Distribution: Ask and you shall receive.

Kristi says: This is the rewritten Prologue.

Notes: None

Disclaimer: I don't own anything/anyone you recognize.

Prologue

I know that you're lying to me so why don't you just tell me the truth? Are you that much afraid?

You have me sitting here listening to the sugar coated words you keep saying. It all seems like some dream, just on big horrible nightmare. And yet I know it isn't a dream, as much as I wish it were. It isn't.

"I just need some time to think."

You say softly, your eyes never leaving mine. How can you look me in the eyes and lie? I keep asking myself this question. But to be honest I've been questioning a lot of things you've said lately, although I've never voiced them. For example, Do you love me anymore? Was I just something to kept around for your own amusement?

I know you love me but sometimes I can't help but think you don't...

I watch as you move around the bedroom, grabbing your things and then slowly making your way back to the bag you placed beside me. I never moved. I still just want to know why you're leaving. That's all I need to know.

You look at me as you stuff more clothes into your bag. You eyes shining with what seems like love, but I can't tell anymore. You've changed so much. No longer are you being honest with met. Instead your sugar coating everything as if I'm some child who needs to be held from the truth.

Do you not think that I'm strong enough?

I watch as you shake your head and offer me a small smile, so small I can barely tell that it was even there. I cross my arms, standing up from the bed. Your eyes following as I moved to the balcony. Yes, I'm giving you the cold shoulder. And I have every right too.

"Please...don't be like this." you said walking towards me. Your hand coming to rest on my shoulder and I just shook it off.

"Don't touch me." I hissed, turning quickly to face you. You stepped back. Am I scary now? "How could you?" I asked, fists clenching at my sides.

"I didn't do anything."

"Bullshit!"

You took another step back. I can see it in your eyes now, you're wondering why I'm acting so cold. Why I'm acting so harshly. What other way did you expect me to act?

Again you simply shook your head, turning away from me to retrieve your bag. You glance back at me and whispered, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

I refuse to look at you. I can't, not when you're about to walk out of my life. For how long?...Who knows. But I just know I can't look at you. I can hear you move toward the door.

You stopped at the door, glancing back at me again. "Save your tears. I'll come back." You whispered so softly, I didn't know if I heard what I did. I know you probably wanted me to turn around, stop you, do anything. But I couldn't. I was trying so hard to hide my pain. I couldn't even say goodbye. Sighing you left, closing the door behind you.

If I had cried when you were in here with me would you have stayed? What if I shouted? Maybe that was an answer.

This is it.

Falling onto the bed, I let everything out. I cried. Just cried holding on tightly to your pillow. It still has your scent. I cried into the pillow, begging for you not to leave. I know you can't hear me. But maybe...just maybe. My words could some how get to you.

Now that your gone...I can say what's in my heart. I love you. I'm sorry I never told you. I was afraid. Afraid you might not have felt the same way. Afraid you would just turn me away. But now. I may never have the chance to tell you the truth.

I love you!