Ok, so this is a story I started about a month ago, and have just started writing again. It is going to be a 2 part story, and it's not that long. I have the other part written, butI want to know what you think of this. Ok, so it takes place about 1 or 2 months after the Valentine's Day episode. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: hmmmm, I was looking at the classifieds today and I saw that they were hiring people at Wendy's and I think I might go apply there. So, judging from this information, do you think I have any possession, even in its tiniest amount, of Gilmore Girls?

Part 1: Sobering the Lies

She didn't know what to do. The past few months had been so hard for her and she didn't know how to deal with it. Their relationship had been so off for those few months, even when she didn't know about April. Even when Luke had kept that secret, their relationship had been put on hold. Or at least she felt that way.

For two months Luke kept that secret, and then when he finally did tell her, she was kept out of April's life, as if Luke was putting Lorelai and the marriage on the backburner while trying to get April to like him as a father.

He might not have realized what he was doing was hurting Lorelai, but it sure as hell was. For the past month and a half, she had cried herself to sleep, quietly if Luke was in bed next to her, but more often in full sobs because Luke was at the diner.

Each night that Luke did come home, the same routine would occur. Luke would come home around 9 after Lorelai had been at home alone for three and a half hours contemplating what the hell was wrong with her that was making Luke ignore her and not understand her, and then they would sit and talk about their days for about two minutes, Lorelai would pretend to get tired and go to bed. Luke would run into the kitchen, grab some food, a cup of tea, and about 45 minutes later, he would join her upstairs.

Lorelai couldn't remember the last time she had sex was. It must have been Valentine's weekend. After that, everything went back to normal, no sex, little or no physical contact, and more doubts about whether Luke really did want to marry her.

That night, not much was different, Luke had called around quarter of 8 to tell Lorelai that he would be home earlier because Kirk had made dinner reservations at some restaurant for him and lulu so Luke wouldn't need to stay an extra hour to make sure the insane town regular didn't overdose on the ketchup.

It was now 8:04 and Lorelai was dreading Luke coming home. She didn't know why. She didn't want to know why; she just wanted the feeling to go away. But it wouldn't. It had been there since Luke had agreed to postpone the wedding. Even at Martha's Vineyard, the only time she didn't feel like this was when Luke was caressing her body and making love to her. But of course that only lasted a few minutes before Luke had fallen asleep, Lorelai uncomfortably in his arms.

She sat on the couch staring at the turned off TV, petting Paul Anka, who was sitting peacefully on her lap. She had flashbacks to when Rory was a little girl, around the age of five.

"Left foot. Right foot. Feet, feet, feet. Oh how many, feet you meet." a 21 year old Lorelai finished up. Her daughter lay on the bed, her head on her mother's lap. It had become a tradition to read to her daughter every night right after they brushed they're teeth, and changing into pajamas.

When Lorelai didn't hear the usual 'more Mommy, more! Please read another story!' that Rory normally gave her; she looked down to find the 5 year old sleeping.

Lorelai smiled and stroked her daughters soft, just brushed hair. She loved getting the chance to hold her little kindergartener in her lap, just watching her sleep. She loved the soothing feeling of Rory's steady breathing against her belly. She loved the fact that her and her daughter could comfort each other.

She felt the little child shift in her lap, make a quite sigh, turn into cuddle into her mother's body, and fall back into a deep slumber.

Paul Anka just moved his head slightly, so his nose was pressing against Lorelai's belly button.

Lorelai smiled. If only Rory was that small again. I wonder if Anna ever did that with April. Lorelai thought to herself.

Just then the front door opened and Lorelai knew who it was. Who else could it be but Luke?

"Hey" he greeted as he walked over to the couch and kissed her on the cheek. And I don't even get a real kiss!

"Hey" she mumbled.

Luke sat down next to her shaking the couch, causing Paul Anka to get up and jump off the couch. Sure, make the dog get off the couch, but you can't even kiss me? Let's not even mention you not being able to make love to me! Lorelai was really feeling a bit hateful towards Luke tonight.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder. Normally Lorelai would respond by cuddling up close to him, but tonight she just ignored his gesture. Luke noticed this and removed his arm, placing it in his lap.

"What's wrong?" he asked her in a concerned tone.

"It's nothing, just work." she said sighing and leaning a bit towards Luke, trying to get him to leave the issue.

"Oh. What happened?" he asked her.

"Just a little Michel and his dogs. And Sookie got rushed to the hospital with a cut that I was told required 15 stitches." she answered. All of it was true. Luke then placed his arm around her shoulder for the second time, but this time, she accepted.

"So how was your day?" she asked him.

"Nothing a frying pan and a little ghost story couldn't handle." he answered. Lorelai laughed at this.

"Let me guess, Taylor and Kirk?" she asked him.

"Yeah."

They sat together, neither talking, when Luke remembered something.

"Oh, hey, I'm not going to be able to go out with you on Thursday, is that ok?" he asked her. Lorelai's heart dropped and she didn't know how to respond.

"Sure, I guess. I mean, if you have to." she answered hesitantly. She didn't want to let him do it, she wanted him to stop canceling their dates out which were becoming scarcer and scarcer by the day. "So what do you have to do on Thursday?" Lorelai asked. If I'm going to give it up, then it better be for a good reason.

"Anna said she had a date with a guy and she needs me to watch April for a bit. Now that I'm able to watch April, she said she's started dating again." Luke answered.

That's your answer? That's your damn, fucking answer? You're going to blow your Fiancée off so Anna can go on a date? What the hell! So if Anna has a date on our wedding (if it ever happens), then Luke might have to miss it to go watch his daughter!

"Oh, ok." she whispered quietly. Be supportive, be supportive. She chanted in her head.

She looked at the clock, it was 8:20, but she really didn't feel like dealing with awkward silence tonight.

"Hey, I'm gonna go take a bath." she said to Luke. Luke retracted his arm as Lorelai patted his knee and slowly stood up from the couch.

She took a few seconds to stretch a bit before walking up the stairs to the bathroom.

Luke sat on the couch in silence thinking only of what he wanted to do with April on Thursday. Maybe I could just watch some TV with her. Although, I don't know what she likes. She said she might need some help with her Social Studies project, but what they hell do I know about history? Maybe I'll ask Lorelai. No, I can't do that. I can't get her involved with a kid she probably doesn't want anything to do with. Luke thought.

The bath water started to run as Luke thought some more.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Lorelai was shedding her clothes and slowly slipping into the warm cleansing water of the bath. She had put some bath bubbles which caused the room to fill up with the smell of lavender.

Luke loves the smell of lavender. She thought. Screw Luke! He's just an asshole jerk who doesn't find your relationship worth much! He just seems to think that this isn't real! Don't let him get to you! As a matter of fact? Why are you marrying him? Because he loves me! Yes, and that's why it took him two months to tell you about April, right? No! He just wanted me to be happy and saw the situation as something that would make our relationship go down the drain! And not telling you for two months did just that didn't it? No! Luke loves me! He just…needs some more…time. That's it, he needs more time! More time? Please! He's just a stupid jerk who keeps you around for the sex! What the hell! Luke would never do that! Are you insane? Are you? No! Yes you are, you're still with him aren't you? Go jump off a cliff! Yes, because that's what you tell to the rational voice in your head. Did Dr.Phil tell you that?

Lorelai had voice one (the "rational" and pessimistic one) and voice two (the optimistic hopeless romantic one) arguing in her head. Now if she could only tell which one was right.

"Lorelai, are you ok?" Luke asked her as he entered the bathroom. Lorelai didn't notice until Luke had asked that, that she had been crying. She had been crying over Luke. She sniffled and then wiped away the tears quickly.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm uh…I'm fine. Don't worry." she told him.

"No you're not, what happened?" he asked her as he knelt down at the side of the tub.

"Luke it's nothing, I was just thinking of some things. I'm fine." she tried to convince him, this time more forceful at the end.

"Lorelai--"

"Luke, I said I'm fine." she said again. She was starting to get aggravated. What she really wanted to say was: 'you caused this! You don't get the damn right to ask what the hell's wrong!' But she didn't. She just kept quiet and calm.

"Ok, but if you need to talk, you know you can talk to me." he said, stroking his hand across her cheek. She flinched. "Now I know something's wrong. Tell me what it is." he said, he was still talking in a quiet, caring voice.

"God! How many times do I just have to say it's nothing!" she yelled at him as she pulled away from his hand that was still in contact with her skin.

She removed herself from the bathtub and wrapped herself in the towel hanging up on the rack. Luke stood up and followed her as she walked into the bedroom that they both shared the one or two nights a week Luke spent at the house.

"What do you want?" he yelled back at her. How could she expect him to not care! "We're getting married and you're flinching when I touch you! Do you expect me not to notice and to not care?" he asked her in surprise.

Her eyes filled with furry. Us? Getting married? Yeah right! What does he think? Now that we're engaged he has the right to know everything after that little stunt he pulled with the whole April situation? No fucking way!

"Don't even fucking go there Luke! You didn't tell me about April for two months! Two months that you were lying to me! God damn you Luke! And then, after those two months of lying, you do tell the truth. And even after that, I still gave you a chance, I thought 'well hey, Luke's new at this, give him another chance, forgive and move on. It's behind us now. Now we can start over and Luke will just tell the truth and at least now he will include me in his daughter's life!' Well I guess I was wrong! Every time April was going to be at the diner, you would tell me like it was a warning to stay away! How dare you! How dare you keep me out of her life! Yes, she is your daughter, but what the hell Luke! I'm part of your life! We're getting married! Oh, sorry, we were getting married, until you went and lied to me! And then it got postponed!" she was yelling now.

"You offered! You stuck that idea in there! Not me!" he yelled back at her.

"Because I thought it would be easier on you! And then, when I started hinting at the fact that I wanted to reschedule the wedding and not leave it just hanging there in the air to be shot down at anytime, you ignored me! You ignored the fact that I wanted to pick anther date! You ignored the fact that I was ready for the wedding! But I guess maybe you aren't! Maybe you don't even want to get married to me at all! Is that why you don't include me in your other life? Because you don't see our relationship really going anywhere?" she asked him, just egging him on, waiting for him to try and defend himself.

"I do want to marry you! If I didn't I wouldn't have said yes when you proposed! I wouldn't have gone through all of the damn trouble of waiting for Rory to come around!" he yelled back. Oh shit, he thought. Wrong answer.

"Oh, so this is all her fault now?"

"That's not what I meant…" Luke said, trying to figure out how he was going to change his last statement or at least rephrase it.

"Oh, so she's just a burden now? Is she weighing down on you Luke? Is Rory causing you so much pain that you have to wait an extra couple months to get the wedding, that you don't actually want, to be planned? Huh Luke?" she screamed. How dare he bring Rory into this! How dare he blame her! It was both Lorelai and Luke's fault for what had been happening, not Rory's.

"I didn't mean it that way. I meant to say that you were being stubborn, like you are now, and you were just saying that if Rory never came back to her senses, that you and I would never get married!" he said to her.

"We're never getting married Luke!" she yelled back, her face now covered in tears.

"What?" he asked in confusion.

" you say I flinch when you touch me, well you can't even have sex with me, let alone sleep in the same damn house!" she yelled at him.

"What the hell are you talking about? We've had sex!" he yelled at her.

"When Luke? Valentine's weekend? That was one night! And the two months before that were sex free too!" she yelled at him.

"Lorelai, you know I haven't been able to be here lately with the things going on! I can't just ignore the diner to come and sleep with you!" he shouted angrily.

"The diner being the life I'm not included in? The life you think you can keep away from me? I'm not even sure if you love me anymore!" she yelled as more tears poured down her face.

"What?" Luke asked in horror. Of course he loved her! He had never loved anyone more with the exception of Rory and April.

"Is that it Luke? Is the lying, and the avoidance, and the chunk of life I'm not allowed to see just you trying to tell me that you don't love me? Are you trying to just let me down easy? Trying to say that you don't want to marry me? That you don't want to repeat the same mistake you made with Nicole? Is it Luke!" she yelled the last line at the top of her lungs. Luke hesitated and Lorelai's eyes widened. She saw a look of fear in his eyes and knew what he was thinking.

"Oh my god!" she gasped.

"No it's not that." he said, taking a step towards her.

"No! Don't touch me." she told him as she looked down at the floor and took a step back.

"Lorelai, I do love you, and this isn't a mistake. I do want to get married, it's just--" he started to explain.

"No, get away." she said quietly.

"Lorelai, please." he pleaded but Lorelai refused to give in.

"No Luke! I will not let you hurt me more than you already have! At least now you don't have to worry about making that mistake. Just go, I don't need this right now. I don't want to make it harder than it already is." she said with a tear running down her face. She then wiped it away and walked into the bathroom to get back into the tub and hope the bubbles could cover up the emotional scars she had just caused Luke to inflict on her.

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Luke just stood there astonished at the events that had just transpired. How could he let this happen? How could he let go again? Didn't he see that the one month last year was enough time apart? Didn't he learn his lesson?

Not until it was too late. He knew that he should just give her the space she needed and while he waited, come up with a plan to get her to see that he loved her, but he didn't want to wait. He wanted to fix things now. He wanted to be able to sleep tonight. He wanted to hold her warm body close now more than ever. He wanted to caress her body, teasing her and letting her tease him, right before reaching for the condoms. He wanted to rewind to a few months ago, the day that Rory came back. He wanted to get the chance to tell her about April the moment he himself found out. He wanted to introduce her to Lorelai the first chance he got. Hell, he wanted to include Lorelai in every single thing he had done with April! He wanted to be able to change the past--something he knew he could not do.

So he just gave up, let his arms lay as his side as he slowly made his way out of the room. He trudged down the stairs, dreading getting to his apartment. He didn't want to have to go in there and find the place empty of light, happiness, and life. His apartment had never really been a place he wanted to stay for the rest of his life. He had always planned to be out of there by the age of 25, almost 7 years after his dad died. But as the years dragged on, he found himself giving up on the hope of finding someone to be with and to live in a real house with. By the age of 30, he had given up and had hidden his sadness even from himself. That was until he met Lorelai. Then it all had come back to him, and he felt lonely just sitting there in bed every night watching a baseball game or just sipping a beer. When they started dating, he would either stay at her house, or at his apartment, but the difference was that he didn't mind. He didn't mind because he always knew he would be seeing her in the morning and he would be holding her in a day's time. He knew that she would be there, but now, he didn't.

Chances were that Lorelai wouldn't be there in the morning, he wouldn't be holding her in a day's time. Chances were that he would go to bed feeling lonely, depressed, and empty.

Chances were that he wouldn't even get any sleep.

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Dum di dum. So most likely, I won't post for another week or so because I will be too busy to even get online. But I hope you review, and remember, the more reviews I get, the more likely it is that I will get online and update.

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