The scene is the boy's classroom; Cartman has finished telling the class he is moving, half the class including Mrs. Garrison.
" Well class, to celebrate are fat young classmate leaving are sights forever we're going to do a report." Mrs. Garrison said
" AWWW!" the class said in unison
" Shut your GOD DAMN little mouths its going to be an easy ass report! Whew, okay you must do a report on your best friend, or if you are a sorry ass loser and don't have a best friend the just do it on one of your friends."
" Whew."
" Well since your leaving Eric, you can pick first. Who's it going be? Stan, Kyle, or Kenny?"
" I pick Kenny." Cartman said answering real fast
" Really Eric?" Kenny said sounding surprised Cartman answered real fast
" Whew." Kyle and Stan said in unison
" Yeah, Stan and Kyle are dumb asses, Kenny's my best friend." Cartman said
" Wow, thanks Eric." Kenny said sounding touched
" Yeah, your so poor Kenny this will be the easiest A I ever got. Ha ha ha."
" Screw you Cartman!" Kenny said in retaliation
The scene is Cartman's house, him and Kenny are working on their report.
" Okay we have to recall past experiences. Past experiences; oh how about… uh no, well what about… no. Damn it Kenny help me." Cartman said agitated
" Hold on fat ass, you're the one who told me to go get snacks." Kenny said struggling with is heavy load
" We need to write about past experiences. Hmmm"
" What about the time we found the brown noise?"
" Oh yeah, remember we got everyone to play it and the world went into mass chaos because everyone was taking a dump."
" Ha ha ha ha ha." the boys laughed in unison
" Man this stuff writes itself." Cartman said writing down the memory they shared
" Oh remember when we…"
The scene flashbacks to the Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny in front of the bus stop…
" Hey you guys check out my new pet." Kenny said
" Your too poor to have pets." Cartman said
"Shut up you fat turd!"
" I'm sorry, I didn't know we can count imaginary pets, here's mine, Spiffy. He's a t-rex from the Jurassic period."
" Oh lay off Cartman. Where's your pet Kenny?" said Stan
" In here (Kenny pulls out a shoe box) he's in here, its a little frog I call Hoppy." said Kenny
" That's a pretty lame assname Kenny." said Kyle
" Well I though it was a good name, he always so lively.
Kenny opens the box to reveal a dead frog. The boys looked puzzled.
" It looks dead Kenny." Stan said bluntly
" Hoppy!" Kenny said in horror
" Oh yeah he's real lively." Cartman said sarcastically
Kenny starts crying, " He was my only pet." Kenny holds his hands up to cover his eyes as Cartman walks over to him and puts his hand on his shoulder.
" Don't feel bad Kenny, its not your fault your poor. Besides I think I have an idea to cheer you up and make use of this… whatever the hell you want to call it." said Cartman holding up the dried up frog.
The scene changes to the boy's classroom and Mrs. Garrison is bitching about something. She tires herself (himself whatever the hell you want to call it) and gets a glass of water not seeing what appears to be a dead frog in the glass. The whole class giggles, Mrs. Garrison looks at the glass, sees the frog, screams then faints on the floor, the class is in hysteria.
The scene then turns back to Cartman and Kenny on the floor laughing.
" Ha hah ha hah ah!" the two laugh in unison
" The look on her face ha hah aha." Cartman said gasping for breath while still laughing
" Oh man… ha hah ah… she was so pissed." said Kenny
" We got suspended for two days but man was it worth it."
" Yeah I know" Kenny remembered how much better he felt about Hoppy's death after Cartman's prank, even though he really didn't do the prank himself he didn't mind getting punished with Cartman, the two just went to the movies and snuck into different showings. Those two days suspension actually made him forget about Hoppy, even if he didn't mean to, Cartman made him feel better.
" That was so funny, but that bitch deserved it for calling me a fat f and you a ghetto boy, only I can call you that."
" Yeah but we better not put this in the report."
" Why not, I'm moving soon, and if you get suspended again it's another free day for you."
Cartman was right, his mom let him do whatever he wants, and both his parents had to work so they couldn't keep and eye on him.
" You know Ken, I never told you this but you are…I can't believe I'm going to say this (Cartman said under his breath)…you are my best friend."
Cartman couldn't understand why he felt he need to say this to him, all this talk about memories made him feel like he had to say it.
" Wow thanks Eric, you're my best friend too."
Cartman quickly grabbed Kenny's parka and held a fist to his face.
" If you tell anyone I said that I swear to god I'll fuc!in kill you!"
Cartman wasn't about to let everyone find out and call him a pussy.
" Alright Cartman, I won't tell anyone…except Stan and Kyle ha ha." Kenny ran off
" What no Kenny…(chasing Kenny) no you stupid son of a bitch…stop." Catman yelled as he tried to keep up with Kenny
" You're going to have to catch me first."
Kenny wasn't going to tell but it was still fun to mess with him.