The scene is the boy's school. The bys are sitting down in their seats when Mrs. Garrison comes in.
" Okay class, has everyone gotten half way through with their project? Lets see a show of hands." asked Mrs. Garrison
No of the kids raise their hands.
" Why you little pieces of sh!t. That report better be done before Eric leaves or you all will have to write a ten page essay on why you can't write a report."
" Hey Cartman when are you moving?" asked Stan
" This Friday." stated Cartman
" Friday…" said Kenny sounding worried
" What's wrong Ken?"
" Nothing Eric."
" Hey guys guess what." said Kyle
" What Jew?" said Cartman
" I got the okay from Cartman's mom and am throwing a huge go away party in front of Cartman's house. It's going to have booths, food, Ferris Wheel, and some famous guy come sing."
" Kyle, how did you afford that?" asked Stan annoyed with his friend's actions
" I just told everyone it was for a party to send Cartman away and they all donated money. A lot of money."
" Why those mother fuc!in bastards." yelled Cartman
The bell rings and the boys prepare to go to lunch.
" Looks like everyone can't wait to see you leave Cartman."
" Not everyone Kyle." whispered Kenny
" What Kenny?" said Stan
" Oh nothing."
The boys are in line for lunch, in the background Craig and Clyde are fighting for an unknown reason.
" Hey Chef." The boys say together
" Hello children." says Chef, " How things been going?"
" Great!" said Kyle
" Awesome!" said Cartman
" Okay." said Stan
" Awful." said Kenny
" Why all those things children?" said chef confused wondering what he missed
" Cartmans moving." stated a happy Kyle
" Oh that's too bad, we'll miss you Eric." said Chef sounding sympathetic
" I won't!"
" I'll miss you too Chef, you were the only black guy I ever liked." said Cartman
" Thanks Eric… I think?" said Chef
" So what's on the menu today chef?"
" Mashed potatoes and fried chicken smothered in gravy."
" HMMM…" the boys said together
The boy's stomachs growled as one by one Chef put their serving on their trays, and then he came to Kenny's tray.
" Well Kenny do you want gravy?" asked Chef
" No thanks, I'm not hungry." Kenny replied
Everyone looked in disbelief of Kenny's statement. Kenny was the only one of the boys that could eat as much as Cartman, due to the fact he was poor he eat whenever he could, he eat just about anything.
" You feeling okay Kenny?" said Stan sounding concerned
" Yeah."
Cartman walked up to him, took off his glove and put the back of his hand to Kenny's forehead.
" No he doesn't have a fever." said Cartman
" Check to see if he's breathing properly." said Kyle
" It might be a stomach bug." suggested Stan
" Kenny do you need to go to the nurse?" asked Cartman
" Did you get the flu shot Kenny, its flu season you know?" said Chef
" Kenny's family is too poor to get the flu shot, his family a natural disaster."
" Kenny's family isn't that poor Cartman." said Stan
" Please… They're doing so bad, the people of New Orleans are sending them money."
" CARTMAN! That was fuc!in terrible!" yelled Kyle
" Yeah Cartman. How can you be so insensitive to the people of New Orleans?" said Stan
" I'm not I feel really bad for them, I blame the god damn hippies." said Cartman
" What do hippies have to do with… over never mind." said Kyle frustrated
Kenny wasn't paying to the argument going on. He was still thinking about Friday, tomorrow.
" I wasn't even making fun of them, I was making fun of Kenny." said Cartman
" Well you shouldn't use them in jokes." said Kyle
" What about the person on the radio saying it was their fault."
" Okay enough children. Eric don't make fun of New Orleans, those poor people, and in regards to those people on the radio, those heartless bastards can go fudge themselves. Now Kenny, do you want to talk about what's bothering you." said Chef
" Not…(looks at his friends) here." said Kenny
" Okay we can talk after school, now you kids go sit down and eat, lunch is almost over."
School bell rings, the kids rush out, the scene is Kenny walking up to Chefs house and he rings the doorbell.
" Oh hello Kenny, come in. (Kenny comes in and sit on the couch) so what's been bothering you?" said Chef
" Well, I'm sad." said Kenny
" Why sad?"
" Cartm…Eric is leaving."
" Oh you're going to miss your little friend."
" Yeah, but it's Eric, I don't understand why I feel bad about losing him."
" He's your best friend, of course you'll miss him."
" Yeah but he always acts like a dick all the time."
" You can still be close friends with a jerk, even if it is Eric, he has been best friend since you started pre-school."
" Yeah I guess that's true."
" It's okay that you care about him, a good friend cares about his friends."
" So what should I do?"
" Well one of the things you can do is tell Eric how you feel and have a nice heartwarming goodbye with him."
" He'll call me a pussy."
" Probably, but you'll hate yourself if you don't tell him that he actually means something to you."
" Yeah I guess."
" It's just like a love hate relationship."
" Love hate relationship?"
" Yeah."
( Singing) I may hate you women, but I'm still going to make LOVE to you
Kenny looks on confused
( Singing) I may hate you woman, but we can still make LOVE down by the fire
Kenny didn't always get Chef's songs, but he didn't mind if they included sex, he'd much rather hear about it and make up the images in his mind instead of reading and looking at it in his dad's play boys.