Hey friends, please be aware, it is going to feel like we're sprinkling in some spice, but we're not. Any action will be described loosely.

The drive through the Alaska Mountain Range was reminiscent of many drives Edward and I took together through the Olympic Mountains. Sharp turns at high speeds. Teeth quaking as I shook in my seat. Edward's hand on the wheel, the other held protectively in front of me.

"Close your eyes," he requested.

I didn't. I wished I had. The Jeep barreled down a road too tight for any car, let alone this massive vehicle. As Edward took the sharp turn, it felt like two of the wheels had lifted off the ground. Suddenly, the ground far below became a threat. My toes curled in my boots and my fingers gripped the seat. He lay on the horn. He later explained that it was to alert other vehicles that we were turning, so there would be no collisions. At the time, it only served to add horror to the already horrifying ascent up the mountains.

At the fifth turn, the fifth time I felt my stomach drop, the fifth vision I had of the Jeep tumbling down the mountainside, I finally closed my eyes. It brought little relief. My head still spun, my stomach still flipped. Long, soothing breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth were often interrupted by horrified gasps when I could have sworn the Jeep was airborne.

Eventually, the vehicle came to a slow, careful stop.

"We're at the house, my love."

Tentatively, I opened my eyes. Sure enough, we were at a standstill in front of a massive structure.

Edward was already out and around the Jeep, unbuckling the straps that held me in place. He held out his hand so I could climb out of the ridiculously large vehicle. When I made no indication of movement, he gave up on the more gentlemanly way of helping me and secured his hands around my waist, lifting me out of the Jeep as effortlessly as if he were plucking a feather off the ground. He kept his hands there as even after my feet touched the ground. For once, I was grateful for his caution because the joints in my knees were stiff and sore from the travel. I closed my eyes again because I was dizzy, and because it was all too much.

The house was too much.

Huge, built solely of logs and timber with elaborate balconies and the Cullen penchant for floor-to-ceiling windows. It was overwhelming. For months, I had the mental picture of a rustic, quaint cabin nestled in the circle of evergreens.

I understood how ridiculous that was.

My vampires never did rustic or quaint.

The thought made me smile, even as the external spinning sensation continued to make me feel green.

Edward scooped me up and into his arms before I had the chance to collapse.

"I knew I took the drive up here too quickly," he scolded himself. "I'm sorry, Love. I never had anything so delicate in my care on the way up to this house before."

I ignored the bit about my human frailties and addressed the real issue in that statement. "A house? This is not a house."

"Okay, it's technically a Ski Chalet," Edward corrected himself as my head settled in the perfect crook between his jaw and shoulder. "Or, it was back in the fifties before Esme got her hands on it."

The house, Chalet, was even more beautiful inside. A gorgeous, grand staircase swept up out of the great room stuffed with big comfortable-looking couches and chairs that seemed as if they would swallow a person whole. Light spilled in from every angle, showing gleaming hardwood floors sporadically detailed in intricate inlays. Esme truly outdid herself.

The first thing Edward did after placing me on the sofa was to start a fire in the central fireplace. I balked, awestruck at the massive structure built entirely out of stone, accented with antique tile. A book was placed in my hand, then a cool kiss on my cheek. In another blink, a fuzzy blanket was draped over my legs and a ginger ale sat on a small coaster on the coffee table before me.

Vampire service was always impeccable.

Too tired from the drive to feel lazy for not helping, I read my book as Edward checked the house. I had no idea why he thought he needed to check on anything done by Esme, but I kept the thought to myself. Edward liked to feel useful. Six chapters into the book, I was beginning to doze off. Some undiscernible amount of time later, I awoke to the smell of fried chicken.

"Don't get up," Edward's ghostly voice requested the second I attempted to move.

"I need to stretch my legs," I complained.

I followed the smell and his voice to the kitchen, which was almost an exact replica of the Cullen's kitchen back home. Chicken fingers were cooling on a plate of paper towels and Edward was stirring a pot of mac and cheese on the stove.

I laughed. "Is there a toddler living in the house that I don't know of?"

"I asked Renee what your favorite meal was growing up, and this is what she said."

I poked the chicken as it cooled. Renee would have never deep-fried the chicken fingers nor made mac and cheese from scratch. The chicken would come frozen, and the mac and cheese would come out of a box. I supposed Edward wouldn't know there was a difference. Also, my favorite meal as a child was definitely the chocolate chip waffles from a diner in Pheonix. However, this was the easiest meal to make and the cheapest to get. This was most likely the meal we had most often, which Renee misremembered as my favorite.

Edward continued speaking, "I already made your current favorite meal. I thought it would be nice to take a trip down memory lane before…"

"Before you can't eat anymore," was the end of the sentence Edward was too afraid to say. To comfort him, I rubbed small circles on his lower back with my fist.

"I think smashed banana was my favorite meal as a baby. Are you going to make that too?" I teased.

He nodded his head towards a bowl of fruit that did contain bananas. "I'm nothing but thorough."

I sat at the counter and let Edward prepare me a plate of every child's dream meal. After dinner, he handed me a chocolate pudding cup with a dollop of whipped cream that was larger than the pudding cup itself. Again, not my actual favorite. It was the dessert Renee and I had most often because it was cheap and easy. I enjoyed it nonetheless.

After Edward finished cleaning the kitchen, he wrapped me up in blankets so we could snuggle by the fire. He put on an old movie, expecting me to fall asleep or ask to be turned. When I did neither, he put on another. I decided after his sweetness, he deserved another day with my humanity.

To his pleasure, I fell asleep during the second movie, nestled in the crook of his arm.

The next day, I let him coddle me to his heart's content. Without a fuss or even a sarcastic comment. It was the last day for Edward to enjoy me as he found me. To have and to hold the awkward, clumsy human who miraculously captured his heart after one hundred years of waiting. To make me blush with a whisper in my ear. To hear my heart sputter with the gentlest touch.

We lay in the king-sized bed, watching the snow fall outside of the grand floor-to-ceiling window. Edward enjoyed my humanness while I enjoyed Edward's first attempt at banana chocolate chip waffles—the real purpose of the bananas.

Exactly thirty minutes after I ate, Edward revealed there was an indoor pool at the Chalet and asked if I would like to go for a swim, promising warm water and no splashing. I agreed, and both Edward's promises were met. The water was warm, and he didn't splash. I, however, made no such promises. Every time he leaned in to kiss me, I sprayed water into his face. He never learned his lesson.

We spent our entire afternoon swimming. Edward had a vampire panic attack when he realized he'd forgotten to feed me lunch, which resulted in piles of salty snacks. Any snack he had seen me eat even once was set out on the counter. Chips, popcorn, cheese curls. I didn't scold him for his extravagance as I should have. It was Edward's day. Besides, I knew anything I didn't eat would be offered to whatever soup kitchen was nearby. With that in mind, I grabbed the white cheddar popcorn and left the rest untouched.

As we lounged in the living room, preparing for another soft evening with each other, we felt it coming. It loomed over the room like a shadow, counted the seconds by like an eerie grandfather clock. Though one of his favorite movies played on the TV, Edward stared out in the window, unblinking. I wondered if he watched the movie, at all.

"Should we go up to the bedroom?" I asked, a soft beginning to the transition. In his stillness, he looked so much like a beautiful, marble statue I was hesitant to touch his cheek. Like I would be thrown out of the museum for touching the masterpiece.

"In a few more minutes." I let him pull me into his lap. I knew he was scared, and how hard he worked to not show how scared he was.

I promised to be brave while he was frightened. So, I didn't allow my voice to shake as I asked, "Would it be easier for you if death was my only other option?"

Edward deeply inhaled the scent from my hair. He hated talking about my transition, despite its inevitability.

"No," he said, absolutely, which surprised me. I assumed it would have been an easier act if vampirism was his only way to keep me. "It's better for your transition to be as peaceful as possible. The sharpest memories we retain are those of our transition. Not just the fire, but also… dying. I can remember the sickness that destroyed my body so vividly, my chest will chest contract as if it finds it difficult to breathe." As an example, he took a deep, shaky breath that concluded with a desperate gasp. "Esme can recall the sharp pain where her back broke, Emmett's chest will sting from deep claw marks. I never want you to know how it feels to die."

I already had. In the ballet studio, when the drifting waters threatened to take me. I didn't remind Edward and risk sending him into a new frenzy. The memories of the ballet studio were ones I was happy to be rid of, particularly dying. I could hardly remember it now, and it would become more difficult to remember after my transition.

"It's going to be alright, Edward." It had to be alright. It was what we both suffered for. It was what we caused so much suffering for.

He nuzzled his nose deeper into my hair. "I know. We're going to be together. Just as we've always wanted."

I smiled, thrilled with the changes in his outlook. He finally saw what I saw when I looked towards the future. Not the end of my human life, but the beginning of our life together. It took him a long time, and he made many, many mistakes before getting there, but he arrived.

"You'll remind me of our relationship, right?"

"Of course. I'll tell you the story every night." A cool kiss pressed into my ear.

"Will you try to hide how mean you were to me the first day we met?"

He laughed lightly against my skin. "No. I'll even include all the ways I planned to kill you in my retelling."

I hummed. A soft sound, deep in my throat. "How romantic."

"I'll include all the mistakes I made." His voice dipped down to the low point that it often did before he retreated into himself in introspection.

Not having any talk of last September on our final night as an interspecies couple, I pulled him back before he could drift away. I twisted on his lap, so his face was no longer hidden in my hair, but instead pressed into my cheek. I gave his nose a tiny kiss. "Including the time your feet broke through the floorboards in Esme's living room the first time I surprised you with a kiss like that?"

A genuine smile spread across his face. "No. I'll be sure to leave that out."

I reached to either side of him, gripping his hips with my hands. "What about the first time I slipped my hand into your back pocket? You took the handle off the door to the diner and shattered the glass."

He scrunched his face in embarrassment. "That will absolutely fade into your forgotten memories."

I shook with laughter. "And Charlie was the officer to write you up for destruction of property!"

He groaned.

I inched my hands back around, up his ribs, fluttering my fingertip though he could not be tickled. I pressed both hands into his pecks. "What about the time at the river?"

He placed one, large hand over his eyes to hide his shame. "No. It's nothing short of a miracle that Alice didn't see that one happen and tell my siblings about it. If you forget about it, the better the chance no one will ever know."

I kissed each of his fingers and then his lips before I scooted off his lap and off the couch. He pretended to try and stop me with a few tickles of his own, but ultimately let me slip away. He lounged back on the couch and watched me trot over to an ornate, antique secretary centered on the back wall of the room. "What are you doing?"

Through tiny, hand-carved drawers that felt too delicate for my clumsy hands, I searched for a pen and paper. "I'm going have to write that story down if you aren't going to share."

"I'll burn it."

"I'll hide it."

"I'll find it."

"I'll tell Alice about it, and she'll tell me."

Edward conceded. "Fine."

I giggled. When I finally found the pen and a notecard, I wove them in the air triumphantly. Edward mockingly applauded. I didn't actually write the story down. I scribbled a few hearts and other doodles onto the notecard and folded it up into my back pocket. It would keep him on his toes for a while until he eventually figured it out.

We shared a few lingering dregs of laughter before we lapsed back into silence. We might have pushed back the inevitable for a few more moments, but the timer ticking down could not be ignored forever.

"I think it's time, Edward."

He squeezed his eyes shut. "I know." When he reopened his eyes, they immediately found mine.

He rose from the couch, holding his hand out for mine in a very human gesture. I took it, squeezing his fingers, realizing his hands would no longer feel so cold, then pressed it against my cheek. We walked up the steps at a slow, human pace. Edward only needed to catch and steady me once during our long ascent. Edward adored my two left feet, claiming to be charmed with my clumsiness, but I was more than ready to finally acquire a right foot.

Up in the bedroom, we stopped under the skylight Edward had once described to me and looked up. He promised I would be turned under the stars.

"You're ready?"

I may have tripped over my final hurdle—leaving my human life behind—but crawling away on hands and knees still counted as moving forward. "I'm ready."

Above, fat, lazy snowflakes fell silently onto the glass. I watched them, enchanted, then turned my attention to the floor-to-ceiling window at the literal wonderland stretched out around us, infinitely. The trees and ground and everything in between were draped in endless pristine white. I used to abhor snow, but now I could see the beauty I failed to see before. A blank canvas waiting to be painted with new and lush landscapes of future possibilities. It was rest and peace harboring a new birth.

It was the perfect place for me to restart my life. I was ready to paint my canvas with love, family, and a little bit of blood.

Placing a soft, lingering kiss onto my shoulder, Edward lifted me up into his arms only to immediately place me in the center of the bed.

"Why don't you start a fire?" I suggested, sensing his hesitation.

He loved to do things for me, particularly preserving my warmth. "Okay," he agreed, touching my cheek briefly. The fireplace in the bedroom wasn't as grand as the one downstairs, but it was just as enchanting.

While Edward's back was to me, I removed my clothing. He turned around to see me bare, illuminated solely by the flickering fire and twinkling stars from the skylight overhead. I received the reaction I hoped to get. There was no reason for Edward to look at me the way he did—like I was dazzling beauty in the room and not him. Yet, I was forever grateful for that look.

"You… are…" He shook his head, at a loss for words. It was an honor to be indescribable to a creature who experienced everything the world had to offer.

I lifted to my knees as he approached. His fingers laced into my hair; his hand hovered over my skin.

"I would like us to be… intimate when you turn me," I confessed.

I waited for my words to click into his mind as his eyes raked over my naked form. When they caught up to him, his perfect brow furrowed. "You mean...?"

"Yes," I pressed down on his hand, so it made contact with my skin. I shivered from the chill. He tried to pull away, but I wouldn't allow it. Though he had the strength to do whatever he pleased, he kept his hand where I wanted it.

"No." His frown deepened as I pulled him onto the bed beside me.

"I want you," I repeated, pressing a kiss to each of his eyes to close them, moving down to his mouth. "Please?" I breathed against his lips. "I want to be yours entirely when I am turned, Edward."

"It's dangerous." He kissed me back.

"We're dangerous." I kissed him back.

"I'm going to be distracted enough as it is, Love." Another kiss.

"If you break me, I'll be fixed right away." A longer kiss.

"I don't want to break you at all!"

"Then, don't. I don't believe you could, anyway."

He groaned and I could feel the need in him, too. "I'm not strong enough for that."

"Yes, you are," I argue. Tugging the last button on his shirt free, I slid my hands over his skin, coaxing a more ragged groan out from deep within his chest. An expression of near pain crosses his features. "And I know you want me, too."

He cupped my face, suddenly fierce, almost angry. "I always want you, Bella. Always. Wanting you and not being able to have you as I want you have been the source of my agony since the moment we met. I will never compromise your safety by giving into my selfish desires."

"They aren't selfish if I want it, too."

His expression softened, but I could see his resolve did not. "No, sweet girl. Let me love you, wash you in the jacuzzi, then turn you. You should be relaxed and comfortable."

"I don't want to be relaxed and comfortable. I want to be utterly lost in you, just like I was in the meadow."

His lips pursed together. Sensing one, final rejection, I lowered my gaze to the golden comforter. Instead, I was pulled up onto the pillows by my wrists. Edward's lips were on my neck before I realized the switch from sitting upright to laying on my back.

Shocked with my easy victory, I lay still. Then, empowered by my easy victory, I wrapped my legs around him, locking him against me.

He started just like he did in the meadow, with soft, gentle caresses. His long fingers played me with the expertise and precision as they played the keys on the piano.

"Take me and make me yours, Edward," I whispered.

He brought his lips to mine, and I repeated the words against them.

The world faded around me. The scent of cedar embers from the fireplace was replaced with the sweet, honey-lavender scent of him. The stars overhead were replaced by his golden eyes, just as dazzling, just as wondrous. The silk sheets of the bed were replaced by the cool hardness of his marble skin.

There was nothing but Edward. No world outside of Edward, just as I wanted.

Perfectly attuned to him, I noticed right away when his lips paused for a second. Felt right away that his fingers pulled away for a fleeting moment. For a moment, it seemed his body truly turned into the marble stone it felt like.

I tried to break apart from him, but his grip was tight, locking me in place. I was unable to even turn my head with Edward's hand cradling the back of my neck. Edward never kept me from where I wanted to go. Not since the early days of our relationship when he needed to me stay still after particularly salacious kisses to keep his hunter's instinct from hunting me.

With a start, I realized that's what was happening.

The monster inside him, raging at the thought of tasting my blood again.

For one, terrible moment, I was frightened of him. Truly frightened.

Another growl rumbled. A tortured sound. I wasn't sure what he hated more: himself or his thirst.

"Edward?" The sound of his name was slurred from the pressure of his lips.

"Dressed. Now."

I didn't question him.

He allowed me to slip out from under him. Without turning back to look at him, I scurried to the bathroom. I was entirely grateful I packed my oldest, rattiest sweatpants and a large, oversized flannel. I pulled them both on. Looking in the bathroom mirror, I hated myself as much as Edward always seemed to. I shouldn't have pushed him. He told me what his limitations were, and I ignored him. His teeth had not broken my flesh, but already I felt like a monster.

Back in the bedroom, Edward was fully dressed, standing in front of the fireplace.

"Edward, I'm so sorry…" I started, ready to fall to my knees and grovel.

I expected him to be angry—furious that I had endangered his love and triggered his bloodlust—but I didn't expect him to grab me by the forearm and pull me out of the bedroom.

"Edward!" I cried out, startled. Surely, he wasn't going to throw me out.

His voice of silk roughened into sandpaper, "We need to you hide you. Now."

Next chapter, we'll switch over to Edward's POV. Just for a bit.