A/N: Hey everyone! Well, as most of you already know, this is the last chapter of Visser Three's Diary. I'd like to thank all of you for reading this story, and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. This fic was so much fun to write and I'll never forget it, nor will I forget the many great reviews I've gotten. This story was a huge success because of one thing: You guys, and your huge support for it. Thanks a million:) Ember Nickel has pointed out some very interesting facts about this story. To see them, go to the Animorphs FanFic Lounge FFN Branch in FFN forums, and read the topic "V3D Talkback" more towards the bottom.
This last chapter is dedicated to Ember Nickel, Kharina, Concrete Angel, Edriss, MsTria, and to all readers and reviewers of this fic. Thanks Ember for your dedication of chapter 20 of "The Exalted Chronicles" to me, and for telling me all these things about my story that I didn't even know myself! The same goes to you, and I hope you enjoy the chapter. :20
Visser Three's Diary
By Sinister Shadow
Chapter 20: The Last Eleven Pages
August 4th
Entry twenty.
Dear Diary,
Yeeeaaahh… I am desperately running out of room in you, Diary. You should have come with more pages. In fact, if I count both sides of the paper… Wow, what do you know. You only have eleven pages left! Lords, what will I DO? What will be my secret favorite pass-time NOW? … Dude. I am seriously desperate. If only I wasn't such a soybean like Alloran. Then I could just go out and buy myself another diary without worrying about looking like a ginormous ninny!
Don't get me wrong, I would still look like a ginormous ninny. I just wouldn't have to WORRY about it.
Ahh well… I guess I'll just have to enjoy it while I can, you know? I mean, it's been fun. But all good things have to eventually come to an end. Why? I have no idea. Another stupid trick that the lords have played on us for kicks, no doubt. They are so sadistic!
This morning, pretty early – or at least it seemed pretty early to me – I was abruptly awoken by a hand repetitively shoving my shoulder.
" Like, Visser Three!" Take a wild guess.
( Whaaaat? ) I groaned. It is truly a sin to have to wake up this freaking early.
" Like, rise and shine, Visser," Ellie spat, pulling down the covers and leaving me freezing.
( Hey. You don't spit at me! ) I yelled angrily.
" Eeeew!" protested Ellie in a disgusted tone. " I don't, like, spit! Gross!"
( It's a figure of speech, you freak, ) I groaned again, struggling to get out of bed.
Apparently insulted, Ellie "hmmphed!" and trudged out of the room in posh pink high-heeled sandals. Wow. And I thought Visser One uselessly spent her –
Visser One!
( ELLIE! ) I practically screamed.
Ellie reared up, still snappishly angry, and freakishly tall thanks to the fricking towers she called shoes, and looked at me questioningly.
" Yes, Visser?" Good. At least she knew when to respect me. I wouldn't have put insubordination past her, that's for sure. I mean lords, have you heard those giggles? It's like a god damn iguana on oatmeal!
Anyway. Moving on.
( What time is it? ) I demanded.
She rolled her eyes and pulled her arm up to look at an equally posh watch. " I was going to tell you Visser, but then you like shooed me away!"
( Ellie. ) I said. If I'd had teeth they would have been clenched… ( Tell. Me. The damn. TIME. )
" It's like twelve thirty, Visser. Sooomeone sleeps in…" She giggled.
I darted out of bed, whacking her with the flat of my blade as I passed.
( THANKS FOR TELLING ME! ) I shrieked. ( Lords, someone isn't doing their DAY JOB! )
Ellie threw her hands in the air. " Like, Visser Three! I DID tell you --"
I slammed the door, blocking her out. No time to listen to her pitiful excuses for failure. She was always cutting into my train of thought! How oh HOW did I get stuck with HER for an intern? I bet you ten Yeerk coins Councilor Eight is in charge of the interment… uhh… ship. Lords, do I have trouble with that one. I mean, they will both amount to the same thing awfully soon if Ellie doesn't shut her trap.
" Good day, Visser Three." An extremely loud, nasal voice rose up from behind me. I turned around and was suddenly faced with the single most annoying Yeerk ever, Mr. Loud-And-Nasal. Well, at least that's what Visser One and I called him between us. If either of us actually called him that in public… let's just say we'd soon be joining Ellie in her internment.
I nodded curtly, trying extremely hard not to roll my eyes. ( Hello, Councilor Three. )
" How goes it?"
( What? )
" How? Goes it?" he repeated. " You know, the day. How goes the day?"
I just stared. ( Uhh… Not… bad? ) I said, completely weirded out. Luckily, I regained my composure soon enough. ( And you? )
" Just peachy," he beamed nasally. If it is even possible to beam nasally.
( Great, ) I tried to sound genuine, and failed.
" Well… see you where the dusk meets the forlash."
( See you… wait… what? )
" Where the dusk meets the forlash!" he smiled, walking away and waving. " … See you around, Visser Three."
( Yeah. See you around. )
I waited until he had walked a good distance ahead of me, then walked the few steps to Visser One's room, next door. I rang the doorbell and waited… waited…
I rang again.
No answer.
Shit. Shit shit shit!
I slammed my fist against the smooth metal of the door. She'd said one o'clock! She could not have been gone already! It was impossible! I just stood there for a moment like a total idiot, then decided to do something a bit more productive with my life. I walked. Toward… toward? I didn't know where I was going. Would I never know where I was going?
… I guess I'd never know.
( Visser One! ) I yelled in frustration. She wasn't gone. She was not gone…
" Visser Three, what do you want?" With a huge, inexplicable relief, I heard her frustrated, annoyed voice. Where it was coming from, I didn't know. Nor did I care.
It took a couple more minutes for her to show. But when her door slid open and left her standing in the doorway, clad only in a bathrobe and soaking wet, shampooed hair, I almost burst out laughing. She gave me an angry, meaningful glare, and I rolled my eyes.
( Just think! ) I said, smirking. ( This is the last time I disturb you while you're taking your shower for hopefully a very, very long time. )
" And thank the lords for that!" Visser One sighed, exasperated.
( And thank the lords for that, ) I echoed.
After that, we said nothing for a long while… We just stood there, looking at each other, and then at nothing at all, for what seemed like an eternity. But when it was done, it seemed then like just a moment in time.
( So. You're leaving, ) I said casually.
" In a half hour," she added just as casually.
I smirked again. ( Good riddance. )
" Good riddance," she nodded and smirked back.
Then, right out here in the hallway, my smirk softened to a smile. Yet another thing the Andalite bandits do not assume me to be capable of, though it is a completely natural function… Those retards… Visser One smiled back brightly and I stepped forward to lace my arms around her in a last parting hug.
" You know," she said as we held on to each other, " as much as I hate you, as much as I consider you my worst, most despised enemy… I'm going to miss you, back home. I'm going to miss arguing with you. You might think I have more than enough company… but the truth is that without you, I'd get awful lonely in this hard world of ours."
She tightened her grip on my shoulders for a moment before letting go. I held on to her for a moment longer.
( What am I going to do now, huh? ) I exclaimed, probably more serious than she thought I was. ( You're leaving me here with Mr. Loud-And-Nasal! )
She laughed. I laughed as well.
" I couldn't do this when I leave, of course. People would see…" she smirked. " But you know, I felt I had to say goodbye, at least, before I left."
( Me too, ) I admitted.
She stepped up to me then, in her fancy silk bathrobe. " So, since I'm leaving, and we will not be seeing each other for a while…" she held out her hand. " … Peace?"
I brought my own hand forward to take it… But at the last split second, we both pulled back. I smirked. She stuck out her tongue at me.
( Yeah right! ) I exclaimed. ( Peace with you? Gross. )
" As if!" she whole-heartedly agreed.
Then, she stepped back into her room and cast a long, last look at me.
" Goodbye, Visser Three," she said.
( Goodbye, Visser One. ) I echoed.
The door slid closed then, and for the last time, we both went our separate ways.
---
I wasn't there for Visser One's actual departure. Of course not, can you blame me? I mean, I'd already parted with her a while ago. Who wants to do it again?
You better believe I heard a lot about it, though. A lot of people had assembled to say their farewells. Many were even surprised I hadn't shown… My neutral response to them all was, "She's my worst enemy. I'm glad she's gone."
I heard a lot of things, and from a lot of different people. Councilor Four told me later that Councilor Eight had almost cried (yes, cried, the big sissy…) in those last moments. His eyes had been red and watery and everything as he'd held Visser One in an embrace worth a thousand embraces (Mr. Poetry-And-Prose here's words, not mine). I liked to think of Councilor Eight breaking apart, drowning in his own sorrow and locking himself in his room forever more. At least there no one else would have to put up with him.
It would be at least two months yet before Councilor Eight could get the transition papers to rejoin his beloved mate on the Yeerk home world. But hey, that's a Councilor's life (I vaguely remembered the poem I'd written once… God I'm stupid) for you: Harsh, cold and uncalled for. Or at least that's what Councilor Four tells me it's like. You know, the more I think about it, the more I realize that maybe I don't even want to be a Councilor anymore. Maybe I'm happy just being a Visser, like Visser One is. I mean, maybe a Councilor's life isn't all it's cut out to be.
… Naah…
I mean, come on! How stupid would you have to be to not want a seat in the Council? Ahem. Visser One.
Anyway, after hanging with Councilor Four for a while, and talking to loads of different people asking me what my problem was (all in a day's work for me, people), I decided I was awfully tired and started the long walk back to my room. On the way back, I met Visser Four. We stopped to talk for a while, even though I hated his guts and he hated mine. I won't even bother putting the conversation down on paper. You pretty much know a conversation is pointless when it ends with "You're a stupid dong."
When I finally got back to my room, it was, amazingly, four thirty. I had stopped by Visser One's room and pounded on her door like a madman, like I usually do to piss her off. Only a few moments later did I realize that she would not answer. For the Emperor's sake, she had only been gone for three hours and already I missed her like crazy. What was I going to do with my time now? And especially now, with the VERY UNFORTUNATE end of space in my diary near?
I would lose my mind. I would have absolutely no company! No company at all! … Well… except for Ellie… and Iniss… But I mean relevant company! And especially without this diary to keep me company… I felt like I was losing two very important things in my life way too quickly. Which I was. Visser One was gone, and my diary would be gone, most probably both in the same day! Oh, what would I DO?
… Well, to tell you the honest truth, there wasn't much I could do. Yes people, the all-powerful Visser Three is completely out of ideas. I know it's a sin. Live with it. As mighty and strong as I am, even I can't make extra pages appear out of thin air. Sorry.
There was a repetitive, IRRITATING knock on my door. I reluctantly got up from my soft bed to open it before the god awful sound busted what was left of my eardrums. Damn people who forget doorbells exist… I grumbled interiorly to myself as I strutted out of my room, then across the main chamber, and finally into the small entryway. I slammed my angered fist onto the button, and the door slid open… revealing a teary-eyed Iniss standing in the doorframe, holding a pink box of kleenex in his hand.
As if on cue, he pulled out a kleenex and noisily blew his nose.
( Iniss. ) I said, already annoyed at the thought of having to spend who knows how long with only him for company. ( What the hell is wrong with you now? )
As if I couldn't guess.
" V-V-Visser One is GONE!" he yelled, wracked with sobs that could shatter a toaster.
( I know that, Iniss, ) I said. ( And guess what? I don't care! )
I tried to close the door in his face and leave him outside to fend for his pitiful self, but before I even got the chance, he ran into my room and flopped down sadly on my sofa.
" Oh, Visser…" he sobbed. " What are we going to do now? What are we going to do without Visser One?"
I was shocked. Iniss, of all people, had just said exactly what I was feeling.
" The WORLD is OVER!" he sobbed harder.
Okay… maybe not that part.
( Look, Iniss. ) I said, stepping up to him. ( She's gone. And there is nothing you can do about it! You miss her now, but eventually you won't think about it so much. Just don't think about it. ) I didn't know who I was trying to convince. Him, or myself?
Iniss smiled through his tears. " Thanks, Visser! You're so deep. You're my hero!"
Oh, boy… Not the freaking "hero" thing again… I frowned.
( I am not your hero! ) I exclaimed. ( Visser One is gone, you're sad, and I told you stuff to get you to stop bawling like an Andalite bandit. Just don't think about her! And most importantly, don't come crying to me about it! Visser One is never going to love you anyway. She is Visser One. You are a low-rank. Get. OVER. IT. )
Iniss stopped crying. Amazingly enough. Then, as I held my breath… his face contorted into a grimace… and there he went again. Oh goody.
" WHY must you always KILL me from the inside?" Oh, wonderful. There he goes again with his assortment of "quotatious thoughts".
( I'm just telling you the truth, ) I said lamely. I didn't have the time, nor the energy, for voluptuous comebacks. ( Now get out of my room. )
" Why?" Iniss inquired shakily.
( Well, number one… ) I said, ( … the Council of Thirteen has announced that the Visser-Council reunions are over, and you have to go back to your room and pack up to return to the Blade ship. )
" Oh no… Not the Blade shit…" Iniss muttered.
I gave him a wide-eyed, threatening glare. ( WHAT was that? )
Iniss got up quickly, fearful. " N-Nothing Visser!" he squeaked.
Avoiding my angry gaze, Iniss ran out of the room and shut the door, leaving his voluminous pink box of kleenex behind.
Burn in hell! I thought to myself as I walked back to my room. No one calls my ship the "Blade shit"! You can just drown in your god damn tears!
I walked into my room and closed the door softly (I would no doubt have slammed it, but my poor ears were in such a state, I figured they'd DIE I did). I walked over to my bed and closed my eyes… then opened them again. And then, for the first time, I noticed the folded piece of paper on my nightstand.
What was it? Who was it from? I had no answer to either question. But I was curious… So I leaned over, reached for my nightstand and (quite painfully) grabbed the folded paper. Opening it hastily, I found the note below, written in an exquisite handwriting and a touch of familiar hate…
Visser Three,
I don't know what time you're going to wake up, but I decided to leave you this note in case it's too late when you do. As you know, I am leaving for the Yeerk home world today. I don't know how much I'm going to have to do there, and how busy I'll be, and how many battles I'll have to fight… but I do know one thing: You are an incompetent retard, and without me to lead you along, you'll never get even a step closer to invading planet Earth… You and your stupid subordinates, and of course your little Blade shit, will lose the planet for sure! So I figured… As much as it pains me to do so… I'll have to come back eventually. It should only be a couple years, at the most. Lords know I can't leave you alone with that planet for too long...
I have no way of knowing exactly when we'll see each other again. So here are my few parting words to you. Despite my hatred and annoyance of your every word and action, I find I am missing you already. I know it sounds stupid, but I have no idea what kind of company I'll have over there, and I'm sure going to miss your familiarity. I hate your guts, but that's why I love spending time with you. Arguing's a passion, and I know you think the same thing. It's so obvious you are going to lose your mind alone in that ship with only your annoying personal assistant and your giggling intern, it isn't even funny. Oh wait. Yes, it is. I am laughing my head off, anyway.
So I suppose this is farewell. For now. I know we will be seeing each other again, and though that is a very unfortunate thing, I realize that it's also for the best. Goodbye, Visser Three. I hope you don't get too lonely over there without me… As much as I hate to admit it, I'm sure going to miss the good old days.
Your arch-enemy,
Visser One
P.S. – Oh, by the way… thought you should know something: I know you have a diary. You of all people. Who would have thought?
I crumpled the note angrily. She KNEW I had a diary? Why, the little dapsen! Lords… Now I'm going to have to walk around with a paper bag on my head because she knows. Why her? Why did my fricking worst enemy have to find out? Her, of all people?
But then I thought, what does it matter, anyway? It took two whole pages to stick that note in my diary (damn Visser One and her huge eight-by-eleven paper…). That leaves me with a little less than two pages left in this diary. After that, I won't even have a diary. Even now, I keep on wondering what on the Yeerk home world I'll do once I'm finished with it. What? Could you tell me?
Well, I guess that for this once, I'll follow my own advice. And not think about it.
What good will it do me to think about it anyway? There was never a need to wallow in self-pity, and there certainly isn't one now. All I have to do is find something else to keep me occupied during these long years… I still have Iniss to tease. And Ellie. And of course, I still have my good friend Councilor Four. Really, it isn't as bad as I thought it was. Already I'm starting to block the thought of finishing my diary.
Already, I think less about it. And I'm finally starting to look on the bright side.
I mean who knows? Maybe my Yeerk who is pretending to be my grandmother will once again be a nice little dapsen and offer me another diary.
… Next year.
All I know is all I can think about right now, as I approach the last lines of the little book I've held so dear during the past month or so (well gee, it's the only thing that has allowed me to keep my sanity all this time!), is Visser One's and my last argument before she left. I know, it's stupid to think about her now, as I won't be seeing her for who knows how long… but still. I can't stop thinking about it. Those last moments we'd spent in perfect normalcy…
After fighting for another long while, we'd both gotten very tired. Too tired to fight, too tired even to say another word. Out of breath and energy, we'd both fallen on our backs onto the rough, carpeted floor, only mere feet from each other. We had turned to opposite directions and stared at opposite walls, fuming and frowning and hating.
Then, we'd looked at each other and smiled.
" Good night, Visser Three," Visser One said joyfully.
( Good night, Visser One. ) I grinned my Andalite grin.
And we had both fallen asleep on the floor just like that, with my room a bigger wreck than it ever had been.
I'm going to miss the good old days.
Well, that's it. :) I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope you enjoyed this fic. It was so much fun to write and I want to once again thank everyone for the enormous amount of support you've all given this story.
See you all later!
And for the last time (literally), PLEASE REVIEW:D
(Side note: If you put this chapter on MS Word in bolded font 11, Times New Roman, it will be nine pages long. I know it says Eleven Pages on the title, but it's nine because Visser Three used two pages to stick Visser One's note on. His words themselves are only nine. :))