A/N: HEY EVERYBODY thebossman207 IS BACK! Sorry for dippin for so long, I'm back with a new story about RWBY that is way less cringy lol and I have help from my friend OniHelix with writing it so hopefully you guys will enjoy it! As for Is This A Rider?, the story will be finished as a oneshot when I have enough downtime, I honestly don't have time or motivation to redo the whole story but I will be getting my arse buckled down for this one and I can promise that we will crank out chapters as quick as we can, and just a side note, I really missed being on this site and I'm glad to be back in the saddle and giving you something to do. Constructive criticism is appreciated, but as the characters in this story would say, don't be a cunt. Warning: this story will be very dumb overall, we're doing it on purpose. Anyway, I'll let my boi Oni say what he wants, and after that, welcome to the fuckin shitshow, on with the chapter!

Oni: What is up my dudes. As previously stated, I'm now over here helping out my boy with this story, a fine collab we call Get REKT. Don't worry about me though, I still plan to work on my stories as usual, I'm just taking a little break to make sure these get up and running smoothly. But yeah, as theboss said earlier, we're being dumb on purpose. Don't take it too seriously! I'm going out of my way to be as stupid as possible, so just sit back and laugh at this garbage! So take your chapter and enjoy it you animals.

;)

RWBY: Get REKT

Chapter 1

The Red Hunter

It had been many a day since he'd received his acceptance letter to Beacon. While many considered it quite the honor, he didn't really think much of it. It was just the next step for him, after all. Speaking of next steps though...

"Yo where the fuck am I going?" he said out loud, looking around. Though the letter he'd received had given him the address for the transport for orientation, he… kinda sorta sucked ass with directions. Absolute dukie.

Checking his scroll, he once again examined the address he had copied from the letter in the hopes of being able to find it in this absolute labyrinth of a city.

"It says I gotta go to the intersection of 9th and Regent, but fuck me if I know where either of those are…" he said, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. Looking around once more, he was relieved to see a dust shop in the distance. Figuring if anyone would know where the Beacon transports were, it would be the shopkeepers in the area who sold dust. No one uses dust quite like an academy.

Heading over and going inside, he quickly examined the bag he had slung over his shoulder, making sure he was stocked up on dust. Gently setting the bag on the ground and rummaging around, he ignored the magazines he had, the worn set of keys, an old rusty shotgun, a photo of a boy with his parents, and a pair of weaponized gauntlets. These were Duality of Man, the boy's weapons of choice. The right one, silver and gilded with crimson, bore a retractable blade on the back. The left, silver and gilded with azure, possessed a total of four gun barrels mounted upon it. Sadly, he only found a few dust rounds packed away, so he knew he had to get more.

Looking up, he was greeted by the man running the shop glancing at him. He didn't blame him, though. It's not everyday a guy like him walked into your store, even with a huntsman academy so close by. First off, he was tall. Hella tall. Dummy tall. How tall? Let me tell you, he was tall. 6'4"! That's tall.

Did I mention that he was tall? 'Cuz he's tall.

Aside from his towering height, his most defining trait was his build. My mans was swole. A complete juggernaut. Walk into a room and his triceps get there five minutes later. He built.

Otherwise, however, he didn't stand out too much. His outfit wasn't too flashy; it was nothing but black jeans and a t-shirt, black boots, a wine red jacket, a blue beanie, and the bag we had already mentioned.

Taking a quick look around the shop he found the rounds he needed and took them to the register, producing from his wallet the Lien required to pay for it all.

"Oh, before I go," the boy said, packing away his new ammo, "can I ask where the pickups are for trainees? I'm a new recruit for Beacon but I have no clue where I'm going."

The man nodded and took the boy's scroll, going to the map screen and placing a marker on the location he was supposed to be going.

"Noice thanks fam," he said before leaving, the man rolling his eyes. These Beacon kids were getting weirder and weirder…

Now with a better idea of where to go, he was distraught to see that he was on the exact opposite side of Vale than he needed. "Fuck," he mumbled to himself, beginning his walk. There was no point in waiting, as it was getting dark pretty quickly…

[-0-]

Despite the boy's efforts, he was unable to get to the transport area before nightfall, and as such was forced to walk through the Vale streets at night. Checking his scroll, he was again distraught to see that he had been walking in circles, and as such was still only a few blocks from the dust shop from earlier.

"You gotta be shitting me," he said, leaning back and groaning. "Why does this whole city look the damn same?!"

After his shout of grief echoed throughout the surrounding cityscape, he heard a few noises in the distance, turning to see it was coming from an alleyway nearby. Heading over, he walked down to see a few teenagers roughly his age picking on a stray dog, throwing rocks at it and hitting it with sticks.

Taking a deep breath, he took a few quiet steps forward before grabbing one of the teens and yeeting him into a nearby dumpster. "Surprise, motherfucker," he said as he did so, the teen hitting the lid and closing it as he fell in.

"Aight who else wants to catch these hands?" the new Beacon recruit asked, one teen telling him to fuck off and threw a rock at him. He caught it however, said "no u", and chucked it right back at him, knocking him out.

With both of his friends now unconscious, the final looked around to try and find an escape route, but was distressed when he found no obvious path to do so.

"You're only getting outta here once I jam your face up your ass, fucko," he said, cracking his knuckles. "I'll be gentle."

The boy quickly went to work beating the absolute shit out of the final animal abuser, slowly approaching the dog and letting it smell his hand before picking it up and caressing it.

"Hush, puppy, it's all gonna be okay now," he whispered, petting the dog. He remembered an animal shelter he had passed earlier, and as such followed the signs in the area to bring him back to it. On his way, however, he heard a few gunshots sounding in the distance.

"Oh nice, more things to do!" he shouted, though he then looked down at the dog in his arms. "Er, I guess not this time… Heck, I wanted to beat the shit outta more punks…"

Taking a few more steps and ignoring the gunshots, he shivered a bit, as with the night air came a lonely chill. Shoulda brought an extra jacket he thought to himself, It's way too damn cold just for this one…

Regardless, he continued to the shelter, eventually getting there and dropping off the dog he had rescued. After he had dropped off the dog, he stopped and watched as in the shelter they aired a rerun of the previous Vytal Festival finals, a couple of students who had proved to be above and beyond the best of the best, or rather, a couple of total chads who proceeded to beat the absolute shit out of each other. Finishing the rerun and watching as the triumphant student claimed victory he got up and began heading back out and towards the pickup still marked on his scroll, he passed by the source of the gunshots from earlier, the police already being on the scene.

"What happened here?" he asked one of the cops, the cop he had asked turning to him and putting away his notepad.

"Dust robbery," the cop responded. "That Roman Torchwick guy again, according to the girl who was there when it started. Luckily there was a Huntress in the area, so no one got hurt. Well…" he said, looking at the men on the ground, "no one got hurt that wasn't trying to rob the place."

"That Huntress really did a number on them, huh?" the boy asked, though the cop shook his head.

"It was the girl," the cop said. "I hear she was a student at Signal, but none of the first responders saw her. I guess that Huntress grabbed her and left before we got here, but it's not like it matters all that much; nothing too expensive was lost, and we've got all these guys ready to be taken in."

"A Signal kid, huh?" the boy asked. "That really it?"

"Well," the cop said, thinking, "there was this other kid vlogging or something, he was pretty annoying."

"Aight cool, welp, you guys have fun putting the shitheads in jail, I'm gonna go back about my day," he said, the cop nodding and pulling back out his notepad. The boy just turned and headed back out, following the location on his map in the hopes of getting to the pickup spot before it got too late, as he was already out pretty late.

"Gotta go fast, it's getting colder…" he said to himself as he walked. Despite his hopes, he was still a long way away from the pickup, and even passed by a bookstore in his nearly aimless wanderings. "Tukson's Book Trade, huh?" he wondered aloud as he walked past it, though he stopped to examine the sign. "Might have to take a look next time I'm out in Vale…"

In time, he actually made it to the pickup ship. "Fucking finally," he whispered as he approached it, the person at the loadpoint sighing and getting up from his chair.

"Didn't think there would be anyone else coming this late at night. Whatever, what's your name, kid?" he asked, grabbing the list from next to his seat.

"Orion Rubidus," the boy said proudly, hands on his hips.

"...Right," the man said as he flipped through the list for Orion's name, though he certainly took a while to find it. Orion was getting nervous, honestly, this was taking too long… "Oh, there you are, last page. You're free to get on. It won't be until morning that we leave, but we've got plenty of spare pillows and sleeping rolls for those who get here early. Check with the folks on board, they'll get you settled."

"Lit thanks," Orion said as he got on and did as the man said, getting a pillow and sleeping roll to crash with until the ship took off. Finding a more secluded area, he laid down his stuff and crawled in, as though today was mostly mundane, he had been wandering for hours…

"And tomorrow, I start going to Beacon; kicking ass, taking names, kicking more ass, maybe finding some quality ass while I'm at it… We'll see."

And with that, he drifted off to sleep, dreaming of clapping cheeks, in the good way and the fun way…

[-0-]

Though morning came eventually, Orion didn't wake right away, as it had been a late night. He awoke closer to noon, finding that his secluded corner was still rather secluded, only one or two new students having found their way back there. Figuring it was time to start the day, Orion stood and gathered together his belongings, as well as the bedding he had been granted before putting it all away.

Slinging his bag over his shoulder, he began walking to the viewing platform, though he bumped into and knocked over a much smaller girl.

"Oh, my bad!" he shouted, setting down his things to help her up.

"Oh no, it's my bad! I wasn't looking!" she said as Orion helped her up.

"Just pay more attention next time, yeah?" Orion asked, the girl nodding. "Okay good. Hey, maybe I'll see you when classes start?"

"Yeah, maybe!" she cheered before running off.

"God she's fuckin smaaall," Orion said, thinking back to the girl he had just spoken to. He would have continued, but he was drawn from his thoughts by the sound of a dude vomiting in the background. "Oh rough dude, I know how that feels. Reminds me of when I ate that 5th bowl of soup… It was worth it though, fuck me sideways that was some good soup."

As he took a seat, he saw that there was a news story regarding the dust robbery from last night, regarding how despite police efforts, Roman Torchwick had escaped arrest once again.

"That Signal kid must have really scared him off, huh?" Orion said as he leaned back and started messing with his scroll. "Some kinda bite-sized badass…"

As he sat, he saw that the small girl he had bumped into was talking with a much more well-developed girl, and they seemed to occasionally glance at him then giggle, though he paid it no mind. Wasn't the first time anyone had done it anyway.

Getting bored, he stood up and began wandering, but stopped when he felt a hand grab his shoulder.

"My dipshit detector is going ham…" he said, stopping. Dipshit Detector™, it's like Gaydar for dumb people.

Regardless, things were only now starting to get underway, and they were going to be lit.

As you guys may have guessed, this is more a character intro than a first chapter, and there will be one more like this before we get to the actual story, but trust us, it's worth it. Hopefully you guys have as much fun reading as we did coming up with this, and we hope you will enjoy what else we have in store. Go check out OniHelix as well, he has great stories and is the main reason this story is funny. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Oni, anything to add?

Oni: Not that much, my good sir, I think you've got it mostly covered. However, I do wanna just say that this chapter was theboss' boy. Next chapter… That's MY boy. I gave you guys a hint, but trust me… It's gonna be way fuckin dumber. Now I don't know if I'm allowed to say this here since it's not my story and all but fuck it, I do what I want.

OniHelix out!

As alwasys everyone, 'Till All Are One!