Storm Clouds
Chapter 2: Drinking Gasoline
Mother
That was what I called her so long ago. I remember feeling safe with her, loving her, comforting her as well as she comforted me. Soothing nightmares, healed cuts. But no face was there while the figure held me. I…I can't remember her face! Her name, her smell, her bedtime stories or songs. None of them reached my memory. Am I a bad son? Yet I do recall her voice; a voice of an angel she use to carry. No somber creek or rhythmic ocean had the same affect on me as her voice did.
My childhood was short; quick enough to forget so don't worry about me bringing up my experiences to you. Mother and I lived in a small house but it was big for the both of us, at least that's what I thought. Nothing special because we didn't have the money to really deck it out, but I we did have gorgeous windows. Large ones, small ones, vast clear glasses and curvy private ones. We, as in me and mom, had our special window that looked out over the gardens. I can retell many funny stories just from that window alone.
Cloud flicked the ashes off his cigarette and inhaled the smoke from the stick.
But who gives a fuck about windows. They shatter, they break, and no matter what somehow the flies and winter wind come through the cracks. Nothing's sealable. Soon enough, Mother got caught with a sickness that was spreading through the reactor based town and in order for medicine you need a doctor. So I joined SOILDER to help Mother and I never looked back. Even when my dearest friend Tifa tired to talk me out of doing it I kept my mind to my goal.
Now Tifa…Tifa was my angel. Now I don't mean she was the sweet-and-innocent-before-I-got-into-her-pants kind of angel. No, Tifa was my arch-angel, my protector from doing wrong and wrong doing me. However, when I left for Shinra, I had to get use to not having my guardian angel beside me and walk on my own.
To get into SOLIDER you were required to commit 3-4 years of Solider Training to pass the exams and be stamped as an official SOLIDER.
I got in with only 2 years under my belt. For the record, before you begin thinking let me make myself straight here: I didn't fuck my way up the chain and I didn't hack into the computers or use steroids to impress my instructors. You would laugh but it's true when I say that it was pure talent that got me through. Well, the training at least. Zack took care of the rest of the shit.
Zack was a level 3 trainee when I first met him and the best of his class; which explains why he was the top in his division of SOIDLER. He taught me a lot about the life that I was ignorant of while living with Mother and Tifa in the mountains. He was a couple of years older then me but it didn't stop us from getting hot with each other.
Yah, you can say Zack was my boyfriend for the first year in Shinra. Hey, I didn't even know what the hell 'gay' meant until he began putting his moves on me. At first I was hesitate toward the fact of liking a guy until I was sexually frustrated enough to come running for him.
It was a hell of a good time screwing around with Zack. He alone taught me everything I know which helped me in the long run.
Now when I said that I didn't fuck my way up the social ladder I was truthful but didn't mean I kept my legs closed from everyone. In Shinra I had my share of skeletons in my drawers. One of them being the Shinra President himself. But don't think for a second I enjoyed it. It was all for the privileges such as more freedom and access to whatever I wanted. Part of that access gave me permission to venture to the other Shinra Buildings. It was a day like that when I met my fire-cracker.
I didn't feel like training after I learned we had a pop quiz on the newest combat moves, so I ditched it for the Western Shinra Buildings. They were known to do the dirty business of Shinra where the Turks resided. He was a Turk when I laid my blue mako eyes on him. His name was Reno.
My age exact but he had no birth certificate to back it up. Reno was born in the slums of Shinra central of the betrothals. I could tell before I knew from his quick and sly moves he knew. We'd only have five minuets and he would wear me out by three. But he soon had to break it off when he was relocated towards Costa Del Sol. God I missed him those three months. Never found anyone that fucked me as deep as he did.
Cloud's cigarette was near to the end of its wick and he began stubbing it out.
During those 2 months was almost unbearable for me. Reno left, Zack was promoted out of the trainee building, and I got word from Tifa that my mother died early one morning. It only took Zack leaving me to feel completely miserable but my mother's death made my life suicidal. I thought about ending my life many times until it began to be the only thing I thought about. It was on a Thursday that I came as close as accomplishing it. But he stopped me.
"If killing yourself was the only solution that you could think of then maybe we are not teaching our SOILDERS enough."
When I turned to see who dared speak to me like they knew me I gasped when it turned out that it was Sephiroth. He was my idol and constant goal to become when this was all over but I knew I could never surpass his beauty. It was his flawless looks that made me gasp and stop my heart.
His skin was creamy like porcelain without a battle scar anywhere and his face seemed more angelic when he flashed his vibrant green eyes upon you. It seemed that those green eyes never left their gaze off me when I was with him. Sephiroth carried himself like wild cat. Graceful, sleek, but deadly. All the more alluring and memorizing he was to me.
Eventually Mother became a long bad dream where she lived in the cold mountains. But I didn't live there anymore. I lived in the clouds with my love.
Cloud stopped breathing for the longest moment.
He never called Sephiroth his love in years. The young man felt his cheeks flushing a rouge color and tightened his temples. An ash tray lay on the table untouched with no purpose until it was thrown across the room smashed into a thousand tiny glass splinters.
"I don't love," Cloud said to himself with a hiss. "he took that ability from me long ago."
PLEASE REIVEW!