Eclipsed, a janet evanovich fanfic

Song is called Eclipsed by Evans Blue. CD is called The Melody and the Energetic Nature of Volume. Song lyrics are in italics.

Disclaimer: Characters, situations, and anything that is familiar is owned by the fabulous Janet Evanovich, Evanovich, INC and et al.

A/N: I happened upon this song by accident. I own the CD. When I heard this song for the first time, I thought about a lot of things. But I mostly thought about this. I just couldn't stop thinking about it. So here it is. I hope you enjoy it. It will be just an oneshot. No chance of me elaborating further. I may make more oneshots with this CD, I haven't decided yet. MagnificentSin

We love our tragedies.

I knew he was there. I couldn't see him, but I could feel his eyes watching me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. I was laying the fetal position, the quilt pulled up to my ears. The air in the apartment was chilly. I had left the window open to pull in the fresh Jersey polluted air into my bedroom. It was spring. The days were getting warmer and at night it would get down right cold. I knew better then to leave my bedroom window open, the fire escape leads to that window, but it had been so tempting that I couldn't resist. There was only faint streetlight streaming into the bedroom, but he was standing in the shadows. I smiled to myself. He was probably leaning against the door, one foot propped up, and arms crossed over his chest.

He was silent. I hadn't expected a long answer, but I had expected some sort of acknowledgement. I knew him. I didn't always know what he was thinking, but I knew him. He knew me better than I knew myself. He knew how my thought process worked. He had been filled in on my day. He would know how I felt, because I suspected he felt the same way, but it was something he would never let show. He wouldn't let his guard down. I knew he never would.

We're both broken in our own little ways.
We're broken, but we fit together just right.
You know I saw the black inside your eyes.
I saw they were eclipsed by mine…
and they looked just right.

I rolled over so that I was on my back. I tucked the quilt under my arms. I was only wearing a tank top and panties. I really wasn't feeling like baring all to him in the middle of the night. I blinked my eyes a couple of times.

"If this is about running with you in the morning, then come back in a couple of hours when it is actually daylight." I rolled back over onto my side, and I closed my eyes. I heard his footsteps bringing him to my side of the bed. I knew he was near, my breathing became erratic and my heart began to thump to its own irregular beat. He looked in to my eyes. There was something different about him tonight. Something unfamiliar in his gaze.

When our lights meet,
Will you know me then, and will you want to know it?
It feels like I've known you for so long.
When our lights meet,
Will you want me then, and will you ever know it?
It seems like you've known me for so long.

"You are not here about running in the morning are you?" I asked. "What happened? Didn't get to shoot at anyone tonight. Or no one shot at you?" I said. I smiled to myself. He led a strange life. A life that had somehow warped itself around mine; our paths crossed on a daily basis.

I love your analogies.

He just continued to look into my eyes. His pupils were fully black, swallowed up in a sea of darkness.

"Don't feel like talking tonight, huh? Well I feel like sleeping. I had a horrible day. Even by my standards it was an awful day. Old Petey Opendale, threw me out his second story window into the garbage dumpster at his assisted living apartment this morning. Someone who can throw a woman out a window doesn't deserve to be in assisted living. I smelled like two week old chicken grease and rotten eggs for twelve hours. I had to drive home in my panties and my T-shirt. And well I'm sure you've heard that it just went downhill from there." I was rambling. He was still silent, listening to me rant.

We're both crazy in our own little ways.
We talk about the future and our past lives.

"Really, this has been great, but I would really like to go back to sleep. Can you come back in the morning? Why are you here anyway? I know you didn't come over in the middle of the night to hear about my day. You already know how my day went. You know how all my days go." I pulled the quilt further up, and sighed. He was still unmoving; his hands were on the edge of the bed wrapped around the edge of the quilt. "Go away or stay. Either way I am going back to sleep. You're going to do whatever you want anyway. If you leave, lock the door behind you." All was silent. The breeze was blowing my curtains out, flapping them around like flags in the wind. He stood, laying the quilt back down on the mattress. I listened for his footsteps going towards the door. My eyes followed his dark form. His shadow graced the door to the bathroom.

"You're leaving." I whispered to myself. I squeezed my eyes shut, holding back the tears. If he left, I would know then. I would know how he felt. I really hadn't thought he would leave. For years he had been like a guardian angel watching over me. Letting me fly, watching me stumble. I had grown use to him. I had come accustomed to him. I opened my eyes.

I know I loved you then.
I know I'd love you now.

He paused, his hand reaching out for the doorknob. I took a deep breath, holding it. I was suspended in time. Nether of us moved. I stared at his back, willing him to stay. He lowered his hand. He took himself over to the window, closing and locking it. I heard his footsteps behind me; I felt the edge of the bed tilt to bear the weight of an extra person. I heard the first boot drop onto the floor and then the other. I felt the quilt being pulled up, the cold breeze dancing along my back; then the warmth of another body wrapping around me. He was without clothes. He buried his face in the nape of my neck, taking a deep breath inhaling the scent of my hair. I was thinking about long ago on another night we spent together.

I know I'll love you then…
I know I love you now.

We laid like that for hours, spooned against one another. Silently taking strength and comfort from each other. His hand was lightly stroking my stomach, his fingers tickling along the waistband on my panties, never straying further down. I turned my head, so that I could look into his eyes. He had changed. He was different. I felt different.

I wanted to tell him. I searched for the words. My eyes searching his for a clue to what he was thinking. I wanted to be with him.

But you can't have everything you want when you want it.

I had been darting back and forth for so long. I was tired. I was tired of being told what I should do, and what was expected of me. It was time to be me. It was time to take a leap of faith. I turned my body into his.

I will be everything you want…
When you want it.
Wait for me,
Trust for me,
Fall for me,
Even when you don't know you're falling for me.
Will you fall for it,
If it should it'll come around again.

He leaned forward and pressed his lips lightly to mine, and then he kissed my forehead. His lips lingered against my forehead.

But don't wait for me and…
Don't trust in me.
Don't fall for me.
Even when you know you're falling for me.

I closed my eyes, my breath caught painfully in my lungs. He didn't want to say it. I knew. I knew this was all we could have. I thought it could be different this time around. I thought that we could make it. His hand caressed the side of my face. I wanted to look at him one last time like this. Just so when it got tough I could close my eyes and remember the shape of his eyes, the lines in his skin, the angular plains in his face. I couldn't let him go so easily. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I took a deep breath and touched my forehead to his, letting our noses touch. This would be the last time. When I closed my eyes he would be gone.

I rolled over in the bed. My hand connected with a male body. He stayed. I sighed. He stayed. I snuggled closer. He felt different than he did last night, I thought to myself. I let my hand roam down his back. That's funny, he felt leaner. I peeked a blue eye open. I was met with chocolate brown eyes.

"Good Morning, Cupcake."

I sat up with a start. Sunlight streamed through the window. I checked myself underneath the quilt. I was wearing the same tank top and panties. I looked back over at Morelli. He was studying me with curious eyes.

"Cupcake? What's wrong?"

I ran a hand through my hair. I was trying to piece together what was going on. I wasn't making the connection.

"I don't know." I replied, getting out of bed. I wasn't here last night. I looked in the closet. My clothes were all here. My shoes lined up in the bottom of the closet. I could hear the wheel squeaking from Rex's cage.

I looked back at Morelli. "How did I get here? Why am I here?"

Morelli laughed, "Cupcake, you live here…"

I walked out of the bedroom. I didn't live here. I didn't understand what was going on. I went downstairs. Sure enough my new black Rav-4 was sitting in the driveway. I put a hand to my forehead, and I closed my eyes. I couldn't have been a dream. It had been real. I felt the tears in my eyes last night. I felt his hands around me. He was there. I was there. It couldn't have been a dream.

Morelli was standing behind me. "You're looking weird, Steph. What's wrong with you?"

I looked up at him. "Nothing." Shaking my head, I gave a half-hearted laugh, "I just had a weird dream."

"Anything I should know about. Wild gorilla sex, identical quadruplets, a week without a car exploding?"

"No. I don't even know what it was about now. I just woke up feeling weird." I lied. No need for Morelli to know the truth. He wouldn't like the truth. He wouldn't like to know what the dream had actually been about.

I was heading up the stairs, "I need the bathroom first. I need to get to work."

I took a shower, and did the hair and make-up thing. I spent a full hour getting ready. I need a lot of eyeliner and mascara. I felt like today would be one of those days. I needed to see him. I needed to know for myself that it was just a dream. I threw on a pair of faded jeans and a stretchy short-sleeved black top with a V-neck.

By the time I got back downstairs, Morelli was already gone. No matter to me. I didn't want to get the third degree from my reaction this morning. Morelli had left me a note to walk Bob before I left this morning. I fed Rex a broccoli sprout and gave him new water. Rex came wiggling out of his soup can, twitching his whiskers at me as in to say thanks for the food and water. He was a good pet. Didn't need a lot of food and didn't need a lot of attention to keep him happy. Bob the dog on the other hand, was waiting by the door, going crazy, padding back and forth in front of the door impatiently. I hooked the leash onto his collar and took him out for a thirty-minute walk. This morning I was preoccupied with my own thoughts. I didn't pay much attention to Bob. I was on autopilot. When we got back to the house, I fed Bob and gave him water. I told him to be a good dog and not to eat my good thongs. I grabbed my pocketbook and swung myself out to the Rav-4. I still felt like I was missing a good chunk of my life. I was feeling like I had been dropped into several months later. I turned the music in the Rav-4. I needed to think. I needed to think in silence, to collect my thoughts. I turned onto Hamilton and parked in front of the bonds office. I beeped the Rav-4 locked and alarmed, and went into the office. Connie had her feet up on the desk, filing on her nails. I dropped my pocketbook in the chair in front of the desk. Lula was yet to be seen.

"What's with the look?" Connie asked me, looking up from her fire engine red fingernails.

"What look? This is how I look." I said, looking down at myself. I looked the same way I always did.

"Extra heavy eyeliner and mascara. Did you and Morelli have a fight?"

Just then Lula walked in the back door.

"What's this I hear about a fight? Did you finally kick his ass to the curb?" Lula said, swinging her fuchsia colored sequined purse onto the top of the file cabinet. "If you did kick his ass to the curb. I think you need to tell Lula all about it. We should celebrate. We should get a few of those giant ass margaritas and have a party."

"You two are crazy. I don't know what you both are talking about. No parties. I haven't done anything." I said, tapping my foot on the ground and waving my hands in the air.

"Too bad," Lula said to Connie, "I was really looking forward to a giant ass margarita."

I blew out a sigh. "I need a file. Give me any file."

Connie slid a few my way. A couple of low bond, repeat offenders. "Great. Thanks."

I picked up my pocketbook and headed outside. I had my head down. Something was different about me today. I just couldn't put my finger on it. I needed to see him. I wanted to talk to him. I needed to know. I needed to know before I made my decision.

I felt his presence first. I didn't look up. I knew he was standing at my vehicle. I could feel the tingle down my spine. I kept my head down, until I was just a few steps in front of him. I looked up and into his eyes. His eyes were searching mine and I knew. I knew in that instance, he had the dream too.

"It happened didn't it?" I said to him. "You were there."

His hands reached out for me, a faint smile on his lips.

"I knew it felt real." I whispered. "I just couldn't let you go."

"Just close your eyes." Ranger said to me, gathering me close.

I knew what I had to do. I had to let go. I had to be with him.

When our hearts meet, will we make it then.
Will we even notice that they are eclipsed?