Storm Clouds

Chapter 21: Storm Clouds

"I have to block out thoughts of you, so I don't loose my head

They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed

Dropping little reels of tape, to remind me that I'm alone

Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home"

Cloud found a seat in the nearest available compartment where not many were occupying. It was cold on the train and dark. Lightning lit up the skies outside, flashing the cubicle with a blinding light.

The dangerous beauty of the storm drew Cloud to inch closer to the window. Rain drew captivating lines down the windows like spider webs. Scenery of the city was long behind him and nothing but the vast countryside laid before him.

He looked up from where the rain was coming from. The sky was blanketed in a dark cotton of menacing looking clouds that grumbled occasionally like a hungry bear. Cloud loved looking at the storm clouds.

The blonde took out the pamphlet that the conductor handed to him, listing all the stops they will make before reaching Damascus. This ride was scheduled to be 1 hour long which surprised Cloud. As his blue eyes ran down the list he noticed a familiar name. For a moment he could do nothing but stare at the name until he grew to hate it. Before the memories could torment him Cloud ripped the pamphlet and threw it on the ground.

Lightening flashed again, allowing Cloud's eyes to see a blink of red from the far corner of his sight.

"Don't like what you see?"

There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain

An ounce of peace is all I wanted for you, Will you never call again?

And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face

And will you never try to reach me; it is I that wanted space.

Cloud didn't bother turning his head to see him. Making eye contact would only prove that he was there beside him across the aisle.

"What are you doing here?"

"Following you to ask you the same question." Cloud didn't add on anything more but continued looking into the cheap designs of the carpet on the floor. "Cloud, look at me."

But Cloud couldn't; shame and guilt muddled together, producing a tormenting compound in his stomach. All he could do for Vincent's sake was shake his head 'no'.

"Fine, you don't have to speak. Just sit there and pout as always, getting nothing done—''

"I sit and pout!" Cloud barked. He forgot to not look at Vincent as he snapped his head towards his direction and lunged at him. "Take a look at yourself! You do nothing but mope around trying to catch everyone's attention to just feel sorry for you. You cling to only the things that you know and don't care to concern yourself with different things. Can you tell me how long you've been imprisoned in that mansion before I found you? And yet it's the first thing that you crawled back to after all of it was over. You want to know what your problem is Vincent? You love habit and that's what made me sick enough to leave you!"

Cloud jumped out of his seat and rampaged down the aisle towards the end where the door linking to the other section of the train laid. Vincent was paralyzed with shock and for a moment couldn't register what was going on now.

"C-Cloud! Cloud stop!"

Hate me today

Hate me tomorrow

Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in a way, yeah in ways hard to swallow

Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.

Cloud threw Vincent's beckoning away from his mind. He ignored his calls and continued marching down the aisles yet Vincent followed behind him with annoying persistence.

"Cloud stop, please!" When he knew Cloud wouldn't stop he grabbed his arm but the blonde thrashed at him the moment he touched him.

"Stay away from me! Can't you all get the hint that I'm trying to live me life again!"

"Oh! So is turning your back on everything and starting again your way with coping with life?"

"Well its better then facing it!"

"Why!" Vincent asked. "Why is it so hard for you to face life again? From what I remembered neither Tifa, Cid, nor I did anything to hurt you. Yuffie never called out against you. Red never treated you wrong. In fact from what I remembered all of us cared for you and would do almost anything for you as you would for us? Why would you want to run away from that?"

"Because it's not your friendship that I need!" Cloud roared. "The last thing I wanted was another hug or pat on the back. It got to the point where I felt like slitting my throat would bring more peace then an 'I'm sorry for your loss' or a 'Hang in there'. I ran away hoping that I wouldn't be smothered with your affection." All Vincent could do was stare at Cloud. After what seemed like eternity Cloud resumed his search for a spot far away from Vincent.

"Have you ever thought that maybe it's affection that you needed? And if you did then what then may I ask do you need if not care! Cloud? Answer the question." Cloud stopped and sighed.

"That's the reason why I'm on this train. To find out what I need."

You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate

You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take

So I'll drive so fucking far away that I'll never cross your mind

And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind.

Only the rumbling of the train echoed through his ears. Not a soul whispered a breath and for the first time, silence aggravated Cloud.

"Is that what you said to Reno?" Cloud thought of what to say.

"What I said to him was only out of love. I never wanted us to part like that but it was out of my control…I couldn't be with him. I've sinned too much to deserve him." Cloud didn't feel the tears melt from his eyes until one fell on his hand. Vincent couldn't understand what he meant by sinned. Only him and Reno shared that dark secret of Gabriel.

But no, Gabriel is dead. Just as Cloud died under the rubble, Gabriel died in that alley under Reno's green eyes. Now who is he now if neither of his identities exists anymore? His mind would have danced all night if Vincent hadn't interrupted with his soft words.

"Are you going to say the same to me now?"

"What?" Cloud gasped finally facing Vincent once again. Vincent's scarlet eyes, forever drenched in the innocent blood he spilt, slowly mounted their way to meet Cloud's.

"Are you going to say to me that we don't deserve each other? After all we've experienced, you're going let your grief drown you?" Cloud opened his mouth to speak but Vincent purposely cut him off. "You don't know what grief is. I thought you were dead just like everyone else. Even now I don't forgive what you did to us and don't think you can hide behind your personal issues to cover up."

Cloud only stood there gasping for breath from his sobs. It made him cry harder that Vincent just stood there as cold as he could.

"I've learned what I came here to learn from you. I may not understand it but I'll accept it…" He hesitated to say more but couldn't. Without another word he turned his back on Cloud and continued towards the opposite direction.

Slowly he was crawling out of Cloud's life, step by step. Why can't you see that I'm falling apart! Cloud balled his fists tightly against his legs. Why can't you understand that I've been waiting for you to come and hold me up? Save me from my own insanity. Even though his mind pleaded for Vincent, the cloaked rouge was deaf to his pleas.

Vincent! Please look at me; no one has in so many years. They only see a shell but you're the only one that can see me! You're the only one I'll show myself to but please look at me. Vincent!

"Vincent…" Too quiet, he doesn't hear. Without thought he keeps walking. "Vincent please…please look at me." His tears squished his voice as tall as an inch. His eyes focused on what was happening, and what was happening was that Vincent wasn't there anymore.

All that stood was a blonde angel with his wings ripped out and his heart bleeding in his hands. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't find what to say. Fuck words!

Cloud dashed through the compartment, through the doors, and stopped when he saw Vincent turn and looked at him. His eyes breaking through this shell and staring in awe at whom stood within the shell; and Cloud couldn't feel happier.

Seconds seemed like hours to Cloud as he stared at his savior. As if the playwright cued the moment in a script the two lovers raced for each others lips and they kissed. Never did they kiss a kiss as passionate as this, as if both were starving for the other their entire life.

Cloud ran his fingers through Vincent's silken black hair while crushing his frail body against his strong one. Vincent took in Cloud's scent and breathed in his hopes and fears.

They didn't notice the train gradually slow down to a stop until the conductor alarmed his voice through the speakers.

"Attention passengers. City Nibelhiem. Next stop Edge Town." Vincent finally was the one to part their kiss. Both him and Cloud looked out the windows and saw the bustling of the station in Nibelheim. Even to Vincent it seemed the city took on a new form full of life and vigor.

"Attention passengers: last call for Nibelhiem. Next stop Edge Town."

Vincent looked at Cloud and noticed he didn't look at him but stared out the windows of his hometown. He could tell thoughts were registering behind those oceanic eyes.

The conductor greeted those who were stepping on board, tipping his hat casually with a bright and reassuring smile.

"Have a nice day, gentlemen." He beamed.

"You too sir." Vincent answered back as he stepped off with Cloud faithfully beside him the entire way. As they were finally off the train Vincent again tried to analyze what Cloud was thinking. At the moment his face was passive and unreadable.

"Cloud?" Vincent called.

"Hmmm?"

"Are you coming?"

Cloud didn't instantly. For a moment Vincent feared his hesitation and silence.

"Yah…I think so." And without a hint of question, he walked tall and onward into the throng of the crowd and of life itself with Vincent holding his hand the entire way.

The End

I demand for you all to review to this chapter. I think I should have added more to it but I don't know if ending it here and like this is enough. What do you think? Anyway, I'm proud of what I've written thus far and I hope you all enjoyed reading it. I want to thank all my loyal readers whose reviewed and read this entire way through. Thank you so much! 