Disclaimer: I wish that I owned Kingdom Hearts or Disney, but, sadly, I do not.
Summary: Riku's POV. Sora and Kairi and getting betrothed today, and Riku doesn't like that fact. He wants Kairi. Problem is she's going to be taken in a few hours. Riku doesn't want to lose her...but he has a sinking feeling that he already has. KairixRikuxSora triangle.
A/N: Hey! This is my first KH fic. Hope you like. I'm more of a SoraxKairi person, but I really don't mind KairixRiku either. So I did a love triangle. Its rather short. Well, please review!
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Torn Shadow
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I guess I should be happy about this. They've finally found what they wanted, and I really should be happy. I've known Sora and Kairi since they were fourteen. And for just a couple of kids, we were amazing. I took the wrong path, and Sora took the opposite...which led to her. I thought I was doing the right thing. But I suppose I thought wrong. I gave myself up for her, and Sora got the glory. But...he did defeat the darkness. Or that's what everyone thinks, anyway. I really must have done the wrong thing to end up like this, though. Well, I did go to the dark side, so I guess its only fair that Sora gets the girl. He was being tempted to go to the darkness. He told me that. But I guess that he had stronger determination to stay pure. I just wanted to save Kairi and be her hero. Sora took that place instead. I know that I'm being selfish, but I've always loved Kairi. So has Sora...but that's not the point. I thought that maybe Kairi loved me and wanted to be mine. But the reality is that she wants and loves Sora. Not me, and I'm just going to have to learn to live with that.
Sora has traveled to every world in existence. I did too, but I didn't travel with friends. I have to say that I'm glad Sora found Donald and Goofy. I don't really know them well, but they're obviously good travel companions. He ran around fighting heartless for around a year or so...and I ran around fighting with his enemies. I wasn't really myself then. Maleficent convinced me that I was doing the right thing...and I stupidly believed her. I'm angry with myself for doing that. I was fifteen then, and twenty-seven now. And yet I'm still furious with myself over it. But mostly, I'm just mad about how I let Kairi go. She's perfect. Everyone knows she is. She has the purest heart, strong willed, beautiful- basically everything any man would want. Sora's a very, very lucky man. He always has been.
He was chosen as the Keyblade master and had the opportunity to become a role model for dozens of people. What have I done? Nothing like he has. I think Sora has always been the favorite and has always been first place in Kairi's heart. Sometimes, I really wish that I could be him. He's successful and has a lot of good friends. I used to, but ever since my mistake, people have looked at me differently. Even Kairi. She used to look at me warmly and smile. Now she raises and eyebrow and makes a half frown. I think everyone is afraid I'll turn on them and destroy whatever is left. Honestly, I don't really know what I'll do. I used to trust myself and know that I was simply Riku. But now, I have no clue who I am. Am I Riku, or am I heartless? Nobody knows. Not even me. But Sora might. He's the only one who hasn't given me a dirty look. I'm like his brother, I think. And to Kairi, I'm just her brother, too. I'm not actually related to any of them. Once in a while it feels like it, but I know I'm not. I wish Kairi thought of me as more than a rebel brother of her's, but I don't think I can change her mind.
I remember the night Sora proposed to her. We were all at banquet at King Mickey's castle. It was Kairi's twenty-fifth birthday, and we were all invited to that celebration. I thought that it was just an average birthday party...except with ice sculptures and whatnot. But still, I thought it was just her birthday. We all settled ourselves around the stone table. Everyone was laughing and sipping at their wine. Like I said, it just seemed like an average party. Sora made a puzzled face when he bit into some weird dish, but swallowed it whole to be polite. I recall slapping my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing. Kairi didn't hesitate to laugh. The king and everyone else stared at her oddly, but she didn't mind. Donald tipped his hat up politely and continued to nibble at whatever was on his plate. Goofy let out a awkward cough while everyone else at the table cleared their throats. After a moment or two, Kairi stopped laughing and took a sip out of her glass quietly. After that was over, the rest of the guests continued their conversations and made themselves comfortable. Sora smiled at her genuinely. He and I were the only ones who knew what her giggle fit was about. But I my face felt hot when I saw him look at her like that. Due to his affectionate expression and his hand fingering something in his pocket, I should have known what was coming.
Sora ran his fingers through his hair as he romanced Kairi. My face turned beet red. For the first time in my life, I was one-hundred percent jealous. I had seen Kairi and Sora flirt before, but it never really got to me. Probably because they were only fourteen then, and we were all naive. But now that we were older, I was actually concerned. Sora had been all over the place since then, and had met many girls. I think that when it was just a few people on Destiny Islands, he was still unaware that there were more than a few mothers and female friends in the universe. Call me stupid, but I was kind of the same way. But my world revolved around Kairi then, so I didn't even think about any other girls. Sora didn't either. I wasn't exactly sure of what Kairi thought of me then. She kissed me on the cheek once, but I think Sora probably dared her to. And everyone knows that Kairi won't back down from a dare. So...yes. I suspected Sora was planning something that night, but I still wasn't sure. And then he stood up in his chair...and tapped the wine glass.
He tugged at his collar nervously, showing vulnerability to all the guests to notice how scared he was. All eyes turned to him and all of the food layed untouched on the plate. Sora cleared his throat and began to speak, collecting our attention. He told us how happy he was to see everyone and to finally be finished fighting the heartless and everything evil in the world. He said that he had enjoyed viewing new places and meeting all of his new friends. He said that he had been worried for all of us when the heartless roamed free. And he said that out of everyone, Kairi was his biggest concern. He told us that she was his best friend and meant more than anything to him. He told us he was in love and was ready to settle down since the world was safe. And I knew that the words that were pouring from his lips were meant for Kairi. She blushed as he picked her up hand off her lap and kissed it. My entire body felt like a fire spell had just hit it. Sora looked into her eyes solemnly and she returned the gaze. We all knew what was coming, and my heart stopped. Kairi knew it too, and smiled beamed brightly just before he spoke another word. Then he asked those four magic words. She threw her arms around him. And that was pretty much her answer. She replied the words he wanted to hear...
...and they kissed.
Everyone at the stood up and clapped. Everyone except me, that is. King Mickey and the rest of the party were over joyed at their "young love", but I was sickened. That should have been me feeling her lips and holding her tenderly. But I guess I'm not that lucky. I held my hand over my chest. I could feel my heart pounding against my ribs and hitting my palm. I thought I was going to die. It was just supposed to be a normal night, but it turned out to be a nightmare for me, and a pleasant dream for Sora. I thought he was my friend. My...best friend. But now I feel like he's my worst enemy. Sora didn't mean to hurt me intentionally. I didn't exactly make my feelings for Kairi obvious. I'm not the kind of person who screams things out to the world.
After they broke apart, Sora immediately turned to me and grinned, Kairi's arms still draped around his neck. His laugh echoed through the room and stabbed my ears. He gripped my shoulder with his hand and announced joyfully: "Riku! I'm getting married! Can you believe it?" And I replied coldly: "No. I can't." And I really couldn't. I glared at each and every happy person in the room. My heart had just been ripped out and stomped on and all they could do was laugh? I. Was. Furious. I was furious with Sora, Kairi, and every living thing on the planet. Most of all, I was mad at myself. Still am. Even more today then I was that night.
Sora scooted his chair right next to mine like a child. I squinted. He bounced up and down a few times and asked me by far the most stupid question on the planet!
He asked me to be his best man.
My throat closed and I felt as if I couldn't breath ever again. All I could do was wonder why he didn't choose Donald or Goofy or Cid even. I asked him that, and he replied that I was the only man for the job, and that he wouldn't want anyone else there as his best man. I felt the words come out of my mouth. I just didn't hear them. He gained a goofy grin and thanked me, I couldn't really comprehend what just happened. All I knew was that some words were thrown out of my mouth, and that I couldn't get them back. Apparently I said yes, and in only a short year I would be standing on the far side of the alter, watching them pledge their emotions and devotion into a bubbling cauldron of poison...well, not literally. But its what I feel like. And always will.
A year whizzed past me, and today is the day that I watch my Kairi become Sora's wife. They are getting married in the Traverse Town church. Goofy and Donald are the ushers, Yuffie and Aeris are the brides maids, Selphie is the flower girl, Tidus is the ring bearer, and I'm the best man. It sounds like a happy day to you, doesn't it? Well, maybe for everyone else. For me its torture. I'm going to re-live this day in my mind for years to come. Maybe forever. Because this is a fate worse than death. This is the day my hearts dies. I'm not going to die, but I'll feel like I did. I just know I will.
Sora is greeting all of his guests at the door. Goofy and Donald are dressed in their best suits and so is everyone else. Sora is making a wish in a small fountain by the door. Goofy is laughing hysterically while Donald curses at the husband-to-be. If their reaction is that, Sora must have made a pretty stupid wish. I bet he did. Sora never grew up inside. But after he says his two words today, he'll be as grown up as he'll ever be. In a way I'm proud. In another way, I want to knock him out for taking the only girl I ever loved.
He runs over to me, chuckling. He gives me a very light hug and thanks me for being here today. I nod slowly as he rambles on. I can't really focus on what he's saying. I can only concentrate on what's going on in my mind. And its not making me happy. He thanks me one more time before he runs over to the minister.
A few more minutes pass, and the organ starts playing a melodic song. And here comes the bride. I love Kairi as just Kairi, and I'll love her as Sora's wife. No matter what happens, I'll always love the girl. She had taken a special place in my heart that no other girl can ever invade. I'm happy for Sora, really. But maybe I'm happier of the fact that they've finally found happiness. If only I could, too. I watch the corners of Sora's mouth tilt upward as Kairi approaches the alter in her white, flowing dress. Yuffie and Aeris run over to the opposite side of the alter that I stand on, giggling. Silphie dumps a few flower petals on Tidus playfully, and he just grunts with annoyance. I feel sort of bad today, though. I should be paying more attention to the happy couple and stop letting my mind wander off and watch a couple of kids dump flowers over each others heads.
I watch Kairi smile at Sora, tears welling up in her glittering eyes. She has given me that smile before when we've shared rare glances. Our eyes have met and I will admit that we almost kissed once. But Sora got in the way, of course. I think Kairi loves me. I know she loves me. I guess I'm just not the first in her heart. I can accept that. Its not a problem. As long as I'm aware that she has one drop of affection dripping into me, I'm content.
My thoughts are cut off by Sora's pledge.
"I do."
They kiss and he spins her around in a circle. I watch. Maybe I'm not supposed to. Its feels like a dagger in my spine. He carries her down the isle in his arms, and the rest of the church exits into the streets. Kairi and Sora step in front of me, grinning. Kairi throws he arms around me as she has done to Sora many times. Sora shakes my hand firmly as I stroke Kairi's crimson hair gently. She pulls out of my embrace as quickly as she entered it. I want to hold her forever and never let go. But I can't. Sora has that option now, and, you know, he deserves it. I kiss her lightly on the forehead, telling them congratulations, and let her walk to the center of the crowd. Kairi throws her bundle of flowers up into the air, determining who will be married next. I feel something bounce off my chest and into my arms. And I guess that I'm getting married next, for the flowers are in my hands, and apparently so is my destiny. Sora offers a random grin to me, and for the first time in a year, I return that immature smile. He holds her in his arms again and they step into the carriage. My blue eyes rake the ground. I stare at their shadows connected to each other. Right now, my shadow stands alone and I have no one to hold me. But...I did catch the bouquet. So perhaps I'll find someone to embrace me, and patch up my torn shadow.
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