn't! Simple as that.
" ... Why oh WHY do I put up with such a fricking DAPSEN! And I thought Iniss was bad..."
( Bla bla bla bla BLAAAAA! ) I sang some sort of stupid song, trying my best to block out Visser One's annoying voice.
I plugged my ears and closed my eyes... And... Oh, was I sleeping? I opened my eyes, and...
2:13 a.m.
One minute later.
Shit.
I knew I should NEVER have let Visser One enter my sacred room. I KNEW IT! I save her life from some crazy, probably lustful criminal (Gee, I bet it was Iniss!), who had a gun in order to kill her if she resisted his weirdo demands, and THIS was how she thanked me! Well, we'd just see about that!
( SHUT UP, Visser One! ) I yelled at her. ( I let you use my room... which I'll have to Febreze later... )
Visser One jumped up. " Are you saying I have gross germs?"
( Nah, I farted. ) I said. ( But that too. )
" Aaaagh!" the annoying little devil spat, annoyed.
( Anyway, I let you use my room, and this is how you thank me! ) I exclaimed.
" YES!" she screamed. " This is how I thank you!"
She stood up again. I kneeled on my bed.
( I hate you, ) I said murderously.
" No, I hate you!" Visser One corrected.
( I hate you more! ) I said.
" No way!" she yelled.
And then, silence as our echoes died away into the night. I looked at her and found myself gazing into her eyes again, those beautiful black eyes whose coldness could never be broken. Sometimes I wondered what could have happened to settle such an unexpression in her eyes. And sometimes I wondered whether or not anything – or anyone – would ever be able to break that coldness…
She looked back at me, and I think that, subconsciously, we sort of came closer. Soon, before I knew it, she had sat down on the bed next to me, looking up.
( Rrgh. ) I said, turning away. ( FINE! You can use my bed. … Why do you do that, anyway! )
" Do what?" she asked innocently.
I sighed. ( Never mind. )
She smirked.
( I suppose I'll have to morph to human now, ) I said, ( because there surely won't be enough room for both of us while I'm in Andalite form, no matter how big the bed is. )
Visser One let out only the smallest giggle. Then she looked at me increduously and turned away, just as I began the morph.
I morphed as quickly as I could, then I ran into the bathroom so Visser One wouldn't see me in biking shorts. That's practically as bad as those human speedos (sick and wrong, those humans are). Okay, yeah, I was embarrassed for myself. Do you blame me?
Once I had my extra clothes on (well, pants, actually… what kind of self-respecting, sane human guy sleeps with a shirt!), I walked out of the bathroom only to find Visser One laying down on MY side of the bed. No. No way. There was NO WAY I would have that!
" VISSER ONE!" I shrieked with my newly acquired human voice. " Get onto the OTHER side of the bed! NOW!"
But despite my threats, Visser One typically just kind of lay there.
" Okay." I tried again. " Visser One, I'm counting to three. If at three you haven't moved, I am just going to lay right on you and fall asleep like that. And I'M HEAVY! And YOU'RE not going to move from under there! You'll croak!"
Visser One made a self-mocking "croaking" sound and smirked playfully at me. I rolled my eyes.
" One." I said firmly.
The evil devil didn't move an inch.
" Two!" I exclaimed through gritted teeth.
" Three," Visser One said in a sigh.
" You… you can't say three!" I exclaimed, frustrated. " Only I can say three! That's not how it WORKS!"
" It is now," Visser One raised her eyebrows at me and smirked, making me receive the strangest jolt in my stomach.
… Which I ignored due to my rage-slash-anger-slash-nutsoness-slash-oatmealized-mind-slash-host's-intestinal-problems-slash-some-other-random-emotion-I-can't-quite-place-and-won't-try-to-right-now-cough-so-ahem-drop-by-laterness-slash-frustration-at-how-there-are-way-too-many-SLASHES-in-this-pitiful-excuse-for-a-pitiful-excuse-for…-oh-just NEVER MIND!
" What. Are YOU doing!" Visser One exclaimed, having obviously noticed my staring into midair… or more like the air directly above Visser One's head. " Is there an Andalite bandit in my hair? Because if there is that poor slave will wish he'd never been born!"
I slowly shook my head.
" No? Well then what are you staring like Iniss at now?" she demanded.
I didn't answer. I just completely gave up on it all and went crashing, face first, into the pillow on the other side of the bed.
" Get a hold of yourself!" Visser One spat. " I don't sleep with madmen!"
I don't mean to sound like Ellie, but… I shot straight up like a damn board okay!
" WHOA! SLEEPING with… Who? Wha? … Oh. Okay then. Ha ha." And… the blood slowly made its way back throughout my body as I let out an embarrassed giggle and threw myself back onto the bed, staring at the opposite wall as if my freaking life depended on it.
I could feel Visser One staring at me.
" You… are a morn!" she exclaimed.
And for once I had nothing to say to that. Yes, yes I was a moron.
" You know who else is a moron?" I asked almost subconciously. " Councilor Eight. He's… he's just… he's just a complete moron. You know, you should really dump that guy. There are better people for you."
Visser One raised an eyebrow.
" Uh huh," she said, unimpressed. " Like who, for instance?"
" Like?" I squeaked. " Like… well, I don't know, like… INISS!" I blurted out the first thing that popped into my mind.
Strangely enough, that thing happened to be Iniss. Geez, I THOUGHT about Iniss!
… Shudder…
Visser One burst out laughing, and once again her beautiful smile appeared for nothing but a split-second.
" Excuse me?" she laughed. " Iniss? As in… YOUR P.A. Iniss?"
" Eum… Yeah?"
" Ha! Right." Visser One glared.
" I'm just saying," I blabbered a BIT more convincingly. " Even he's better than Councilor Eight…"
Visser One just stared, her expression somewhere between dumbstruck and angry.
" Just what exactly do you have against Councilor Eight?" she exclaimed.
" What do you mean?" I snapped, maybe a bit more than I meant to. " I have nothing against Councilor Eight. I just think you de— I mean he's a moron."
Visser One raised an eyebrow.
" I'm not stupid you know," she said. " And you're really starting to creep me out… The more I think about it, the more I'm starting to think you're jealous of Councilor Eight! You!"
" JEALOUS!" I yelled.
" Okay, you don't need the entire ship to --"
" Jealous!" I yelled again. " Me! … HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
May I precise the emphasis on that creepy laugh that made it resonate through the walls.
" You are jealous!" Visser One exclaimed, jerking back. " Oh lords!"
" I am not JEALOUS!" I yelled. " Why would I be jealous?"
" That's exactly what I want to know!"
" I'm not, alright? I hate you."
" Well then what's WRONG with you? You've been acting really weird lately."
I didn't really have to think about it. I knew exactly when it had all started. When everything had started going wrong. When the everlasting issues between Visser One and I amplified to become some weird tension.
Now, I'm not usually a touchy-feely kind of person, as those humans say… but what I was feeling right now was the strangest thing I'd ever felt in my life. A part of me wanted to hurt Visser One very badly (as usual), while another was still filled with a burning passionate hate… though somehow not as strong as it once had been (that last part there, not quite as usual). And weirdly enough, another part of me felt like I would be utterly helpless if she just got up and left (very unusual).
But in any case, I knew one thing with absolute certainty: and that was how all those feelings had started.
" Remember the HCF?" I asked Visser One.
" That time where you drugged me and we could very well have ended up with an awfully evil human child?" she replied accusingly. " Unfortunately, yes."
" For the last time… I did NOT --" I started. " Never mind, let's not get into that again. Anyway, remember the time not long after that when Visser Four dared us to kiss?"
" Yes, yes I do. I get it. The HCF ruined everything." Visser One said, not getting the point.
" No it didn't," I said. " Remember the dare?"
" Yeah, I told you already," Visser One rolled her eyes.
" And did… did you recall the HCF in the same way after that?" I asked a bit hesitantly.
To my surprise, Visser One actually was taken aback by that. She didn't answer, at least not for the moment, as her eyes darted slowly from wall to wall, her expression deeply pensive.
When she looked back I was surprised to find it was no longer anger lighting up her eyes. It was… awe.
" No," she said. " … No, I didn't!"
" Me neither. And it scares me not to know why," I said. I got up. " Now you know what's wrong with me."
I walked away and into my private bathroom. I demorphed and remorphed, and decided it might be a good idea to put my pants back on. But before I could get to them, I heard a voice behind me. The voice barely stifled a laugh.
" Quaker Oats boxers?"
" YAAAH!"
I spun around, covering the offensive boxers with my pants. The voice was Visser One of course. Gee, you could never have guessed that eh?
" Visser One! Ever heard of privacy?" I exclaimed, indignated. " Privacy. Me. Boxers. Now!"
Visser One smirked and stepped up to stand before me, not even leaving me time to put my wretched pants on!
" You were right you know," she said softly, waving her hand coolly. " About the dare. Everything's been kind of weird for me too, since then. I know what you mean."
I could have sighed in relief. At least she knew what I was talking about. And what was weird was that for once Visser One and I were on the same page, and I didn't even have the slightest urge to scream in horror!
" But I still think you're jealous." Visser One smirked.
Aaaannnd… there goes the relief.
" You IDIOT!" I shrieked, not really meaning it. " I'm going to KILL you!"
" Are you now?" asked Visser One calmly as she dodged out of my way while I tried to tackle her.
" You're a dweeb," I said.
" You're a geek!" Visser One shot back.
" You're a cornflake sniffer!" I yelled as I swiped at her again.
Visser One giggled. " You're Mrs. Loud-And-Nasal."
" That does it!"
I swiped again, and my arm caught her square across the lower abdomen. She gasped, stunned. I pulled her against me and squeezed until she couldn't breathe.
" Let me go!" she yelled, seriously lacking oxygen.
I didn't. Bad decision. I laughed cruelly at my prisoner, only to receive a strong blow from said prisoner's foot where it hurts.
" YOW!" I let her go and bent myself in two from the pain. " Geez! You really didn't have to --"
" Excuse me?" she raised an eyebrow. " I was dying from lack of oxygen! It was self-defense, HELLO."
" Self-defense my Andalite ass!" I exclaimed.
Uncalled for by Visser One, I suddenly jerked up to full height and shoved her roughly onto the bed. She laughed and tried to sit up but before she knew it I was pinning her down and punching her almost playfully in the stomach.
" Stop it!" she exclaimed. " Let me go already, I get it! You don't like females commenting on your underwear!"
I laughed.
" Wrong, Visser One, I don't like anyone commenting on my underwear." I gave her a last hard punch (she grunted) before rolling to the side.
" You're squishing my arm," Visser One pointed out, trying to move her right arm, which was still stuck under my back.
I rolled onto my side, turning to face Visser One. I gave her a meaningful glare.
" Good for me!" I said matter-of-factly.
She looked back at me then, and awkwardness settled in as I think we both suddenly realized we were a little too close for comfort. Her face was about five inches away from my own. And trust me, for Visser One and I, five inches is just too close. We were pretty much penetrating into each other's "bubble".
" Get. Away. From me." Visser One said through clinched teeth.
" Okay fine," I said. " I'll be glad to. But first, Visser One, can I ask you something?"
" Mm-hmm."
" Can we just pretend none of this ever happened?" I asked, feeling like I was releasing an enormous weight from my shoulders. " The HCF, and the dare – and even tonight. How about we just forget it and move on with our normal lives?"
Visser One smiled.
" Yeah, sure," she said. She sighed. " I was hoping we'd be able to make an agreement about that."
" Me too."
I sat up, releasing her arm. She pulled it away and sat next to me on the edge of the bed.
I could feel her gaze upon me. But I only really acknowledged it when she laid a hand on my arm. I turned to face her as she spoke.
" Thank you," she said. " You know… after all that… thanks for still treating me the same way."
I smirked. " Someone has to. Not everyone can drool over you you know, you need someone to keep your big head out of the clouds."
She laughed and smirked back at me before her expression softened.
" You know, as much as I hate you, sometimes you're really not such a bad guy."
" Well… thank you for that."
She smiled and leaned over to place a small kiss on my cheek. I felt myself melt.
" You're not so bad either." I decided to add. Then I smirked. " … Sometimes."
Then, without even realizing it at first, I moved closer, closer, until my lips brushed against hers. I don't even know why I did it. I guess it was because of the perfect harmony that existed between us at that one moment. A moment like this would probably never happen again. But, you know, as Alloran always says, you have to live in today.
It was so brief, but still as our lips separated I felt a tingling sensation that seemed to spread through my entire body. After that, with the unavoidable guilt of what had just occurred, beyond our control, settled in, we pulled down the sheets and got into my bed without another word.
But still, even though sleep wouldn't come as the lights went down, I didn't find it so strange to lay next to her that night.
---
Hours later, I was still unable to sleep. I realized that I could somewhat see all around the room, since the stars shone bright and the hall light was on.
I turned over on my side and looked at Visser One, who had gently fallen asleep next to me. I couldn't help but feel an incredibly tiny bit of affection for her just then. I don't know why. I guess she just looked so innocent, laying there without the trace of a frown on her face. Seeming so relaxed, so trusting... Cute, almost.
And yet, in reality, she's so brutally NOT innocent! No no. In reality, she is the devil. But at that moment, she wasn't... She meant no harm, just then. I don't know... it kind of made me happy, in a strange way.
There wasn't much room for my hindquarters since I'd let Visser One share my bed, so I had decided to stay human (And if you dapsens, who are illegally reading this by the way, think something's going to happen... Well, then... Um... Not this time. Oh wait! ... No, no, not this time. At least I don't think so... Geez, I'll have to look it up in Alloran's memories tomorrow or something, because I don't remember. Now stop glaring me down with a pitchfork in your hands). But seeing as my time was short, I demorphed and remorphed quickly. Now, I'm not going to do like those IDIOT Andalites who like to tell you EVERY SINGLE DETAIL of the morph they're doing... I get that a lot from Alloran, that fricking geek...
Anyhow, I set my alarm to wake me up an hour and a half later, so I wouldn't be trapped permanently in this human morph. Then, ignoring Visser One's undying presence, I fell asleep…
… And for the first time in close to a month, there wasn't the trace of a dream…
---
I woke up again at around four thirty (a.m. of course). I don't know why. I was just lost in my deep sleep, when suddenly, BOOM! My eyes opened! It's not Andalite technology, people…
I looked around and, surprisingly enough, I saw Visser One sitting on the edge of the bed.
… Yeeeeaaah… I guess I'm not the only one with sleeping problems… Who knows, maybe it's just a natural thing for we Vissers to have to put up with. Whatever.
Well, whichever the case, I could obviously no longer sleep… So, with one last exhausted groan, I rolled over onto my now-human side and turned on the sidelight.
Dim light shone into the room from a single bulb on my bedside. Then, throwing a casual glance at Visser One, I sat, also, on the edge of the bed.
… The other edge of the bed.
I looked over again, then turned away. Then, from the corner of my eye, I saw Visser One eye me curiously. When I glanced again, she had already found something fascinating to stare at in the opposite direction.
I turned away, wondering what fascinating object I was going to use… But before I could find that out, I looked back at Visser One. At the same moment, she looked over at me. Her gaze locked with mine for a split second before we both turned quickly away.
Then, for a moment, there was silence. I was wondering what I could say to hopefully relieve some tension over here! But, surprisingly, it was Visser One who finally broke the silence…
" Come over here, I need to talk to you." she said seriously.
I paused for a moment, frowning slightly.
Then, I collapsed onto the bed.
" … No, you come over here," I rectified.
" No way, Visser Dapsen!" she exclaimed. " You come over here!"
" No, you come here!"
" No, you come HERE!"
" Visser One… I am not going over there." I warned.
" Yes you are…" she warned back.
" NO, I'm…" I sighed, exasperated. " Look, would you just come here!"
" No, you come here!"
" No, you come here!"
I paused. She paused. We both remained silent, conflicting, for a moment. There was only silence for what seemed like forever...
" No, you come here!" Visser One said finally.
I didn't reply. I hated to let her win, but I also knew that I wouldn't… And besides, I was terribly exhausted… and curious to find out what she wanted to talk to me about…
" FINE!" I yelled.
I rolled over reluctantly to Visser One's side of the bed and sat down next to her. Once I got there, she looked at me and smirked.
I smirked back. " There. Happy now?"
" Very," she agreed.
" It's only because I'm tired and I want you to get this over with so I can go back to sleep." I said.
" Whatever you say, Visser," she laughed.
I looked at her again before shifting my gaze to the opposite wall.
" Okay, so what is it you wanted to tell me?" I asked finally.
I swear Visser One actually became a little red in the face.
" What?" I exclaimed snidely, surprised at her uncharacteristic behavior. " Okay, that's it! Who are you, and what did you do with Visser One?"
She laughed. Then, becoming serious again, she looked sideways at me and spoke.
" Thanks for letting me stay," she murmured.
I was so surprised I almost let my human mouth hang open. Actually, I did. But not as much as I could have…
Was Visser One actually thanking me for something? This was impossible! I sort of gave her a small sideways punch.
" Hey, come on now!" I exclaimed. " Don't get all emotional on me!"
I took her face in my hands and leveled her eyes with my own.
" Yeerk Empire to Visser One!" I teased. " Visser One, do you copy? Answer us! Oh no, we must get the medical staff ready, I think she's having an inner seizure!"
Visser One smirked, frowned and shoved me roughly away. I landed on my back on the bed, taking her down with me.
" Get your evil hands off me, you freak!" she exclaimed.
" Yeah right," I said. " If I go down, you're coming with me."
She punched me hard in the lower stomach. I grunted and grinned at her.
" Now that's more like it," I said.
Until my return,
Esplin 9466.
Aha. :P Writing that chapter was a blast.
Hope you liked!
Remember the deal we had? PLEASE REVIEW:P